A lot of us had parents, even if it was only one—but could you consider your parent a mentor?

As a man, even at my age, I understand the importance of mentorship. Men especially need strong male role models.

When I was a kid, my dad was a horrible mentor.  I actually used to call him my anti-role model.  I used to tell everybody, “When I grow up, I want to be the exact opposite of my father.”

As men, we need strong mentors from the beginning.  Moms should never mentor us, but our dads should fill that role.

But the problem is, most men that I know have come from homes where their dad wasn’t a great mentor—and these men actually had their fathers around! Nowadays, most marriages end in divorce, and for some socioeconomic groups, the father is never there to begin with.

When a man is not mentored at a young age, he’s constantly searching for guidance throughout his adulthood, and this neediness, this desire to be led doesn’t translate well when dealing with women.

And that’s why men that do not have strong male role models in their life growing up often have trouble with women later in life.

A mentor actually gives you the confidence that you need. A mentor can teach you things about women based on their own successes and failures. A mentor can accelerate the learning curve, and keep you from making some silly mistakes early on.

My dad was not that guy. He was no mentor.

His dating advice went something like this:

“Hey Dad, I like this girl, man, she’s really pretty.”

“Son, don’t look at your feet.”

That’s it.  That was my dad’s advice. It’s a wonder my mother was even with him in the first place. (I guess he was able to look her in the eye when all the other men were busy looking at their feet.)

Through sheer will and determination, I was able to undo a lot of my early programming and finally have success with women. I had to overcome shyness and fear, but the David Wygant underneath all of that finally came through. I learned to express myself.

Now I’ve been coaching for over 14 years and people look at me as a mentor. It’s quite surreal to see young men listen eagerly for my advice, and run off into the world using what I’ve taught them.

I feel like Archie Manning, watching his sons win Superbowl after Superbowl, even though his father never had time to play catch with him.

I just appreciate the large circles in life—you never see where the line is going until it circles back. And then you realize how complete everything is, or how complete it’s becoming.

I never had a mentor in my life, but perhaps it was just to show me the importance of having one, and to make sure that I respect the responsibility of being one now.

He’s a little version of me . . . literally. I’m 6’2″ and he’s 5’7″. He’s almost like my adopted son. He’s an amazing, loving and honest person, but like any child he can also drive me crazy.

One way that Jacob drives me crazy is that he doesn’t understand what following up is. Follow-up is the key to life.

Now Jacob knows how to follow up with women, but sometimes when I give him work tasks he will follow up on his own schedule. He’s fine with me writing this blog, by the way, because he’s always contributing – in the blog, being there for all you guys, and he is always about self-growth. He will always admit both his strong points and his weak points.

Follow-up is the key to anybody being very successful in life. This is not just about dating either.

Granted, if you get a phone number from a woman you need to follow up with her. If you’re the least bit interested, you should follow up right away. I always say that you should give someone a call within 24 hours.

Call them (or call them back) and rephrase something you talked about with them that interested you. That way the conversation feels like a never-ending conversation. Things will flow really easily.

A lot of guys will get a phone number and they’ll wait two weeks to call that woman. Then when they do call, the woman will wonder why it took him so long to call. Even if you say that you were traveling or give some other reason, the woman will no longer be interested.

By not calling for two weeks, you just look like another ass. You look like a guy who is playing games and didn’t make her a priority.

Every woman wants to feel like a priority. I don’t care if it’s the first time you go out with her or the hundredth time you go out with her, every woman wants to feel special.

Follow-up is the key in dating and in every other part of life. If you are in sales and you get a sales lead on which you don’t follow up right away, you are never going to make that sale.

Someone calls you at your office and it takes you four days to follow up with them. In this day and age, there are so many different ways to communicate – you have emails, texts, and cell phones. So you don’t even have to be home or at your office to send someone a message.

If you can’t call someone right away, how hard is it to just send somebody a quick email saying “I’m busy for the next day or two, but I really look forward to speaking with you after that. Have a great few days!”

It’s all about following up. All successful people understand that follow-up is one of the things that made them successful.

You want to be successful at dating?  You better learn how to follow up.  If you want to be successful in business, you better really learn how to follow up.

So many people put things off. Those are the people who wake up every New Year’s Day wondering why they aren’t making enough money or aren’t successful in their dating life. They are the ones who write down the same New Year’s resolutions year after year.

