Some of you need to think of your dating life as the stock market. Lots of ups, lots of downs. But the real question is, what is your ROI? Let’s talk about your ROI, your return on investment, when it comes down to dating and you.

And I want you to ask yourself right now, what is your ROI? What is your return on the investment that you make while trying to meet someone of the opposite sex? You go out Friday night, you go out Saturday night. I want you to right now write down on a piece of paper how much you spend and where you spend on an average Friday night, on an average Saturday night, going out trying to meet people. Write it down right now.

Now what I want you to do is write down the amount of money you spend on a vacation, and if you take that vacation to places where you try to go and meet people. Miami? Vegas? Cancun? I want you to write that down.

I also want you to write down how much you spend on online dating sites.

Now, add up your expenses, and from every Friday and Saturday night–times that by 52. Take a look at that number right now. How many dates is that yielding you? What is your return on investment?

Are You Undateable?

A client of mine, years ago, I did this formula with him. He was a big time investment banker. He decided he was going to get a house out in the Hamptons for a month. He didn’t even live in New York. He lived in California. He was ready to fly out to the Hamptons, throw some party every weekend, get lots of women over to his place to line up, and maybe one of them would end up moving to California.

Really? I thought that was crazy. But he had a lot of money so I figured, why not let him do it? It’s his money, not mine.

So he did it. And he threw some wild and crazy parties at the Hamptons. He even got written up in the New York Post. A month later, after moving back to LA, I asked him, “What’d you spend on that whole charade?” He said, “I don’t know, about 400,000 including the parties and the house I guess.”

So what was his ROI? He hooked up once, and he got a lot of women that said they wanted to come out to LA and visit.

And a month after that, I asked him how many of the women he met actually visited him. “Well,” he said, “one ended up visiting, but I had to fly her out. We didn’t really get along after a day or two, and it wasn’t really worth it.” He said, “I had a lot of fun, but it was a bad investment. I really believed I would meet somebody that way.”

Here’s the deal: For some reason we’ve been led to believe that we need to spend money to go out there and meet people. That somehow, we can just go out to these places on Friday and Saturday nights, work out beforehand, put on our best outfits, and stand there, drink, spend money, and it’s going to happen. But if you look at that number, and you look at your ROI—you look at the amount of dates you get from that—you’ll realize it’s one of the worst investments you’ve made in your entire life.

My ROI has always been great. I’ve said it a thousand times. Supermarkets, video stores (when they were hot), coffee shops, parks, just walking around every day. Things I do for free anyway, meeting people casually. I was meeting people and not spending not a penny. My stock market, if we had to do the math, was probably at 100,000, levels never hit before. You get my point.

The bottom line is, what is your ROI, and how are you maximizing it? Add it up. Go ahead and share it in the comments section if you want.

You’re going to see that number is really scary. And you’re going to have to start re-thinking things and where you’re investing your time and money in your life.

You think your lonely check this out what lonely really is all about.

Though I personally think Apple is a great buy right now….it is at a 52 week low.

But this is not a stock trading site so lets get back to the issue at hand on the first Friday in October.

It’s all about paybacks and dividends.

If you’re home on a Friday or Saturday night, make a list of all of the cool people you’ve met over the course of a year – women that you’ve met at parties, women that you’ve met online, whatever it might be. Make that list.

And when you do that, write down something that you remember specifically about each person and why you liked them.

And then what you do is reconnect with them! Just because you didn’t go out with them or date them the first time doesn’t mean that you can’t reconnect the second time. And it doesn’t mean that they haven’t thought of you.

We’ve all done it. We’ve all gone through our lives and thought about our missed connections – cool people that we just didn’t connect with at the time because our mindset wasn’t in the right place.

When I’ve had relationships split up, I’ve met a lot of cool women but I just wasn’t ready for them. Now I can look back and I think to myself, huh, I wonder what happened to that person?

Instead of not doing anything about it and thinking that you blew it, just go and call or text her. Just say, “hey, how have you been? I was thinking about you. Let’s catch up.” That’s it.

You never know. If you throw ten of those out there, two of them might come back. The women might think to themselves, oh yeah, David – what a good guy!

You have to start thinking in terms of abundance. It’s okay to reapply. I really believe in reapplying.

In fact, I just reapplied a few weeks ago and it has been amazing!

Todays video is all about how to walk up to any woman on the street and start a conversation.

The first step needed before you can reapply!

I’ve been looking recently to buy a new house. There is a house that I saw up in the hills that needs a lot of work. I could buy it for a certain price, put a certain amount of money into it, and at the end I could probably have a couple of hundred thousand dollars worth of equity. I can have that big payoff, right? I could sell it if I wanted to. Or I could live in it if I wanted to.

But here’s the bottom line: I don’t want the house! I don’t like the street that it is on. So even though I could make money on it – there would be a big payoff attached to it – I don’t want it.

Why is it that everything we do in life has to have a big payoff at the end?

When you buy a piece of property, you never buy the land you love; you buy the one that has the best resale value. You want to live in a place that you love, but we’re trained to choose the option that is going to give us the biggest payoff.

Life has to give us the big payoff in every facet. If you buy a stock, yes, there should be a big payoff to your investment. If you buy a house, you want to buy the right house in the right neighborhood at the right price.

But what happened to the time when home ownership was just home ownership – living in a place to increase your quality of life? Coming home to a neighborhood that you love? Having friends over to a place that you were proud of? Hanging artwork on the wall in a place that felt like home?

Why does everything now have to have such a huge payoff at the end?

When you approach someone that you’re attracted to, you’re no longer present in the moment – you’re just thinking about whether or not they like you and if you can get the phone number.

I know so many men who approach a woman and instead of just talking to her and getting to know her, they spend the whole time just thinking about whether or not she is interested in him. From the second they approach her, all they think about is how they can get the phone number – they are focused only on the payoff.

Rather than approaching someone and just having a great conversation, they are worried about the payoff the entire time. They worry about if the other person likes them, they worry if they are going to connect with them, they worry about when they should ask for the phone number, and they are never actually present in the conversation!

Meanwhile, they haven’t even taken the time out to think about if they are genuinely interested in this person or not! The whole point of approaching someone has become the payoff – not to find out if you connect and have chemistry and want to get to know the person further. Figuring out whether you are interested in this person or not should be the payoff.

You have to start learning that often times the quality of life is more rewarding than the big payoff. The payoff – the outcome – is going to happen naturally.

If you’re 100% present in a conversation with someone and enjoying the experience – guess what is going to happen? You’ll get the payoff that you were worried about in the first place! You’ll get the phone number; you will go out on a date and find out whether or not you’re interesting in them.

But if you are so obsessed with the end result during the conversation then you will never intrigue the person or be able to get to know them. You’ll just be nervous and your energy will convey that.

Stop worrying about what the future holds in life. Stop worrying about the future payoff and just stay present. The more present you are the better decisions you’ll make and the richer your life will be.