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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
This is interesting. How many of you live a life about which you are absolutely not passionate?
You go to a job. You date someone to whom you are not attracted. You may not even like your dog. Whatever it may be, how many of you can’t speak about your life with passion?
If you can’t, do you know why you can’t? It is because you are really not in love with who you are.
Passion comes from within. People who speak with passion, speak from power that comes from within themselves. Meaning, they love everything about themselves.
They’ve accepted their insecurities. They’ve accepted their fears. They’ve accepted all these things about themselves, and they have embraced themselves.
Today’s podcast is going to teach you how to speak from a place of true passion and how to live a passionate life. This is a “must listen” to podcast. It’s that important and that big.
I can’t even adequately express in writing what I want to tell all of you. You need to hear me talk about it in today’s podcast. So I’m just going to stop my fingers from typing on the computer right now, and I’m going to give you the link for the podcast so you can listen to it right now.
Click here to listen:
If you want to learn about my personal journey to self-love, and how to go on that journey for yourself, be sure to check out my “Self-Love” Audios which are part of my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Tags: advice, computer, david wygant, fear, insecurity, lifestyle, live with passion, Mindset, self help, self love, tips
Posted in Life Style 101, Mindset | 36 Comments »
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
Let’s talk about fear on this Monday.
Monday Monday, can’t trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how could you leave and not take me…
Do you remember that song “Monday, Monday” by The Mamas And The Papas? How about these lyrics from another great Monday-related song:
It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
‘Cause that’s my funday
My I don’t have to runday
It’s just another manic Monday…
It’s really interesting. I got an email this morning from a woman who listened to one of my products, but who never went out and did anything to apply what she’d heard on the product.
She emailed me asking me for a refund saying that the product is just “not for her.” I emailed her back and told her that she can’t expect anything in her dating life to change just from listening to something, and that she would have to take action and put what she heard into practice.
Are you someone who listens to products or reads books expecting change to happen to you as you’re on the couch in your pajamas? No matter whose product or book you get — whether it’s mine, Tony Robbins’, Wayne Dyer’s or someone else’s — the answer lies within you (see Saturday’s blog for how I feel about that issue). You can read self-help books until you’re blue in the face, but if you don’t practice what they teach then your life will never change.
Here’s a funny story. A friend of mine worked at a book store and had a gentleman come to him one day and say, “I really want to ask you where the self-help section is located, by if I do then I won’t be helping myself. So let me go and find it.”
Everything I write and put in my products works. How do I know this? I know it because it worked for me, and because it has worked for every single person who has put it into practice.
How many of you were great at reading the DMV manual on how to drive a car, but ended up parked on the sidewalk when you were asked to parallel park during your road test?
I’ve heard it estimated that only about 10% of people who pick up a book actually read it all the way through, and only about 30% ever read past the first chapter. How many of you will pick up a self-help book or program and pat yourself on the back for taking the action to get it, but then will only get through the first volume or chapter (which was probably just an introduction about the author) before saying “This just isn’t for me?”
Then there are those of you who will try what you read or hear in a program, but will only try it ONCE. Then if it doesn’t work that first and only time you try it, you will say “See, it didn’t work!” It’s almost as if you want to have validation that it’s the program and not your failure to put in the effort.
Can you imagine where Mark Cuban would be now if he gave up the first time he failed when he tried a business? If he had this attitude, do you think he would own the Dallas Mavericks basketball team like he does today? Successful people fail every day. Unsuccessful people don’t fail because they often don’t try, and because they usually have either the “See, it didn’t work!” or the “Poor Me” attitude.
So many people pray every day for a miracle to happen in their life. Really, though, the miracle you’ve been waiting to happen is you. It’s you trying everything you’ve learned, and trusting yourself and the person giving you the advice.
For some of you, it’s just another manic Monday wishing it was Sunday. Others of you are praying for a miracle every day.
