Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist (as most of you well know!), but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.

Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.

So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought . . . ” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.

Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you . . .” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).

You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.

It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”

It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.

The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.

It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.

It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.

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If you’re not on my subscriber list and want to get on it (so you can get in on these specials in the future), simply sign up in the box near the top of the page (for my “Naked Truth Dating Secrets” subscriber list).

Now when I say “let go,” I am talking about you being able to be open about your needs, asking for what you want, and being that crazy person in bed you’ve always wanted to be. This goes right into today’s blog topic.

So let’s get right into this topic and see if we can get the controversy going again…

I was thinking today about sex. It’s not like I don’t ever think about sex. I actually enjoy thinking about sex. There was one thing I was thinking about that was really interesting.

I want you to ask yourself this question: In your sex life, how easy is it for you to let go?

When your lover goes down on you, how is easy is it for you to let go? How easy is it for you to totally give into them, and to let them do whatever they want?

Can you just “go with it” and really just enjoy it? Can you accept that they get pleasure and enjoyment from bringing intense pleasure to your body? Are you able to do these things?

You know what’s funny, is that so many of us (men included) have trouble having an orgasm from oral sex. It’s true. There are men out there that just will not cum from a blow job.

I think it’s all about self-control. Think about it.

If you know how to please your lover, you should really be pleasing your lover on a regular basis. I mean, who doesn’t want to be pleased? Who doesn’t want to experience the beauty of an orgasm (and the beauty of an orgasm from your lover’s mouth)?

So if you’re having trouble climaxing with your partner, you need to think about the reason why that is so. What do you think about when your partner goes down on you?

Are you releasing everything? Are you holding anything back? Are you in control of yourself? Are you over-thinking it or do you just go with it?

In order to really be able to orgasm with your partner — especially during oral sex — you really need to be able to totally let go. If it takes an extra ten minutes one night, who cares? If it take an hour to cum and you’re enjoying it, who cares?

It’s all about having that intimacy, and the greatest thing about intimacy is letting go. Each day you can get more intimate with your partner. You can get more intimate in every way.

So why hold back? There is no reason to ever hold back sexually from your partner. It’s a lesson that I think all of us need to learn.

Are you a guy who walks around with your penis in your hand? When you go on a date, are you totally ruled by the power you’ve given your penis all these years? Are you so obsessed with sex, that all you think about on a date is getting the woman in the sack (instead of getting to know her)?

Are you a guy who knows how to transition to sex? Do you read books about how to transition to sex?

Are you always consumed at the end of a date trying to get an extra squeeze or play some serious tonsil hockey? Do you sit around with your friends and wonder how to make “the move” on a woman you’ve been out with two or three times?

Are you so in your head on a date, that every time you touch her it’s so not natural that she gets turned off (although what you’re doing is technically correct)? Do you actually think about when to hold her hand, or when to touch her back or anywhere else to create sexual tension?

Did you answer yes to any of these questions? If so, then welcome to the world of being run by your penis and not being run by what’s going on in the moment.

Today’s podcast is an interview I did with my friend Vince Kelvin. I’ll be speaking soon at this year’s PUA Summit. I’ll be talking all about transitioning to sex.

Let me tell you something. Today’s podcast will take your penis out of your hand and out of your head, and you’re finally going to learn how to connect with women organically so that sex is her idea (or, better yet, is mutual).

No more wondering when to have sex or how to transition into sex. It’s going to be as seamless and beautiful as watching Drew Brees throw six touchdown passes against the lowly Lions.

Every time Brees fades back to pass, he has the chance to make a touchdown. By learning how to connect with women, you can seamlessly transition into sex with women.

It will be natural. It’s also exactly what women have been wanting from mankind since Oogabooga the caveman went into his cave and dragged Oogaboogette out by the hair, letting his penis do the talking instead of giving her what she really wanted . . . a nice dinner with some chilled dinosaur caviar and a nice warm pterodactyl stir fry.

This is going to be the podcast that will change your sex life forever. Enjoy!

Click HERE to listen now.

Oh, and ladies, please don’t thank me again. You girls can listen to the podcast too and really help with the comments on today’s blog.

