But in relationships, the sex can get monotonous. Daily life gets in the way and everything else just kind of fades into the background. Do you ever get to a point in a relationship where you just feel like you’re stuck? You’re not hearing each other. You’re not connecting each other emotionally. You always know what you need when you hit that point in relationships.

What you need to do is get away from everything. Kids. Work. Bills. Day care. Diaper care. Whatever it is. Even if you have no family, you just need to get away from work, from your friends, texting, iPhones, all the distractions in life. You need to go on a fuckation.

That’s right: a fuckation. What’s a fuckation, you ask? It’s where you do nothing for 48 hours but fuck each other. You book a nice hotel online, and you get out of town for the weekend. Actually, you can do this anywhere. You don’t even need to get on an airplane or even leave town, really. You can just do this on the other side of town. You drive a half hour away. You pick a point. Say, “Honey, we’re going to drive for 30 minutes and once that 30 minutes is up we’re going to exit the first right and we’re going to find a hotel. We’re going to check in, and we’re going to do nothing but stay in bed, fuck, order room service, and have fun.

It’s called a fuckation because sometimes you just need to leave everything else behind and reconnect on the most basic level. Sometimes you need to stop all of life’s activities and really take the time to do nothing but enjoy one another without distractions.

So here’s what you need besides a hotel and a vehicle to get yourselves there: you need to bring some body lotions, some massage oils, some candles to set the mood. Lingerie too, even though it’s all about staying naked for 48 hours. No clothing allowed. The only thing you’re packing in your overnight bag is a toothbrush and clothing that you can return in. Actually, screw that. Don’t even pack that. Just return in the same clothes you wore on the way there.

The only things you pack in your overnight bag are fuckation toys. Adult toys. Bring a vibrator along, handcuffs, whatever floats your boat. Try out something new you’ve never tried before. Scented oils, bubble bath soaps, foot lotions for foot massages. Maybe a book you can read to each other while taking a bath. Maybe some Netflix DVDs to watch while you’re resting between marathon lovemaking sessions.

Hot Vacation Sex

Order as much room service as you want. Really spoil yourselves. But if you order food, make sure you include food that you can eat off each other. Order strawberries. Order chocolate syrup. Maybe bring a few bottles of wine or champagne. Maybe some liquor if you guys like doing shots—but if you do shots, make sure they are body shots off of each other. Try some tequila body shots, they’re great fun. You put a lime in your partner’s mouth and sprinkle a little bit of salt on your favorite part of their body. Lick the salt off their body, take the shot, and then suck the lime right out of their mouth.

Be creative on your fuckation. It’s all about letting loose and having sex. It’s all about reconnecting, having a blast with each other, and realizing that you don’t need anything else except for each other to keep you happy and satisfied. So let your imagination run wild. And no phones! Granted, for those of you who have kids you need to check up on, you can do that. But that’s it, and you can do so only after a nice, long love session.

If you’re stressed out, your relationship isn’t going that great and you’re losing touch with each other, you need to take a break and get away. So suggest to your partner that you need to take a fuckation. Tell them what the ground rules are. Make each lovemaking session last. Better yet, think of it as one long 48-hour love session. Take the time to massage one another from head to toe. Massage each other’s toes and fingers; take the time to get to know each other’s bodies all over again. When you slow things down and dedicate the time to one another, you’re going to discover each other in brand new ways. By the time you get home—in the same clothes you came in—sex is going to be far more interesting and a lot more fun, because you will have learned so many different things about each other sexually and some new exciting ways to turn each other on.

You take a deep breath. You sigh, say, “Well . . . maybe not tonight, I’m comfortable right now. I’m cozy in my house.” So you get undressed slowly. Maybe wash up a bit, run a bubble bath. You slip into your pajamas, maybe slip on your little shorts and a comfy oversized t-shirt.

Now you’re starting to get in the mood a bit. You put on some soft music, dim the lights down, and you say to yourself, “Hmm . . . maybe I’ll get my toys out tonight and have a little fun. I’ll go out next week to meet someone special, but for tonight it’ll just be me and my electronic toys to keep me satisfied.”

So there you are, another night, home alone with your electronic toys.

