If you want to learn about women, instead of looking at pictures on an online dating site and mass emailing them with some generic email, why don’t you read through what turns them on? If you actually spent time reading what turns them on, you would actually become that man. Not one woman online is looking for a soft, wimpy, wussy man.

They are looking for a man that creates passion and desire in them. So how does a guy do this? And can any guy do this?

The answer is yes, if you actually take the time to understand women and take the time to connect with them. When a guy is confident and is able to stimulate a woman’s mind and connect with her, he’ll be in total control and she’ll be totally turned on by him.

So what is the key to getting a woman totally connected and turned on to you? . . . it’s to open your ears and listen!

Most men don’t listen. Most men buy into all the garbage that’s available on the internet of the so-called “pick up strategies” and think there’s some magic thing to say in every situation to meet a woman.

You know what the magic thing to say is? Sometimes nothing.

Sometimes when you listen to a woman carefully, and when I say carefully I mean listening to what she has to say and reacting to what she has to say. Because when you listen to what she has to say, she will open up to you and become more attracted to you as the minutes pass.

She doesn’t want to hear about the amount of money you make, or the new car you bought, or how good you are at XBox. All she wants you to do is listen and connect with her mind.

If you connect with her mind, she will give you her body. The best sex you’ll ever have is not when you’ve convinced her to have sex with you, it’s when you’ve connected with her mind and it’s her idea. If the sex is her idea, she’ll give you the best sex you’ve had in months.

So how do you turn her on? Well, don’t be a wimp and ask her to hang out with you. Tell her where to meet you . . . and make it somewhere interesting.

Don’t just make a boring reservation at a restaurant. Challenge her to a game of pool – the winner get’s a great massage. Challenge her . . . be gutsy.

Most men are so soft on this issue, and that’s why they get flaked on over and over again. It happens because they did not take control. Women will drop hints over and over again so you take control.

When they drop hints, you need to be the alpha male. You have to have the balls to ask her what she’s really thinking. You can’t play it safe. Most women don’t get turned on mentally or physically by safe.

They want sex as much, if not more, than you. It’s time you learned how to be the alpha male so you can be enjoying real connections with women every single day.

If this is your first reaction then you are a man who is controlled by his little man downstairs.

Women read this energy and run for the hills.

Men always ask me how to escalate sexually within the first few minutes of meeting women.

They think they need to touch or to talk sex to get a woman going.

What I am going to share with you today,is how to engage all of her senses and how to get your mind in control of you and not your penis in control of you!

We started talking about life, women and all the things about which guys usually talk. Then we started talking about sex.

Specifically, we started talking about the differences between how men and women view and react to sex. For example, a man can leave the house at 7:00 am, go off to work for twelve hours, come home and mow the lawn. If at 11:00 pm his partner says she wants sex, what will the man do?

Even if he’s had a long day, the man is going to rally. He’s going to have sex, because a man never turns down sex.

A woman can have the same twelve hour day — whether it’s working outside the home or taking care of the kids. She will put the kids to bed at 7:00 pm, and her partner may try to initiate sex at 9:00 pm.

Many woman in that situation will say that it’s been a long day and she’s too tired to have sex. A woman will turn down sex. Men will never turn down sex.

What I find so funny about this is that women have multiple orgasms. Why would you ever turn down sex if you can have multiple orgasms?

Men have one orgasm. Women can have two, three, four and even five orgasms.

If men had multiple orgasms, they wouldn’t get anything else done. They’d be orgasming the day away and enjoying themselves, and they’d never be able to get any work done.

Forget about household chores. Forget about going to work. Forget about getting the kids off to school. A man would be having sex 24/7.

It is kind of unfair how things are. That’s life though.

When a woman is tired, she tends to say no to having sex. If a woman asks a man for sex, he will never turn down sex no matter how tired he is. We really need to line up the sexes a little better.

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You say to your friend, “Look, man, this woman is not good for you. She’s exactly like Mary was. She’s a taker . . . etc etc etc.” When you do that, how does that other person usually respond?

Well, your friend usually listens to you. Then at the end of the conversation, he will say something to you like, “You know, I never looked at it that way” or “You may be right. I’d like to talk about it more.” You don’t get into a fight with him. You don’t yell and scream at each other.

Now compare that scenario to this one. Say your lover comes to you and says, “I really don’t like the way you’ve been lately. You’ve been really cold. You’ve really not been very affectionate. You used to rub my head all the time, and now you don’t.”