As for me, I wake up on Mondays with new goals, things to learn and new things to embrace. It’s amazing. It’s all about your attitude, and some of you have an attitude problem.
Some of you are “poor me’s.” You read, you listen and you study. You don’t try, and then you’re determined that it’s not you that is the problem.
It would be like if you want to be a great swimmer, but you don’t want to get wet so you just lay on the couch and envision yourself swimming. You can see yourself stroking through the water, but yet every time you go to the beach you don’t get in the water because the water is too cold, the sun is behind the clouds, or you look bad in your bathing suit. Then you go back to the couch and picture yourself swimming against Michael Phelps in The Olympics.
I used to be afraid of diving in the water as a kid. My counselor at summer camp kept telling me I had to bend all the way down and then I’d be able to do it. (Ahhh, remember the good old days before herniated discs when you could bend all the way down?)
I remember the counselor bending me all the way down and then tapping me on my ass or my back. (Oh the days when they could do that without worrying about being sued or called a pedophile … F&*%’n lawyers!) Anyway, he would do that (in a completely non-sexual way) and I’d roll right into the water. That’s how I learned how to dive in the water and how I got over my fear.
The bottom line is that you have to get off the couch. You have to get out of theoryland, you’ve got to trust . . . and you’ve got to just get out there and do it!
So when I get emails like the one from this woman this morning, I think “Why are you not even trying? Why are you not going out there and even doing one thing to give what you listened to a chance to work?
Fear is paralyzing, but there are certain words I never want to hear any of you say. In particular, I never want to hear any of you say “I can’t,” “I won’t” or “I’ll try.” You should instead be saying “I’ll do it, “I can” and “I will.”
You don’t need a miracle today, and this is not another manic Monday.
Tags: Dallas Mavericks, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, Manic Monday, Mark Cuban, Michael Phelps, Monday Monday, self help, The Bangles, The Mamas And The Papas, The Olympics, Tony Robbins, wayne dyer
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce, How To Ask For A Date | 12 Comments »
Friday, May 29th, 2009
The phone rings and you hear the dreaded words “We need to talk.” Then you get the knock on the door, your significant other comes in, and everything spirals down from there. The next thing you know, you’re hearing “We just aren’t connecting the way we need to be” or something similar to that. Whatever the specific phrase is, someone has just broken up with you.
Let’s face it, it’s never good to hear any form of the words “We need to breakup.” If you are hearing those words, though, then you need to know two things. First, you need to know that this happens every day to people (and not just you). Second, and more importantly, you need to know that you can and will feel better.
So let’s talk about what you can do to not just temporarily feel better, but to really get over a breakup. Here are 6 steps to get you totally over a breakup.
1.Ditch The “Poor Me” Syndrome: The first thing you need to do is to stop thinking about all the things you could have done to prevent the breakup. Don’t think about that one time you didn’t call, or about whatever you’re thinking about in this mental mind game through which will be tempted to put yourself.
Instead, really think about why the relationship didn’t work out. There is no one particular event from the past that if you changed it would change the breakup outcome. Breakups are the result of a series of events. So dig deep and think about what this relationship was really about, so that you can embrace the lessons it has for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
2.Avoid The Alcohol: Right after a breakup, it may make you feel better to go out drinking with your friends and ‘trash talk’ your ex. The next morning, however, you are going to actually feel even worse. Your friends have great intentions. It would be better for you, however, to go out with your friends and do something fun that doesn’t involve alcohol. Spend the time with your friends really talking about how you feel and having your friends listen.
3.Go Ahead And Grieve: It’s perfectly alright to grieve after a breakup. It’s actually healthy to cry and to grieve when a relationship ends. So don’t be hard on yourself if you want to spend a week crying your eyes out and being really sad. It’s really is quite healthy to get all of that out of your system. The people who suppress all their feelings about a breakup and never allow themselves to grieve are the ones who will never learn the lessons they need to learn from the experience.
