Why not just call yourself Southwest then? I mean, the flight was booked weeks ago and I can’t pick a seat? What a waste of time!

Not to mention, can people be any grumpier? I mean, it’s supposed to be the holiday time and yet I had the nastiest women sitting next to me on the plane.

They spent an hour complaining about Christmas shopping and the long lines. You all know the lines (no, I’m not talking to you PUA guys), the ones where you’re waiting to pay for your items? Those lines are actually one of the best ways to meet people.

Looking at those two women on the plane – no engagement rings on their fingers and bitching and complaining nonstop — I couldn’t imagine them grasping the concept of flirting while waiting in a line. Not to mention, that I bet those women were the same type of person who, when they get to the front of a line, go to pay with a check and haven’t even started to fill it in ahead of time.

Christmas time is one of the best times to talk to people in line. You can say, “Wow, what a great sweater!” or “Soap on a rope. Wow, I used to give that to my Dad!” If I had been in line with one of these women from the plane, however, I would have said something more like, “Do you always complain in line?”

When I was single, I’d always go people shopping around the holidays. I’d have no bags, go into a store and turn into a customer service rep. I’d say things like, “You’re really getting that sweater for your uncle Ted? I don’t think he’ll like it…”

My favorite question while waiting in line used to be, “If you could buy anything in this store, what would it be?” The answer to this question gives you great insight into someone’s personality.

It is also such a great open-ended question. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to ask people why they are buying the Zales heart-shaped pendant with the microscopic sized diamond chips when they could have gotten a sold 14K gold ring.

Anyway, have fun out there in the lines when you’re shopping. Oh, and just one last thing about holiday traveling.

I was in the security line listening to someone talk about how many planes they have to take to go from Los Angeles to Baltimore — 3 connections! I wondered how much they paid for the privilege of adding six hours to their trip and getting to schlep their gifts onto three different planes.

So I turned to that person and said, “Are you Santa Claus? Because it sounds like you have way too many rooftops to get to before you get to Baltimore.” They said, “The ticket was cheap.” I said, “How much?” They said they paid $265.00.” I didn’t want to tell them that I paid $260.00 for a direct flight on which I didn’t have to land on any rooftops.

For all of you who are willing to pay $10.00 less to add five hours to your trip, I have a question for you. Is your time only worth $10.00?

Do you think Southwest is your only flying alternative? It’s called marketing folks. Bags fly free? Great . . . but you also fly six hours longer.

Then I tried to get one of the Southwest vouchers. The problem is that they only allow a certain number of people per flight to use a voucher, and I missed being allowed on one flight I needed to get another flight, so I couldn’t work that out.

Then I called up American Airlines, and American told me we’ve got award travel miles (12,500 for one way and 25,000 the other way) available so the ticket would cost an additional $100.00. If two people fly, though, you can get it for $120.00 but only if it comes out of one mileage account. If it comes out of two separate mileage accounts, then it costs $200.00.

So then I called up United Airlines, which was the best one so far. They could get us there using 25,000 airline miles, except that we were short some miles in my account. So I asked if I could transfer some miles into my account (which they could), but they said the transfer takes 48 hours and I needed to be on the flight before then.

Since I was already on the phone with them and they could see on their computer screen that the miles I wanted transferred were there, I asked if they could just do the transfer right then and there so we could get the tickets. They said no, they couldn’t do it because the 48 hour thing is a rule.

It’s unbelievable the amount of rules that are out there.  People are robots. Nobody can break a rule . . . or even alter a rule.

Last night we went out to dinner to talk about this wonderful day spent finding airfare. We were at a sushi restaurant, and I wanted one piece of uni. At this restaurant, uni comes two to an order for $8.00. I asked if I could order just one piece of uni, and the waiter said no (because they only serve it in orders of two).

So, basically, the restaurant didn’t want to make $4.00, and they didn’t want to split the order up because it would break the rules. I talked to the manager to see if he would be willing to break the rules, but he said he wouldn’t break the rule because it’s a rule and he had to obey the rule.

People are such robots. Nobody can ever bend a rule even a little bit. I know the airlines have to have certain rules, but the problem is that they have so many different rules — and the rules change so often — that no one can figure out what all the rules are.

Can you bring on carry-on luggage or can you not bring on carry-on luggage? Now, all of a sudden, you have to pay to check your luggage.  Because of that, everybody’s trying to just have carry-on luggage (leaving no overhead space on the plane).

The “rules” say that the plane should have a certain amount of overhead space per person, but most people put their suitcases up there with the wheels sideways so only about half as much luggage actually fits up there. Isn’t there also a “rule” about which direction the wheels should go in the overhead containers? How come no one follows that rule?  

