Everybody wants to be the boss. Everybody wants to be paid like the boss, but no one wants to excel like the boss.

How many times do you look at how much money your boss makes, compare it to what you make, and think to yourself “I work my ass off. Why does he get to make more money than me?”

Perhaps it is because he built the company from the ground up. Perhaps it is because he hustles every single day and he deserves it.

Build your own company if you think you can do better. That is what I did.

I used to work for people, but I thought I could do better. So I went out and built my own company. I basically ate pasta and butter, and begged and pleaded as I built my own company.

So many people want to be compensated for mediocrity. They try to get five things done in one day, but they only do a mediocre job doing each of those things.

I tell people all the time that if you want to get good at something, learn to be great at one thing at a time before you work on doing other things. Once you perfect that one thing, then move on to doing something else and do it until you can do it perfectly.

As I mentioned in a recent blog, you can’t multitask in life unless you learn how to do each task perfectly first. I am tired of mediocrity. I don’t like mediocrity, and neither should you.

So the next time you look at someone who is good at meeting women, don’t be jealous or upset. Just go out there and perfect one skill that will help you become just as good with women.

Pick just one thing at a time. For example, go to the grocery store and learn how to be the best at meeting women at the grocery store.

The next time you look at your boss thinking he is overpaid and he gives you a list of things at which you can get better, think about how you should respond to him. Instead of being jealous, lazy or unappreciative, prove yourself to him.

Become great at one thing, and then take on the daunting task of becoming great at something else. If your boss tells you that you’re lacking in an area that is a part of your job description — whether it’s that you don’t bring in business, you don’t know to sell, you’re not a good marketer or whatever it might be — then you should go and work overtime to be great at that skill because that is how you get compensated.

Too many people in life feel like they just deserve things. They don’t have a good work ethic.

Get a good work ethic and you will earn respect. If you come to someone with your hand out looking for money and you don’t have that good work ethic, that person will lose all respect for you.

Get good at everything you do. Make a list of five things at which you want to become great, and then tackle one of those things at a time.

If it takes a month to get great at that one thing, then so be it. Just be sure to focus on that one thing until you master it, and forget about the other things while you do.

Hope this was a big kick in the ass for you guys today. I know some of you need it.

This is such a common issue and such a big problem for so many guys, that I wanted to address it here in the blog. Monkey chatter is something you can conquer.

First, you have to really get deep with yourself. You have to make a list of everything those voices in your head say to you.

Write them all down. In fact, grab a piece of paper or get on your computer right now, even before you finish reading this blog and get them all down.

As you’re writing, answer these questions. What do the voices say? How do those voices make you feel? Write all of that down.

Second, I want you to go in front of a mirror and say out loud what those voices do to you. I want you to say it over and over again until you smile, laugh, crack up and just unwind.

I want you to read it out loud in front of a mirror every day, because this will eventually get you to see that those voices are just the fears and excuses behind which you are hiding. You’ll see the monkey chatter for what it is: crazy talk.

Now don’t get me wrong. We’ve all had monkey chatter in our heads at one time or another, and we’ve all hid behind those fears and excuses.

Seeing yourself do it in the mirror, however, will get you to remain in the moment when you’re in those situations where the monkey chatter might get to you. Imagine you are standing there thinking about approaching and talking to a beautiful woman you see. Instead of hearing the monkey chatter in your head, you will see yourself speaking those words you said to yourself in the mirror.

You will start smiling and laughing and the whole interaction with that woman will change. The whole energy of that interaction will be different. You’ll start feeling better about yourself, better about the moment and you’ll stop taking yourself so seriously.

That’s one thing that I found worked for me. Why don’t you give it a try and see how it works for you.

For those of you want to get technical, I have a herniated L5 disc. They basically offered me two treatment options. I can either try therapeutic treatments for another three months, hoping for some miraculously different result than I’ve gotten doing exactly that for the last year. My other option is to have a new type of miraculous microsurgery which supposedly is only an hour and a half long outpatient procedure.

Let’s not talk today about the condition of my back in today’s blog. I want to talk about something much deeper that affects all of us. You know, a lot of us only scratch the surface in our life.

We tend to look and react to things that happen. We get angry because of what someone else does (or doesn’t do). Someone doesn’t call you back or whatever it may be. We react only to the immediate cause of things.