Also, for those of you who want to really become a great lover, be sure to pick up a copy of my Sex With The Masters product.

How many people really hump on Hump Day? How many people are going to get humped on Hump Day?

Today I want to talk about sexual myths. You know all the classic ones. Men can always get off fast, or why do all women take so long to cum.

How about the myth that there’s one method to please every woman? I love when I read the articles with titles like, “The Surefire Way To Get Your Woman To Orgasm Tonight.”

I also love the articles in Cosmopolitan telling women about “The 3 Ways To Drive All Men Wild In Bed.” More often than not when I read those I think that at least one of those things is something I’d never want done to me (and might even drive me away).

It’s amazing how many myths there are out there about sex. Recently one of my competitors was charging $1,500.00 for a program which claimed to teach men how to get any woman to orgasm in thirty seconds or less.

I don’t need to spend $1,500.00 for someone to tell me to buy a vibrator. I mean, a Hitachi Magic Wand is many women’s best friend. I’ve seen some women pray to that thing.

There really are so many myths and misconceptions about sex . . . and about women’s sexuality in particular. Today’s podcast is going to tantalize and tickle you in different ways. You may learn new things or you may not.

You may learn a surefire method to have great sex on Hump Day, and you may laugh and realize that so much of what you hear is, well, the answer to that lies in today’s podcast. So click here and listen now!

Also, If you want to learn more about how to be an amazing lover who has women wanting more and more of you, and also want to get to eavesdrop on one of the world’s top sex experts as he is giving his lover orgasm after squirting orgasm, then be sure to check out my “Sex With The Masters” program.

Is he a guy who just takes longer to get to that “commitment place,” or is he a guy who is never going to commit? There are ways to tell. Here are five ways to tell if your guy is never going to commit to you:

1.You Are “Weekday Girl”: Have you ever been with a guy for four months, and yet you have never spent time with him on a weekend day (or night)? Sure, you occasionally go out together to dinner or a movie. In reality, though, you are nothing more than a booty call. Here’s something you need to know about men. When a man loves a woman, he wants to show her off to the world.

2.You Haven’t Met His Friends: If you’ve been with a man longer than thirty days and he hasn’t shown off yet to his friends, he’s just sleeping with you. When a man is really into a woman, he wants the whole world to know. We all made fun of Tom Cruise when he jumped on Oprah’s couch proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes, but we all want that moment. We all want the moment when we say that we’ve met the most amazing woman.

3.You Are “Convenience Girl”: It may sometimes take thirty days and even up to sixty days for a guy to start introducing you to his friends and incorporating you fully into his life, but if it’s been four months than you have just been “convenience girl.” Being a “convenience girl” means that you have been someone he keeps around for when he has nothing better going on, yet he’s smart enough to lead you on with the dangling carrot of occasional promises of more to come.

4.He Is Always Too Busy: If a man is telling you he has to work all the time or that he doesn’t have time for a relationship, what he is really saying is that he doesn’t have time for a relationship with YOU. He has plenty of time to have you over late at night or for a business trip with his friends (which, of course, really is not business). If you’re waiting for this kind of man to commit, he never will.

5.You’re With “Lazy & Immature” Man: If a man is into you, he will never put his friends ahead of you . . . unless you’re dating “lazy and immature” man. You can spot this guy right from the get-go. It’s usually the guy who is 30 years old and has his entire place furnished with hand-me-down furniture. His place looks like he has the boys sleeping over every night. He is actually proud of having expired milk in his refrigerator, and hopes one day he can laugh when one of his friends accidentally takes a sip from it.

In reality, if you’re sleeping with any of these type of men, you are with a man who is not going to commit to you. Let me make this really clear: When a man is committed to you, he wants to share it with the world!

A man who is going to commit to you wants to show you off. If you feel like you’re being hidden in the back of the closet like that plaid shirt your mother gave you that you don’t want to wear, it is because that man doesn’t want to commit to you.

The question this guy asked me was this: “David, My girlfriend won’t sleep with me. Is that ok?” The whole dinner conversation about this email really came down to one thing — Who am I to tell this guy if it’s okay or not?