We all are robots.  We all follow rules in life. So what does all this have to do with dating?

Well, a lot of people think there are rules in dating. I can’t tell you how many times I get an email from someone asking something like, “David, I read where you said that you should lean in on a date when you’re talking to a woman, but someone else said you shouldn’t do that. Now, isn’t that a rule that you’re not supposed to lean in like that?”

It’s unbelievable. What about intuition? What about doing something just for the sake of doing it? What about trusting your own gut?

What about bending and breaking the “rules” sometimes? Why does there have to be so many rules? Why are we such a rule-driven society?

It’s amazing how many people have trouble meeting and dating the opposite sex because they believe there have to be rules. Hmmm, she flipped her hair on the left side, which means I should not kiss her tonight. Really?! Where did you read that . . . in some “10 rules for dating” article somewhere?

Whatever happened to just doing things because they feel right in the moment. Now, I’m not talking about a rule-less society, but every once in a while can’t we just give up that one piece of uni, allow someone to transfer a few airline miles or go in for a kiss without reading a textbook about it ahead of time? If we did, we might all actually live a little longer.

Its summer travel season and I am off to Hawaii tomorrow, so i thought i would share a recent travel related adventure with you all….

By the way airports are great places to meet people.

Recently I was sitting in the Las Vegas airport and I realized – why would anybody actually want to fly Southwest?

They just landed the flight, you get three minutes to board the plane so they remain on time – basically I think Southwest should just move all of their terminals to the Greyhound bus terminal, because really Southwest is just the bus in the sky.

Everybody’s lined up in their little groups like robots, waiting to get on the plane. They then hustle on the plane so that they can go find a seat next to somebody they don’t want to sit next to in the first place – really if you think about it, flying on Southwest is a great way to meet people. You can pick and choose whom you want to sit next to!

On the plane ride here, I actually got on the plane and I was going to sit down, and there was this perfect seat in the front of the plane. This guy was sitting there in the corner all by himself, and everybody was walking by him and I couldn’t figure out why.

So I go put my bag in the overhead compartment, and as I start to sit down, all I can smell is the lovely smell of underarm sweat! Apparently, this man didn’t believe in using deodorant.

It’s amazing that a person can get on an airplane in a public place and smell like they just finished a six-hour workout. He smelled so bad, he made Burger King and McDonald’s smell delicious – which is definitely a tough thing to do.

So as I was waiting for the bus in the sky to get home, I realized it’s just not the most civil and humane way to do it. So now I’ve decided that Southwest needs to land in the middle of the city, basically right next to the Greyhound buses, so you have the two options.

This plane I’m on right now has been to six places – it went from Midland to Albuquerque to Phoenix to Las Vegas to Los Angeles. Some people actually got on in Albuquerque to save $3.50 over all the rest of the airlines so that they can spend six hours in the sky instead of spending just two hours flying direct from Albuquerque to LA. Time is worth more to me than saving $3.50!

It’s pretty amazing, because I once flew Southwest – well, I had to, there was nothing else to fly – Southwest is generally my last option. I flew on this flight that took me from LA to St. Louis and I was sitting down next to someone who was going to Long Island, New York. He had six stops to get there!

It is literally a bus – it flies up in the air, touches down for three and a half minutes, everyone hustles like a bunch of sheep to get on the plane. The cheery Southwest flight attendants then tell some kind of joke – and they are pretty good, they’re a lot better than the sourpusses that work for American Airlines and United.

I asked the guy with six stops going to Long Island how much his airfare was and he told me it was like $265. Do you know I fly to New York City regularly on American Airlines for $299? I told him that he’d saved $34 to spend the entire day on the airplane, and he said, “huh. I guess the commercials don’t tell the truth!”

Let me tell you guys – I’m a huge fan of saving time. If you think about it, unless you are socializing in the aisles of the airplane, flirting with everybody on there – what’s the point of being up there for nine hours just to save $34?

It’s just not worth the extra time. I’d rather spend my time in the airport, flirting with the person next to me, having some fun and exchanging phone numbers – and then getting on that plane knowing that I had a good time and I can get somewhere automatically.

You don’t really need to fly a bus in the sky. I think that Southwest should change the shape of their planes to look like buses.

One more thing about flying – on a 45-minute flight, you really don’t need to give out peanuts and water and everything else. You don’t need to feed the people for 45 minutes! It’s ridiculous – people can survive not eating for 45 minutes. It’d actually do some people good!

Perhaps instead of offering peanuts, they should offer some stretching exercises instead. People don’t need to be entertained 24/7.

How about this idea: how about a speed dating event in an airplane for 45 minutes – that would be more fun!