If you really want to succeed with life — with women, in business, or in anything else — you need to learn to follow up. If you’re poor at following up, put a “to do” list together every single day. As you do each thing on the list, cross it out.

At the end of the day, look at your “to do” list and transfer all the items that aren’t scratched out on a new piece of paper as your next day’s “to do” list. Every time that you think of something you need to do, write it down right away so you don’t forget.

Say you’re busy doing three or four things and all of a sudden you remember that you need to call Joe. Since you are in the middle of another task, just write down “Call Joe” on your list and that way you will remember to do it after you’re finished.

Another reason to make this list for yourself each day, is that writing everything down gives you a way to prioritize. You can put older tasks on the top and newer ones on the bottom, or maybe you put the most important things on the top of the list. The important thing is that you re-look at your “to do” list every single day.

When I was dating a lot, I would write down every woman that I met. I would write down what they were about, who they were and when I called them (or was going to call them).

I would write all that down automatically — “Met Jane at Whole Foods. Call her Tuesday.” Then I would write things I learned about them like, “Called Jane and met her yesterday. She was cool, liked ….”

I would do this because I know in life we get really busy, and then all of a sudden you’ve forgotten to call a great woman because time got away from you. If you do call her after three or four days have gone by, she’s going to look at it as you being rude.

So get a yellow pad, start writing things down and get that “to do” list together! Review your “to do” list several times a day, and make sure you remain focused and on track.

All of you can thank Coach Jacob for this great blog. I wrote it, but he made me feel it.

Click here to listen to me talk all about my personal tricks to how to become successful in every part of your life — and how to create a roadmap on how to get there.

When you say you are going to do something, do you actually follow through and do it? When you say you’re going to meet somebody, do you actually meet them at the time you stated you were going to meet them? When you’re going to do a favor for somebody, do you do that favor or does the person have to ask you to do it over and over again?

Living life with integrity means actually committing to the things you say and to the actions that you promise. Nothing irritates me more than when someone tells me they are going to do something, and then I have to hound them to get it done.

It’s annoying to have to ask someone five or six times before they will do what they said they would do. This is especially true in professional or business situation.

In business, if you have to ask someone somebody five or six times to do something, then it means that person is really not a good worker and doesn’t take pride in their work. Even in a personal setting, you should never have to ask a friend to something several times before they will do it. The same thing is true in a relationship.

Become somebody who commits to your word, and other people with really respect you so much more. Even more importantly, be a person of your word so that you can respect yourself.

It’s amazing, though, how many people will email me and this will be the sum total of their message: “I saw a woman on the street I want to meet and I don’t know what to do. I always think I’ll be able to talk to her, but I’m so afraid approaching women. I feel like a total loser. I don’t really know what to do. Help me, you’re my last chance.”

That’s it. No salutation at the beginning of the email — No “Dear David” or “Hey David” or even “Hi.” They’ll just go right into what they want from me right off the bat.

Also, there will be no name or salutation at the end of the email. It’s amazing how many people out there have no social grace whatsoever. None, zero.

I mean, you’re asking me a question, but you can’t even say hello at the beginning of the message or thank you – let alone identify yourself by name? It actually doesn’t surprise me, because there are so many people out there who who don’t understand the importance — and don’t have the confidence — to say their own name.

I recently did a seminar, at which I stood outside the room and greeted everyone as they came in the room. I did this because I wanted to see how many people would actually stop and introduce themselves to me. While many said “Hi” or “Hey David,” virtually no one introduced themselves by name.

Your name is important. You need to be confident and proud of who you are. Don’t give your power away to anybody else.

Don’t ever send an email to someone without addressing the other person by their first name, and without signing your name at the end. Based on the number of people I see who don’t do either of these things, it almost seems like an epidemic.

For a while, I did a Q&A day on the blog in which I would answer questions from readers in the blog. Do you know that almost no one who sent me questions (or whose question I answered) ever said thank you? I was taking time out to help people, and there was almost no appreciation from anyone. It kind of blows me away.

Becoming good socially can start with things as simple as your email and voicemail messages. On your voicemail message, use your name. Say something like, “Hey, this is David. Thanks for calling . . .”

