When I was a kid we always used to go to my grandmother’s house in New York City. I had, as most kids had, two sets of grandmothers. My Grandma Rose was my favorite. She was amazing. She was fun, and she was very accepting of who I am. The only thing she didn’t like about me was that I decided not to get Bar Mitzvah’d.

I’ve never been much of a religious person, so I just decided at that religion was just not a big part of my life at a very young age.
My other grandmother, Grandma Frankie, taught me a lot. She taught me about architecture, about art, museums, all sorts of culture. She was the grandmother who lived in New York City. Every year we had to go to her house for Thanksgiving, and her house was always overheated. It was a beautiful duplex in Greenwich Village, but the heat was always pouring in so intensely that it just wasn’t fun to be in the house. My dad would plant himself in the giant living room chair. My mother would sit on the couch. My grandmother would talk at my mom, and my grandfather, who was basically a living zombie, would sit in his own chair and do absolutely nothing.

My sister, brother, and I would always escape upstairs to the den and watch the football game. My mom would find us and say, “You guys need to spend time with grandpa.”
Spending time grandpa was like watching paint dry. My grandfather never had anything to say. Not only did he not know how to entertain kids, he was just a big-time a social introvert. He married my grandmother when he was in his 50s. It was my grandmother’s second marriage. He was a very successful man, a very successful stock broker, but he never had anything to say to anybody. He was great with numbers, and great with investments, but just awful with people.

So we’d sit there and we’d say “Hello, Grandpa.” And he’d say, “Hello, children.” And we’d stare at him for about 10-15 minutes, talk about how school was going, blah blah, and the conversation would die. We’d sit there and we’d look around. We’d twirl our thumbs and, one by one, we’d run upstairs.
Being the oldest, I always used to run upstairs first, then my sister would follow, and then my brother would trial up last. By the time we came down the steps when dinner was ready, we’d always have this incredibly dry turkey. It was never good.

By then my stomach was churning anyway because I wasn’t having fun. I was kid. I was trapped inside this hot apartment, and then my grandmother would start lecturing us kids about whatever she felt like lecturing us about that year.

Thanksgivings were never fun for me. It was never my favorite holiday. I think whenever you’re forced to do something you don’t want to do as a kid and it ends up a bad experience for you, it tends to scar you for life.

So I’m not a big Thanksgiving person. I’m going to spend my Thanksgiving today with my family and make sure they enjoy the day immensely. I’m going to kick back and eat some great food. I’m going to watch some football. Can’t wait for the Lions-Packers game. I’m just going to relax.

And the most important part: I’m going to reflect at how amazing this year has been. I want to give thanks to everybody that’s been a part of my life, every customer who has purchased my products and learned something new, everybody who’s learned from my blogs has commented on my blog.
I want to give thanks to every single one of you who have attended my boot camps or signed up for private coaching. I want to thank all of you for allowing me into your lives.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Oh wait…wrong holiday.

This is it: Over the river and through the woods; To grandmother’s house we go!

Who wrote that annoying song anyway?

So today, one day before you are attacked by the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, where they all are going to ask you this one big question:

Why are you still single? How come you didn’t bring anyone to Thanksgiving dinner?

So instead of the usual defensive mode you go into, I have a solution for you.

Today’s podcast will give you the exact reason why you are single this Thanksgiving.

Your answer to Granny, Mom and Dad, friends, and co workers, lies in today’s special holiday bonus one hour podcast.

It’s time to understand the importance of your journey. It’s time to embrace how how being single is the way to go.

And one last thing: Do not let Mom, Aunt Susie, or Grandma set you up on a date. They have no clue what you like in another person, and they did not listen to this podcast to understand why you are single and what you are looking for.

Well, it’s true. You have to wake up at 1:00 in the morning, be first in line, and be armed with a great pair of track shoes so you can sprint faster than everyone else to get the one and only plasma television they are selling for $529.00.

Here’s something, though, about which probably none of you are thinking on Black Friday. Black Friday is probably one of the best days to meet people.

Why? People are out and about all day long. People are also thinking about the holiday season.

They just spent Thanksgiving with their family.  Families are wonderful at making you feel like a total loser.  When are you going to get married?  When are you going to have kids?  How come you’re not dating anybody this year? Wow, you’ve spent a lot of this year alone.

Family members will give you what I call “the holiday guilt,” because they make you feel like your entire life has been wasted or that you are wasting your entire life. You’re not dating anybody, so you’re dateless.  How many of you heard some version of this on Thanksgiving: “God, at your age most people are already married. All your friends are married, aren’t they?”

