Do you lose a little more of life’s spark each day,

Or are you igniting that flame with passion each morning?

In life, you’re either growing (living) or you’re regressing (dying)––there is no standing still.

And it’s your choice.

I spent some time going through my Facebook messages this morning––something I rarely do. (Yes, friends, you’d be more successful reaching me through email.)

I received a message that literally stopped me in my tracks.

I read it over and over again.

I want to share it with you:

It’s messages like these that really remind me of why I do this.

And it made me think about life.

I thought long and hard and I realized that this person is just like all of us.

We hide from emotional pain.  We think that emotional pain is too painful to even experience and we close down. We shut out the outside world, or we shut down our inside world to protect against annihilation.

And sometimes we take it the extreme…

A lot of you find it very painful to approach women.  You try it once and you don’t like the way it feels so you don’t try it again.

You don’t like the feeling of rejection so you shut down and don’t do it ever and then you stay exactly where you are in life.

When you do that you don’t grow.

No pain, no gain.

Without pain you aren’t going to gain and this is true for every aspect of your life.

If you want to get better with women, you’ve got to go through the pain.  You’ve got to go through the rejections.  You’ve got to work the numbers.  You’ve got to go out and talk.  You’ve got to learn how to be a great communicator.  You’ve got to do the work.

It’s not just going to magically change you by reading these words or listening to an audio program. You must actually go out there like a gladiator ready for a fight to the death, and you battle.

You have to be a superhero for yourself. You have to go out and save your own life.

You’re not battling the women either––no. You’re battling your own fear, and your goal is to destroy him each time.

You want to lose weight––it’s painful.  You’ve got to stop eating the bread and drinking the beer and doing the things you normally do.

You want to gain some more muscle—you’ve got to go through the pain of lifting weights and feeling sore the next day.  In life, if you don’t feel the pain, you don’t feel the gain.

Think about the pain you endured going to school to get that degree or the pain that you went through training for your job. It may have been difficult but you gained wisdom, and you’re gaining a sweet paycheck every week.

Are you ready to feel the pain necessary to gain beautiful, sexy, hot desirable women in your life? Are you ready to create the lifestyle that you’ve been wanting for so long now?

Save yourself.

Get out there and work.

No pain no gain, guys.

I had a friend who died of a heart attack who, supposedly, hadn’t been to see a doctor for years. I knew someone else who died of cancer after ignoring a lump for months.

What is it with men and doctors? Do we think nothing will ever happen to us if we don’t go to a doctor?

My own brother didn’t have health insurance, and he is close to 40 years old. I don’t get it.

I mean, I am someone who goes to the doctor every year. I get a physical. I get a complete blood panel done. I make sure I’m okay.

It’s called preventative medicine for a reason. How do you know if there is anything wrong with you unless you go? Many times, things can be caught early enough so that you don’t have any major problems.

Look, nobody likes a finger up their ass, or likes a tube up their ass to get their colon checked. Nobody likes a lot of the things that doctors do, but it’s by going to the doctor that you can prevent really bad things happening to you.

Now don’t mistake what I’m saying. I am totally holistic. I take my herbs. I do a lot of preventative things on my own, but not because I am thinking I am going to get something.

I do that because our health and our bodies are all we have. It’s unbelievable how many men don’t get that until they hit 40.

So many men spend their entire 20s and 30s thinking they don’t need to go to a doctor. Women, on the other hand, undergo having their feet in stirrups as they get scraped and prodded.

Men are not Superman. Guys that I know who have had health problems over the last year – they all tought they were Superman too. They never thought anything bad could happen to them.

So if you are one of these guys, ask yourself why you do this. If you’re a guy and this blog resonates with you, then get your ass to the doctor and get some blood work done.

Virtually everything can be prevented. This is an open letter not for the people I know who have been diagnosed with something after not going to the doctor soon enough, but for those people reading this who think they are Superman.

You are not Superman. Get your ass to the doctor. Get your yearly physical.

Get health insurance if you don’t have it. If you cannot afford health insurance, eliminate from your life what you need to in order for you to be able to afford it.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you’re Superman. Take care of yourself!

Are you one of those profile liars? Oops, I didn’t mean to call you a profile liar so quickly . . . but are you one of those people who write an online profile based on everything you want to be instead of who you actually are?

That is a really bad thing to do. When you do that, you will meet people who are really excited to meet your fantasy version of yourself instead of the real you. You might as well call yourself Superman or Supergirl.

Are you somebody whose Internet persona is 40 pounds lighter, because you want to meet someone and you believe that once you meet people you can convince them that you’re on magical diet that’s going to instantly get rid of 40 pounds off your body? Are you a 46 year old woman who puts that she is 38 years old on her online profile because you believe that men your age won’t want to date you?

Are you one of those men who puts that he is 37 years old (when you are really 47 years old) because you’re stuck on wanting to date 20 year old girls who don’t particularly want to date you? What should you do? Date some women who are in great shape and in your age group!

Also, why don’t you take better care of yourself so that maybe you’ll attract the kind of woman you want? It’s amazing how many men I’ve interviewed who say that they only want to date women who are in great shape, but they themselves have not hit a gym in about ten years.

You get who you are in life. If I didn’t work out, and I was flabby and overweight, I wouldn’t expect my girlfriend to be in great shape because that is not who I would be. Life is a mirror.

If you want someone in great shape, then get yourself in great shape. Want someone who is well-read? Read. If you want someone who wants to travel the world with you, then find someone else who travels.

Life works that way, and it works that way on the Internet as well as in real life. It’s amazing, though, how many men will criticize women’s bodies when their own body looks like it hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 20 years. If you work out, you will get a person who works out.  

You get who you are because it’s all about common interests.  I could never be with someone who doesn’t take care of themselves because I would think they were lazy. I can’t be around lazy people because they annoy me.

Then again, if I was with someone who worked out ten times a day, that would also drive me up the wall. I cannot be with the female version of Lance Armstrong. I don’t want to go on a 75-mile bike ride on a Sunday.  Maybe a seven and a half mile ride, but 75 miles is not my idea of fun.

The Internet gives you an opportunity to really describe who you are, so stop trying to find the fantasy version of you and start dealing with the reality version of you.  Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your accomplishments . . . just don’t list them all in the first five lines of your profile.

Be careful what you put out there when you’re dating online. If you’re not having good luck dating online, the reason very well might be that you are misrepresenting yourself. If you are then, really, you are not going to get what you want.

Liars never seem to get what they want in life. They always get exposed.

If you want to learn how to master online dating, how to write an amazing online profile, and how to find and ATTRACT the women you most want (and STOP attracting them women you don’t want to meet), then be sure to check out my Men’s “Secrets Of Online Dating” product.