You get snippy with people you love. Do you ever have days where people you love want to reach out and help you, and you get snippy with them?

I’ve spent the last three days snapping at everyone. Granted, I was in pain and really having a difficult time with my back.

I decided to go deeper to discover what the cause and the root was of the problem. It wasn’t just my back. In life, we have constant reminders that these root causes exist. We see pattern and lessons that come up over and over again.

We have that same fight that happens time and time again. You make up and say you’ll never do that again, and yet it seems to happen again. What happens and the reason these things repeat themselves is that you’re looking to the other person’s actions and what they did to you that caused the fight.

In life, though, you have to look at what YOU did, why you’re angry and why you’re feeling something. You need to do this because when you’re angry at someone, it is really you being angry at yourself or at something you’ve never confronted.

Sonja was away this week. She offered to stay on both Saturday and Sunday, and I turned her down. So, of course, when I woke up on Monday morning I was angry at her. I needed her and I kept wondering how she could leave me.

That was on the surface. Even though she offered to stay, I made her leave so I would not act angry at her. I was really angry at myself for not letting her help me.

To find the real root cause of it, I had to go deep inside myself as a person. I had to go deep inside to figure out why I refuse help from people who love me.

I went to the root of my anger, and realized it went back to when I was about three and a half years old. That’s when my brother Mark died of crib death at the age of nine months. The only thing I remember is coming home after staying overnight at my grandmother’s house, seeing the empty crib and seeing my mother’s pain.

If you go deep inside your core, you’ll discover the memories you find — those imprinted on you as a kid — you’re still living and still are affecting you.

For the next ten years after my brother’s death, I became the parent. I had a father who had no love for anything but the NY Jets and his golf clubs.

I had a mother who blamed herself for the death of my brother, and only gave love in short segments and only if I needed something. She’d give me a hug if I needed one, but it always had a time limit on it.

So I learned at a very young age to be very self-supportive, and to not ask for anything from anybody. I also at a very young age learned how to nurture and to take care of others. My mother even told me yesterday that the only thing that kept her living after my brother’s death was my love for her.

I’ve always been a better giver than receiver. So for the last four days, Sonja has done nothing but reach out to me and I’ve shut her down. Jacob flew in to help me work with a client (and to help me), and I’ve had him walking on eggshells the entire time. Kristen has done nothing but email to try to cheer me up, and I’ve done nothing but be short and angry with her.

I need to apologize, but not to the people who love me. When you have this situation, you need to love and accept yourself, because until you let go deep from your core you’ll still have the same things happen over and over again.

This may have been the most personal blog I’ve ever written and shared with you. The reason I can, is because I know you will appreciate it, understand it and be able to relate to it.

Every lesson you share with others gives them the courage to love and to grow. So be good to yourself, and apologize to yourself for whatever is deep inside your core.

I grew up in a family of suppressors; a family that would sweep everything under the carpet instead of talking about it. When you’d walk into the Wygant household, you’d trip on everything that was under the doormat. I realized yesterday through one of our powerful conversations, that in my own personal life I do some suppressing of things when something bothers me.

When something bothers me, I’ll either make a joke or be sarcastic about it. Then I’ll hide it in the bowels of my subconscious, and walk around with a feeling of irritability inside me for several days. Now I know the warning signs and have to take action so I no longer sweep things under the Wygant rug.

We all are constantly working on ourselves. We all are constantly challenging ourselves. If you ever think the job is done, you’re so wrong. If you feel you’re done everything you need to do, then your life is full of people who do not challenge you to be a better, stronger and more dynamic person.

A nice, quiet and really amazing Indian man named Ajay is in the Bootcamp this weekend. He said to me “It’s nice to see David Wygant real, and that you actually have problems too.”

We all have problems. What makes me able to teach, coach and write about all this is that I’m still working through things in my own life as well. Everyone is. We’re all flawed.

So enjoy a nice little flawed Sunday (See, a little sarcastic remark has to come out!)

Oh…and one last thing. Daphne is flawed as well. She has low self-esteem issues at times. If you want to know more about Daphne’s occasional self-esteem issues, however, we’ll have to do a whole other blog on that!