It is important for all of you to realize that first impressions are everything. If you don’t introduce yourself properly or don’t write an email properly, then that is the first impression you are giving to others about you, your confidence and your social grace.

I don’t always wear a watch and I barely look at the clock, but yet I get everything done that I need to each day. I don’t work eight hours a day either. I work less than that.

All of you see the amount of stuff that comes up on my site — videos, blogs, coaching and so forth. People sometimes ask me if I work 24/7, but the truth is that I don’t.

I’m just really good at managing my time. When I sit down at my desk to work, I sit down at my desk to work. I do not answer texts from friends. I don’t answer phone calls from friends during the day. I don’t answer emails from friends during the day. When I was single, I didn’t get on online dating sites and work on my dating life during the day.

When I sit down at my desk to work, I work. No disturbances.

I also put together a “to do” list with everything I need to get accomplished that day, and I get rid of everything on that list by the end of the day. When a work email or IM comes in, I answer it right away so it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. If a customer emails me, I email them back right away if they have a question about a product or coaching.

If they send me a question and want free dating advice, I don’t answer that. I have coaching programs on my website. So to all the people who keep emailing me wanting free dating advice, I suggest you check out the 3 email coaching package I have for $99.00. Grab that and you will have my undivided attention.

Time management is really important, and so many people are so bad at it. They start a task, and then they get distracted — they turn on the television or the radio — and the next thing you know, the task isn’t getting done.

When I’m working I am working. Do not bother me or disturb me, and I’ll get everything done.

Sometimes I write thirty blogs in an hour. Crazy, isn’t it? I get it done, though, because I’m laser focused. When I’m creative, I don’t let anybody bother me.

So the next time your friends text you in the middle of the day or some girl wants to hook up later that night just tell her, “Look, I’m working right now. I’ll see you later. Looking forward to it!”

Stay laser focused in work and you will be successful in your career. True entrepreneurs are laser focused, and they don’t let anything disturb them and keep them from getting everything done. That’s what good time management is all about.

You think to yourself, “Do they just smoke pot all day long?” In California, pot is just about legal so the answer might be yes.

There are just some people who don’t take any pride in their job. They are what I call “perpetually out of it.” You always feel like they’re off in another world.

I’m somebody who takes real pride in their work. I try to remember everything that I do, and everything that I say. When I don’t, I apologize for it. If I forget to answer an email, I’ll apologize and say “Can you please send me that again so I can help you.”

There are some people, however, who just don’t take any pride in their job. They don’t like their job. They don’t enjoy their job. They think their job is beneath them, so they don’t do the best job they possibly can.

Something that I learned a long time ago, is that you have to do the best job possible no matter what job you’re doing. The only way to succeed in life is to do everything 100% and put your whole effort into everything you do.

By doing a great job in whatever you do, you’re going to succeed in life. You’re going to move forward in life. You’re also finally going to learn how to really connect with everyone else, because you’re going to be 100% present in everything you do.

The definition of life is a mellow time followed by constant chaos followed by a mellow time followed by constant chaos. When do you learn the most in life?

Do you learn the most in life during the mellow times when things are really easy and simple, or do you learn the most when you’re in chaos? True survivors and true winners in life embrace the chaos and learn from it. Granted, we all react differently during chaos.

I know that I initially go very “glass is half empty” during chaos. The minute chaos hits, I’m thinking about everything that can go wrong during that chaos. I need to process the negative before I can get positive.

Once I process the negative things and I realize how ridiculous they are, then I go right to positive. I start thinking about what the experience is actually going to be, how it’s going to change me and how it’s going to change my life for the better.

There are people I know who are positive right away. That’s wonderful. We all process things the way we need to process things.

It’s the strong who survive during the chaotic times. Chaos just sucks.

You start the year off with a great job and some money in the bank. The next thing you know, you get fired and end up broke. You freak out.

I’ve been there. I remember back in my 20′s being fired from a bartending job. I had to hit the pavement for eight weeks — four hours a day in the ice cold — before I found a new job.

Only the strong push themselves through and survive chaos. How you react to things is your own issue, but don’t ever bring people down when you react.

You need to process things in your own way. It’s perfectly all right to process things in your own way.

We all grow during tough times. The ones who don’t grow during tough times are the ones who never really learn, and never really enjoy the true beauty in life.

