So, you’re dating a woman now whose only sexual experiences have been with men that are pump and dumpers. For those of you who don’t know what a pump and dumper is: it’s what I call ‘minutemen.’

Not the minutemen from the Revolutionary War.. They get in, they thrust their hips, they pump a few times, and then they dump all their little men: all their little sea-men to swim all over the place.

A lot of women who are young (and some unfortunately that are older) have only been with pump and dumpers and they have no idea of how unbelievably amazing sex can be with an attentive, sexually aware man. They don’t know sex with a man that has been reading these blogs – a man that really knows that sex and foreplay start right inside a woman’s mind.

So let’s say you’ve done it all right. You’ve started with sex and foreplay, and you’ve seduced her mind and you have her all turned on. How do you encourage this woman – who is basically very submissive in bed due to the fact that all of her experience is with Mr. Pump and Dump?

The reason why she is submissive, much of the time, is that she has never explored her own sexuality. A lot of women that have had pump and dumpers don’t know what they want sexually, and they are usually women that have never masturbated. They don’t know what feels good and what doesn’t. Their only experience is with Mr. P & D.

For those of you who think he is related to P & G, you’re absolutely incorrect. Pump and Dump is not Proctor & Gamble – though I heard that Proctor & Gamble makes their products for pump and dumpers. But it’s just a rumor that I heard!

Anyway, how do you encourage this woman to open up to her own sexuality?

First of all, this woman may or may not have ever had an orgasm before. I would assume that she never has. She thinks she might be having an orgasm – it might be a momentary wave – but she is not having a full-blown orgasm.

If you ask her if she’s had an orgasm, and she says, “I think so” – there is no “I think so” when it comes down to orgasms. Either you’ve had one or you haven’t! If a woman will tell you that she thinks she had an orgasm, it means that she has probably only experienced a little wave of pleasure and not a full orgasmic experience. Ladies, please chime in here and describe what a full orgasmic experience feels like so all the men know.

So let’s assume that she’s never had an orgasm. You’ve got to become the teacher in this relationship. She is probably the type of woman that just expects you to do whatever you want to do, and she’ll just lie there submissively.

So you need to show her slowly how amazing sex is. I would take some extra time and give her a full body massage. I would spend extra time kissing her and just touching her, everywhere except in her breast and her groin area.

I would take extra time when I go down on her and not only lick her, but to also touch all parts of her body also at the same time. I would also slip one finger inside as I was licking her in order to give her a different experience.

I wouldn’t ask her if she is coming. I would just continually do all the things that I know bring pleasure to a woman, and I would ask her, “how does that feel for you? Are you enjoying this? How do you like the pressure? I want to please you and I want to make you feel amazing.” Don’t say, “I want to give you an orgasm.” Don’t tell her you want her to scream and yell. Just say, “I want to make you feel wonderful. Okay?”

And take your time. Allow her to open up and allow her to see sex in an entirely different light. Don’t expect the magical orgasm right away. Don’t expect her to open up immediately. Your only job is to show her – through a soothing, relaxing, attentive sexual session – just how great sex can be.

Another way to do it, too, is when you’re having sex with her, is to do the opposite of what the pump and dumpers have done. Hold her really close to you so she can feel the tightness and feel the sensuality of sex, and then grind in very slowly as you pull her close to you. That way your pubic bone is actually massaging her clit at the same time. By doing that and staying deep inside her, you’re going to give her feelings that she has not had before and you’re going to get her to open up. You may actually get her to start having a clitoral orgasm that way, in time.

You are also going to show her a different side of sex, going to show her the sensuality of sex so that she can feel protected, warm, and nurtured during the experience.

Right now, all she feels is used. All she feels is that guys want to get inside, get off, and leave. So you’ve got to deal with the fact that she was with Mr. P & D. You’ve got to be tender and warm, and you’ve got to put absolutely no pressure on her at all.

By following these simple steps, you’re going to make her feel really comfortable, and you’re going to be able to get her to explore herself even more. She’ll surrender herself to you, in time, but you need to be very patient – because the other guys, the Mr. P & Ds, were not patient. It’s your turn to be patient now.

