What the hell is David Wygant talking about today? Here’s what: When you just take a “ready, set, send” approach to texting, sending those words into cyberspace and onto somebody else’s phone, so many times it just comes out as gibberish.

I’ll tell you something, I’ve seen lots of peoples’ text writings, because I’ve approached a lot of guys and my friends have shared with it, and I’ve also probably, in my lifetime, done my share of text writing. But I’ve got to tell you something — it’s ridiculous. When you send something via text message, it is the most misinterpreted message out there. You’ve got to re-read it several times to figure out really what the hell is this person saying. Are they crazy? Have they lost their minds?

Cat Fights Over Texting

Be careful what you send on text. A lot of people don’t understand that. A lot of texts get misinterpreted consistently. That’s why there’s a lot of text fighting going on. E-mail’s the same way.

If you ever want to talk to somebody and really find something out, I suggest you do it verbally. Face-to-face of course is always the best, but if you can’t be face-to-face, then I do suggest you do it over the phone.

Be careful with texting though, because it will get thrown back in your face over and over and over again. Right now as I’m writing this, a friend of mine is getting a text figuring out, what the hell did his girlfriend just send him. Why is she talking such incredible gibberish?

What’s the worst text fight you’ve ever gotten involved with? I’d love to hear about it today.

You always have to wait for your friends to go with you before you can do anything you want to do. How many of you do that?

How many of you have that mentality of always waiting for your friends to join you? How many of you live alone with no roommates, and you basically don’t have anyone to run with? How many of you work late all the time because you really just don’t know what else to do with yourself?

This is what I tell everybody, and this is what I do myself. You have to start dating yourself. In order to be able to go and meet somebody, you’ve got to start dating yourself.

So here are some things I used to do all the time. I would take myself out to dinner. Instead of going to Whole Foods and bringing dinner home, I’d go there and sit at one of their tables and eat. There are going to be other people there doing the exact same thing you are.

Instead of renting movies from Netflix when I wanted to see a new movie, I made sure that I went to the video store so I had an opportunity to meet somebody. Instead of making tea (since I don’t drink coffee) at home, I’d go to a coffee shop and sit there to drink my tea. I’d bring a newspaper, hang out and just talk to people there.

You have to start dating yourself. You really do.

You’ve got to start doing things with yourself. You’ve got to start enjoying yourself.

It’s almost like a new form of masturbation. You have to go out there. You have to entertain yourself. You have to go and do things on a consistent basis, because nobody else is going to bring the people to you.

What happens when you are always waiting for your friends to do things, is that you have all sorts of pressure because you’re always waiting for them. You finally get your friends to go out on Friday night, so you put all this pressure on that Friday night as your one opportunity to meet people.

So spend a few days a week dating yourself. Ask yourself out. Call yourself up. Send yourself a text. Send yourself a text and say, “Hey you, what do you want to do tonight?” Then text yourself right back and say, “I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?” Then text yourself again and say, “How about dinner at Whole Foods tonight, or why don’t we we go to that great little place up the street and have dinner at the bar?”

Go out and start communicating with people. The point is to build up your social network. When you go out and do all this, don’t just go out and wait for the most beautiful person to arrive before you’ll talk to anyone. Talk to everybody.

What happens when you do that is that you start to build up that social network. You will start to communicate with people all the time — men, women, kids, dogs, older people, younger people, everyone.

Then a month later, you’ll run into the woman you talked to at Whole Foods one night. You may not have been attracted to her, but you chatted with her a bit. You had a great conversation over Whole Foods dinner. You may run into that woman when she is with six of her friends, and you will immediately (and without any pressure) have an “in” into that group of women.

Even though you weren’t attracted to her, she was still a nice person to hang out with at the time. And now that you did that, when you see her now with her friends, you can walk right over to her and say, “Oh my God, it’s my dinner partner from Whole Foods a few weeks ago!”

So you’re building yourself a network that way which takes off some of the pressure. Instead of always having to do these cold approaches 24/7, it takes off that pressure and enables you to go and start building up a social network.