This happens so often around the holidays because we spend more time with our family than we do with friends. Often we overdose on time with family during this time of the year.

You go home for Thanksgiving for four days.  You go home for Christmas for four days. During all of those days you get tortured by your grandmother, you mothers, your father, and an occasional aunt, as they take inventory on the past year of your dating life, your career and the rest of your life.

So when you’re out shopping today for your lovely family and other friends, remember what kind of emotional state most people are in after spending yesterday with their family watching their sister with her three happy children when they don’t have any children.

That’s what being with family does to you.  It doesn’t mean that family does this maliciously at all. It’s just the way family is.  

When you are shopping today, start talking to people and ask people how their Thanksgiving was.  You’ve got stories to share. Ask them, “Who are you getting this gift for?” or “How was yesterday?” or “Did your family give you the 411 like mine did?

Really think about people’s emotions today and how open people are on the day after Thanksgiving. After someone has spent a full day with their family giving them Jewish guilt (or any other kind of guilt), they are emotionally open because they’ve taken inventory. They have actually thought about what their family said.

People are very sensitive, and can really take to heart what their family says to them. They feel uncomfortable with what their family says to them.

So when you’re out there today shopping on Black Friday, talk, flirt and ask people if they got the one plasma television that was on sale for $529.00. Have fun in line if you’re one of those people who will be waiting in a line for the special 5:00 pm deals they have later in the day.  

If you’re single, get your ass out there to shop. Don’t shop on the Internet.

I tell everyone who is single not to shop on the Internet, because you can get deals that are just as good in the stores. You can quote the Internet prices to stores, and many of them will match them.

For those of you who are single and who celebrate Christmas, it’s time to go shopping every single day. I will talk plenty about this between now and ho ho ho.

So on this Thanksgiving Day, I wanted to share with all of you my take on the day — as well as a little personal message from me.

Did you sing that song as a kid — you know, the “Over The River And Through The Woods To Grandmother’s House We Go …” song? I never really understood the “over the river and through the woods” analogy for Thanksgiving because my Grandmother made the driest turkey this side of the Sahara Desert.

We’re about to head into the holiday season. Six weeks of tedious annoying Zales Jewelers commercials, not to mention that lovely $69.00 diamond pendant with diamonds the size of bedbugs.

What Thanksgiving really kicks off is the start of the most vulnerable six weeks of the year for singles. Let’s call it “the quest to meet someone before 5-4-3-2-1 woo hoo Happy New Year!”

I’ve had some great Thanksgiving Days though. I remember a few years ago when I had nothing going on for Thanksgiving. So I walked into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving and I picked up my Thanksgiving dinner: a box of Peanut Butter Bumpers and soy milk.

As I was looking for some pumpkin pie to finish off my sugar rush, I bumped into this really sexy woman who had a cart full of some really great looking food. So I started a conversation with her:

DW: “Your dinner looks a lot better than mine.”

Her: “Please tell me that’s not your Thanksgiving dinner.”

DW: “I’d love to tell you it’s not not my Thanksgiving dinner, but that would be a lie. I was going to get Cruchberries, but they were out of them. Crunchberries remind me of my Grandmother’s cranberry sauce and dried out turkey.”

We proceeded to talk, and she said that she refused to let me eat Peanut Butter Bumpers for Thanksgiving . . . and I got invited to a Thanksgiving night party with her and seven of her friends.

I have a confession to make to all of you — I’ve done that every year I’ve been single.

I actually enjoy spending Thanksgiving with total strangers. I mean, didn’t the pilgrims do that before they killed all the Indians? Then again, my knowledge of history is a little poor at times . . .

So if you want to know where I’ll be today, I will be spending the day with my wife and having dinner with friends.

On a more serious note, I do want to wish all of you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful, and I am thankful for many things this year. A thanks to all of you for letting me come into your hearts, minds … and your computer screens this year.

Enjoy Turkey Day!

Did this year work out the way you wanted it to?

Or are you ready to quit, pack it in, and start all over with some ridiculous New Year’s Resolution?

Let me be upfront with you.

Nothing is going to change when the New Year hits. You’re going to be the same person and if you desire to make a change than that time is now!

I call this end of year momentum.

Are you curious yet?

Today’s podcast determines whether you are a winner or a quitter!