What does love mean to you? What is the definition of love? What do you feel like when you’re in love? What I’m really asking here is what is real love?

You know, it’s funny. Love has so many different angles, different sides and different feelings attached to it. There are also different kinds of love. There is romantic love and there is fantasy love.

To me, love is finding somebody with whom you just connect and with whom you are at total peace in every single way. Being at peace with someone in every single way happens in all different little ways.

It is holding hands with them as you walk down the street while still keeping your full identity.

It is sitting next to them on the airplane looking at them and watching them laugh, and realizing that their laughter really makes you smile.

It is watching them fall asleep and enjoying how they look curled up in a little ball on the bed all comfortable and warm.

It means protecting them when things aren’t good.

It is loving how their eyes light up when you do special things for them, like buying them a pair of earrings at a farmer’s market.

Love is about sharing yourself and about giving yourself freely to someone. Love is about really embracing the gift that somebody gives you.

Sometimes we’re not ready for that gift of love. Sometimes we’re not capable of giving back.

The moment you realize you love somebody, is the moment when you feel peace when you look at them and when you see yourself in them. It’s really nice to get to know somebody in every way and respect them.

There is no “one perfect person” in this world for anybody. There is no perfect relationship out there.

So if you find someone to whom you can truly relate, someone who really makes your heart go “thump thump,” and someone whom you think is the most beautiful person in the world to you every time you see them walk into a room, then that is the person with whom you should be spending the rest of your time. That is the person with whom you need to build a life.

Love has its ups and downs. Sometimes love may falter and then come back even stronger. Sometimes love loses faith in order to regain it stronger down the road.

What love is entirely without is judgment. You will never judge your lover for a journey they needed to take. You will never judge your lover for things that they need to do.

You just embrace your lover. You will always listen to your lover, because to truly love somebody is to understand where they’re at in their life, what they need to do, and how they need certain experiences.

When you find someone you truly love, things may not go in textbook order or work out according to plan. It may not work out at all for a period of time. If you realize you love someone, though, you better do everything in your power to make sure you never lose that person.

There is nothing worse than seeing someone you love walking down the street arm-in-arm with somebody else, and realizing that you lost that person because you let your ego or your stubbornness get in the way. That thought alone will drive you crazy forever and ever.

When you love somebody, you better embrace them before you lose them. What eventually happens in life if you someone and you’re not with them, is that they will find someone else to love them. So you better take hold of that love before it’s too late.

I thought I’d go a different route with all of you today, because the definition of love means so many different things to different people. So now I want to hear from you. What’s your definition of love? How do you feel when you’re in love? What type of love do you want to experience?

David: So here I am, sitting here, and talking to a good friend of mine who has never appeared on the blog but is an avid reader and really wanted to share her thoughts with all the men and women. Today she really wanted to help the guys out on the blog, and we’re going to talk about the art of seduction, using hot oil massage and foot massage. She’ll give you her step-by-step way of turning a woman on, just by hanging out with her and watching TV. All women need to pay attention to this as well…you can use this seduction on the men.

So let me ask you a question. You’re sitting, watching a movie with a guy, and the guy wants to seduce you. What would be the best way – instead of him just grabbing you – to seduce you when you’re watching television?

Jessica: I would say that a good place to start would be to slowly massage me, starting with my hands or the back of my neck, my head, or my feet – if you touch my feet, you’re in for sure!

David: So should the guy get some foot lotions and other things to like rub you during the movie?

Jessica: Absolutely! If he did that, I would feel like a princess, I would feel pampered; I am a sucker for massage. If you massage me long enough, you’re definitely getting some action!

David: And how long – a lot of guys don’t know how long they need to massage a woman. A lot of guys do the obligatory five-minute massage and that’s it. How long do you think is good?

Jessica: At least 35 minutes!

David: So would you say that during the whole movie it would be good to kind of massage your feet, maybe massage your legs, maybe massage your hands?

Jessica: Yeah! If you start off with some nice small caressing, and then say, “I would like to give you a massage, do you want one?” of course I’m going to say yes!

David: So they’ve given you a massage while you’re watching the TV, and now the movie is over. Now it’s time to take it to the bedroom. How would you describe the perfect way to continue this to keep you in the mood you’ve been in during the movie?

