No feedback? No “love it” or “hate it” remarks? What’s up with that?

My designer called today and asked for feedback from all of you about the site, and I had to tell him I hadn’t heard a peep from anyone. Now he is depressed and thinking of a new career!

So, let’s help him out and give him some feedback. Tell me what you think of the new site design.

In this corner, we have a BlackBerry weighing 6.2 ounces.  In that corner, we’ve got an iPhone weighing 8.1 ounces. 

The iPhone has texting that you can do with your fingers that is a self-predicted type, but your fingers can’t be too big to get that little keyboard to work. The BlackBerry Pearl has predictive type where they actually choose words for you. The BlackBerry Curve doesn’t have the predictive typing, but it’s bigger so you’re able to type really fast on it.

Now the question is: Which device is best for text fighting? Text fighting is the newest thing in dating.

It’s a wonderful thing. You’re in the middle of an argument with the person you’re dating and they leave the house. Do you remember the good old days when you got into a little argument with your significant other, you walked out of the house and you were able to not talk to that person again until you were ready?

Well that is no more, because now there is the phenomenon of text fighting. Text fighting is wonderful because the second they walk out the door you can send them a text.  Why walk out the door like that? 

Not only that, but you can continue text fighting for hours. You can do it while you’re watching television. You can text fight while driving (although it’s not a brilliant thing to do and against the law in California). You can even do it at the office.

You can consistently text fight for hours — back and forth, circles and circles, round and round.  If you’re really good at texting, you can almost text them as quickly as they text you back.  Some of you are so fast you can have three texts for every one of theirs.

Fights used to last five or ten minutes.  Your lover would leave, you’d have a few hours to cool off, and by the time they got home you’d both apologize because you’d realize both of you were being an ass. 

Now-a-days with text fighting, though, you can continue a fight for long periods of time and even turn the original fight into other fights. Not only that, but text fighting gives each person proof of what an ass they were being during an argument. With text fighting, you can go back and re-read the texts you sent in anger, re-live each angry text.

It’s so destructive! Things that are said in anger should never be thrown back in somebody’s face. Things that are said in anger — whether they come out of your mouth or out of a BlackBerry — should be deleted right away.

They should never be re-read again, because we all say stupid things in anger. We all say stupid things at the wrong moment. You should never hold anyone to what they said in anger.

So if you do get into a text fight, delete those negative texts.  Delete them immediately, because they’re just going to bring more unnecessary bad stuff into your relationship.

So as I was on my BlackBerry, there was a woman standing next to me. I looked at her and very genuinely said, “How is your day?” I did it very nonchalantly, and didn’t think too much about it.

When I see another person standing next to me, I don’t worry about coming up with some magical thing to say or a comic opener to win someone over. I never think, “Oh my God, I have to say something really funny…”

You don’t ever have to say something funny to talk to someone of the opposite sex or to anyone else. You really can just say, “Hey, how is your day?” You need to be genuine about it, like you really do care how their day is going.

After I asked this woman in the market how her day was going, she actually proceeded to give me a pretty detailed account of what she had been doing. She told me about a pool party she had gone to earlier. I said, “oh, I’ve read about those pool parties, but thought everyone there was probably way too young. She told me they weren’t too young and we chatted for a bit.

The next thing you know, she started busting me about the color of my sunglasses and how they matched my BlackBerry. This whole nice, friendly conversation started with a simple, “How is your day?”

So many guys waste so much time thinking about what to say and trying to come up with clever or funny things to say, when really all you need to say is, “How is your day?” Practice it. Practice saying it genuinely. Say it to yourself ten times, “How is your day? How is your day? How is your day?”

What would you say if someone walked over to you and asked you that question? Would you look at them and say, “Is that the best you can come up with? That wasn’t funny or clever.” Come on . . .

“How is your day?” It’s a simple thing to say every single time you see somebody and you’re at a loss for words. You need to say it genuinely and show her that you really are interested in her answer. You may be surprised what kinds of conversations you end up having.

Today i thought this old video would really help out men who can not grasp this simple concept. Time to get out of your own heads!

The perfect summer date!!

Anyway lets talk today about the convenience that things like cell phones, iPhones and BlackBerrys afford us, there is one major drawback: Our constant attention to them may be putting a serious dent in our love lives. There are so many people who spend virtually all day every day giving their cell phone, iPhone or BlackBerry 100% of their attention. Those people are missing opportunities to meet people every day, and in fact may not be meeting people at all.