So I sent this guy a responding email in which I told him that my high school girlfriend also wouldn’t sleep with me, but that being with her was one of the best experiences of my life. All we did was engage in foreplay for nine months. That, in turn, really made my sex life as an adult different than it might have otherwise been because I learned in those nine months how to be all about pleasing a woman and making a woman feel good.

A friend of mine who got laid all the time in high school is one of the most selfish lovers I know. All he cares about is getting off.

So I concluded my email by telling this guy that he should enjoy what he’s doing with his girlfriend. He should appreciate what this is going to turn him into as a lover.

You have to be really careful whom you go to for advice. The advice you take from someone can shape or change your life for the good or (too often) for the bad.

What if you turn to a friend for relationship advice who has a history of being involved in awful relationships, and that person gives you the worst advice in the world? If you listen to that awful advice, that could cause your whole relationship to go right down the tubes.

As someone who gives advice for a living, what you say can have a major impact and long-term ramifications. I realize what a power that is over people’s lives.

Something I always challenge everyone to do — in my courses as well as in everything I teach — is to look deep inside, because the answers are always inside you. I am constantly challenging people to look inside themselves and to start trusting themselves.

So today, I’d like everyone to refrain from emailing anyone (including me and your friends), resist the temptation to call someone for advice, and spend the day asking yourself the tough questions. Write down your issues and problems on a piece of paper, and also write down the solutions.

Today is a great day to see inside yourself, and realize that the answers are within — whether they’re right or wrong. If they’re wrong, then the resulting experience is something you need to have and learn from for the next time.

So today, really look deep inside yourself. Resist the temptation to hit the send button on that email to me or anyone else. Resist the temptation to make that phone call. Resist the temptation to pour your heart and soul out to someone at lunch or dinner.

So spend today deep inside yourself, and realize the answer is within. This advice I’m giving you I give to myself whenever I have an issue or problem through which I need to work.

At the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself. Take a look in the mirror, and embrace and trust the person staring back at you.

This will be a very powerful Saturday for all of you.

So in today’s blog I’m going to talk about a female client I helped to see that she needed to eliminate certain things that were holding her back sexually, and talked to her about how to eliminate some of the sexual demons in her head.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a client. She’s a woman in her early 30s who, for the first time in her life, wants to start experimenting sexually. She is learning about who she is and what she wants sexually with a man.

As we were talking, I told her that there are a lot of women who don’t give themselves permission to have great, fun and crazy sex because they believe that most will judge them if they do. The truth is that if you do have sex like this, that some men will judge you.

If you are the type of woman who wants to experiment sexually, then you need to find a man who is going to embrace who you are and what you’re all about because a judgmental man is never going to understand you. Why do you want to be with somebody who judges you?

If you all of a sudden want to have a sexual relationship with a man, then you should be able to have a sexual relationship with a man. There are no boundaries except the ones you put on yourself.

Why are you going to allow other people to put boundaries on you, when the whole point of exploring yourself sexually is so you can be boundary free? It’s the whole reason you make the decision to explore yourself sexually in the first place.

With each lover you have, you learn more and more about yourself. As you learn how to please a man, you will learn how you want to be pleased.

So then in the long run when you’re ready for a relationship, you’re the lover you always wanted to be and you’re going to find the kind of lover you’ve always wanted to find. That’s what exploring yourself sexually is really all about.

So for those women out there who want to experiment sexually, I say go for it. Enjoy it!

If while you’re doing that you run across men who judge you, those are not the men for you. Those are men who are going to impede your growth as a sexual person, not help you to become the kind of sexual person you want to be.

Did she come? How do you know if she came?  

You know I’ve done a lot of different blogs about orgasms. I’ve done blogs on faking orgasms. I’ve done blogs talking about how to give women a great orgasm.

The questions really is, though, did she come? How do you know if the woman you’re with actually had an orgasm?

Some women only seem to have orgasms from the clit.  Other women can have orgasms both from intercourse and from clitoral stimulation.  

The problem is that a lot of women expect to have the same kind of earth-shattering orgasm from intercourse that they do from their clit. The thing is that during intercourse, orgasms can be more subtle, relaxing and mellow. They are also more distinct.

