I’m in Boston this weekend—not really enjoying the cold weather but I always have a blast when I’m up here.  It’s such a college town here, and the streets in Cambridge are always packed with young people at night, so going out at night you never run out of new people to meet.

Last night I was out with a group of friends and we met some very cool women in our hotel who hung out with us for the evening.  One woman I met, who was in town on business, was an incredibly fun person to talk to, just very lively and full of energy.

She was also a very sexual person.  We were talking for a while, and we eventually got to the topic of the things we were passionate about in life.  I asked her what she loved to do, and she replied, “Oh, I’m  very passionate about getting off!”

I had to laugh when I heard that, and I thought it was great that she was being so open with me about herself and her personal life.  So we talked about her getting herself off, ringing the doorbell, auditioning the finger puppets, whatever you want to call it.  Then she lowered her voice a little bit and told me that she had masturbated twice in her hotel room that day—once in the morning, and again before going out.

By the end of the night, we had spent so much time talking about and describing all sorts of sexual things—all those things that she was passionate about—that she was basically ready to jump any guy’s bones around her.  I said to her, “This is going to be a great blog to write about!”  She asked me what would be so good about it, what is it that men could learn from something like that.

A lot of guys don’t really realize just how sexual women really and how high women’s sex drives are. Women are very, very sexual, and they LOVE talking about sex.  If you ever listen to two women who are close friends talk, so much of it will be about sex.  Much more than men.

Women can talk about sex all day long.  Men will play the “Who Would You Rather Bang?” game or sit around and check women out and point out hot women to their friends—but women can really sit there and talk about sex, describe what they like, and recall past sexual encounters in vivid detail in their own imaginations until the cows come home.

Men like to think sex, but a lot of guys have a hard time expressing it—especially around other men or a new woman they’ve just met.  A woman will have a hard time getting sexually aroused in conversation around a guy like that, and it’s not because he doesn’t know what to do or what to say or how to touch or whatever.  It’s because he has a hard time getting in touch with his own sexual thoughts and desires in himself.

Men spend so much time thinking about having sex and trying to get sex, and virtually no time thinking about what it is that they truly love about sex.  What it is that actually turns them on.  So in the end they have no way of expressing their own sexual desires because they don’t know what to say.  They’ve never practiced being open, letting it out, and just talking about it.

So while you guys are going out this weekend, or just relaxing at home, I want you guys to take a minute and be open and honest with yourself about sex.  Tonight, don’t whack off to online porn, but take some time to think and describe all those things that you like.

Do you like the soft feel of a woman’s skin sliding across your palms?  Do you like to admire the curve in her lower back?  Do you like to lay your face in her long hair and take a deep inhale?  Maybe you like kissing, maybe you like cuddling, maybe you like staring deeply into a woman’s eyes while you’re making love, maybe you like banging really hard, maybe you’re into some really weird gross shit I’d rather not hear about—but whatever it is, describe it to yourself in your own head.

What do you love about being intimate with a woman and why?  Maybe you’re inexperienced and that’s fine too, just use your imagination—what would it be like?

Describe the sensations.  Write it down if you want to.  You’ll be surprised to see what you come up with.

Okay, kidding, I’m not going to be in Playboy, but on Playboy Radio. Check out the The Tiffany Granath Show at 3pm EST if you have Sirius XM. It will also be rebroadcast at 3am EST.

It’ll be a sexy time for all.

And when you listen to the show, please let me know what you think in the comments below!

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

I think a great topic that everyone should be talking about this weekend.

The weather is getting cold outside and it is time to start warming up the fires inside.

So how do we warm up the fires that lurk deep inside every woman.

Glad you asked.

Today I am in a pre holiday mood and I have a special video just for all my readers.

Today I am going to share with you the secrets on how to make her sizzle with passion and desire for you.

Not only that I am going to show you how to do this the second you meet her.

Enjoy today’s video.

