Here’s what most people do:

They will set a standard time to meet—let’s say 7:00, 7:30.

Then they’ll text to confirm, and the text will usually be something bland and boring like this:

I’ll see you tonight at 7:00! Looking forward to it.

Wow, great! Sounds like every other text she’s ever received. It doesn’t sound like anything fun, interesting, different—nothing to pre-arouse her before the date.

I was talking with a client yesterday on the phone. He was taking a girl out later for a scavenger hunt. So I told him, throughout the day drop little clues and little hints about where you’re going to meet her, and maybe some ideas of what you’re going to do—without actually telling her.

You do this because it pre-arouses her. It gets her all intrigued. It gets her really interested in what you are about to do.

And it’s fun! And it’s different! And if you like her and think she’s cool, then you’re showing her a side of your personality that’s playful and fun.

To be honest with you, I do this when I find somebody interesting, because I want somebody to be fun, playful back right at me.

I date her the way I want her to date me. — Click to Tweet

I’ll send her little fun texts, trying to intrigue her mind, because I want a woman to do that back to me.

When I’m in the pre-arousal period, I’m going to see the type of person that I’ll be hanging with—I’ll see if she can play along with me or if she’s fun.

How she responds during this time tells me a lot about who she is as a woman. Is she fun, is she playful, is she uptight, is she tense, is she spontaneous? And that shows a lot of things.

And don’t forget: most people don’t do this! So it shows her that she’s with somebody who’s in complete control.

And let’s be honest: women want to be led. They want a man that’s in control. They like to be told what to do. They like to be told when to show up. And as long as you can tell them when to show up and what to wear, they’ll all be fighting for the date with you.

Most guys are so boring. And that’s the reason why they don’t get a second date. It’s about having fun.

So the next time you date, do something a little different. Intrigue her with some texts. Make her think a little bit. And more importantly, have her anticipate the date all day long. Because, to her, dating is just foreplay; the more she anticipates going out with you, the better the connection you’ll have.

It’s all about anticipation with women.

Don’t be a standard dater.  Be somebody who’s creative and playful and understands what dating is all about.

If you don’t really understand what dating is all about, I strongly suggest you check this out right now:

http://www.davidwygant.com/art-of-close 

It’s time that you started getting second dates, third dates, fifth dates, and home-runs.

It’s time to stop being a one-and-doner.

Create intrigue. Get her aroused. Find success.

Never ask a woman out via text.

I know, I kinda threw that one out there.

But this isn’t even a rule—it’s a commandment.

Call me old fashioned.

Maybe I am.

Or maybe I’m somebody who actually understands women.

Guys, I coach women. I’ve been doing it for over 14 years.

And the number one thing women can’t stand is when a guy asks her out via text.

Here are three reasons why:

1. You look like a passive wimp. You heard me correctly. When you meet a woman, and text her instead of calling her to ask her out on a date, in her mind, she’s assuming that you think she’s going to say no.

You don’t own it, and to her, you appear like an unconfident guy.

2. Texts don’t always go through. Sometimes, texts just get lost in the textosphere or wherever they may go. It’s not 100% reliable. A voicemail message is always going to go through. When she picks up the phone, it will always go through.

3. She may be busy and forget your text. She may be in the middle of a meeting, she may be working, and your text gets lost on her phone. She may be busy doing other things and then totally forget about the text. And then, she’ll look at her phone in the next day or two and realize that she never answered that text.

And then she feels bad, and she thinks that you’re going to think that she’s rude. So she doesn’t text back. And that’s it for you.

. . .

So consider those three reasons before you decide to shoot off that text message to the girl you just met.

Texting is great in some situations. (Like sexting!) But it’s still just a tool; just one method of communication.

You have to remember that you have other, more powerful tools in your toolbox.

Like your voice.

Don’t underestimate the power of your voice. Women want to hear your voice. They want to talk to you. They want to hear the words, “Hey, I’m going to this fun concert on the weekend. You should come along and keep me company…”

They want to hear it.

Texting is an art. It’s all about intrigue. But once you’ve got her intrigued—get on the damn phone!

And close the deal.

