I was sitting around this morning and I realized something that really hit me like a ton of bricks: we’re all looking for our soulmates out there.  Everyday millions of people are going out on dates hoping and praying that they’ve met “the one” or their soulmate.  Everyday people are logging into online dating sites hoping that the new e-mail is from their soulmate.

We’ve been doing it wrong for so long.  Do you want to know where your soulmate really is?  Are you willing to join me on a journey to help you discover your soulmate? If the answer is yes, which I know it is, I want you to do something right now.  I want you to go into your bathroom or find the closest mirror. Maybe you’re reading this at work, maybe you’re reading this in the car while you’re driving. (You know that’s not allowed but hey, I’ve seen people do it constantly while living here in Los Angeles.)

Wherever you might are right now, I want you to go find the nearest mirror, and I want you to look at it, and I want you to come back and read the rest of this article.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Great.

What did you see when you looked in the mirror?  I know your answer is probably simply yourself or maybe your eyes or your nose or your hair, or maybe you’re not having a good hair day so you noticed that you need to get a new conditioner.  That’s not what I was looking for.  I want you to go look in the mirror one more time, and then I want you to come back and read some more.

. . .

Okay.  Now what did you see? I’m sure by now you’re confused, and you just want to go and skim down a few lines and see what I’m getting at.  Why is he making me looking in the mirror right now?  Why is he telling me to look in mirror?

You know why I want you to look in the mirror, because you just saw your soulmate.  You just saw the person you’re supposed to be madly in love with.  You just saw the person you’re supposed to connect with and honor in all ways.  You just saw the person that you’re supposed to nurture and take care of.  You just saw the person that you’re supposed to love unconditionally in every way, shape, or form.

You just found your soulmate.  Life is all about loving yourself and finding yourself.  It’s not about filling in the gaps.  It’s not about searching for that potential person that’s going to save you from a life of being alone.  It’s about loving yourself.  It’s about realizing that the person staring back at you in the mirror is your soulmate.  Once you fall madly in love with yourself, once you realize the power of this message, dating is going to become far easier because you’re already satisfied on so many levels.

Think about this for a second: if you would treat your lover with honor, with respect; if you would take your lover out to dinner; if you would go to great events with your lover; if you would travel with your lover—then that’s what you need to do with yourself.

If you do this you’re going to attract your other soulmate. You’re going to attract your other half, another person that loves and honors and respects themselves.

So go back to that mirror, and look at the beautiful person that’s staring back at you, and tell yourself that you finally found your soulmate. Try that attitude change for a bit, and see how it changes your dating life. My book Naked! is all about this, falling in love with yourself, so you’re able to fall in love with others.

You start thinking to yourself, “Oh my god, what am I going to do with her for the whole weekend? It’s going to take away from me-time, and she will take me away from finding someone I’m really into…” Have you ever felt like that?

But in reality, this experience that you’re having with this woman – connecting with her, the experience that you’ll have sexually with her – will help you move forward.

You know that old saying, “Love the one you’re with?” If you love the one you’re with, you’ll start to learn things about yourself and learn how to better interact and connect with other people.

Maybe this weekend will be a great weekend for you to have some fun and learn some new sexual things. Just be open to it! You don’t have to spend your whole life with her – you can just hang out with her for a few days.

A lot of guys won’t do it. I used to be guilty of it when I was younger as well. I wouldn’t be open to it. Some woman would just deposit herself in front of me and want to hang out and I’d think, well, this isn’t the one I REALLY want, and then I would panic. I didn’t want to be “stuck” with her.

But the best thing to do in that situation is just enjoy it. Enjoy the weekend that you have with her. Enjoy the time with her – you’ll learn a lot from it.

And have you guys been following this story. Also to all the men out there who do not think women age well.

Time to really wake up and see true beauty.

Check this out.

I’ve been on a journey for the last couple years learning about self-love. Self-love is one of the most important things you can ever have, because you will never be able to truly love someone else until you learn to truly love yourself.

The reason this is true, is because until you learn to truly love yourself there will always be a wall up around you. There will always be something the prevents you from giving yourself freely to someone else.

A lot of us give of ourselves freely to our animals. Some of us become crazy cat people, while others become crazy dog people. A lot of us can give freely of ourselves to our children.

Many of us have trouble giving freely of ourselves to another adult of the opposite sex, however, because we are so caught up in protecting our emotions. Until you are able to give yourself freely to somebody, though, you will never experience love.

You actually may be able to experience some depth of love, but you’ll never experience powerful love. We all deserve to experience powerful love.

The personal journey of self-love I’ve been on has been unbelievable. What is most unbelievable about it, however, is that it all stemmed from a “Brady Bunch Greg Brady falling off my surfboard in Hawaii” moment.

I think there is an actual mark on the surfboard showing where I fell. I was truly channeling Greg Brady and his Hawaiian surfing episode: I went down in the reef, I had the tiki idol necklace around my neck, Marsha and Cindy were yelling from the beach . . . Ok, maybe not that last part. In all seriousness, though, something did happen to me in Hawaii.

Hawaii is a very spiritual place. When I was surfing in Hawaii this past summer staring at a waterfall, I noticed that if you lined up the surfboard correctly you’d be surfing directly into the waterfall and the mountains.

There is a lot of energy in Hawaii, both spiritual and emotional energy. For reasons unknown, although probably because I was trying to show off to people on the beach, I decided while surfing to jump off my board into the shallow water . . . and ever since that day my hip has been aching.