Anyone can succeed when things are easy. It’s only the strong who survive when the shit hits the fan.

Now, granted, being multiorgasmic might feel the best. Being able to multitask, however, is something all of us try to do. A lot of people aren’t very good at it.

How many times have you been on the phone with someone, and you can hear them typing in the background. You say “I just chopped off my balls the other day,” to which they respond “Uh-huh.” You know at that point they aren’t really listening to you.

You say to them, “Are you doing something else?” They will always answer, “Yes, but I’m hearing every word you say. I’m multitasking.” You will think, “Really?! I just told you I my balls got cut off and all you said was ‘uh-huh’.”

I always say that the only way to be successful — whether it’s at meeting women or in business or whatever — is to focus on something 110% until it’s completed.

Here is how you can tell whether you are able to multitask. Are you someone who has twelve things on your “to do” list at the beginning of the day and still have eleven things on it at the end of the day because everything is halfway finished? If that is the case, then you are not good at multitasking.

When I go and I talk to people, especially when I coach guys about dating, I always tell them to get good at one thing at a time. Get good at one kind of approach or skill and master it. Then once you’ve mastered that, learn another skill to add to your repertoire.

Everyone always wants to multitask. The reality, however, is that most of us aren’t good at it yet.

Learn how to do one thing right at a time. Once you can do several thing great, then you think about multitasking.

You can thank Coach Jacob for this wonderful blog, because every time he tries to multitask I tell him to focus on one thing at a time. Learn to do that, and you’ll be far more powerful in everything you do.

Everybody wants to be the boss. Everybody wants to be paid like the boss, but no one wants to excel like the boss.

How many times do you look at how much money your boss makes, compare it to what you make, and think to yourself “I work my ass off. Why does he get to make more money than me?”

Perhaps it is because he built the company from the ground up. Perhaps it is because he hustles every single day and he deserves it.

Build your own company if you think you can do better. That is what I did.

I used to work for people, but I thought I could do better. So I went out and built my own company. I basically ate pasta and butter, and begged and pleaded as I built my own company.

So many people want to be compensated for mediocrity. They try to get five things done in one day, but they only do a mediocre job doing each of those things.

I tell people all the time that if you want to get good at something, learn to be great at one thing at a time before you work on doing other things. Once you perfect that one thing, then move on to doing something else and do it until you can do it perfectly.

As I mentioned in a recent blog, you can’t multitask in life unless you learn how to do each task perfectly first. I am tired of mediocrity. I don’t like mediocrity, and neither should you.

So the next time you look at someone who is good at meeting women, don’t be jealous or upset. Just go out there and perfect one skill that will help you become just as good with women.

Pick just one thing at a time. For example, go to the grocery store and learn how to be the best at meeting women at the grocery store.

The next time you look at your boss thinking he is overpaid and he gives you a list of things at which you can get better, think about how you should respond to him. Instead of being jealous, lazy or unappreciative, prove yourself to him.

Become great at one thing, and then take on the daunting task of becoming great at something else. If your boss tells you that you’re lacking in an area that is a part of your job description — whether it’s that you don’t bring in business, you don’t know to sell, you’re not a good marketer or whatever it might be — then you should go and work overtime to be great at that skill because that is how you get compensated.

Too many people in life feel like they just deserve things. They don’t have a good work ethic.

Get a good work ethic and you will earn respect. If you come to someone with your hand out looking for money and you don’t have that good work ethic, that person will lose all respect for you.

Get good at everything you do. Make a list of five things at which you want to become great, and then tackle one of those things at a time.

If it takes a month to get great at that one thing, then so be it. Just be sure to focus on that one thing until you master it, and forget about the other things while you do.

Hope this was a big kick in the ass for you guys today. I know some of you need it.

Life is only as powerful as your network. Without the right network, however, you may never get to where you desire to go and what you desire to become.

Let’s dive deeper into your life. In today’s podcast, I talk about how to create a successful plan for your
life – and not just for your dating life.

I also have special guest on in today’s podcast who talks about his network and how he “spread the love” to achieve greater success in his life.

To listen to today’s podcast, click here:

If this kind of plan sounds great to you, and you want to create your own personalized plan, then CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman and I’ll tell you exactly how to do that step-by-step.