But as you’re home alone stimulating yourself with your toys, you start to think how you’re almost addicted to the whole thing. It’s just easier than the effort you have to put in to go out and get some real human contact. “This is ridiculous,” you say to yourself. “I really need to stop relying on these toys to satisfy my needs. I should really force myself to go out, meet new people, find someone who I connect with, and then I wouldn’t be so electronic-toy-dependent.”

So you stare at the toy you’ve got in your hand and think to yourself how you can stop using this thing. It’s always so fun with it. It allows you to dream and to fantasize in any which way you want. So how do you break up with it?

Two Guys With Man Vibrators

You need to say to your toy, “How do I stop you from sucking me into your world? Damn you, electronic toy! You’re killing my social life, and it’s time for me to cut you off! I don’t care if I can play golf as Tiger Woods, and I don’t care if I can be Michael Vick in Madden NFL. You’re killing my chances and meeting people. Damn you, X-Box, stop sucking me into this electronic world!”

If you’re one of those guys that gets stuck in electronic gamer-land and you’re frustrated about your social life, it’s time your really started limiting your electronic toy time and went out to meet some new people. There is no X-Box game that teaches you how to meet women. There’s no X-Box game where you can go and practice your conversation skills with women. Really the only thing your X-Box does is ruin your chances at becoming a social person, you’re allowing yourself to rely on your electronic crutch so much that you don’t even care about the real world out there that’s so much more fun to play in.

So the next time you get the urge to mentally masturbate inside your X-Box, I suggest you go out and start talking to people instead. Every time you’re about to reach for the electronic toy, head out instead and break that X-Box habit.

How many people really hump on Hump Day? How many people are going to get humped on Hump Day?

Today I want to talk about sexual myths. You know all the classic ones. Men can always get off fast, or why do all women take so long to cum.

How about the myth that there’s one method to please every woman? I love when I read the articles with titles like, “The Surefire Way To Get Your Woman To Orgasm Tonight.”

I also love the articles in Cosmopolitan telling women about “The 3 Ways To Drive All Men Wild In Bed.” More often than not when I read those I think that at least one of those things is something I’d never want done to me (and might even drive me away).

It’s amazing how many myths there are out there about sex. Recently one of my competitors was charging $1,500.00 for a program which claimed to teach men how to get any woman to orgasm in thirty seconds or less.

I don’t need to spend $1,500.00 for someone to tell me to buy a vibrator. I mean, a Hitachi Magic Wand is many women’s best friend. I’ve seen some women pray to that thing.

There really are so many myths and misconceptions about sex . . . and about women’s sexuality in particular. Today’s podcast is going to tantalize and tickle you in different ways. You may learn new things or you may not.

You may learn a surefire method to have great sex on Hump Day, and you may laugh and realize that so much of what you hear is, well, the answer to that lies in today’s podcast. So click here and listen now!

Also, If you want to learn more about how to be an amazing lover who has women wanting more and more of you, and also want to get to eavesdrop on one of the world’s top sex experts as he is giving his lover orgasm after squirting orgasm, then be sure to check out my “Sex With The Masters” program.

The Discovery Channel has Shark Week. Is this going to be “Ass Week” here? Is the week before Memorial Day going to annually be “Ass Week?” If you really think about it, it already is.

Women are in the gym working on their ass and trying to get it ready for bikini season. Men are in the gym checking out all the women’s asses. Women are also going to be going out shopping for an outfit for all the Memorial Day barbecues going on, and they will all be asking their friends “Does my ass look fat in this?”

So now I think that from this year forward, the week before Memorial Day will be “Ass Week” on the blog. In keeping with this new tradition, tomorrow I will have a podcast all about how not to be an ass when you’re out meeting women.

Also, if you want a nice preview of “Ass Week,” check out this great ass-related blog from times past:

With June Around the corner and I am sure some of you have to endure a wedding or two, lets talk about the ultimate wedding gift to every couple I know getting married. You’ll never guess what it is.

I go to a sex toy shop and put together what I call “The Lover’s Package.” I get them the best G-spot stimulator/vibrator, the best clitoral ring, outfits to wear, handcuffs, silk handkerchiefs to tie each other up…

You and I both know that after a long time with someone, sex may need some creativity.

Not only that, but this is the only wedding present that they’re ever going to remember!

I give this gift to every single person that is getting married. I’ll spend $100 or $150 and get them some stuff that they will actually use!