This is what I did, and this is how I know so many people. No matter where I go, I know people. If I fly to London tomorrow, I can call ten people for dinner and they’ll bring ten new people along. If I go to Wisconsin tomorrow, I’ve got a group of people I can hang out with. It’s called being a friendly person, dating yourself and meeting other people.

He’s a little version of me . . . literally. I’m 6’2″ and he’s 5’7″. He’s almost like my adopted son. He’s an amazing, loving and honest person, but like any child he can also drive me crazy.

One way that Jacob drives me crazy is that he doesn’t understand what following up is. Follow-up is the key to life.

Now Jacob knows how to follow up with women, but sometimes when I give him work tasks he will follow up on his own schedule. He’s fine with me writing this blog, by the way, because he’s always contributing – in the blog, being there for all you guys, and he is always about self-growth. He will always admit both his strong points and his weak points.

Follow-up is the key to anybody being very successful in life. This is not just about dating either.

Granted, if you get a phone number from a woman you need to follow up with her. If you’re the least bit interested, you should follow up right away. I always say that you should give someone a call within 24 hours.

Call them (or call them back) and rephrase something you talked about with them that interested you. That way the conversation feels like a never-ending conversation. Things will flow really easily.

A lot of guys will get a phone number and they’ll wait two weeks to call that woman. Then when they do call, the woman will wonder why it took him so long to call. Even if you say that you were traveling or give some other reason, the woman will no longer be interested.

By not calling for two weeks, you just look like another ass. You look like a guy who is playing games and didn’t make her a priority.

Every woman wants to feel like a priority. I don’t care if it’s the first time you go out with her or the hundredth time you go out with her, every woman wants to feel special.

Follow-up is the key in dating and in every other part of life. If you are in sales and you get a sales lead on which you don’t follow up right away, you are never going to make that sale.

Someone calls you at your office and it takes you four days to follow up with them. In this day and age, there are so many different ways to communicate – you have emails, texts, and cell phones. So you don’t even have to be home or at your office to send someone a message.

If you can’t call someone right away, how hard is it to just send somebody a quick email saying “I’m busy for the next day or two, but I really look forward to speaking with you after that. Have a great few days!”

It’s all about following up. All successful people understand that follow-up is one of the things that made them successful.

You want to be successful at dating?  You better learn how to follow up.  If you want to be successful in business, you better really learn how to follow up.

So many people put things off. Those are the people who wake up every New Year’s Day wondering why they aren’t making enough money or aren’t successful in their dating life. They are the ones who write down the same New Year’s resolutions year after year.

If you really want to succeed with life — with women, in business, or in anything else — you need to learn to follow up. If you’re poor at following up, put a “to do” list together every single day. As you do each thing on the list, cross it out.

At the end of the day, look at your “to do” list and transfer all the items that aren’t scratched out on a new piece of paper as your next day’s “to do” list. Every time that you think of something you need to do, write it down right away so you don’t forget.

Say you’re busy doing three or four things and all of a sudden you remember that you need to call Joe. Since you are in the middle of another task, just write down “Call Joe” on your list and that way you will remember to do it after you’re finished.

Another reason to make this list for yourself each day, is that writing everything down gives you a way to prioritize. You can put older tasks on the top and newer ones on the bottom, or maybe you put the most important things on the top of the list. The important thing is that you re-look at your “to do” list every single day.

When I was dating a lot, I would write down every woman that I met. I would write down what they were about, who they were and when I called them (or was going to call them).

I would write all that down automatically — “Met Jane at Whole Foods. Call her Tuesday.” Then I would write things I learned about them like, “Called Jane and met her yesterday. She was cool, liked ….”

I would do this because I know in life we get really busy, and then all of a sudden you’ve forgotten to call a great woman because time got away from you. If you do call her after three or four days have gone by, she’s going to look at it as you being rude.

So get a yellow pad, start writing things down and get that “to do” list together! Review your “to do” list several times a day, and make sure you remain focused and on track.

