Well, if he’s into the woman he’s with, what he’s really thinking is, “When can we do this again? Man, that was great! I’d love to do this again, it’ll be even better next time!” They’re actually looking forward to it.
I know when I have great sex, I’ll lay next to my woman and I’ll think to myself, “Man, I really want to do this again.” Or, “I wish I had lasted just a little bit longer because it felt so good and I wanted to keep going.”

When I was younger, I used to always think about whether or not she had an orgasm: “Hmm, I think she did, but I’m not quite sure… I can ask her. But wait, if I ask her, I’m going to sound really wimpy like I don’t know what I’m doing… argh.” A lot of men will think, “Did she come? Did she enjoy it? Was I good enough for her? Was I better than her previous lovers? Did she have as much fun as I did?”
Sex really is a blast. In years and years of having sex, I’ve learned one thing: Communication is the key. It’s okay to ask her, “How was that for you?” But not like an interrogation, like a scientist taking notes. The best way to ask her is to say, “Babe, I really enjoyed that. How was it for you? Is there anything you want to do differently next time? I really wanted to last longer because it felt so good.”

Londons Great Spring Weather

Men’s minds travel in many different directions after sex. Granted, there’s the one-night stand where the man wants to do the Coyote Ugly, where he wants chew off his arm so he can leave without waking her up, where he basically just wished she’d turn into a remote control, where he hopes and prays that she doesn’t want to spend the night. Sure, there are those moments. And in those moments, and if both of you understand that you’re having a one-night-stand, the best thing to do is look at each other after sex and just say, “All right, let’s be honest. There was a lot of passion, a lot of heat, but we don’t really know each other. Is this a one-night-stand we’re having?”

You can laugh. Talk about it. Most of all, be honest, be receptive, and tell each other where you’re at right now. Don’t promise the phone number when you know you’re never going to call her. Be a man about it.
Women: as men, our minds go so many different directions when it comes down to sex. The bottom line is that if we’re into you, we want to know if you enjoyed it as much as we did. We want to know if there’s anything else we can do to make the next experience with you even hotter and more erotic.

Why don’t they do the things they used to do during the first six months, like write me love letters? Why don’t they light candles like they used to do? Why aren’t they attacking me sexually in the same way?

Are they just bored with me? Do they no longer want these things?

Why is it that we are so amazing in those first six months of a relationship? Are we trying to impress somebody? Are we trying to win somebody over? Are we being somebody we’re not? Are the first six months just that “amazing” time before all the arguments start and before we get defensive?

In the first six months, we allow ourselves to be emotionally open. We give so much emotionally to our partner.

When you start fighting with each other, however, we take something back. With each fight or misunderstanding after that, we take another piece back. The vulnerability, openness and beauty of those first six months at that point are gone.

During the first six months you would invite your partner to your house, they’d say “Oh Babe, I love coming to your house,” and you would light candles. You do this over and over again during the first six months.

After the first six months, the candle-lighting goes away. Your partner comes over and says, “You don’t light candles anymore.”

Instead of just acknowledging that what they’re saying is true, you get defensive. You could have said, “You’re right, I don’t. I need to start doing that again. I know how much you loved it.” But you don’t. You defend yourself.

Those first six months of a relationship should always be the way I’m describing. It should always be amazing. What happens in those first six months are the reasons why you fell in love with that other person in the first place — the things you used to do for them, the way you came onto them sexually, the way you listened and the way you were patient with them.

It’s amazing, though, how we take things away once the fights and disappointments begin. We don’t even necessarily do it consciously. We do it very passively.

Say that you and your partner touch each other nonstop during the first six months, then your partner stops touching you as much. What do you do?

You start taking some of your touching away. You get angry. You hope that they will notice and think, “Oh my God, he’s not touching me as much. I must need to touch him more.”

The first six months of a relationship are beautiful. For those of you in that post-six months frustration period, however, what you need to do is to go back and think about all the things you did for your lover in the first six months. Then start doing them again, without your partner having to ask you to do them.

I guarantee that if you do this, you’ll not have the whole “taking things away” situation happening anymore. There will be no reason to fight about who is (or is not) doing things for the other.

I challenge all of you who are in a relationship right now, over the next thirty days to do all the things you did for your partner in the first six months you were together. All of them. Every single one. And do them every day.

I guarantee that if you do this for the next thirty days — acting sexually, emotionally, in your communication and in your intimacy the way you did the first six months — and you don’t expect anything in return, you will see your relationship come alive again.

Then watch what your partner will start doing for you. Like magic, they will start doing things you have been wanting them to do for months.

It’s amazing how easy it is to rekindle a relationship, but we all stand on principle so much that we don’t allow ourselves to do the things to make it happen. We’re so about “tit for tat” that we never grow.

So think about what you did for your lover during the first six months, and do them all over the next thirty days. Then watch how the dynamics of your relationship will totally change. It’s a beautiful thing.

He said, “I was hanging out with Khiem and his girlfriend, and there was this girl we ran into who was one of those loud girls. Everything she said was just over-the-top — amplified and loud. How do I deal with that? I mean, she was pretty. I thought she was hot, but how do I relate to her?”

Here was my answer: You don’t.

It’s so funny. As a man, we are so visual. We get so caught up with “the hot girl” that we tend to really never think about what it would like to hang out with her.

Can you imagine having a woman like the one Will met over for Thanksgiving dinner? She gets asked what she’d like on her plate, and she screams “drumstick!!” at the top of her lungs.

This person does not match who you are. This is not your personality style at all. This is not a person with whom you would get along.

So forget the fact that your penis is attracted to her, because that’s really all that is happening. Your eyes are attracted to her. Your penis felt some movement because it was attracted to her. That is all there is to it though.

It’s called penile attraction. Thank God it’s not fatal, because if it was a fatal attraction then other things would happen.

It is just penile attraction. That is all it is, so walk away from it.

You don’t vibe with her. You don’t relate to her. You two have totally different personalities. So walk away.

There is not one man I know who doesn’t love a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom. We love when you’re sitting in the living room and whisper in our ears “I can’t wait to get you naked and suck your d@!k!” Not only will we rise to the occasion, we will leave a political fund raiser going on in our living room to do the nasty with you.

We love dirty talk! Dirty talk is what keeps us excited. Ask any man who’s been sleeping with the same woman year in and year out. He’ll tell you flat out that he’s bored out of his mind.

Tommy Lee got tired of having sex with Pamela Anderson.

Brad Pitt upgraded to Angelina Jolie (and I think Jennifer Aniston is hotter than Angelina Jolie!).

The bottom line is: If you want to keep your man satisfied, talk dirty to him!

I once dated this woman who used to always threaten me with this: She would call me in the middle of the day and tell me that if I didn’t come over, she was going to masturbate and make me listen to it while I was at work. She would also call me and leave me dirty messages on my voicemail. Did this woman excite me? Absolutely! Did I respect her? Absolutely!

I love a sexually up-front and confident woman. But enough about me . . .

Ask any man out there whether in the bedroom he would rather have a dirty talking slut, or a prim and proper Nancy Drew. The man will take the dirty nasty girl every time. So if you’re a lady, you better start to learn to unleash the dirty hungry girl in the bedroom.

If you need any suggestions, or you want to practice your dirty talk, feel free to send me a nasty email. I’ll let you know whether you’re a good dirty talker.

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