You’ve heard so many nightmare stories about it. You’ve heard about children acting up. You’ve heard about the lack of intimate one-on-one time.

There are so many things that can potentially go wrong. There is no spontaneity. Everything you’ve heard about children is multiplied by twenty because this kid isn’t even yours.

You’ve also heard about the tenacious sex drive that single moms have. Because they’re with the kids five days a week and they only have two days free, in those two days they need to satisfy all their urges. They want to have sex, but they’re not about wasting time because their free time is so limited.

So here you are. You’ve met an amazing woman and you’re dating “the single mom.” This is something you’ve never wanted. Welcome to one of the toughest times of your adult adolescence, because this is the time that you are forced to grow up faster than ever before.

I remember when I was living in Boulder, Colorado. I met a great woman named Denise who was beautiful and sexy. Everything about her was perfect, except she she had a four year old kid (and a boyfriend at the time too).

I remember that I would flirt with her every time I saw her. About a year later after flirting with her and being friends with her boyfriend, she came to my office one day and told me that she wanted to take me to dinner.

We went out to dinner. At dinner she looked at me and basically told me she was in love with me. I didn’t know what to do. I just really never wanted to adopt someone else’s kid, and she knew this.

So a few weeks later, she actually dropped her kid off for a few hours at my office. It was torture. It was hell. I was exhausted. I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.

I moved to San Diego. About six months later, I actually called her and said, “Moving to San Diego and walking away from you was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life.” By that time she had met someone else.

I wasn’t ready to date a woman with a kid. I wasn’t really mature enough. I realized, though, that not doing it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

It’s true that there are going to be limitations when you date a woman who has a kid. She is still a woman, though, and she still has needs, wants and desires.

Also, it’s true that the child isn’t yours and that it is not a dream situation. In life, though, we can try to live the dream situation or we can just live life and take things as they come.

In life, everything doesn’t go according to plan. Everything doesn’t go the way you think it’s supposed to go.

So if you meet an incredible who has a child, and the child has a father who is in his or her life, then all that woman is looking for from you is to be a great man for her. When you spend time with the kid, enjoy the kid.

Kids are beautiful. Kids are great. You can learn a lot of things about yourself through the child.

She doesn’t need a substitute dad. She just needs you to be her boyfriend, to be her man.

So if you’re dating a single mother, enjoy it! This woman may have a child, but you may not be able to meet another great woman like her.

This is a great time in your life. It enables you to grow and experience things that you never thought you would experience. So, enjoy that single mother!

That reminded me of a woman I dated about fourteen years ago named Denise. I told my girlfriend the story about the time that Denise dropped her kid off at my office, and the kid proceeded to wreak complete havoc.

I said it was at that moment I realized that I could not be in a relationship with her, because I was not ready to take on someone’s kid and to be a dad. No matter how wonderful Denise was, I simply was not in that place in my life.

All of a sudden, and just as I finished that sentence, out of the corner of my eye I notice this woman with crazy eyes at another table peering toward our table. We had not been speaking unusually loudly. We were just speaking in a normal conversational voice to each other.

The woman with the crazy eyes at the other table then said, “Excuse me. Do you mind? This really hits home for me.” I look over there and all I see is a kid sitting at the table with her eating a sundae.

I’m thinking, “This woman is a crazy mother and a nut!” I look at my girlfriend, but I can’t say a word because I unbelievably have this person leaning in, eavesdropping and telling us what we are allowed to talk about with each other across the dinner table.

Now I’m ready to just battle down with this woman, but my girlfriend gives me a cautioning look and says “The kid’s here.” So, we just got up and we left.  This woman was out of her mind!

Do you look at another couple like that when you’re out in a restaurant? Let’s say a couple has a date and they’re talking dirty to each other, whispering sweet nothings and having a good time telling each other all the things they want to do to each other later.

