So today, I decided it was really time to bring bush back. We have a double standard going on out there in the world about bush, just look at how the Heisman Trophy committee treated another famous Bush.

It seems perfectly okay to most men to walk around with the biggest bush in the entire world. At the same time, most men think all women should be shaved, neat, and clean. Some men even like their women to look like ten year olds with no hair down there at all.

Men get angry and irritated if women aren’t totally clean down there. Many men feel totally comfortable, however, walking around with bushes the size of Lawrence Hilton-Jacob’s afro in Welcome Back Kotter. For those of you too young to appreciate Welcome Back Kotter, picture the worst 70′s afro you can possibly imagine. That is what many men are walking around with every day inside their pants.

Then there’s the oral sex double standard when it comes to bush. It’s perfectly okay to most men that a woman who goes down on them ends up spitting pubic hairs for 25 straight minutes. Men will actually get annoyed, however, when women have to pause to remove the pubic hairs from their mouth.

A lot of men won’t even go down on a woman if her bush is as wild as a 70′s afro. Men will ask their friends how they can bring up the issue of shaving with a woman who has a bush like this. Men will even have a ‘shaving party’ with their girl, and bring a razor and shaving cream.

Men will be turned off by the least little bit of hair down there on a woman, but yet so many of those same men walk around with a huge bush. The double standard is unbelievable.

Here are some things to consider for all the men who don’t trim their bush. First, women don’t want to go down on a guy with a huge bush. They don’t want to be swallowing your pubic hairs.

Second, and I swear by this, trimming your bush makes your dick look like it’s an inch longer. Who in the world doesn’t want to appear to have more size? If that doesn’t motivate you and your ego to clean yourself up down there, nothing will.

There’s a couple of different ways to meet people on the beach. One of the best ways to do so – and you can do this on the lake too – the only place you can’t do this is at a pool.

So if someone is sitting there on a blanket, of course, you sit down next to him or her. You put your blanket down next to theirs, and you do the old, “oh man, I forgot my sunscreen. Can I borrow some?” This is always a great way to open up somebody.

Another good way to do it is to bring some Frisbees, balls, and other things, and have a Frisbee toss with your buddy. Of course, let the Frisbee fall onto their blanket – or near their blanket, don’t hit them on the head or anything! But let it fall directly near their blanket, and then look at them and say, “oh man, my buddy has a bad arm. Could you do me a favor and whip it back at him?”

Get them engaged in the game. People come to the beach to have a good time, so get them engaged in the game.

Another thing to do, which I love, is go down in the water and put your toes in the water. Of course the water will be a little on the chilly side in the beginning of the summer, and if a woman walks up to the tip of the water, you look at her and say, “alright, I’ll race you in! Winner buys the lemonade. Ready? One, two, three,” and make it a game. Start running in a little bit and look at her, and if she hasn’t started running, turn back and say, “aw, come on, what are you, chicken?”

Play a game. Be like a little kid going to the beach. “What are you, chicken? Come on, I dare you. Let’s go. I’ll give you a head start.” Have some fun with it. You race them into the water; you have a little bit of fun.

One of my favorite things to do at the beach is go to the store and buy a bucket full of little kid stuff. Buy a shovel, a rake, buy some animal figures to create sand monsters; buy different sized buckets to create sand castles. Go to the edge of the water, pour all of your toys out, and start building a sand castle.

You want to see people gravitate over to you? Give each person a task. The minute a woman looks at you, you say, “alright, fine, you’re going to be the Block Girl.” “Alright, fine, you work the rake.” “You build the moat.” It’s about having fun. Everything is about really having fun and doing something different.

Another way I really like to meet people at the beach is by going to a store that has really fun beach towels. Maybe they have a Spongebob beach towel, or a Smurfs beach towel, or whatever it is. Get the biggest, funniest beach towel you can possibly have. Get two of them, actually, and spread them out on the beach, and use them as your towel.

Now you have something to talk about. A woman walks by, and she looks at you and says, “Spongebob, man, what are you? Ten years old?” You can say, “it’s the beach, come on! It’s about having fun and being a child again!” It’s just about lightening up. It’s the summertime, and you can just have a good time.

Another thing you can do is bring a cooler full of water, and you can basically have extra water for people. So when some one walks by you, you can offer them some water. They look in your cooler, and you can say, “hey do you want a bottle of water? I’ll give it to you for a buck. I’ll charge you a buck for that!”

It’s about having fun. Everything is about being different; everything is about having fun. Everything is about being unique. So stop being so uptight and have a good time at the beach!