There’s a couple of different ways to meet people on the beach. One of the best ways to do so – and you can do this on the lake too – the only place you can’t do this is at a pool.

So if someone is sitting there on a blanket, of course, you sit down next to him or her. You put your blanket down next to theirs, and you do the old, “oh man, I forgot my sunscreen. Can I borrow some?” This is always a great way to open up somebody.

Another good way to do it is to bring some Frisbees, balls, and other things, and have a Frisbee toss with your buddy. Of course, let the Frisbee fall onto their blanket – or near their blanket, don’t hit them on the head or anything! But let it fall directly near their blanket, and then look at them and say, “oh man, my buddy has a bad arm. Could you do me a favor and whip it back at him?”

Get them engaged in the game. People come to the beach to have a good time, so get them engaged in the game.

Another thing to do, which I love, is go down in the water and put your toes in the water. Of course the water will be a little on the chilly side in the beginning of the summer, and if a woman walks up to the tip of the water, you look at her and say, “alright, I’ll race you in! Winner buys the lemonade. Ready? One, two, three,” and make it a game. Start running in a little bit and look at her, and if she hasn’t started running, turn back and say, “aw, come on, what are you, chicken?”

Play a game. Be like a little kid going to the beach. “What are you, chicken? Come on, I dare you. Let’s go. I’ll give you a head start.” Have some fun with it. You race them into the water; you have a little bit of fun.

One of my favorite things to do at the beach is go to the store and buy a bucket full of little kid stuff. Buy a shovel, a rake, buy some animal figures to create sand monsters; buy different sized buckets to create sand castles. Go to the edge of the water, pour all of your toys out, and start building a sand castle.

You want to see people gravitate over to you? Give each person a task. The minute a woman looks at you, you say, “alright, fine, you’re going to be the Block Girl.” “Alright, fine, you work the rake.” “You build the moat.” It’s about having fun. Everything is about really having fun and doing something different.

Another way I really like to meet people at the beach is by going to a store that has really fun beach towels. Maybe they have a Spongebob beach towel, or a Smurfs beach towel, or whatever it is. Get the biggest, funniest beach towel you can possibly have. Get two of them, actually, and spread them out on the beach, and use them as your towel.

Now you have something to talk about. A woman walks by, and she looks at you and says, “Spongebob, man, what are you? Ten years old?” You can say, “it’s the beach, come on! It’s about having fun and being a child again!” It’s just about lightening up. It’s the summertime, and you can just have a good time.

Another thing you can do is bring a cooler full of water, and you can basically have extra water for people. So when some one walks by you, you can offer them some water. They look in your cooler, and you can say, “hey do you want a bottle of water? I’ll give it to you for a buck. I’ll charge you a buck for that!”

It’s about having fun. Everything is about being different; everything is about having fun. Everything is about being unique. So stop being so uptight and have a good time at the beach!

Do you know what the definition of an amazing day is?

An amazing day is when you wake up past your alarm, which I did this morning.

It was an amazing morning because I woke up next to the woman that I love and then took Daphne for a walk on the beach. I am going to head back to the beach and do some cardio then off to buy a new beach cruiser bike.
What else am i going to do.

I have some errands to run and then tonight I am taking my girl to her favorite place to eat.

Its a Saturday and I am going to appreciate and enjoy every moment. I am going to engage people and enjoy conversations with strangers. I am going to ignore the blackberry and be 100% present where am it each step of the way.

It’s all about taking every single moment and appreciating it.

That’s the definition of a beautiful day: being able to appreciate every little thing around you. Appreciating every visual stimulus around you – from beautiful women to great friends to amazing trees, the ocean, everything! It’s about really taking it all in.

When you’re out there in your world, do you really take it all in? Do you take in every little bit of every single day? Do you really appreciate it and stay present in the moment?

You knew there was a lesson in this blog somewhere and the lesson is this: go out there and take in every little thing.

Count the stars in the sky. Look at the trees on the street. Take a look at the water that is around you. Look at the color of the sky. Look at everything that is around you.

Become observant in everything in your life. The more observant you become, the more that you’ll have to talk to people about. The more you can talk to people, the stronger your connections with them will be and the less time you will be stuck in your head.

Todays video is all about how to look your best on your amazing days.

I’ve been on a journey for the last couple years learning about self-love. Self-love is one of the most important things you can ever have, because you will never be able to truly love someone else until you learn to truly love yourself.

The reason this is true, is because until you learn to truly love yourself there will always be a wall up around you. There will always be something the prevents you from giving yourself freely to someone else.

A lot of us give of ourselves freely to our animals. Some of us become crazy cat people, while others become crazy dog people. A lot of us can give freely of ourselves to our children.