If you’re inside a woman and you feel her walls start to tighten around you, and starting to expand and contract, you’re guaranteed that woman is having an orgasm. It’s a nice orgasm. It’s a peaceful orgasm, but yet still an orgasm.

If you need confirmation, then keep going and hitting that same spot inside her. If she does it again fifteen or twenty seconds later, then she’s having a multiple orgasm.

Some women have learned how to have g-spot orgasms where they actually squirt. They scream, they yell and they have a release like an orgasm from the clitoris.

The clitoris is actually the leader of the pack when it comes to pleasure. The clit orgasm is a little pleasure button on top of a woman’s vagina that was designed for nothing else but pleasure.

The clit is the captain of pleasure, and the vagina will soon follow. I was originally going to try to tell you all of this in a funny way, but after speaking with a friend of mine today he reminded me how many women don’t even get that that there could be so many subtle ways of coming.  

The fact is that as a man, we only have one way to come. We go, we pump, we scream, we yell, we have an orgasm.  It’s very distinct.  

Women, you can have subtle orgasms and you can have earth-shattering orgasms. I mean, I have always had woman-orgasm envy.

I know if I had one wish, I would have a vagina for the day. If I did, I would just come all day long. I’d also learn every distinctive orgasm that a woman can have so that I could take take that knowledge and turn it into amazing sex with all my partners.

So back to our original question: How do you know if your girl is coming? You can always ask her. You can also be intuitive and you can feel, because when a woman is coming you can definitely feel it in every way.

They ask me things like this: “David, I don’t understand what I’m allowed to share with a man. I’m a sexual being. I really just want to go there and enjoy myself and find a lover, but what can I talk about with my lover in bed? Are we just talking about sex? Are we just talking about dirty texting each other? Are we just talking about the things we want? Sometimes I just want to share with my lover my day, or I want to share with my lover something that’s going on in my life.”

Here’s the difference between a lover and a relationship. I consider a lover to be somebody with whom you can get together to have fun. You get to share secrets with each other. You get to have a great time in bed. You share a wonderful evening together and experience what it’s like having this temporary relationship.

It’s just a relationship that temporarily satisfies you that night. When you and your lover leave the bed and you both go to work the next day, however, that conversation does not go further.

That conversation goes further in a relationship, because that’s what a relationship is all about. When you’re confessing things in bed in a relationship, you almost always the very next day want to send an email or have another conversation.

You want to take the conversation further, recap the prior night’s conversation or take that conversation to the next level. A relationship involves exposing the depth of who you are as a person.

You’re exposing that depth, and you’re going deeper and deeper into that relationship. You’re exploring each other more and more. So those confessions in the middle of the night when you’re in bed lead to more stimulating conversations the next day and lead to more personal discovery.

So when you find a lover, go ahead and confess away and talk about whatever you want. If you don’t want your lover to be a relationship, though, then don’t carry those conversations into the next day, because those kind of confessions are only for people with whom you want to have a relationship.

That’s the biggest difference. Trust your lover, and grow with your relationship.

This is the third installment of my new Tuesday “Q&A” blog format . . . except that this week it’s coming to you on Saturday. If this is the first Q&A blog you’ve read, these are blogs where I’m posting answers to questions submitted from my newsletter subscribers. Each blog answers a question from a man and a woman.

So if you have not submitted a question and want me to answer something for you, I am accepting questions. The only limitation is that you need to be on my newsletter list to be able to submit a question (It’s a “subscriber-only perk!”)

If you are on my newsletter subscriber list and want to submit a question for me to answer, all you have to do is to respond to any one of the newsletter emails with your question. It’s fun, simple and easy!

If you’re not on my newsletter subscriber list and would like to be, all you need to do is go to the blue box at the upper right hand corner of each page of this website and submit your name and email. It’s that simple! Then as soon as you receive your first newsletter via email, you can submit your question!

Now, let’s move on to today’s questions!

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**Reader Question 1**
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Hi David! i have been following you for a long time now.  I have found ur information better than any mystery method.  I remember you once said in a blog to email me any excuses you have on approaching a woman.  The one i have kills me to death.  