All of you can thank Coach Jacob for this great blog. I wrote it, but he made me feel it.

Click here to listen to me talk all about my personal tricks to how to become successful in every part of your life — and how to create a roadmap on how to get there.

Anyway, there was something interesting I was thinking about the other day. I was thinking about how all of us have three hands. We have two hands with which we are born, and a third hand called a cell phone that we purchase from T-Mobile, Sprint, AT&T or Verizon.

Sometimes that third hand really ruins conversations and connection with other people. It also causes that really annoying feeling you get when you’re hanging out with someone and they are constantly responding to their phone.

In life, we don’t always need to get back to people right away. Go back ten or fifteen years when we had cell phones with unlimited minutes and which didn’t have email capabilities. Back then, you weren’t able to return an email or check your voicemail every minute of the day.

Do you remember the days when we weren’t texting people in restaurants, and we actually paid attention to the person across the table from us? Remember when we didn’t feel the need to immediately get back to the person on the other end of a text?

Do you remember the days when we used to have an office, and we used to check and return messages just while we were there? We didn’t feel the need to get back to someone at 10:00 pm on a Friday.

We need to disconnect from our cell phones just a little bit, because it’s starting to kill intimacy between between people. It’s starting to kill moments.

I personally find it really offensive when I am out with someone, and they look at and respond to messages on their cell phone. It makes me think, “What about me? I’m here. My time is definitely worth something. Why can’t you give me the time that I need right now? Why do I need to watch you get back to somebody?”

We’ve become a society that has to answer people right away for no reason at all. Pay attention to the person in front of you. The other person will just have to wait like the good old days for an answer.

Her: “Really? What were you thinking about?”

You: “Last night. The Conversation that we had was really incredible.”

Her: “I was thinking the same thing. What was your favorite part?”

And there you have it. You have started a very intriguing text conversation in the middle of the day.

There is, however, a problem with texting. People misuse it as a substitute for conversation.

Guys will get a phone number from a woman, and what do they so often do wrong? Ah, you will need to listen to today’s podcast to find out.

Today’s podcast is all about the art of texting. It is just a quick primer on texting “do’s and don’ts,” and about how to properly use texting when it comes to dating. I find a lot of people misuse and overuse texting.

You don’t want to be a texter your entire life, because good communication involves a lot of other things besides texting. See you all on the podcast!

Click here to listen now:

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

Think you know what to say in your text messages that turn women on (and what REALLY turns them off)? CLICK HERE to find out what women secretly want you to say. . .

Eagles and the Chargers in the Super Bowl.

Client: So are you opposed to the idea of the first contact being through texting?

David: Yeah.

Client: Sometimes I feel like on the phone I can’t ever get my rap together. And nowadays, no one ever answers their phone!

Khiem: David’s a bit different from me. I don’t mind a quick text once in a while. I don’t mind the first contact to be via text but there needs to be a phone call very quickly after that.

David: I do like texting. Khiem, you just like to talk on the phone longer than I do. The other day Khiem got on the phone at 5:30 and rumor has it he wasn’t off of it until 11:30 or 12:00! When he wants to have a phone conversation, you might as well make plans for yourself for lunch, dinner, and a snack! It will be a while!

Khiem: With the girl that I’m seeing, I made a rule that I wasn’t going to talk to her every day. So then every time we talk, she wants more. I try to give her enough to last her a couple of days. I don’t want to talk to her every day!

Client: When you’re seeing somebody, how much do you think that they want to hear from you?

Khiem: I set a rule about what I want. Do you remember how I said earlier that you should make sure that you tell people how much you expect from them? Let them know what you want so that they know what to expect from you.

I tell women up front that I like my independence and that calling every day is too much for me. I tell her that I want her to grow and have her own life. I don’t like clingy girls, and I tell women that straight up. If you like clingy girls, that’s cool, but that’s not who I am, and I won’t do it.