Close the deal with your voice, and you can use your other tools to close the deal later.

You hear me?

We actually have a couple generations now that are missing things. Anybody born after the year 1980 is missing something. That thing is one of the beauties of making life work. It’s called the art of communication.

I see high school kids constantly on their phones texting. I see kids texting at age seven. I even saw a grandfather the other day in an elevator playing on his phone while his grandson was standing there bored. We’ve become a society of texters: people who no longer want to connect with the person standing next to them and would rather get into a heated text message conversation with somebody in a completely different location.

What is that? That’s called not being present.

Back when I was in my 20s, we didn’t have cell phones, and of course we didn’t have texting. Shit, we used to write phone numbers down on napkins and pieces of paper. And then if the other person didn’t pick up, we’d have to leave a message with whoever picked up and hope that the person we were trying to reach actually got the message.

And so in my 20s I was forced to learn how to be a good communicator. I was forced to learn how to go out there and talk to people every single day, because that was the only way I was really going to connect with people, by talking to them, by listening, and by being present.

These days we have a generation of shortcuts. I see a lot of the younger guys and the younger women asking me all the time for some kind of a shortcut to get the knowledge they want about dating and learning about the opposite sex. They want an F7 key for learning the art of seduction, or a Ctrl-8 key for getting a phone number, or Ctrl-C key so they can figure out how to make life work more smoothly.

There’s no shortcut to dating, and there’s no shortcut to life. Either you’re going to put in the time to learn how to be a good communicator, or you’re not. I don’t care if you’re a master at texting, if you can’t go out and meet people, what does it matter? Until they invent a way to meet people and get into a relationship via text so that you never have to look at somebody or talk to them, and all you do is bump into them and exchange information to show them what an amazing person you are, all the texting skills in the world won’t matter.

The bottom line is that if you do not spend time learning how to become a great communicator, you’re going to be alone. So put down the smart phone when you’re out and about. Stop incessantly texting people who aren’t in front of you sharing that moment with you. Take some time to connect with people who are sharing that moment with you.

I’m telling you, life is going to be far more enjoyable.

What the hell is David Wygant talking about today? Here’s what: When you just take a “ready, set, send” approach to texting, sending those words into cyberspace and onto somebody else’s phone, so many times it just comes out as gibberish.

I’ll tell you something, I’ve seen lots of peoples’ text writings, because I’ve approached a lot of guys and my friends have shared with it, and I’ve also probably, in my lifetime, done my share of text writing. But I’ve got to tell you something — it’s ridiculous. When you send something via text message, it is the most misinterpreted message out there. You’ve got to re-read it several times to figure out really what the hell is this person saying. Are they crazy? Have they lost their minds?

Cat Fights Over Texting

Be careful what you send on text. A lot of people don’t understand that. A lot of texts get misinterpreted consistently. That’s why there’s a lot of text fighting going on. E-mail’s the same way.

If you ever want to talk to somebody and really find something out, I suggest you do it verbally. Face-to-face of course is always the best, but if you can’t be face-to-face, then I do suggest you do it over the phone.

Be careful with texting though, because it will get thrown back in your face over and over and over again. Right now as I’m writing this, a friend of mine is getting a text figuring out, what the hell did his girlfriend just send him. Why is she talking such incredible gibberish?

What’s the worst text fight you’ve ever gotten involved with? I’d love to hear about it today.

Everyone knows about “drunk texting.” There you are out drinking, and all of a sudden that person you used to date or that person you slept with a few times crosses your mind. So you send them a text. You’ve got to love drunk texting.

Another funny term is “butt dialing.” How many times have you been butt-dialed by people? Butt dialing is when your phone is in your back pocket, and for some odd reason the screen doesn’t lock and you call someone from inside your back pocket by accident.

It always seems, though, that you will end up butt dialing people to whom you don’t really want to talk. Sometime you butt dial someone who called you earlier that day, and they think you are actually calling them back. You’ve got to love butt dialing.

To me, butt dialing might be the best new terminology I’ve heard in a long time. I mean, you have to be careful who you butt dial — and what your butt has to say when it calls, because you never know how talkative your butt might be feeling.

