It’s amazing what a good orgasm will do. I’m not talking about self-administered orgasms.

To tell you the truth, those kind of orgasms are lame. They really are.

It doesn’t take much skill to plug a vibrator into the wall, put it on your clit and fifteen seconds later scream “Ohhhhhh!” as you come. Bravo! Let me give you a standing ovation. Also, to the men out there who are beating off in the middle of the day over the sink with hand lotion they stole from their grandmother, I say get real!

Those are not the kind of orgasms I am talking about here. What I am talking about is the sex you have in a relationship that makes the fights go away.

Now, I’m also not talking about taking off your clothes, humping and getting each other off (basically masturbating inside each other). That is not what sex is all about.

Granted, I’ve had relationships in which the sex was really just about masturbating inside each other. I’m sure all of you have.

What I am talking about here is being connected to each other’s needs, wants and desires leading up to sex. That means tuning in to how your lover needs to be taken.

Are you someone who just needs to be thrown down on the ground in a testosterone-driven rage and be taken while they look in your eyes? Are you someone who needs verbal foreplay? Whatever it is, we are all very different sexually.

We all love the act itself. Who doesn’t love the warmth and the moisture and the heat of that whole experience?

I remember when I was a baby what my first words were to my Mother. I said, “Wow, it’s so warm in your amniotic sac.”

When I slid my way out, I couldn’t wait to get back in. It took me eighteen and a half years to get back inside.

The bottom line here is to know how you are wired sexually. What do you need the most in your lover? This is something I want all of you to think about today.

Do you need someone to seduce you? Do you need someone who will look in your eyes and talk dirty to you in order to turn you on?

Are you someone who likes to get raw and dirty, and just be taken? You want to have dinner, go home and have your lover f*^k the shit out you?

Write down whatever it is that you want and need. This is very important and something that a lot of people overlook.

Like your good friend Dr. David says, “an orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” It keeps the fighting away.

The only issue, and what’s important, is how we get to that orgasm. You may not be aligned with somebody sexually; they may be a totally different sexual type than you are. In that situation you might be having great sex, but it doesn’t mean you are being fulfilled.

So it’s really important before you get into a relationship (or even if you’re in one already), that you are straight about who you are sexually. Be honest about who you are and what you want. This is so important because once you start having sex with someone, it’s very hard (no pun intended) to make changes.

See everyone tomorrow!

What is it about coming home? Why is it such a downer? I have a nice home. I like my home. I love coming back and seeing my dog. I just never want vacations to end. They’re never long enough.

It was sad seeing New Orleans. It’s the second time I’ve been there post-Katrina, and the city still hasn’t totally recovered. I’m not about to go on a political tangent about how the government screwed that thing up, I’m just going to go on to talk about today’s blog topic.

Whether or not you’re getting sex seems to be a fun conversation, so let’s enjoy it. Also, speaking of sex, take a look at the end of this blog because there’s a sneak peek of a very private offer. (I know some of you only read the beginning and the end of the blog, so I didn’t want any of you to miss out on the prize).

Talking about prizes, how much fun was it as a kid to try to get the prize that came in the bottom of cereal boxes before your brothers and sisters could find them? You always knew when my brother had gotten to a cereal box, because the whole side of the box would look swollen. There’s no way to get those toy surprises in a box of cereal without causing some damage.

Sex is kind of like a prize too. So let’s talk about sex and particularly the “third date sex rule.”

It’s the third date, so it’s time to have sex, right? There seems to be a widespread rumor out there that if you get to a third date with someone, then it’s time to have sex.

What is it with this “it’s the third date so it’s time to have sex” thing? Who made up this rule? Who started it? Was it on an episide of “Sex And The City?” I mean, from where did this “rule” come?

I’m going to tell you exactly what the third date means. If you’re really in touch with yourself and the other person, then the third date signifies the point at which you usually know whether or not this is a person with whom you want to hang, get to know better and with whom you want to see if you can establish some kind of relationship.

Three dates with someone will usually tell you if this is a person you want to get to know better, because you’ve probably spent nine, ten or more hours with them by this time. You’ve had a bunch of phone calls with them in between the dates. You’re getting to know them and learn who they are.

For me, the third date always meant that I liked that persosn, I can hang with them and I want to get to know them better. It doesn’t mean that I sit there all uptight counting down the minutes to the end of date one, counting down the minutes in the second date, and then counting down the minutes to the third date when I can try to get her to come back to my house because it’s the third date and we have to have sex. C’mon…that’s ridiculous.

So from now on when you make it to three dates, instead of just thinking about sex why not ask yourself some better questions:

Do I like this person? Do I want to get to know this person better? Is this person someone whom I respect? Do I like their viewpoint? Can I imagine myself doing things with them (e.g., traveling, going out to dinner)? Do we share some of the same interests? Do I enjoy their company? Do I enjoy listening to them? Do I respect what they do for a living?

Instead of just thinking about whether you’ll vibe together in bed, think about whether you’ll vibe together as people. Because if you vibe together as people, the sex will be great. So stop thinking with Mr. Penis, and start thinking with your heart and with your head. Remember that whenever you let the penis do all of the thinking, the penis is usually wrong.

You know what’s funny too? Some people want to have sex right away. They want to live out a sexual fantasy, but they may have NO clue how to make that happen.

Today, I released a product about sexual fantasies (and how to make them a reality) BUT it’s only available to people on my private subscriber list. If you’re on that list, check your email inbox and the link to (and a video I created about) that product is contained in an email I sent you.

If you’re interested in this product and you’re not on my subscriber list, you have to sign up to be able to get it. Signing up is free, easy and fast — all you have to do is put your first name and email address in the box at the top right hand corner of the page.