And because I’ve laid that out to her, she accepts it. You have to tell them up front. For me, we can talk every two or three days – no more than that.

Client: But when you do talk to her, you have meaningful conversations, right?

Khiem: Oh yeah, it’s always meaningful, and many times it’s arousing as well. Not every phone call would include dirty talk, but many of them do.

Client: Do you think that there are special considerations when you are dating younger women?

David: How young are they? (laughter)

Client: Not like students, I’d say around 30. That’s the absolute youngest I would ever go.

Khiem: You have to understand their world.

David: Yeah.

Khiem: Try to understand their world, because each woman at different ages has different expectations in life. Based on their expectations and lifestyle, you can work from that angle.

You don’t want to try to accommodate yourself entirely to her. But if you’re dating a woman who is a lawyer or does something corporate, then you know that she has a busy schedule. You know that you have to set up a date at least three or four days in advance – if not a week.

But if you know that she’s more active and spontaneous, you can call her more often and be more spur-of-the-moment with your dates. That’s how you tailor your communication style to the woman that you are interested in.

At a younger age, she has a higher level of distractions. Women in their twenties have a high level of distractions, particularly around 23, 24, 25.

Client: 23 is like insane.

David: At 23, it’s like a Labrador Retriever on the beach! “Should I play? Should I sniff ass? Should I go? Should I get the ball? Oh my god, nobody wants to play with me? I’m going to go lie down and look sad for 20 minutes.”

Khiem: Yeah, at 28 you start to get settled. 28-year-olds still haven’t fully matured yet, but around that age they start to settle down. But again, what is she doing? What kind of life does she live? Is she working? Is she still in party-mode?

You can meet women in their thirties that are still in party-mode.

David: Oh yeah!

Khiem: But you can also meet 24-year-olds who are out of that, done with partying and looking for something more.

David: Let’s take it a bit deeper. I speak to all women in the same way, because I know that I attract a certain type of woman. I’m very careful about who I attract into my life. I like a certain type of woman.

Sometimes someone might slip through the cracks – because the sex is great or whatever. There are certain women you’ll put up with more shit from because you’re just in the mood for that type of sexual relationship or something.

But most of the time, if you like a certain type of woman, you’re used to dealing with that type of woman. Maybe you don’t like the hard, ball-busting, lawyer type of woman, so you avoid them. Maybe you prefer the creative types – or whatever it might be. You’re used to that type of woman, and that’s what you attract.

But I always tell a guy that if you’re looking for a woman a lot younger than you, you’re going to encounter a whole other language.

Client 1: I feel like on some of these online dating sites, the girls my age are always looking for men aged 28 to 45. What does that mean?

Client 2: What’s wrong with that? What site is that again? (laughter)

Client 1: But what does that really mean? Does that mean that they just want someone that is mature and confident?

Khiem: Probably. Usually what they mean by older is not so much age, but someone who is comfortable with themself.

A lot of younger girls who are looking for older men are tired of the guys their age who have no clue. They are looking for a guy who is really secure in his own identity. He might be established as well, but that’s usually coming from the maturity of being secure in yourself. Generally that’s what they mean when they are looking for older guys.

Client 1: Okay, I just didn’t know if I should take it at literal value, like, okay they are just looking for someone that is older.

David: It means that they are pretty much open. They are looking for somebody who knows himself. They are tired of meeting man-boys. They’ve dated them. They are sick and tired of guys that are indecisive.

But they don’t really realize that the older guys are often just as indecisive! We have more life experience to share with them, which they like, but age doesn’t necessarily mean you’re secure with yourself.

It’s amazing how many people I call, and the first thing I learn about them is their phone number recited by a computerized woman’s voice. Do you realize that your first “meeting” with and introduction to someone might be via your voicemail message?

You may thereafter hand somebody a business card with the intention of introducing yourself to them for business purposes, but their first impression of you will remain hearing “You have reached 310-555-1212 . . . ” Do you know what type of first impression that makes? None.