Are you ready to learn the truth behind her orgasms and what really makes her hot for you. Click here to find out, your going to be even more shocked.

Come on guys! According to this woman, they are on to you. She basically told me that every guy who has ever used this excuse has not only cum too fast the first time, but has also cum too fast on the tenth, twentieth and one hundreth time as well.

There are just some men who have no control, and they choose to have sex this way. Why? The men who have sex this way are self-centered, and sex is solely about them getting off.

When I was eighteen, I had a lot of “Oops! I didn’t mean to cum” moments. Instead of being content with the “oops moments,” I learned how to become an amazing lover. Well, at least, that is what I’ve been told.

It was important to me to become a great lover, and it was important to me to be able to satisfy a woman. I never wanted to be called “Mr. One Pump.”

Bad Sex

Now, granted, there are times when I’ve cum faster than others. Perhaps I was nervous the first time, or whatever the reason may be. As a general rule of thumb, though, I want to make sure the woman I am with is in complete ecstasy before I get there, because that it was really turns me on.

Going by what most women tell me, however, there seems to be a boy band out there and the group’s name is “The One Pumps.” These merry men tend to be men who really don’t care if a woman is satisfied or not. It’s all about them ejaculating as quickly as possible.

Now there are guys who actually suffer from a disease called premature ejaculation. So before all of you get your panties in a knot, I will excuse those of you who suffer from this ailment.

As for the rest of you who are members of the group called “The One Pumps,” you have no excuses. There is a reason why when you’re in a relationship that you have to beg for sex. What woman wants a man who basically slides home, dusts off his pants, and then heads toward the dugout while high-fiveing his buddies . . . all in the span of about thirteen seconds.

Let me also tell you a little thing about sex. Powerful men who can satisfy a woman always get the best blow jobs, because women LOVE to please a powerful man who pleases them. If you are a member of the band called “The One Pumps,” she’s really had enough of you.

So if this is who you are in bed, isn’t it time you understood the art of totally turning a woman on so that you in turn will get some of the most amazing head you’ve ever gotten and will have her begging you for a lot more pumping? I go over all of this in detail in Part VII of my Men’s Audio Mastery Series, and tell you how to be an amazing lover who will leave her begging for sex every time.

So c’mon ladies . . . Let’s teach the men a lesson here. Let’s talk about some of your one pump experiences.

We’re not talking about how you put gas in your car at the pump . . . we’re talking about the ‘oops man’ with his favorite line “Oops! This has never happened to me before!” Guys, they’re not buying it, so you better buy something. You better find a way to become a better lover.

You tell them that it’s the best sex of your life. She’s nurturing, loving and amazing.

Alright, maybe she loses it once in a while. Maybe when she drinks she has multiple personalities — not just one, but three or four. Maybe she’s just a little rambunctious and a little embarrassing at some of your office parties.

That’s all okay, though, because you wake up every Saturday morning and she does things sexually that no one else has ever done before. She wears skimpy little outfits around the house all the time. If you have a rough day, she completely caters to you.

Then one time you disagree with her and have a little bit of an argument in which you contradict yourself about something. So she decides to sneak into your emails and reads them. When you catch her, she tells you she won’t do it again and that she’ll “be a good girl” from now on. She even uses that terminology to make you feel like you’re the daddy — the man in control — and will say to you in a baby voice “Oh baby, I’ll never snoop again. This is the first time I ever snooped.”

I have heard that from these crazy women. The first time you’ve ever stooped? You’re 32 years old, and you just decided today for the first time that you were going to snoop?

These crazy women will lie. They’re never quite sure where they were during the day when you ask them. They manipulate.

If you don’t have enough sex with them, they will give you a play-by-play report of what they did that afternoon with their vibrator. You think it’s so cool. So you decide that you’re going to break the “man law” and date this woman.

The “man law” is that you have sex with the crazies and marry the great ones. You don’t marry the crazy ones, because that crazy woman is going to turn into the crazy mother of your children one day.