Instead of listening to our lover, what do we do? We become defensive.

We say something like, “What are you talking about? I rubbed your head two nights ago. What do you mean I’m not in touch with you anymore? Just the other day I made you breakfast.”

You start listing things you’ve done, which in turn makes your lover feel unsafe. Do you know how hard it is to go to your lover — your partner — and tell them what you told them?

You’re not saying to them, “You really don’t love me.” What you’re really telling them is, “Your behavior has changed a bit, it’s affecting me and our love doesn’t feel full. So I’m sharing this with you because I love you, and I want you to do these things for me because you’re the only one who can. Now I can fulfill my own needs, but it’s so much more beautiful when you take the time out and rub my head or listen to me after a hard day at work.”

The problem is that we get so defensive. We get defensive because we interpret this as, “Damn, they’re not satisfied. They don’t love me anymore.”

We jump to conclusions. Our egos jump into the mix. Our control issues jump into the mix.

We don’t listen to our lover like we listen to a friend. If we listened to our lover like we listened to our friends, then you would be so entwined with each other that there would be none of this type of ‘tit for tat’ arguments.

Those ‘tit for tat’ arguments in which it is a back and forth of ‘you don’t do this’ and ‘well you don’t do that’ never lead anywhere good. You never have those kind of arguments with a friend.

You don’t ever talk this way to a friend. A friend you love, honor and listen to when they have something to say to you.

Because we’re in a relationship, though, we think our partner is complaining about us when they say the same kind of things. In reality, what they are doing is crying out for something that they need and desire. You are the lucky person who is the one who can give them what they truly need, and the person they are able to be open and vulnerable enough to ask to do it.

When you get defensive and don’t do what they are asking of you, you are basically telling them that you are in control. You are really being passive aggressive, and telling them “I’m not going to do these things you want, because I interpret you asking as complaining.”

The truth is that it is YOU they want all along. So the next time your lover comes to you and tells you the things they need and desire — or maybe the things you haven’t done — listen to them.

Write the things down that they tell you, and start doing them the very next day. Then watch and see the love between you blossom even more. Watch them start doing even more things you want for you. Watch your intimacy grow. If you think you’re having good sex now, just wait!

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When it comes to one-night stands for women, I say go for it! Go have a one-night stand.

They’re amazing for your sexuality. They’ll make you feel free. You’ll have a blast, and I want you to do it with no guilt.

If you choose to have a one-night stand, just pick a guy and have fun. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t allow your friends to judge you.

Sex is something about which we need to be free and open. We need to stop judging ourselves, and start experiencing ourselves.

To the men, if you have a one-night stand with a woman — if she allows you to have a one-night stand with her — don’t judge her. Just thank her for sharing an amazing night with you.

Give her the option of whether or not to do it again with you. If she chooses you to have a one-night stand, just say “That was a great night. I don’t know if you want to move forward and do this again, but I’d like to.” If she declines, thank her for a great night and make her feel wonderful.

So, if you have a one-night stand with somebody, let the other person feel great about it. They chose you for that one-night stand because they thought you weren’t going to be an asshole at the end of it.

The next time you have a one-night stand, thank the person for a wonderful evening. You never know. You might get another one-night stand with that person a few days later.

Why don’t they do the things they used to do during the first six months, like write me love letters? Why don’t they light candles like they used to do? Why aren’t they attacking me sexually in the same way?

Are they just bored with me? Do they no longer want these things?

Why is it that we are so amazing in those first six months of a relationship? Are we trying to impress somebody? Are we trying to win somebody over? Are we being somebody we’re not? Are the first six months just that “amazing” time before all the arguments start and before we get defensive?

In the first six months, we allow ourselves to be emotionally open. We give so much emotionally to our partner.

When you start fighting with each other, however, we take something back. With each fight or misunderstanding after that, we take another piece back. The vulnerability, openness and beauty of those first six months at that point are gone.

During the first six months you would invite your partner to your house, they’d say “Oh Babe, I love coming to your house,” and you would light candles. You do this over and over again during the first six months.

After the first six months, the candle-lighting goes away. Your partner comes over and says, “You don’t light candles anymore.”

Instead of just acknowledging that what they’re saying is true, you get defensive. You could have said, “You’re right, I don’t. I need to start doing that again. I know how much you loved it.” But you don’t. You defend yourself.