The other terrible thing about this ever-so-sexy computerized voice reciting a phone number as your voicemail message, is that as the caller you sometimes think you may have dialed the wrong number because there is no way to know whose voicemail you’ve reached (since today we don’t usually memorize everyone’s phone number). So you don’t leave a message. Thus, even though we know we dialed 312-555-1212, we might have hit the wrong button and we didn’t memorize it.

I don’t care whether it’s your business or your personal voicemail, you need to leave a warm personally recorded message so people who hear it can get an idea of your personality. For example, I’ve been using basically the same voicemail message for years. In mine, I say:

“Hey, it’s David. Great to hear from you. Looking forward to speaking with you, but I can’t get to the phone right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I get into the office. Take care, and make it a great day!”

Your voicemail message should at a minimum be something that’s strong. I have excitement in my voice in my message.

I want people to be excited to talk to me. I want people to be interested in talking to me. I want them to know that I’m a warm person.

It’s amazing how lazy most people have become. This is a problem that is equally prevalent in men as it is in women.

There is no reason you should have a computerized voicemail message at work. It’s unprofessional in every way. Let people know about who you are.

If you’re dating, then having a computerized voicemail message is simply ridiculous. If I call a woman and get the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” voicemail, then I wonder if I was handed a wrong phone number and very often I will not want to leave a message.

Why should I leave a message in that situation? I don’t know whose phone I’ve reached. I don’t know if I’ve reached Amy, Lisa … or some weird 90-year old guy in prison somewhere who just likes to listen to voicemail messages.

So when you record your voicemail message, make it warm and friendly – but don’t make it stupid. I can’t tell you how many times I have called someone and, after hearing their dog barking in the background, their message in their cutest tone of voice says “Fred says ‘leave a message!’ Ha Ha Ha …” That is really annoying.

Also, what about when you call up a family home and after the voicemail begins “You’ve reached the Wilsons ….” you hear each child in turn yell their own name like “Timmy! Amy! Joe!” followed by the dog barking after being introduced. How cute … if you’re a part of that family.

How about the people who put an excerpt of a tv show or song as part of their voicemail message? Like that makes sense. Why in order to leave someone a message am I being forced to endure 30 seconds of a tv show that I don’t watch?

It’s time we all grew up. It’s time we all stopped being lazy. It’s time we all recorded a personal voicemail message.

So for all of you who have the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” message on your voicemail, it’s time you decided to say “hi.” As for me, I’ll end this blog by saying “This is David . . . and welcome to my voicemail!”

Going further into voice. Do you know how to create powerful emotions with the tone of your voice.
Todays video explores that and more!

I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”

Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.

It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are.

For instance, if someone is in his or her late forties, they always write, “I’m 48, but I’m a young 48. I don’t look like I’m 48.” Nobody thinks that they look like their age. You either look good for your age, or you don’t.

I’m 46 years old, and I look good for my age. I know people who are my age that don’t – and they admit it. Some of us look good for our age, and some of us don’t. It’s the way life is. The way we are depends on the way we take care of ourselves – our exercise routines, our genes, everything.

So stop building yourself up on your profile. Let the reader make a decision based on your photo about if you look good for your age. When you build yourself up like this, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you say, “I really look great for my age,” and somebody upon seeing your photo disagrees, then you will take it as a personal insult.

Profiles are just fantasy – and often nothing more. People write whatever they want to write. They don’t tell you the truth! If someone is slightly overweight, they aren’t going to tell you that in their profile! They will give you this beautiful picture of who they are.

We’re people, and we all have our faults. We all have flaws. And the only way to find that out is to go out and meet people. If you took the amount of time you spend online dating and actually went out into the real world to talk to people, you wouldn’t go back to spending so much time with online dating.

You can’t make one thing your only resource. You need to do what I call the ’20-20-20-20-20 rule.’ 20% of your life can be online dating, 20% can be meeting men or women in supermarkets, 20% can be meeting them in coffee shops, 20% can be parties… whatever it is.