Many of us have trouble giving freely of ourselves to another adult of the opposite sex, however, because we are so caught up in protecting our emotions. Until you are able to give yourself freely to somebody, though, you will never experience love.

You actually may be able to experience some depth of love, but you’ll never experience powerful love. We all deserve to experience powerful love.

The personal journey of self-love I’ve been on has been unbelievable. What is most unbelievable about it, however, is that it all stemmed from a “Brady Bunch Greg Brady falling off my surfboard in Hawaii” moment.

I think there is an actual mark on the surfboard showing where I fell. I was truly channeling Greg Brady and his Hawaiian surfing episode: I went down in the reef, I had the tiki idol necklace around my neck, Marsha and Cindy were yelling from the beach . . . Ok, maybe not that last part. In all seriousness, though, something did happen to me in Hawaii.

Hawaii is a very spiritual place. When I was surfing in Hawaii this past summer staring at a waterfall, I noticed that if you lined up the surfboard correctly you’d be surfing directly into the waterfall and the mountains.

There is a lot of energy in Hawaii, both spiritual and emotional energy. For reasons unknown, although probably because I was trying to show off to people on the beach, I decided while surfing to jump off my board into the shallow water . . . and ever since that day my hip has been aching.

Once I went deeper into it, I realized that I was on an emotional journey to have and experience the most incredible love I ever wanted: the love of myself. I realized that until I was able to do that, I would not be able to meet and experience someone amazing.

The “I Want More” blog I wrote was all about the feelings and emotions you have for someone that are so amazing that you just constantly desire more. A man named Joe (Mr. “DarkEnergy” himself in fact) posted a comment to that blog asking me how you can tell the difference between the feeling I described in the blog and a simple “crush.”

My answer to Joe was that you want to have a crush . . . just a crush that lasts forever. That’s the magic of love. The magic of love is having a crush that lasts forever and ever, but also knowing and being able to do the necessary work to nurture that relationship to allow it to go the distance.

I want a crush that lasts forever. I want to look at someone and always think they’re the most beautiful person in the world. I want every kiss to be magical.

The only way to make that happen and to make a crush last forever, though, is to be totally conscious about the other person. You need to find someone who is effortless to be with and with whom doing the right this is easy.

The only way to make a relationship like this last is to have both of you want to make it last. You both must recognize the gifts. You both also must recognize your relationship to be comprised of two souls which connect on a deep level. Most importantly, you must have done enough work on yourself to realize that such a connection doesn’t happen every single day.

You may still have more work to do on yourself, but we all need to be working on ourselves every day. If you do and you have already found a crush, the great thing is that you have the other person to support you, accept you and embrace you for everything you are working on about yourself.

Granted, every relationship has a honeymoon phase, but I’ve seen couples who are still “ga-ga” about each other after seven or eight years. They may no longer be having sex seven days a week, but when they make love it’s still absolutely amazing. It is still so amazing because they are still making love to someone on whom they have a crush, someone with whom they’ve created a level of comfort where they know each other on every level and have given every part of themselves to each other.

So all of you should be looking to have a crush on someone, the kind of crush that lasts forever. The only way to make a crush last forever, though, is to first have a crush on yourself. Start getting a kick out of yourself. Start enjoying yourself.

More importantly, get on the same page as someone else’s soul, and let your souls connect. When two souls are connecting, you are going to have a crush . . . and a crush far greater than the kind you had at age sixteen.

Over the age of thirty, you truly know that when you find this it is a gift being presented to you that doesn’t happen every day. You are emotionally mature enough to embrace it and have fun with it.

For all of you who don’t believe in the magic of a crush, you are missing out on something. For those of you who still want to find someone on whom you have this “forever” kind of a crush, the only way to start is to first have a crush on yourself. Remember that nobody can have a crush on you unless you love yourself.

You know, I was just on the phone with a client of mine and we had an interesting conversation about how to deal with assholes. There is no other way to put it, right?

My client wanted to figure out how to get a particular asshole (“Mr. Asshole”) to like him. No matter how nice my client was to him, Mr. Asshole still acted like an asshole. That is, Mr. Asshole was still confrontational and disagreeable about almost everything. I told my client that an asshole is one because there is always shit coming out of their mouth.

There is no reason to befriend everybody. If you are nice to someone and they are an asshole to you or are just plain old rude to you, then you have done nothing to them to warrant their behavior. You’ve been nice, self-aware, non-confrontational, and you haven’t challenged them. You’ve killed them with kindness. Yet they still choose to be an asshole.

So what’s the point? You need to understand and accept the fact that you can’t make everybody like you and respond favorably to you.