Are you going to be the buzz kill in that situation? Are you going to look at them and say “Excuse me. I haven’t been laid in over three years and this is really hitting close to home for me. I’m really tired of masturbating nonstop. So, would you mind not talking to each other like that?”

What about if you’re sitting next to a couple in a restaurant and a man is sharing with his wife what a great day he had at the office. Would you ever look at them and say, “I have a really shitty job. Do you mind not talking about that right now?”

Anyone who is familiar with my work knows that I am all about eavesdropping. I encourage people to join conversations. If you hear a group of people talking about something that interests you, join the conversation and add to it.

You, however, should never join a conversation to kill it. Never put your crazy psycho energy on someone else. Never tell anyone what they should (or should not) talk about in a private conversation.

So what I was talking about privately to my girlfriend hit home for this woman? I am sorry you may have made some bad choices. I am sorry that the man you chose is a deadbeat dad to your daughter. My heart bleeds for you.

You know what, though? You should never ever listen to someone else’s conversation and tell them what they should or shouldn’t say.

This would only happen in California. This woman was crazy.

We actually had a wonderful laugh about it as we left. In fact, the whole way home we kept laughing and wondering what was wrong with that woman.

Why do people feel the need to do things like this? It reminds me of a blog I wrote a long time ago about people like this. Really, what is wrong with some people? Crazy energy. Crazy eyes. Crazy people.

I was with the guys today (“the guys” are Rey and Rich – Rey the assistant and Rich the intern.) We went to Whole Foods today, and I started flirting with this single mom in line while we were checking out. She was very pretty, very sexy, and very nice – and attached to a five-year-old.

The five-year-old was great – really cute and amusing, but he needed ALL of his mother’s attention. When we left the market, one of the guys said, “oh wow, that mom was really attracted to you! Why didn’t you ask her out?”

I responded, “well, there really wasn’t the time – her kid was pulling on her arm!” It was really hard to talk to her, and you also have to respect the fact that she is with her child. But she was definitely vibing me and I probably would have asked her out if I would have had the opportunity – when her little boy wasn’t pulling on her.

I also don’t particularly want to ask her out if she’s not a single mom! I wouldn’t want her kid to go home and say, “daddy, daddy, guess what happened today? Mommy got asked out by this guy in Whole Foods!”

So I’ve got some advice for all of you single mothers out there: if you are out with your kids and a guy starts talking to you, he is exactly what you want because he already knows that you have children!

So many single mothers have this issue about dating – “how am I going to date? How will I meet someone? Nobody wants me when I have a kid!” But it’s not true!

If we are flirting with you and we see that you have a kid attached to your arm, we don’t care! We don’t care if you are a mom; we want to date you – plain and simple.

If you’re a single mom and you’re out with your kids, you have to lie down some clues and hints for the guy you’re flirting with. You have to stop for a second. Obviously, don’t kick the kid out into the street – “hey, mommy will be right back!” – nothing that blunt, but maybe say something like, “yeah, he’s just lacking male attention,” or “he just gets jealous when his mom talks to another man” – something funny.

This will let the guy know that you want to be asked out. We’ll ask you out very quickly once we know that you’re open to it, but you need to say something that permits us to do it.

We totally understand that you are a mom, we understand that you’re hanging out with your kid; but we don’t want to ask you out if we’re not sure that you are single.

We don’t want the kid going home and being scarred for life after seeing his mom getting hit on at Whole Foods. You never know what could happen – he could end up with pure approach anxiety or turn out to be some seducing ladies man after watching his mom get hit on all of the time.

Lay down some clues for us! Clues are always good. We need them once in a while. And do you know what? If I ever see you without your kid, I will definitely ask you out. But the next time I see you with your kid, give me a clue!

I’m gutsy, and I’ll ask out everybody – but I’m also very respectful of a lot of things.

Todays video is all about how to listen to that single mom or single woman. If you listen you will be able to close her.

Have an amazing Saturday and check out the challenge I put out on Thursday post……..The pickup post.

Its a good one.