Despite the “man law,” you make the decision to date her because the sex is so addicting. It’s great getting hot text messages in the middle of the day when she decides to masturbate in her office while everyone was there.

You love this stuff. She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s fun, but she’s insane. It’s probably like marrying Lindsay Lohan. You don’t marry these women though.

So now your best friend has come to you and told you not to do it. Don’t date this woman any more. Let me tell you what to do in this situation.

The crazy ones only get crazier with age. They don’t get more mellow. Your life will be a life of great sex, but emotional instability.

Just wait until she’s pregnant for nine months, and all the hormones are kicking in. Let me tell you, even the sane ones are insane when they’re pregnant. Wait until she feels fat after pregnancy and you make one comment asking her if she is going to lose the weight. See what happens then.

The crazy ones are great to have sex with, but don’t marry them. It’s almost like when you’re playing monopoly. You don’t want that get out of jail free card with the crazy ones, you want to stay in jail.

Enjoy the sex, but think to yourself, “How stable is this woman going to be with the kids? How stable is she going to be once I move my way up the corporate ladder and we actually win the trip to Hawaii? Do I really want my wife to be topless at the company pool? Do I want her hitting on the other women at the office party?”

It might be hot right now that she’s willing to do all these crazy things, including having her best friend over for a three-way. The problem is that if you marry this crazy woman you might lose out on a lot of other things in life — sanity, promotions and stability.

Take some advice from a friend of mine who once married one of these crazy women. You can’t just them — 50% of what you own (and then some) will be in their pocket. Crazy women are irrational, and if you try to divorce them they get even and they’ll take you for everything you’re worth.

Welcome to your life — the one where you need to choose between being with the sexual dynamo who is a crazy woman, and going out to find one who is just a little more mellow and a little more sane.

What if they decide to crawl over on my side of the plane? Now the great thing about Business class on American Airlines is that you have the built in divider, but when I fly coach its so easy to roll over and and snuggle with the stranger next to you.

Let me ask you a question. When you have sex with someone, does there need to be home field advantage?

Can you be the away team or do you need to be the home team? Do you absolutely need to wrestle in the sheets on your own turf?

There have been times in my life when I preferred to be the visiting team, so that when it was over I could hop on the bus and leave. Nothing is worse after having sex with someone than having to spend the night with them when you don’t want to. So in those situations, being the visiting team is great!

You leave and you can go out for a drink after the game on your way home. That is one benefit of being the visiting team. Another benefit is that you can soil someone else’s sheets, so that when your maid comes she won’t have a heart attack.

Home Bed Advantage

There are some problems though with being the visiting team. There have been times when I have been the visiting team when the woman didn’t mind having sex with her cat on the bed. It kind of freaked me out a little bit.

There I was slowly working my way down her body . . . only to be brushed up against by a purring pussy cat. I said “Can we do something about this cat?” She said “Ignore him.” It’s hard to get excited though when puss in boots is staring directly at my groin.

Another time when I was the visiting team, the woman had one of those yippee dogs. Now, this next part I am not making up. When she started climaxing, rover started howling. I wasn’t quite sure what the connection was . . . and I didn’t really want to hang around and find out.

There are other problems with being the visiting team. They may not have anything good to eat in the fridge. They may get up at 6:00 in the morning when you are used to getting up at 9:00.

I generally prefer to be the home team. I have a dog. She doesn’t howl when someone orgasms and she does not get up on the bed for a three way unless invited. She does, however, need to be walked.

Not only that, but being the home team certainly has advantages. You can brush your teeth with your own toothbrush instead of using your finger. The musical choices will always be your own. There is something I just don’t find attractive about a woman who plays Guns ‘N Roses to get off.

Being the home team also gives you some other benefits. It’s your own bed, so you know the exact spot you can lay in to fall asleep. Also, if you can’t sleep with this stranger in your bed, there is always the Internet to cruise in the middle of the night or a good book to read. Have you ever had insomnia being the visiting team and you had to read Cosmopolitan and Glamour all night?