Get more beautiful women over Thanksgiving and Christmas with my new step-by-step guide called “Guy’s Guide To Hooking Up For The Holidays.” It’s my early Christmas gift to you so get it NOW!

He said, “I was hanging out with Khiem and his girlfriend, and there was this girl we ran into who was one of those loud girls. Everything she said was just over-the-top — amplified and loud. How do I deal with that? I mean, she was pretty. I thought she was hot, but how do I relate to her?”

Here was my answer: You don’t.

It’s so funny. As a man, we are so visual. We get so caught up with “the hot girl” that we tend to really never think about what it would like to hang out with her.

Can you imagine having a woman like the one Will met over for Thanksgiving dinner? She gets asked what she’d like on her plate, and she screams “drumstick!!” at the top of her lungs.

This person does not match who you are. This is not your personality style at all. This is not a person with whom you would get along.

So forget the fact that your penis is attracted to her, because that’s really all that is happening. Your eyes are attracted to her. Your penis felt some movement because it was attracted to her. That is all there is to it though.

It’s called penile attraction. Thank God it’s not fatal, because if it was a fatal attraction then other things would happen.

It is just penile attraction. That is all it is, so walk away from it.

You don’t vibe with her. You don’t relate to her. You two have totally different personalities. So walk away.

I do know what I’m going to be for Halloween, though, this year. I am going to be jet lag.

It’s going to be about 10:45 am when I finish writing this blog, and after getting up at 4:30 am, I have already caught up on seventeen days of emails, walked the dog three times, went to Whole Foods, got the car washed, and saw the sunrise for the first time . . . sober.

Even after accomplishing all of that by mid-morning, I still can’t figure out why people always say it’s great to get up early because you get so much done in the morning. It’s true that you get a lot done in the morning, but then you’re tired by lunch and you have the whole rest of the day still ahead of you.

I get so much done all day long, and I’m not tired. So once my body clock goes back to normal, I think I’ll continue to be a late riser.

The great thing about being away for a while at this time of the year, is that I am going to get to go through my second “fall back.” I already “fell back” once in France, and now I’m going to get to do it again here in L.A. it’s like time travel.

Speaking of time travel, I saw an absolutely terrible movie on the airplane called “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” I still don’t understand how you can go back in time and see yourself.

That would, however, be a great idea for a Halloween costume. You can tell people you are a time traveler and you’ll see them in ten minutes. What a great approach for the night. You are talking to a woman and you say, “I’d love to talk to you now, but I’m time traveling. I’ll see you in three hours . . . in my bed. How do I know that? I’m a time traveler!”

Have a great Halloween, and enjoy this classic Halloween blog. . .

It’s time for the Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash . . . It caught on in a flash . . . ‘Cause it’s the Monster Mash . . .

So how exactly are you going to mash this Halloween season?

Remember the good old days walking door to door with a plastic pumpkin, knocking on strangers’ doors, and hoping you didn’t get an apple with a razorblade in it? By the way, what kind of person hands out apples at Halloween anyway? We’re out for candy! In fact, lots of candy . . . and not a stinkin’ apple! That’s the shit your mother gives you at home.

As we rang each door bell, we’d utter these magic words: “Trick or treat for UNICEF!” For those of you who don’t know what UNICEF is, it was a private collection. That is, we would collect it . . . and UNICEF would never ever get it.

Wouldn’t it be fun if you could go to an apartment complex where hot chicks and singles reside wearing your Scooby Doo costume with the plastic mask and that shiny material that your mother had to tie in the back. You remember those, the kind where if your mother bought the wrong size, it only came down to your ankles?

The great thing about that shiny material though was that it repelled all the eggs and the shaving cream pelted at you by the older kids. Not to mention, it was always freezing outside and you never wanted to wear a jacket because it would ruin your great costume.

What a great costume that was that your Mom bought for $5.00 at Wal*Mart. Thanks a lot Mom!

Not to mention, sometimes your head was too big for the plastic mask so either a lot of chin or a lot of forehead would always be visible. On top of everything else, that cheap elastic string on the back of the mask would continuously break, so the mask got tighter and tighter every time you fixed it.

So now you’re an adult. You are no longer trick or treating in cheap costumes that don’t fit. You now dress up in adult-themed costumes.

Women will dress up in skimpy little bunny costumes. Men will dress up as women . . . not a pretty sight by the way, and definitely not a costume I would consider.

Instead of getting a stomach ache from eating a pumpkin full of candy, as adults we get a stomach ache from drinking a pumpkin full of booze. The candy is no longer chocolate with caramel filling . . . it has become the opposite sex.