These are likely the same people, by the way, from whom I receive emails daily complaining that they never see anyone to meet. The irony is that those people are being honest when they say they don’t see anyone to meet . . . but it’s not because people aren’t there. They are victims of “self cell phone sabotage.”

I don’t want any of you to be sabotaging yourselves from finding great connections all because of your cell phone. So to help you be aware if you unknowingly killing your love life by “self cell phone sabotage,” here are 6 ways your phone may be ruining your dating life:

1. You’re Stopping Them Mid-Approach: You’re in a store where someone is checking you out – someone you’ve also noticed and found attractive. Then that someone decides to approach you, but the minute they take their first step in your direction, your phone rings . . . and you answer it. Not only do you answer it, but you proceed to have the same unimportant repetitive conversation with the friend who called you. By doing this, you have stopped someone who was already interested in you from approaching – and they probably won’t wait around to do it a second time.

2. You’re Totally Programmed: Let’s put you in that same store, and that same person you were attracted to walks right by you and smiles just as you receive a text message on your phone. What do you do? Instead of reacting to what’s going on around you and reciprocating with a smile, you react like Pavlov’s dog to the “ding” of the incoming text and immediately look at your phone to find out who texted you. Not only did you miss that person to whom you WERE attracted smiling at you, but by not acknowledging their smile that person will believe you are not interested and they will walk away (and likely never smile at you again).

3. You’re Never “Here”: You could be out with a group of your friends in a great place filled with people you would want to meet. Instead of being present and talking with the people with whom you’re with physically, you are spending the entire time and devoting 100% of your attention to a full-blown conversation you are having with another friend via text message on your BlackBerry. Meanwhile a man or woman that you may have been interested in comes over and starts talking to your group. You are so involved in your text message conversation that you don’t even notice he or she is there. When you don’t acknowledge that person, they will assume you’re not interested and will walk away.

4. It Never Occurs To You To Look: It’s not that you don’t leave the house. You are in the grocery store, the gym, the book store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners EVERY DAY. So when I hear people say that they “never see anyone” to meet, I know immediately that they’re not “seeing” anyone because they’re simply not looking. If people want to meet people so badly why aren’t they looking? Well because they allow you to do virtually everything right from the palm of your hand, many people never stop checking their email, making business calls, doing Internet research and sending text messages. So even though they’re out in public, they miss everything (and everyone) around them. They also never interact with anyone – they don’t look at people, smile at people or flirt with people. It it any wonder they’re not meeting anyone?

5. You Make Your Date A “Third Wheel”: You’ve met someone you think you might really like, and you go out on a date with them. So there you are enjoying their company and feeling like there might be an amazing potential connection. Then the red light on your phone starts flashing or your phone starts vibrating alerting you that a text message has just been received. What do you do? Despite the fact that you’re in the middle of a great date, you just can’t resist picking up your phone to see who sent you that text. When you do this, you immediately turn off the person with whom you’re on the date. Nobody likes having a date interrupted by text messages, and nobody likes to feel that their date’s attention is not focused on them. You’re date will feel like a “third wheel.” You’ve also shown your date that your first priority will always be your phone.

6. You’re Always Available But Never Free: When someone tells me that they don’t get approached, or that they never “see” anyone to meet, I know that most of the time this is because that person does not make themselves available. In the case of people who are glued to their cell phone, their BlackBerry or their iPhone, what is happening is that they are “available” in that they are in places where they can meet people but they aren’t ever free. People won’t approach them, because they always seem busy with whatever they’re doing on their phone. They also won’t ever notice potential opportunities to meet people because they never look up from their phone.

So while I love the flexibility and the convenience that my BlackBerry affords me in being able to conduct so many of my business and personal affairs from ANYWHERE, I want to caution everyone to not let them take over your whole life. By doing so, you may be unknowingly killing your dating life.

Start being conscious about how much time you are spending glued to your phone, and try to avoid behaviors like these. Just think how many people you may have completely missed who wanted to meet YOU. Start paying attention to what’s going on LIVE around you. You won’t believe what (and who) you’ve been missing!

“Hey David! Are you there?”
“Hey David, Can I ask you a question?”
“Hey David – I have a situation with a woman right now … ”

Things like that are popping up nonstop on my screen. It’s really funny that there are all these ways to contact me in ways I don’t want to be contacted.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love hearing from people, but I have one email address — david@davidwygant.com — that I want people to use to contact me.
People will be on my website, but for some reason or other decide to contact me via Facebook.

