The kiss means absolutely nothing unless you’ve done all the rest of the stuff right. I feel that if you pay attention to what the woman has to say — if you listen, react to her, smile in her presence and enjoy the date — that the kiss is really easy.

Not ending the date with a kiss is so different from how most guys think. I truly believe that you shouldn’t play tonsil hockey at the end of the first date. There is no reason to do that.

That’s a sexual thing. That’s a male thing. That’s an ego thing. It’s a man who is acting like a little boy who feels like he has to prove to everyone that he can get a kiss from a girl.

A real man couldn’t care less about the kiss at the end of the first date. A real man builds attraction by listening to her, talking to her, enjoying her company and asking her out for the second date. Those are the things that a real man does on a first date.

The best “kiss close” you can do at the end of a first date is to look into the woman’s eyes, reach in, give her a kiss on the lips, pull back and smile at her. That alone is so much more powerful that figuring when to jam you tongue in her mouth.

That subtle little kiss, in conjunction with asking her out at the end of the first date, will keep her thinking about you way more than any makeout session. So come on guys, do you want to be a boy or would you rather be a man?

Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist (as most of you well know!), but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.

Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.

So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought . . . ” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.

Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you . . .” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).

You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.

It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”

It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.

The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.

It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.

It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.

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