The way I look at it is if someone is being an asshole, it’s really your ego that doesn’t like it. Your ego may not like that you can’t succeed in getting this person to think the way that you are thinking. Your ego may not like that you can’t get this person to respond favorably to you.

It’s also your ego that doesn’t allow you to just walk away from someone like this. If I have to deal with an asshole, then I will kill them with kindness during the one or two obligatory minutes I must spend talking to them. When I then walk away, I will just mutter “asshole” under my breath and walk away . . . because I just don’t care.

I don’t really care if somebody doesn’t like me or doesn’t respond favorably to me. All I care about is that I treat everyone with respect, kindness and integrity. That is the kind of person I am.

So if you are dealing with an asshole, you need to remember that it’s just your ego that is affected by them. Then drop the ego, and just walk away.

You know, it’s funny. Let me share with you a perfect story about needing to drop the ego. When I was recently in Hawaii, I surfed for four days. On three of those days I kicked ass – I got up on the board, I surfed and I had a great time.

I was there with my ex, Alison. She just started surfing not too long ago, but she’s already good at it. She’s one of those naturals. So on surfing day number four, I knew I felt a little stiff. I do yoga on a regular basis, so I went into a lot of yoga poses to try and unlock my body and get rid of some of the stiffness I was feeling.

I was still stiff after I did that though, and my intuition and my gut told me to just go out in the water and swim. Because I used to be a competitive swimmer as a kid and used to be a lifeguard, I should have just had a great time swimming the day away in the Pacific Ocean . . . but of course my ego wouldn’t allow that.

My ego made me get up on that surfboard because I wanted to surf one more day and because I wanted to prove that I could do a good job at it four days. So, what happened? My lower back jammed on my left hand side, and I spent the last couple days rehabilitating it.

By the time I post this blog, my back will be fine. The question is: Will I learn from my experience? That is, the next time will I trust my instincts and honor my body, or will I allow my ego to rule once again?

The analysis is no different when it comes down to dealing with assholes. You have to trust yourself. You have to be open, and you have to drop that ego. The more you keep that ego, the more hurt you will experience. So remember that not everyone is going to like you and you can’t catch every wave.

Todays video is all about how to find great single people online. Match.com would never want you to know what I am about to share.

I recently spent a week in Hawaii, and while I was there I learned how to surf for the very first time. Now I’ve got to tell you that Wygant on water, ice or snow tends to be comical and is a sight to see. If you’ve ever seen me tumble down a mountain or sporting ice skates or roller blades, then you know why.

So when I got to Hawaii and Alison suggested that we go surfing, my first thought was “no way,” but I told her “Sure, whatever, I’ll go with you” because I am a trooper . . . and because my ego wouldn’t allow me not to go. So when we get there, I don’t expect be able to get up at all. Now, I’ve normally never had trouble ‘getting it up’ in life, but in this situation I did not expect to get up.

Our surfing instructor, Ron, was a really cool guy and he began to explain everything. I’ll provide a link to his website for any of you who make it to Hawaii one day. As Ron was talking to us, I was in another world thinking “There’s no way I am going to be able to get up on that surfboard. It’s not going to happen.”

Not only that, but I had to overcome my fear of Bruce, the electronic shark in Jaws . . . and weren’t these the same waters where that 14 year-old surfer girl recently had her arm bitten off by a shark? Look, I’ve had a fear of sharks ever since I saw the movie Jaws. I was 13 years-old when Jaws came out, and that was just one of those growing up movies that impact you a lot.

Meanwhile, Ron continued on the sand to teach us how to surf. He showed us how to get up. He showed us how to get down. He taught us everything we needed to know to go out there in the water and do it.

So I got on my board in the water and was going through waves thinking “Damn, man, I am not going to be able to do this. I’m going to get my ass kicked in surfing.” Then something interesting happened.

I get on a wave, stand on one knee, put one leg up, and all of a sudden I think to myself “I am going to get up on this board!” Then I rode it in just like that. A couple of rides later, I stood up and I took the entire wave from start to finish.

It felt amazing to be able to see the mountains that were all around, to be able to see the beautiful Hawaiian sky, to be able to smell the water, and to be able to see the crystal clear water all around me. I was addicted at that moment.

What does this story of my first surfing adventure have to do with dating – or with why you should date like a surfer? Well, surfing is a lot like dating.

In surfing as in dating, there are a lot of ups and there are a lot of downs. There are some times you catch that perfect wave as your board starts inching into the water, then the next thing you know you’re tumbling all over the place having no idea when you’re going to be able to get back up again or how you’re going to feel.