It’s not just Facebook. I get things from MySpace. I get things from Twitter. I get them from all over the place. I get people who just randomly text me nonstop saying things like “Hey, how are you?”

What is so funny is that in this age of communication where people are so good at communicating via all these different methods — Facebook, Twitter, MySpace etc — that people still can’t say hello to each other in a store. Pretty wild, isn’t it?

Can you imagine us all walking around with laptops around our necks? Every time we’d pass someone, their Facebook page immediately shows up on our laptop screen. So instead of actually talking to them, you can just send them an IM as they’re shopping in the grocery store aisles.

You could be sitting in traffic and, all of a sudden, you notice you’re attracted to the person driving in the car next to you. You could then immediately jump on their MySpace page, IM them and say “Hey you! I’m in the car next to you. Want to chat?”

People don’t do this in real life. Seems like everyone is good in the cyberworld, but lousy in reality, and the fact is that reality is the only thing that matters.

The other day I was walking near these two kids who were about ten or twelve years old. They were texting their friends and ignoring each other.

I remember when I was a kid, we used to go on roadtrips all the time. We actually used to look out the window and see what was going on around us. Now, kids stare at DVD screens in the car and text their friends.

It’s amazing how many people complain nonstop about how they’re not meeting anyone. The reason a lot of people aren’t meeting anyone is because they have their head up their electronic ass all day long!

As most of you know, I’ve been looking for an iPhone. One guy said to me that if I get the 3G iPhone, that it may not be compatible with the T-Mobile network making the mobile web service work a lot more slowly. I told him I didn’t really care because I don’t need the mobile web nonstop.

I like to connect with people, say hello to my friends and neighbors, and get to know new people. Also, what ever happened to learning what someone is all about as a person? I don’t need to read it on a Facebook page or a MySpace page. I can actually walk up to people and find out more information in five minutes than I ever would on their Facebook page or MySpace page.

When people write in cyberspace, it is often a bunch of lies. Everyone writes as the person they want to be, not the person they really are. Everybody makes themselves sound so perfect, and they do it on dating sites as well too.

So, really, think about the amount of hours you spend IMing people, texting people and trying to get in touch with old friends. Think about all the time you spend reconnecting with people whom you really haven’t connected with in so long.

We’re all looking for those great friendships or that great love, and we’re doing everything we possibly can to find them. We’re reconnecting on Facebook with people we dated twenty years ago to see if there’s anything to be rekindled with that old flame.

In reality, though, how much time are you spending every day actually going out and meeting people? This is what I’m teaching you here. It’s about the spark you can find in everyday life. It’s about living life and not spending so much time in cyberspace.

As I sit here wasting time not only checking out all the useless emails on Facebook, I want to also tell people to stop tagging people, hitting them with water guns, and all the other stupid applications that Facebook offers. Who cares if someone wants to squirt you with a water gun?

Great! Come to my house, talk to me, and then let’s get into an old-fashioned water gun fight instead of you tagging me with an imaginary water gun in this imaginary world called Facebook.

Are you ready to put down the Facebook pages and meet women out and about in the real world? Summer is a great time to meet people at street fairs.

Check this out and be inspired:)

The minute Sunday afternoon rolls around, they start thinking about work. They start worrying about the upcoming week. My Mom even used to lay out the clothes she was going to wear on Monday. People do all this, and in essence kill the rest of their Sunday.

What is really sad about this, is that people who have “Monday anxiety” are people who really only have a one day weekend. As far as I’m concerned, I couldn’t care less about Monday until it is Monday.

So today for those of you who suffer from “Monday anxiety,” just relax and enjoy your Sunday! I purposely posted this blog late today, because I know you “Monday anxiety” sufferers are already deep into your suffering and I was hoping that just maybe this might be your connection back to Sunday.

Today’s blog is directed to the women out there, but I know all you guys can relate to this situation as well.

You know, it is difficult for most guys to approach a group of women. Women are just brutal about going out in packs of three or four, and then just huddling together. It’s really intimidating for a lot of guys to approach the group to meet one of the women in the group in whom he’s interested.

There is something I see going on time and time again in these “packs” of women that I really wanted to address. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out and seen a man approach one of these packs of women, and there will be one woman who sits there texting someone who is not even there but giving the absent party the blow by blow of what’s going on around her.