Another benefit about being the home team is that you can actually create the mood. If you are not into incense burning or sage leaves being waved all around the house, you can do what I do and just light some nice candles and play some music.

Being the home team gives you the advantage of creating any mood you want. Plus, all your supplies are nearby.

The only problem about being the home team is if you do not want the other person to stay after the main event, and you look like an asshole kicking them out. So, as they say in sports, you have to suck it up for the good of the team.

So what do you prefer? Do you prefer to be the home team, the visiting team, or are you like the Super Bowl and you prefer to play on neutral ground like a hotel?

Oh, and it’s different if you are in a relationship. Once you give a drawer to someone, and tell them that your field is their field and your stadium is their stadium, it’s a whole different thing.

So for the occasional fling or booty call, do you prefer to be the home team or the visiting team and why?

I am all about the light. I’m not talking about blaring stadium-type lighting so I can see the crowd cheering me on as I get close to orgasm. I’m also not talking about a spotlight on her face so I can interrogate her saying “Did you cum? Did you cum?!” like a detective from a bad 70′s tv show.

I love candlelight. I love sex during the day. I prefer to have some kind of light, because I do not want to miss the payoff.

Do You Prefer Sex In The Dark

I work hard at pleasing my woman . . . I’ve got to see that orgasm face. Does she shut her eyes? Does she tilt her head a certain way? Does her head turn all the way around like Linda Blair in “The Exorcist?” Moaning is wonderful, but I have got to see my work.

Not only that, having some form of lighting allows me to admire the shape of her body. I also like to look deep into a woman’s eyes during sex.

There are times I don’t mind having sex in complete darkness, like in the middle of the night when you wake up having sex and don’t know where it started. Darkness in that situation is wonderful. After all, who wants to get up to turn on the light when you just woke up and you are enjoying all sorts of great sexual sensations?

I like to see the person with whom I am having sex. I’ve got nothing to hide.

I like when they get up after sex and I get to check them out when they go to the bathroom. If you do it in complete darkness, you might as well be wearing blindfolds.

So, I’m a daylight kind of guy. What about all of you? Do you prefer sex with the lights on, with the lights off, or somewhere in between depending on the mood?

One thing you never want to hear from a woman when you’re fooling around in complete darkness is “Is it in yet?” or “Oops! Wrong hole!”

A client of mine recently reunited with a woman he used to have a crush on in high school, after they found each other on Facebook ten years later. They didn’t know each other very well in school, but they hung recently and hit it off.

They had dinner together, then she invited him over to her place for some drinks. He followed.

The woman had a young daughter, and once the daughter went to bed, my client moved in to try to kiss her. She turned her head away, but they continued chatting. My client immediately thought that she rejected him and that he was put in the friend zone, and didn’t make another move.

A little later, she suggested that he sleep on the couch because they had both been drinking. In the middle of the night, the woman came into the living room and got under his covers and laid down with him. Assuming she wanted to hook up, he then started feeling her up.

She pushed his hand away and said she just wanted to cuddle. Then she slept in his arms for the rest of the night.

Foreplay

The next day my client received a Facebook message from her saying that she was sorry about the situation last night, but it’s not something she does with guys right at the beginning.

Ok, let’s break this down:

My client thought he was in the friend zone because this girl did not want to hook up with him and in his mind, she was sending him mixed signals.

Was he in the friend zone? NO. Was she sending him mixed signals? Maybe, but we’ll talk about why that doesn’t matter.

First, you are NEVER in the friend zone on the first date with a woman. You are not friends with a woman on a first date, so you cannot be in the friend zone. Unless you’ve been hanging out with her for a while with no spark, or she says right in the beginning, “I like you better as a friend,” or “Let’s just be friends,” or something like that, you are not in the friend zone.

So, was she giving him mixed signals here?

Let’s dig into how female psychology works. My client assumed that because she invited him over for drinks that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she offered for him to sleep on the couch that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she got under the covers that she wanted to hook up.