Surfing is just like dating because every time you get your ass kicked by a wave and tumble in the water, you have got to get right back up on that board and try again. You have got to do that in surfing, because you never know when that next wave is going to come that is going to take you all the way into the shore and make you feel victorious.

You have got to do this in dating, because you never know when the next person you run into in the supermarket or the coffee shop is going to be that person with whom you create magic. It’s amazing that dating (and life) are just like surfing.

I surfed for four days while I was in Hawaii. I had a great time. I went out there and kept trying. On some days I was able to get up more than I wiped out. On some days I was able to surf better than I was on others.

On my very last ride of the trip, I jumped off the board in a weird way and jammed by back. It was as I hobbled my way back onto the plane that I realized that surfing and dating are no different.

In surfing there will be some days you’re going to ride the wave and feel great, while on other days you won’t. In dating there will be some days you’re going to meet some great people and think great things about a possible connection with someone, while on other days you’re going to realize things aren’t going to work out with someone and that you have to start all over again.

What you need to realize is that every day and every wave give you a chance to start anew. When you get on a surfboard, you never think about the previous wave or your last wipeout. All you think about is getting up on that board on THIS wave. You take in the beautiful Hawaiian mountains or focus on the waterfall in the mountains above you. Then all you do is look straight ahead, crouch down, get on that board and ride that wave into shore.

You need to have that same mindset about every date you go on and about every relationship you have. You should never thing about past dates. Don’t think about past disappointments. Treat each date as you would treat a new wave. Every wave is different and gives you an opportunity to start anew. Similarly, everyone you date is different, and you can start anew every single day. That is really amazing when you think about it.

To Ron, I want to say thanks for a wonderful time surfing in Hawaii. You were a great instructor! For anyone who wants to visit my friend Ron in Hawaii, here is his website. http://www.kauaisurflessons.net/index.html Aloha.

For those of you that want to see my surfing skills……enjoy.

Today is my birthday. For those of you who don’t know, July 1st was the day I sprung out of my mother’s belly. The sad thing about this, though, was that it took me eighteen years to get back to that warm feeling all over again.

It’s amazing, because ever since I left my Mom’s belly I’ve thought “Boy, it’s nice in there. I can’t wait to get back in!” I was a poor tortured virgin throughout my entire high school career, and was not allowed back in until the ripe old age of eighteen in college.

This blog, however, is not about losing my virginity. This blog is about my birthday. For those who have not yet sent a present, you know what I like. If, on the other hand, you don’t know what I like then I’d suggest that you use your creativity because at this stage of my life I don’t expect presents from anybody.

I’m not big into birthdays, and I’m not big into presents . . . even though my intern Rey bought me the coolest present in the world: a Labrador Retriever mug that has a snout as the handle. So I was holding onto Daphne at all times when I was drinking my tea.

Anyone who has hung out in my office or in my house knows that I tend to drink a lot of tea. No, I’m not British – I just l don’t like coffee. Plus, it’s herbal tea and I’m a Californian. This blog is also not about tea or thanking Rey for the great present (which I already did).

This blog is about how you should celebrate your birthday. I’m celebrating my birthday by going to Hawaii. When I get on the airplane to Hawaii in a few hours, I am going to enjoy a fantastic birthday dinner. The dinner will be unbelievable (I’m going to bring a box of food from Whole Foods). I may even indulge — I may actually allow the flight attendant to get me a drink of water (as I usually bring my own).

What I will spend most of my time on this flight doing, though, is reflecting about how amazing the past year has been. You see, your birthday is not about getting presents or getting drunk. Your birthday is about celebrating life.

Your birthday is about celebrating everything in your life that’s amazing. It’s about celebrating the past year of your life and seeing how much you’ve grown. It’s about reflecting. It’s about embracing all the friendships you’ve had. It’s about appreciating everything. It’s about spoiling the one person you need to spoil every day – yourself.

So that’s why I’m taking myself to Hawaii for my birthday. I am going to sit on a beautiful beach for the next six days relaxing and reading . . . and I am going to celebrate what an amazing year it’s been. Who knows, I might even try surfing. I will definitely do yoga and eat great food.

I’m going to celebrate what to me has been one of the best years of my life, because getting older means embracing your life every single day. Although I don’t expect presents for my birthday, I am going to think about how many gifts I’ve been given this past year.

I have been gifted this year with so many great clients with whom I’ve gotten to work and with all of you readers of my blog. I have been gifted with all the fantastic people who work for me and with me to help to build up a great business.

So this year on my birthday, I’m embracing all of the great things that have happened to me over the past year. My only birthday wish is that I will continue to make every day better than the last day.