You can imagine the texts now. “Oh Mary, you should really come here. There are so many cute guys here.” I would want to ask our texter this: How would YOU know? You’re not even present!

When you’re out and with a group of people, don’t text another person who is not there. It’s hard enough for guys to approach you in the first place.

You don’t want to be that woman who is just texting away nonstop, because it means that you are not present in the moment. If you’re not present in the moment then you’re going to miss tons of opportunities to meet someone.

So from now on if you’re out with a group and feel compelled to have a text talk, then take yourself to the bathroom and do it when you’re alone. Don’t text people when you’re in a restaurant or bar when you’re out to meet people.

Don’t text people who aren’t there, because as you’re giving attention to someone who isn’t there you are also ignoring people who are there. In particular, you are ignoring any men with whom you could possibly be connecting at that moment.

So start opening up your energy. The truth is that if you are out in one of these “women packs,” you are going to have to if you want men to approach. Four women will be out together in a football-like huddle, and they will wonder why guys aren’t approaching them.

If you want men to approach you in this situation, your energy has to change. You have to smile.  You’ve got to face the room, and not have your back turned to the crowd of people around you. When you do that, you make it virtually impossible to approach you.

When you open your energy, face the crowd and smile, you make it possible for men to break into your pack. So the next time you’re out and one of your friends is texting, grab her phone and tell her to remain open and present. You will all have a much more enjoyable night!

It’s amazing how many people I call, and the first thing I learn about them is their phone number recited by a computerized woman’s voice. Do you realize that your first “meeting” with and introduction to someone might be via your voicemail message?

You may thereafter hand somebody a business card with the intention of introducing yourself to them for business purposes, but their first impression of you will remain hearing “You have reached 310-555-1212 . . . ” Do you know what type of first impression that makes? None.

The other terrible thing about this ever-so-sexy computerized voice reciting a phone number as your voicemail message, is that as the caller you sometimes think you may have dialed the wrong number because there is no way to know whose voicemail you’ve reached (since today we don’t usually memorize everyone’s phone number). So you don’t leave a message. Thus, even though we know we dialed 312-555-1212, we might have hit the wrong button and we didn’t memorize it.

I don’t care whether it’s your business or your personal voicemail, you need to leave a warm personally recorded message so people who hear it can get an idea of your personality. For example, I’ve been using basically the same voicemail message for years. In mine, I say:

“Hey, it’s David. Great to hear from you. Looking forward to speaking with you, but I can’t get to the phone right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I get into the office. Take care, and make it a great day!”

Your voicemail message should at a minimum be something that’s strong. I have excitement in my voice in my message.

I want people to be excited to talk to me. I want people to be interested in talking to me. I want them to know that I’m a warm person.

It’s amazing how lazy most people have become. This is a problem that is equally prevalent in men as it is in women.

There is no reason you should have a computerized voicemail message at work. It’s unprofessional in every way. Let people know about who you are.

If you’re dating, then having a computerized voicemail message is simply ridiculous. If I call a woman and get the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” voicemail, then I wonder if I was handed a wrong phone number and very often I will not want to leave a message.

Why should I leave a message in that situation? I don’t know whose phone I’ve reached. I don’t know if I’ve reached Amy, Lisa … or some weird 90-year old guy in prison somewhere who just likes to listen to voicemail messages.

So when you record your voicemail message, make it warm and friendly – but don’t make it stupid. I can’t tell you how many times I have called someone and, after hearing their dog barking in the background, their message in their cutest tone of voice says “Fred says ‘leave a message!’ Ha Ha Ha …” That is really annoying.

Also, what about when you call up a family home and after the voicemail begins “You’ve reached the Wilsons ….” you hear each child in turn yell their own name like “Timmy! Amy! Joe!” followed by the dog barking after being introduced. How cute … if you’re a part of that family.

How about the people who put an excerpt of a tv show or song as part of their voicemail message? Like that makes sense. Why in order to leave someone a message am I being forced to endure 30 seconds of a tv show that I don’t watch?

It’s time we all grew up. It’s time we all stopped being lazy. It’s time we all recorded a personal voicemail message.

So for all of you who have the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” message on your voicemail, it’s time you decided to say “hi.” As for me, I’ll end this blog by saying “This is David . . . and welcome to my voicemail!”

Going further into voice. Do you know how to create powerful emotions with the tone of your voice.
Todays video explores that and more!