I live right on the beach in L.A., and I thought about something I noticed on my trip: the Atlantic Ocean in Miami sounds different than the Pacific Ocean. The waves are smaller, but have continuous little swells that come in, so you hear a constant whooshing sound. The Pacific has bigger waves that crash harder, so it’s a different sound. In Hawaii, the ocean sounds different too. When I’m in the South of France, at the beach in Cannes, the waves are totally different.

Nature has so many different sounds. Each beach has different birds with different sounds. Different forests have different sounds depending on the density of the trees. Each thunderstorm is different depending on where you are. If you’re in the mountains, a thunderstorm sounds far different than it does if you’re on flatland in Kentucky.

Getting in touch with nature can make you a far more interesting person, but not only that, it’s going to help you connect with the opposite sex better. You’re going to be more tuned into the environment and you’re surroundings.

Every day, lots of people here watch the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. But when you live on the East Coast, you watch the sunset over a city because the sun sets in the West. Different! And the reflection of the sun fading out as the day gets dark over the water on the East Coast gives it a different hue that you don’t get on the West Coast. On the West Coast, you get the red water, the red sunset.

It’s all about noticing these little things in those “torturous” sounds of silence that makes you really start to think about how beautiful the world is. When I was in Miami, I always looked up, and that’s something that I learned to do. I look at the Art Deco buildings and admire the architecture and I think to myself, “Wow! These were built by hand in a whole different era.”

I notice buildings. I notice the way the sand feels. It’s different sand in Miami Beach compared to the sand where I live in Los Angeles. Everything is different in the world. It’s up to you to explore it.

Start looking around. Start looking up. I remember when I was in Miami and I stared at this beautiful Deco building. It was an off-yellow at the base, and then as it went upward it became more white. And it had trees on the upper level, which means that somebody had a giant patio. And everyday they get to see the sunset on the East and the way that the beautiful sun reflects on the water as it sets.

I urge you all to get out into the world and start paying attention. Get in touch with everything that’s around you and you’ll never be lacking in conversation.

. . .

Some days I’ll walk down the street and I’ll see a woman and say, “Do you ever look up, because some of the most beautiful things are up there.”

Okay, I don’t know if those are the lyrics at all, but I know that it’s all about the sound of silence.

For so many of you, when you’re out on a date or in a new relationship, the sound of silence really bothers you. But in reality, there never really is any silence. You can be standing there looking out at the water on a date, listening to the ocean, and feeling the need to talk, but in reality what’s the issue? If you just stood there and looked into the water together you’re forming a memory, you’re forming a union, and you’re both enjoying nature.

There are so many beautiful sounds that are around you at all times, there’s never really complete silence.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Enjoy it. And after sitting next to your date in “silence” for 20 minutes, listening to the ocean, look at her and say, “God, that was amazing. I love listening to the ocean; it’s such an amazing, rhythmic, incredible sound.” You can share silence together; you don’t have to be afraid of it.

It’s amazing how we always feel the need to talk, or to fill the airspace with words, or thoughts, or anything. But through silence we actually get deeper in touch with our emotions and we connect back to the Mother Earth; we connect back to the way things really are.

I’m writing this as I’m sitting on Miami Beach listening to the water, listening to the birds, watching the people leave the beach, watching the sun get lower into the sky, checking out the art deco buildings, looking at the way that these lifeguard stands are painted, and just listening to the water and to the sound of the ocean.

It’s that easy. Get peaceful. Learn to enjoy the silence.

Do you know what that word means when a guy says it to you? It means that he is not listening to you anymore. He has not stopped listening to you because he’s bored or because he isn’t interested in you . . . in fact it’s just the opposite.

When I guy starts to respond to you with the word “cool,” it means he is very attracted to you and is nervous. Due to his nervousness he doesn’t know what to say, so all he says is “cool.” The “cool” guy will often have his hands deep in his pockets. He’ll roll his shoulders forward a little.

So how do you get these guys to come out of the “cool” zone? How do you get them to say something other than “cool?”

I understand that when men start doing the “cool” thing, it can be a quick conversation killer. You need to understand, though, that men need a little encouragement sometimes.

What I like to do is rephrase things. I tell women all the time that if they are in a conversation with a “cool” guy, they need to rephrase what they’re talking about with him.

For example, let’s say you are talking to a guy about dogs and he tells you about his Labrador Retriever. You say “God, I love Labradors!” to which he says “cool.” Here’s where you can rephrase what he was saying back to him in a question to get the conversation back on track. So ask him “What made you get a Labrador?” This will get him talking again and off the “cool” track.

If you can get a “cool” guy talking again, he will start relaxing. He’ll realize you don’t bite and that you’re actually approachable.

So the next time a guy says “cool,” don’t take it as a sign he’s not interested in you. Take it instead as a clear sign that he IS interested in you, but you need to dial it back a bit and pull the coolness out of him.

Women tend to be better conversationalists than men. It’s just a fact of life that when you come across a “cool” guy, you are going to have to get him to stop using that one word phrase that always seems to kill a conversation. Remember that once you get the “cool” guy talking again, though, you will be back talking to a guy who will be VERY grateful you did.