Jessica: Saying something like, “hey, this was just a warm up massage, I’ll give you the real thing, with massage oil or lotion,” in fact, David has told me about this great candle that he uses when he has a special guest.

David: The candle is called Jimmy Jane. Go to www.jimmyjane.com and check it out. It is a candle that comes in six different fragrances, and all of the fragrances are very sexual in nature.

Jessica: That sounds amazing if we were not sitting in this coffee shop right now i would jump you:)

David: Thanks and I always wondered what it would be like if you jumped me:) Ok…back to the candles here. They’re all very sexual and sensual in nature. There is a spout on the candle so you can actually pour the hot oil and wax all over your lover’s body. You light the candle, and then pour the oil on them, but the oil is not really hot when it touches them…

Jessica: Wow that is super hot. I once had a guy drip hot wax all over my body.

David: How did it make you feel?

Jessica: Hot! It’s really sexy, and sexual, and it very much put me in the mood. It was great because the fragrance of that candle that he used was very strong and it definitely helps arouse your senses – I’m getting aroused right now just thinking about it!

David: I think you were born aroused!! So you love when there’s a lot of hot oil, a lot of touching, and a lot of rubbing?

Jessica: YES!

David: You like the constant attention…

So let’s say the guy is massaging you – this is something that a lot of men don’t understand – many men will perform oral sex but they don’t really understand how to do the right kind of oral sex. It’s not just the way you lick! Share with the guys what they need to be doing with their hands in order to get a woman to climax really strong.

Jessica: You need to start off by stroking our legs at the same time, and I like it when the guy looks up at me. I also like it when… well, I don’t know what else to call it besides human vibrator! When a guy, like, hums? What would you call it?

David: You mean like vibrate your mouth?

Jessica: Yes, vibrate your mouth – that’s exactly what I’m trying to say. When a guy vibrates his mouth on me – that feels really good. And then you should slowly take one of your fingers and put it inside of me. Then give it a little bit more pressure, and do it a little bit deeper and move it around inside a bit more, to try to touch my walls and find my G-spot. That’s really hot.

David: And so let me ask you a question – there’s one hand inside, and the way the tongue is moving the other hand should be using those oils, and massaging what? Where should they be rubbing?

Jessica: All over! My inner thigh, my stomach, my hips, my breasts, my neck – and stop every once in awhile and talk to me, too. Keep using your finger, but you can talk and tell me how good I taste, and how turned on you are, and how much you want me – all of that good stuff!

David: So if a guy does all that, how much harder are you going to cum, and how much more are you going to desire him?

Jessica: Both, very much more so! I’m going to cum super-hard, and first of all, I’m going to pull you over and return the favor! I’m also going to want to come back for more… and more and more!

David: So for a guy to get really good head from a woman, he should pay attention to all of these little things. If he does this with every woman he’s with, he should be getting some amazing head, shouldn’t he?

Jessica: Absolutely. And you know, what goes around comes around – literally!

David: I agree, and I have to tell you, a lot of guys think that they’re doing it right just by licking her clit, but there are definitely different pressures you can use to lick her clit. A lot of women like things differently, as well – there are some women that love hard pressure at the top, there are some women who love it super hard and fast towards the end.

Jessica: I like it when am man tells me to spread my lips for them and hold them too.

David: Yeah that’s very erotic. Tell me why you think that’s so erotic, so men can learn.

Jessica: Well, I’ve only had one man tell me that! I think it’s naughty. I like to be bossed around, maybe not everyone would, but I do, and it’s all in the way a man says it. It really makes me feel like i am with a strong powerful man. I am not talking being mean or anything, but strong erotic talk and telling me what to do sexually is super super hot!

David: So you like being bossed around?

Jessica: Yes!

To learn more about what women really want in bed you need to check out my Girls Tell All Series Secrets Of Sex. Click here to find out even more about what they desire.

Todays video is all about how to become a master at the sly smile. Did you know that this sly smile worked on a very famous actress that I met the other day. She may have been Paris Hilton or she may have been Kate Hudson.

But only I know who she was and the smile and conversation was a trip….this works on all women whether a famous celebrity or the girl next door!