Once I went deeper into it, I realized that I was on an emotional journey to have and experience the most incredible love I ever wanted: the love of myself. I realized that until I was able to do that, I would not be able to meet and experience someone amazing.

The “I Want More” blog I wrote was all about the feelings and emotions you have for someone that are so amazing that you just constantly desire more. A man named Joe (Mr. “DarkEnergy” himself in fact) posted a comment to that blog asking me how you can tell the difference between the feeling I described in the blog and a simple “crush.”

My answer to Joe was that you want to have a crush . . . just a crush that lasts forever. That’s the magic of love. The magic of love is having a crush that lasts forever and ever, but also knowing and being able to do the necessary work to nurture that relationship to allow it to go the distance.

I want a crush that lasts forever. I want to look at someone and always think they’re the most beautiful person in the world. I want every kiss to be magical.

The only way to make that happen and to make a crush last forever, though, is to be totally conscious about the other person. You need to find someone who is effortless to be with and with whom doing the right this is easy.

The only way to make a relationship like this last is to have both of you want to make it last. You both must recognize the gifts. You both also must recognize your relationship to be comprised of two souls which connect on a deep level. Most importantly, you must have done enough work on yourself to realize that such a connection doesn’t happen every single day.

You may still have more work to do on yourself, but we all need to be working on ourselves every day. If you do and you have already found a crush, the great thing is that you have the other person to support you, accept you and embrace you for everything you are working on about yourself.

Granted, every relationship has a honeymoon phase, but I’ve seen couples who are still “ga-ga” about each other after seven or eight years. They may no longer be having sex seven days a week, but when they make love it’s still absolutely amazing. It is still so amazing because they are still making love to someone on whom they have a crush, someone with whom they’ve created a level of comfort where they know each other on every level and have given every part of themselves to each other.

So all of you should be looking to have a crush on someone, the kind of crush that lasts forever. The only way to make a crush last forever, though, is to first have a crush on yourself. Start getting a kick out of yourself. Start enjoying yourself.

More importantly, get on the same page as someone else’s soul, and let your souls connect. When two souls are connecting, you are going to have a crush . . . and a crush far greater than the kind you had at age sixteen.

Over the age of thirty, you truly know that when you find this it is a gift being presented to you that doesn’t happen every day. You are emotionally mature enough to embrace it and have fun with it.

For all of you who don’t believe in the magic of a crush, you are missing out on something. For those of you who still want to find someone on whom you have this “forever” kind of a crush, the only way to start is to first have a crush on yourself. Remember that nobody can have a crush on you unless you love yourself.

Have you ever spent twenty-eight hours with somebody and it felt like one minute? Twenty-eight hours in which the conversation never ceased to stop? Twenty-eight hours in which the excitement kept building and where the connection kept getting stronger as each minute passed?

Life is a gift. It’s time all of you started accepting the gift of life, because when you do what will happen is that you will actually start to meet people who are going to blow you away. When you’re open and you’re being honest, that is when you’re going to find someone who is also open and honest and then life is just going to seem to mesh.

You will be on the same page with this person about everything you think and feel. It’s amazing when you spend twenty-eight hours with somebody, and when they leave all you want to do is start another twenty-eight hours with them all over again. You don’t want that person to leave. You just want them to stay.

Of course we all have responsibilities in our lives. We all need to work. We all have things we need to do. We need to make money. We need to see our friends. We need to see our family. When someone leaves you after spending twenty-eight hours together and all you can think about is getting to spend twenty-nine (or even thirty-six) hours with them the next time you see them, however, you are in the midst of something amazing.

It’s about building. It’s about desire. It’s about experiencing someone so much that when they leave, you think about how amazing your time together was and look forward to more. That is what chemistry is all about.

Chemistry is about connecting with somebody on every level, and having a very peaceful feeling as you connect with them. It’s is knowing that whatever you say is safe. It is knowing that whatever you’re feeling, they are on the same page with you.

Every word that is said and every moment that is exchanged is building a memory. It’s building things the two of you can talk about in the future. It is the foundation of a relationship.

The first few months you are hanging with someone is building the foundation for what you hope will be an amazing relationship for a long time. So for those of you who are dating someone new, enjoy every moment and every memory because those memories and moments are precious.

There will be a time when you will no longer see that person for twenty-eight hours and will see them all the time. You’ll be so entwined in each other’s lives, and you’ll get there naturally. You’ll get there because each twenty-eight hour period is building the desire to spend more time with each other, to get to know each other better, and to experience more and more of each other.

Connecting with another soul on a deep level like this is amazing and is the best feeling you could ever have, because it’s a connection with no thought process that is 100% natural. That feeling is something that is really going to last and which will really build into more intense feelings.

I think the greatest thing you can have in life is being so content with yourself and so happy, that you are able to truly think about someone else and how you feel about them. I must admit that it’s addicting, and it’s an addiction that everyone needs to feel.

What are your thoughts on this? Are you dating someone about whom you feel this way? If you are dating someone and you don’t have this feeling about them, then you need to move on because this feeling is one that we all need to experience.

There is no other feeling you should experience with someone, because if you’re not feeling this way it means that you’re not connecting with that person on enough of a deep and soulful level. It’s all right if you discover you’re not with someone for whom you feel this way, because you can feel confident that if you move on that there is someone out there waiting for you with whom you will experience this feeling.

If you believe that this type of connection with someone is possible, it will show up. When it does, you need to embrace it because that person could be the love of your life. You’ve got to embrace every little moment of it, because the more you do the better it becomes.