What other new terminology can we think of here? How about “pocket dialing?” That’s about the same thing as butt dialing. There is also “purse dialing,” which is also about the same thing as butt dialing — just the female version.

So what other forms of dialing can we think of to talk about here? There used to be *67 and *69. One of them called the last number that called you I think. The other blocked your number when you made a call.

Man, nowadays there are just so many different ways of dialing people. So what kind of dialing and dialing terminology do you love? Also, tell me how you know when you are on the receiving end of one of these dialing situations.

Four ways I think texting is great:

1) “See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe’s Restaurant.” It’s great for confirming things.
2) “Did you get home safely?” It’s great as a good night kiss.
3) “What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.” It’s great to reconfirm things.
4) It’s great for late at night when you lob in the “What are you doing right now …?” text. It’s a wonderful way to have verbal foreplay late at night when you’re looking to connect with a lover or a booty call.

Texting is all about short conversations. However, texting can get ugly.

Here are the seven ways that texting can get you into trouble:

1) Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is joke, and they don’t read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back.

2) Texting is NOT intended to cancel a date. If you want to see somebody again, you need to call them and change the plans. Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them or not.

3) Don’t ask someone out via text message. Women especially can’t stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I’ve spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. And they all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you’re interested, have some balls and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they prefer if you call them.

4) If you had a great date the night before, don’t text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There’s no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don’t want to look overanxious.

5) Once you’ve texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation.

6) Just because you texted them, doesn’t mean they’re going to respond. Here’s another thing about texting. You’re texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don’t respond back. They may have gotten on the phone . . . they may have fallen asleep . .. or they may have gone into a meeting. But because texting is so impersonal, you don’t know what happened to them.

7) Let’s say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and . . . now it’s Friday and they still haven’t texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask all of you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in . . . or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven’t heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. The old AT&T commercial was the best: “Reach out and touch someone.” You never know what they’re response is going to be. Most of the time you’re going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you’re going to get your answer. That’s what dating is all about . . . getting answers. Plus, you won’t drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.

There’s a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of this I just wrote will help you navigate the fun side of text dating, and help you avoid the bad side of text dating.

Texting is a great way for a little verbal foreplay to stay connected in someone’s life. It’s not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you’re hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact T-Mobile (which I use) and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!

By the way, if you really want to understand more about the does and dont’s of texting click here.

Where should we meet for Happy Hour.

Where can we get cheap drinks and even cheaper food as well as an abundance of hot women to flirt with while we pound back the drinks and get all drunk.

Something about this really does not sound fun when you see it in print!

Nothing turns a woman off more than a bunch of testosterone-laden men cruising the bars like a pack of hungry, drunk wolves searching for their next kill on a Friday or Saturday night. Does this behavior sound appealing to you?

How would you like to be a woman and feel this energy directed towards you week in and week out?

Yet I’m sure this is what you probably do with your buddies on a Friday or Saturday night. Most men and women go out in packs.

Women go out in the “bitch cliques,” and you know exactly what I mean here. There’s basically one bitch in the clique who’s the downer for the whole group, but yet women invite her along out of guilt.

See, women are emotional creatures, and they feel they need to invite “Poor Mary the Downer” along. Men go out in packs which, if you ask any woman on a street corner today if she finds drunk men with a pack mentality interesting, she’ll tell you that it is one of her biggest turn-offs. Is this fun?

If you want to seriously meet quality women, then you’re not going to meet them hanging with your drunk wolf-like friends. Women notice when you stare at them like a piece of meat.

The other night I was out with a client, and these two women walked into the lounge and immediately every horny, drunken man in the place stared at them like they were fresh roadkill. By the time they made it to the bar, they had three groups of men lay cheesy pick up lines on them.

So what did these women do after they got their drinks? They ran to a corner and turned their backs on the entire place.

So how do you meet women like this? You do it by running alone and meeting them in times they’re most vulnerable.

When are they vulnerable? All day Saturday after they’ve been attacked by the drunken, testosterone-laden wolves on a Friday night.