The problem is that people tend to act really stupid on Halloween. They start talking like the character they are portraying.

I met this female pirate one time at a Halloween party. When I asked if she would like a drink, she answered “Aye matey!” Then I asked if she would be interested in some casual sex that night, and she answered “Aye matey!!” In fact, she said “Aye matey!” all night until she passed out from drinking too much pumpkin juice.

A Halloween party for adults is hilarious. Women will have sex on Halloween and then rationalize it: “It wasn’t me . . . Wonder Woman slept with him.” Men will approach women with the worst pick-up lines ever.

Everyone here in L.A. wants to go the Halloween party at the Playboy mansion which, by the way, I’ have attended. It happens to be a lot of fun. Lots of “Aye Matey’s” there . . . and lots of people on drugs.

There’s nothin’ like Halloween in L.A.! I think here in L.A., that everybody’s magic pumpkin is filled with magical Ecstasy.

Once again, remember that Halloween is just one night. Either you can rap or you can’t.

Just wearing a costume is not going to turn a man into a smooth-talking stud. A woman’s sexy skimpy costume is also not going to make her the social butterfly she craves to be. Halloween is also the night you will hear the most stupid pick-up lines of any night of the year . . . with the possible exception of 5-4-3-2-1 night.

So what is my idea for a good Halloween? Go to Target. Buy one of those little kid costumes and an orange plastic pumpkin. I’m sure one of that little kid costumes will go down as far as your knees . . . if you’re lucky. This is very funny.

Then go door to door wearing your costume and carrying the plastic pumpkin, and say this to the hot single mom or dad who answers the door: “Trick or treat for a social life! Please put your phone number in the pumpkin, and I’ll call you tomorrow when I become a person again instead of a giant Hello Kitty.”

I think I’m going to go to this area of my town that has a ton of single women and ring some bells. Bells will be ringin’ … Oops! Wrong holiday.

So now you know what I will be doing on Halloween. What will you be doing?

I will leave you with one of my favorite kid jokes: Why can’t witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have Halloweenies …

So on this Thanksgiving Day, I wanted to share with all of you my take on the day — as well as a little personal message from me.

Did you sing that song as a kid — you know, the “Over The River And Through The Woods To Grandmother’s House We Go …” song? I never really understood the “over the river and through the woods” analogy for Thanksgiving because my Grandmother made the driest turkey this side of the Sahara Desert.

We’re about to head into the holiday season. Six weeks of tedious annoying Zales Jewelers commercials, not to mention that lovely $69.00 diamond pendant with diamonds the size of bedbugs.

What Thanksgiving really kicks off (other than the end of the Chargers’ playoff hopes) is the start of the most vulnerable six weeks of the year for singles. Let’s call it “the quest to meet someone before 5-4-3-2-1 woo hoo Happy New Year!”

I’ve had some great Thanksgiving Days though. I remember a few years ago when I had nothing going on for Thanksgiving. So I walked into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving and I picked up my Thanksgiving dinner: a box of Peanut Butter Bumpers and soy milk.

As I was looking for some pumpkin pie to finish off my sugar rush, I bumped into this really sexy woman who had a cart full of some really great looking food. So I started a conversation with her:

DW: “Your dinner looks a lot better than mine.”
Her: “Please tell me that’s not your Thanksgiving dinner.”
DW: “I’d love to tell you it’s not not my Thanksgiving dinner, but that would be a lie. I was going to get Cruchberries, but they were out of them. Crunchberries remind me of my Grandmother’s cranberry sauce and dried out turkey.”

We proceeded to talk, and she said that she refused to let me eat Peanut Butter Bumpers for Thanksgiving … and I got invited to a Thanksgiving night party with her and seven of her friends.

I have a confession to make to all of you — I’ve done that every year I’ve been single.

I actually enjoy spending Thanksgiving with total strangers. I mean, didn’t the pilgrims do that before they killed all the Indians? Then again, my knowledge of history is a little poor at times …

So if you want to know where I’ll be today, I will be spending the day with my girlfriend and having dinner with friends.

On a more serious note, I do want to wish all of you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful, and I am thankful for many things this year. A thanks to all of you for letting me come into your hearts, minds … and your computer screens this year.

Also, a special thank you to all the guys who — once again in overwhelmingly large numbers — were kind enough to send me the feedback I requested yesterday for the upcoming launch of my membership site.

So Enjoy Turkey Day!