Please don’t laugh but i have PE or Premature Ejaculation.  Sex for me lasts 30 sec to minute.  How can one approach a women, get her number, have sex with her that lasts a second and keep her?  

Any advice would help me with this struggle.  Its a struggle that has almost pushed me over the edge.  all i could use is a push in the right direction.  Thanks

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**My Answer To Reader 1’s Question**
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Hey Matt, that’s a great question!

There are a couple things you need to do, but let me tell you this first: premature ejaculation will end. It’s not going to be something you’re stuck with for the rest of your life.

One of the things to make sure you do so that women don’t get as bothered about this as you think they’re going to be, is a lot of foreplay. You need to go down on her. You need to bring her to orgasm with your mouth and your fingers.

You need to spend time playing with her, teasing her, and maybe giving her erotic massage where you touch her whole body.  Make sure you spend a good hour just giving her a massage before you even touch any of her private parts or even a breast. By doing this, you’re going to be able to please her. 

Here’s another thing you can do. After you please her, you’re going to want to have sex. So what you need to do is have sex slowly. Try having sex with the lights out, because if you can’t see her then maybe you won’t have premature ejaculation as quickly.

When you’re having sex slowly, try just concentrating on what she’s feeling. You just relax, breathe, take it slow.  Don’t worry and don’t think. 

The last thing you need to do is to realize that is not something that’s going to last a long time. You might have premature ejaculation now, but in the future you may not have it.  So don’t worry about it.  Everybody has a time in their life where they come too fast. 

So, really, I think really you just need to relax.  Enjoy it, and really spend a lot of time pleasing her.  Then what happens is that she’ll understand your issue, and she’ll help you get past it.

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**Reader Question 2**
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What are your thoughts on guys claiming sexual harassment…

I was kind of flirting with this co worker at my job and we were sharing the smiles, the real ones not the I am friendly ones and he sends me this blank email forwarded from another co worker right, so I email him back and try to open him up, ask him about christmas etc.  O.k. in the 1st email he was asked to give a student a “pep talk” to get them back on track with studies.  I wrote that I would wanted a “pep talk” to used the quotes cause I was using the same wordage she used.  He totally got offended and would not talk to me for 3 days.  I didn’t know that till much later but from that point on, all my playful banter was basically forwarded and annotated to suggest I was harassing him. 
 
I was trying to talk to him, gave him a nickname Viking boy, teased him about a piece of cake he missed out on.  I mean that is it, the guy just totally freaked and complained to my boss.  Which was embarrassing enough because I didn’t mean anything raunchy just friendly, I know you can’t read all the emails but I only sent like 4 over one week and nothing in there was suggestive.  Save a nickname.  I know you would have us keep going out and practice, but I am so floored by his reaction, I have stopped going out and smiling and talking to people.  That sucks.  What are your thoughts?

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**My Answer To Reader 2’s Question**
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So you’ve got this awkward situation at work with a guy with whom you were flirting and just having some fun. Here’s the thing. 

You gave him a nickname and you teased him about a piece of cake he missed out on in reference to you. The reason why he freaked out about this, was because you went from just talking to really becoming sexual with him.

Nicknames are all about sexuality.  Anytime a woman teases a man and calls him a nickname, there’s a sexual undertone to it.  I’m sure you were looking at him too. You knew you were flirting. He probably was not interested, so when you started flirting more heavily with him he just freaked out.

Here’s the other major thing I see that happened here. So after this, you stopped going out, smiling and talking to people? That’s ridiculous. This is a one-time thing that happened.

This is what I don’t understand about people who are single. They will try something once and if it doesn’t work, then they just shut down. I call it going on hiatus. I mean, think about it. This is a one-time thing that didn’t work. There are no 100% guarantees in life.

Think about your career. Think about professional sports athletes. Nothing we do is 100%. So you got blown off one time. Keep going! Don’t stop. Flirt with men and have fun.

It’s not always going to work out, but you are going to meet somebody a lot faster if you do it every single day and you don’t allow the rejections to get to you. Shutting down is the biggest mistake you can possibly make because it means that you’re not open to the wonderful world of meeting somebody.