They are well aware that they haven’t met somebody. They’re also well aware that they haven’t had sex in awhile, or that it’s been awhile since their last relationship.

And in their minds, they want to meet that strong, confident man in a random location. So they don’t have to go out and be attacked by the wolf pack mentality.

So the next time you see a woman on a Saturday morning at a coffee shop, play the odds. The odds are she had a crappy night the night before.

So walk over and ask her how her day was. Be blunt. Get to the point. Talk to her. She’s going to be so open to your approach because of the wolf pack the night before.

It’s all about understanding how a woman thinks. Whenever I work with a client, I always tell my client that every woman that’s out on a Friday night are ours to meet all day Saturday. From the malls to the coffee shops, you get them one-on-one.

The odds are in your favor. Play the odds.

To make tonight the last night you go home alone and frustrated from a night out of chasing women, click here

It just seems like the new generation is so technology-reliant when it comes down to dating, that they don’t even understand the art of communication.

I’m going to share the email, then I’m going to tell you why I was so outraged by it. A 17 year-old kid wrote this to me:

“David,

I’m a 17 year-old guy who’s a little confused about what to do. To start off with, I was working the High School Football game with my teammates and we ran into a group of girls that one of them knew. They were pretty much drunk, and one of them started talking to me. She wasn’t wasted, but she wasn’t sober. After I got her number, then my teammates got her to make out with me. We did it a few other times.

After I got home, I texted her a little bit and she responded a few times. We had a nice little text chat. The next day, I sent her three different messages, trying to start a conversation. They were all about four hours apart. Today, asked her how her soccer tournament went. She never responded to any of them. I read on another site that some women want guys to call them, but it seems almost creepy to me, that with texting, I should outright call them up.

Anonymous”

Alright, there are several things we could comment on about this email. We could question how a 17 year-old is out at the High School game drinking and getting drunk. Let’s not be one of ‘those adults’ though. Many of us were drinking when we were 17 years old — maybe not at the football game, but probably a beer here and there at least.

Let’s also for purposes of this blog ignore the terrible grammar and the way this kid writes, because the education system in this country is a mess and we all know that. Our kids are not getting the education that they need, so they can’t even craft an email with sentences that make coherent sense.

Let’s put those couple of things aside. I want to talk about what he said in this email. I want to talk about how he thinks that calling someone up is “creepy.”

The younger generation has become so text-reliant. Actually, it’s not just the younger generation. There are a lot of people I know who are in their 20′s, 30′s — and even in their 40′s — who have become really text-reliant.

Even more specifically, so many people have become so text-reliant when it comes to dating that they don’t even call each other anymore. They don’t even ask someone out on a date in person or live on a call. They text someone to ask them out on a date.

Life is about experiencing emotions. Life is about exchanging emotions. Life is about hearing each other’s voice.

Life is about getting on the phone and learning about each other. It’s not about having short, choppy little text sentences (or more often than not text phrases) going back and forth.

We’ve become so lazy in dating that all we do now is text one another. We don’t even talk anymore. I am in my late 40′s, and I know all of you who are close to my age are probably shaking your head right now and thinking, “Bring back the good old days when we just got on the phone and called each other!”

Here’s an open message to all men reading this: Stop being lazy! If you get a woman’s phone number, call her up on the phone and talk to her. Ask her out properly. That’s what women are looking for from a man.

To the women, if a man is texting you too much then tell him flat out that he is doing that. You know how trainable we men are, so just tell a man who is over-texting to stop it. Say to him, “Call me! Let’s talk like two human beings.”

We have become so technology-based that we have forgotten the art of talking to each other. Next time you go out on a date, why don’t you just text each other the whole date. Sit across from each other with your iPhone and just text each other, because that’s all a lot of you are doing anyway.

So as I’m driving, the woman driving next to me keeps alternating between driving 20 mph and 40 mph and 20 mph and 40 mph. The reason? She is texting while she drives.

Texting and driving is such a safe thing to do. Really a brilliant idea.

All sarcasm aside, texting while driving is one of the most dangerous things to do. In the State of California, you get a $300.00 ticket if you get caught texting while driving. People still do it nonstop anyway.

