What a game yesterday. My thoughts on the game and how it impacts your life will be posted tomorrow.
I had an interesting talk with a client this morning and thought i would write it up for you guys.
David: Stop thinking about the future! The future is not right now.
We hear this all the time, but let me tell all of you this right now: if I could predict the future, you would not be sitting here with me right now. If I could predict the future, do you think I’d be spending this time coaching you guys?
I’d probably take my girlfriend and my dog with me and we’d go surfing on my own private little island. I heard Marlon Brando’s island is going to be up for sale eventually – maybe I’d buy that.
If I could predict the future, I would predict the winning numbers in the lottery. I would tell you the Steelers would win the Super Bowl and I would have put all of my money on it. I would tell you which stocks would rise during Obama’s presidency. If I could predict the future, there are so many different things I would do. But I can’t!
The only thing in life that we have the power to do is to remain present. That is it. We have no other powers.
So if there is a woman that you really want to get to know and you’re thinking about how to somehow swing her in your direction, you’re not really being present. You’re just thinking about how to get her to come to you, instead of really just having a great time. If you’re having a really great time and she starts to see you that way, you’re going to create attraction.
If you’re really enjoying the company of her friends, she’ll start to see you in that way. That’s how women look at things. But instead, you’re just thinking about the future. You’re not even thinking about that day. You could all be just hanging out at a bar on a Saturday night, but you’re not really there. You’re only thinking about how you can manipulate the situation and change the future.
The fact is that the future is not now – the present is now. Stay focused and stay present to what is going on in the moment. It takes a lot of work to truly stay focused in the present.
Client: Is there something that you can do to really work on that? I feel like I can’t really control it on my own.
David: You’re doing it right now – you’re listening to me. You’re listening intently to every word that comes out of my mouth. For the last few minutes, you listened to every word I said, and then you asked a question based on what you heard. And you did it with authority and conviction in your voice. You weren’t nervous, and you did it from your heart. I could see that it came from your heart, and I could see who you are as a person.
So that’s how you do it. You just listen. If you’re outcome-derived, or you expect something from somebody, then it’s not going to happen. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don’t expect anything from anybody. If you do, you’ll set yourself up to be disappointed. Why should you be disappointed? Life is an amazing ride. Enjoy it. Enjoy the entire process.