He was wrong each time.

So if she liked him, why didn’t she want to get physical with him? After all, if you’re attracted to somebody, you will want to have sex, right?

Kind of. The problem with my client is that he was thinking too much like a man. If you’re a typical guy, the only thing on your mind is the shortest point from the tip of your penis to the entrance of her vagina. You’re attracted to a woman, you want to have sex. Period.

Not so fast with women. Sure, just like men, some women will be horny right then and there and are just craving some action. Even for women who are looking for a relationship, she may be really attracted to the guy and act on impulse and sleep with him, and still want a relationship with him later on.

There is no hard rule. Every woman is different, just like every man is different, and it all depends on where they’re at in life.

A young girl in her 20′s may be really concerned about finding the right guy and want to move slowly because she wants to be romanced and to feel special. Another girl in her 20′s may be sexually open or going through a phase where she wants to sleep with a guy right away. Some women are looking for relationships and will hold off on sex until they’re in one. Some women have been burned in the past and don’t want to get hurt again. Some have children and are looking for a guy who is stable and dependable, who will be there when she needs to call on someone for support. Some women have freed themselves up sexually and all they want right now is sex (the infamous “cougar”).

But most of the time, and this is the biggest lesson a lot of guys need to learn if you really want to turn her on, is that YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SLOW. Emotions and fantasy have to take time to cultivate and they come into play slowly, not overnight. You have to keep your pants on. You have to lead my taking small steps, being the one to end things first and knowing when to leave, letting the sexual tension build, and giving her space.

You have to be patient with the woman you’re with. Just because you’re turned on does not mean that the pants need to come flying off. For a guy, sex is the goal. No sex? Fail. For a woman, intercourse is not the goal. Cuddling counts. Making out counts. Oral sex counts. Feeling turned on and emotionally connected, these things all count as part of the bigger picture. So don’t get discouraged if she tells you to put the breaks on because you’re moving too fast. A lot of times if you get shot down, you need to listen to what she’s telling you. She’s saying she wants to take it slow and get to know you better, not that she doesn’t like you.

You need to let the sexual tension build up, you have to let her feel comfortable and safe around you, you have to let her know that you are actually interested in her as a person, interested in spending time with her, and not only that you want to have sex with her. You make sure that she knows you’re still going to be around for round two, round three, and round four.

So forget about mixed signals coming from a woman. You have to assume that she’s interested in you sexually if she’s inviting you over to spend time with you.

If you make a move and instead she wants to cuddle in bed with you the first time, that’s ok. Let her feel safe around you and build up your trust level.

If it’s the third or fourth time and she’s still pushing you away, you need to man up and ask her what’s up. She may not actually like you. She may have some hang-ups that you deserve to know about. Be up front and open. Tell her you’re into her, that you want to be intimate with her, and find out if she just wants to take things slow or if she’s not actually attracted to you.

But if you’re getting shot down the first couple dates and she still wants to see you again, that’s actually a good thing, not a failure. You’re making progress, you’re being clear with what you want, and it’s time to slow it down and take control by taking smaller steps instead of trying to go from 0 to 100 in one night.

Today, I take a trip down memory lane for you guys and tell you exactly how I lost my virginity.

 ”Nervous” is not a strong enough word for the feelings I had swirling around inside of me over that brief (but seemingly very long) two-day period in my life.

How David Wygant Virginty

What? you may be asking.  How does it take someone two days to lose their virginity?  Did it take me 2 days of begging, pleading, and convincing some poor teenage girl to give in to me?  Or was it due to my complete lack of sexual skill at the time that made the whole ordeal last 2 days?

Listen to todays podcast, and you will realize that stressing out so much about sex is completely not worth it.

If you want to gain the knowledge from my 30+ years of sexual experiences to make sure you aren’t making the same mistakes all guys make in bed and ensure you aren’t nicknamed “the 1 pump chump”, click here…