Is it really that important to carry on a conversation with somebody, that you are willing to not be paying attention to the road when you’re driving? As I look in my rearview mirror, I see that woman who is texting in the car next to me is now about 400 yards behind me because she still hasn’t noticed that a traffic light turned green.

Not only is she not paying attention, but there is a whole clump of cars trying to get around her since she is still stopped at the green light. All of this she is causing because she feels compelled to text while she is driving.

What she is doing, to me, is really rude. Driving is about getting from one place to another, and is not about holding up all the people behind you trying to do.

I don’t care if you have a hot date or are carrying on some hot sexting conversation or talking to a friend of yours. Texting is not really a conversation anyway. Get an earpiece and talk to them live on a call if you absolutely have to talk to someone while you’re driving.

I’m all about manners. I really am. I am also all about being very aware of other people around me.

You will never see me holding up a checkout line in a supermarket because I didn’t bother to start writing out a check until after all the groceries had been scanned. You’ll never see me not having already swiped by credit card by the time all the groceries are scanned, so that I can get out of there quickly. Life is about being very aware of other people that are around you, yet so many people act like the world is theirs.

Even putting aside the manners aspect of texting and driving, there is a major safety issue with texting and driving. You can’t possibly be totally aware of what the car in front of you is doing when you’re looking down and typing on your phone.

What if a dog crosses the street in front of your car? What if the car in front of you stops abruptly? You will not be able to stop.

People who text and drive always think this will never happen to them. They always think that it only happens to other people.

Wake up everyone! It’s dangerous out there on the road. So pay full attention and stop being so self-absorbed. We live in such a self-absorbed society.

I coach people all the time to be very self-aware, because I truly believe that if you are not that you are going to miss all kinds of opportunities to meet people. The people who text and drive, and the people who don’t start writing their check until after all the groceries are scanned, are all not being self-aware.

I bet those are the people who have trouble meeting people. There are great people to meet every day, but it takes being self-aware and realizing that you are not the only person on the planet to be able to meet them.

By the way, I wrote this blog while I was driving — but I didn’t type it into my phone. I have a Bluetooth. No, not one of those Spock ear looking things that make you look like you hail from another planet, but an actual phone I sync up with my car so I can sit and talk while I’m driving.

Of course, people driving by me look at me like I’m a crazy person since it looks like I’m talking out loud to no one. At least the people who are looking at me are aware of other people around them though.

To learn how to text and get a woman to do ANYTHING via texting, please visit my Guy’s Guide To Texting.

If you’re somebody who sits by your computer answering every email as soon as it comes in and you think you’re being proficient by doing so, you’re wrong. You’re actually not being proficient, because what is really happening is that you are allowing yourself to be at the beck and call of all the noise coming into your inbox.

Every single time you hear a beep signaling a new message has arrived in your inbox, do you know what that is? It’s an intrusion.

It’s basically somebody saying, “Answer me right now!” It’s almost like a two year-old throwing a temper tantrum in a supermarket. If you give into that temper tantrum, you made the biggest mistake in the entire world.

You don’t give the little tyrant a Popsicle, when it’s not time for a Popsicle. You reward the Popsicle when it is time for the Popsicle. Answering that email is basically rewarding somebody for intruding on your life.

If you’re in the middle of doing something and you get an email, it’s called noise. So when you’re going out and meeting people, your friends being with you out there are also noise.

All of a sudden you go and see a woman you’re attracted to and you want to talk to her. If you engage in conversation with your friend about it, your friend is going to be noise. “Ah, man, you can’t approach her right now. It doesn’t look like she wants to talk.” Noise. Negativity and noise.

You’re most efficient when you are by yourself. So when you decide to go out and practice meeting people to work on your social life, it should be like going on a date with yourself.

The most important thing to do is to be by yourself, go out there, and not have anybody judge you. Friends are noise, just like that annoying text or email that comes in.

Why do we have to answer our texts and our emails right away? We don’t.

We also don’t need to drag somebody along when we’re going out trying to meet somebody. So when you guys go out and meet people, do it alone.