You have to diversify your portfolio – your dating and people meeting portfolio. If this year, all you invested in was the S & P 500, you’d be down about 20% in the stock market right now.

If you bought real estate in 2005 thinking the market would get better, you’d be down about 40% – 80% right now, depending on the market that you’re in. Life is all about diversification.

The next time that you are angry with the internet, or angry with people in their online dating profiles, ask yourself: are you diversified in the way you meet people? If you’re not, you are never going to meet anybody.

So get out there and diversify!

Today lets spend our Sunday talking about nice guys.

Are you a nice guy that always seems to be in the friend zone.

Todays podcast will open your eyes to say the least.

Click here to download…

Have a great Sunday.

Hope everyone is having an amazing weekend.

We are in the middle of a great bootcamp.

Yesterday we went to Malibu and everyone had a task at hand.
To have fun like a kid and overcome all fears of approaching women.

It was a huge success and the task was something you would have never imagined.

I will post some of it this week on you tube so stay tuned…..you will be shocked at what we did.

Today we are heading to the Santa Monica Farmers market as well as Venice beach. Till tomorrow.

Today I want to share with everyone a great question I got from someone in an email. I’m sure this kind of stuff is applicable to many of you who are talking on the internet, so let’s talk about this right now.

Client: Hi David. First of all, I’d like to take a second to kiss your ass for opening a whole new world to me. Basically, your Men’s Mastery Series and blogs are amazing, but I’m sure you already know this, so on with my question.

Last I was IMing a girl that I met through a friend and eventually started talking to through MySpace. It was the second time I have talked to her through AIM and I was planning on getting her number so I could ask her out over the phone (as you recommend.)

As we were talking about boring things, she put me in the position to compliment her. Don’t get me wrong: I love to compliment someone when it is deserved, but it was just so blatantly obvious. I felt like I was giving all of my power away.

Here is one example of our conversation:
Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?
Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.
Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

So now the nice guy inside wants me to say, “because I really enjoy talking to you,” but that just feels too clingy. Plus, I’m not sure if she still views me just as a friend or as someone she is actually interested in. So I just ended up saying, “nah.”

How would you have handled the situation?

David: Tim, I agree with you: it’s best to give compliments when they are deserved. However, in the example you sent me, it looks like you are the one who really put yourself in that situation.

Don’t worry so much about whether or not you give your power away (just don’t do it constantly), but focus more on keeping the vibe fun, playful and exciting. That’s the real art of flirting.

So in your situation, there are multiple ways you could have handled it. You could:
1. Call her out on it
2. Ignore it and give a very open-ended/vague and neutral answer – basically circling around the pot – this creates some form of intrigue
3. Give her an answer that makes her want to know more – using curiosity/intrigue
4. Give her a “conditional compliment”

So here’s how your situation could have played out:

Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?

Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.

Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

Me:
1. Hmmmm… I think someone is fishing for a compliment here… :p :p :p
2. [yes, just give a smiley face. Do not answer... and let her ask another question]
3. Well, I don’t know what it is… but… there’s something about this girl that makes me want to talk to her more. [you give her the compliment but you keep it vague to keep your power]
4. Because for a lawyer [insert whatever stereotype she is], she’s pretty fun [insert the opposite quality expected from the stereotype]
I hope these suggestions help you. As you can see, you are just vibing based on what she tells you. Your “nice guy” response would be fine as well as long as you come from a position of power and self-respect. The woman can tell from the OVERALL conversation if you are you just trying to please her or if you truly mean what you tell her.
That’s more important that the exact response you give to the woman fishing for compliments. There’s nothing wrong with giving free compliments once in a while – you just can’t come from the wrong place.
Contact me again if you have any more questions. If you want me to go deeper with something, we can set up some form of phone or email coaching.
Have a great weekend!

If you have any questions at all please send them my way and I will use them in newsletters in the future.

I really enjoying hearing from all of you!

Todays Video is all about how to connect with a woman from the moment you first meet her.

In this video my friend Lexi goes over this in detail.