Those first six months of a relationship should always be the way I’m describing. It should always be amazing. What happens in those first six months are the reasons why you fell in love with that other person in the first place — the things you used to do for them, the way you came onto them sexually, the way you listened and the way you were patient with them.

It’s amazing, though, how we take things away once the fights and disappointments begin. We don’t even necessarily do it consciously. We do it very passively.

Say that you and your partner touch each other nonstop during the first six months, then your partner stops touching you as much. What do you do?

You start taking some of your touching away. You get angry. You hope that they will notice and think, “Oh my God, he’s not touching me as much. I must need to touch him more.”

The first six months of a relationship are beautiful. For those of you in that post-six months frustration period, however, what you need to do is to go back and think about all the things you did for your lover in the first six months. Then start doing them again, without your partner having to ask you to do them.

I guarantee that if you do this, you’ll not have the whole “taking things away” situation happening anymore. There will be no reason to fight about who is (or is not) doing things for the other.

I challenge all of you who are in a relationship right now, over the next thirty days to do all the things you did for your partner in the first six months you were together. All of them. Every single one. And do them every day.

I guarantee that if you do this for the next thirty days — acting sexually, emotionally, in your communication and in your intimacy the way you did the first six months — and you don’t expect anything in return, you will see your relationship come alive again.

Then watch what your partner will start doing for you. Like magic, they will start doing things you have been wanting them to do for months.

It’s amazing how easy it is to rekindle a relationship, but we all stand on principle so much that we don’t allow ourselves to do the things to make it happen. We’re so about “tit for tat” that we never grow.

So think about what you did for your lover during the first six months, and do them all over the next thirty days. Then watch how the dynamics of your relationship will totally change. It’s a beautiful thing.

Sonja looked at me and said, “Oh my God, a Siamese cat. I love them!” I said, “Me too.”

So we both got down on the ground and looked into each other’s eyes. We had that really great gaze that only lovers can have.

All of a sudden, we got involved in this heavy petting session — right there at the end of the driveway. It was really heavy petting.

That cat kept pushing up against us really hard as we were petting it. It kept raising its ass up in the air because it was loving the heavy petting so much. It kept banging its head against us, to encourage us to continue the heavy petting.

When we left, we were hoping the cat wouldn’t follow us since we had to cross the street. I know after an intense heavy petting session, cats tend to follow you because they are so satisfied.

So why this whole cat story? Well it was inspired by an email I just received.

The email said, “I met up and took a trip with a guy. At the end of the trip, we kissed and had some heavy petting, but no sex. Then he went back to his country. . .”

Heavy petting? Really?

Are we rubbing each other’s heads like cats? Are we touching each other on that certain spot above the ass, resulting in us sticking our butts up in the air? Are we getting down on all fours and saying stupid things to one another so that the other person will touch us with heavier hands?

Heavy petting just sounds so hot. “God, Sonja and I made out the other night. It was so hot. Then, all of the sudden, we were heavy petting . . . ” Come on now.

Heavy petting is the weirdest term in the world. Who came up with that term?

What ever happened to the term “fooling around?” How about saying that you were caressing each other’s bodies? How about saying that you were sexually touching each other? How about just saying kissing and some great foreplay?

When did we become animals? When did “heavy petting” become a term in our common vocabulary? Let’s talk about that today.

In the meantime, I have to go because my girl is looking at me right now wagging her tail and I need to take her for a walk. Wait, actually I am going to do some heavy petting on Daphne my dog, so that she will be extra satisfied when she pees.

Happy Sunday!

Still off on my vacation, and I wanted to give all of you a little motivation to get out there this weekend and start talking!

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Despite this, you tend to listen to this person over and over again when it comes to meeting women. You know what happens every time you listen to this person. You always end up saying the wrong thing.

So here’s how to eliminate this dick in your life. Really, no one should have a dick as a friend, especially someone who has friends like these — a couple of nuts who should be on Prozac and an asshole who is always full of it.

You need to listen to today’s podcast really understand how to immediately eliminate this person from your life.

Click Here to listen now:

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If you missed me in New York, you still have the chance to come out and meet me in Los Angeles this Saturday. I am having an amazing seminar, and you can still grab a ticket by CLICKING HERE. Hope to see you there!

Have a great Thursday!