4.Put It Down On Paper: Do some journaling and write down all the things you’re thinking and feeling about the breakup. After you’ve shared your feelings with yourself for a few days, you’ll start to notice that you are feeling better. You will be better able to discover the deeper issues that caused the relationship to end. You will also learn what lessons there were for you in that relationship, and become much more clear on what you really want and need in a relationship. So start journaling and start being really honest with yourself.
5.Don’t Give In To “The Replacement Theory”: There are many people who mistakenly believe that the best way to get over someone is by finding someone else to replace them. I call this “The Replacement Theory” of dealing with a breakup. Unfortunately, this strategy will not help you really get over a breakup, and may actually cause you more pain in the future.
Do not start dating someone new too soon after a breakup. Do not start looking for the next relationship before you’ve taken the time to get over the one that just ended. The people who start dating too fast after a breakup usually end up repeating the same failed relationships over and over again. This actually leads me right into my last step.
6.It’s All About You: After a breakup, spend at least thirty days just doing things that you love. Connect with friends. Take long walks. Go and work out at the gym. Do whatever it is that you really enjoy. Do things that are good for you. This time should be spent getting yourself healthy and embracing yourself.
Breakups are hard, but it’s in the aftermath of a breakup that our greatest lessons are learned. If we can learn the real issues that caused the breakup, then we won’t repeat the same failed relationship again. So stop blaming yourself and start looking deep inside yourself. When you do that, you will not just “deal” with a breakup. You will truly get over it.
Tags: Breakups, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, getting over a breakup, Goals & Aspirations, healing after a breakup, how to get over a breakup, self help
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce, Goals & Aspirations, How To Be A Better Communicator | 14 Comments »
Thursday, May 28th, 2009
Let’s talk about anger, because the last five days I’ve been a really angry person. It’s not, however, for the reasons you may think. It’s not due to the the things I’ve had going on with my back, and it’s not about waiting for my MRI results.
For those of you want to get technical, I have a herniated L5 disc. They basically offered me two treatment options. I can either try therapeutic treatments for another three months, hoping for some miraculously different result than I’ve gotten doing exactly that for the last year. My other option is to have a new type of miraculous microsurgery which supposedly is only an hour and a half long outpatient procedure.
Let’s not talk today about the condition of my back in today’s blog. I want to talk about something much deeper that affects all of us. You know, a lot of us only scratch the surface in our life.
We tend to look and react to things that happen. We get angry because of what someone else does (or doesn’t do). Someone doesn’t call you back or whatever it may be. We react only to the immediate cause of things.
You get snippy with people you love. Do you ever have days where people you love want to reach out and help you, and you get snippy with them?
I’ve spent the last three days snapping at everyone. Granted, I was in pain and really having a difficult time with my back.
I decided to go deeper to discover what the cause and the root was of the problem. It wasn’t just my back. In life, we have constant reminders that these root causes exist. We see pattern and lessons that come up over and over again.
We have that same fight that happens time and time again. You make up and say you’ll never do that again, and yet it seems to happen again. What happens and the reason these things repeat themselves is that you’re looking to the other person’s actions and what they did to you that caused the fight.
In life, though, you have to look at what YOU did, why you’re angry and why you’re feeling something. You need to do this because when you’re angry at someone, it is really you being angry at yourself or at something you’ve never confronted.
Sonja was away this week. She offered to stay on both Saturday and Sunday, and I turned her down. So, of course, when I woke up on Monday morning I was angry at her. I needed her and I kept wondering how she could leave me.
That was on the surface. Even though she offered to stay, I made her leave so I would not act angry at her. I was really angry at myself for not letting her help me.
To find the real root cause of it, I had to go deep inside myself as a person. I had to go deep inside to figure out why I refuse help from people who love me.
I went to the root of my anger, and realized it went back to when I was about three and a half years old. That’s when my brother Mark died of crib death at the age of nine months. The only thing I remember is coming home after staying overnight at my grandmother’s house, seeing the empty crib and seeing my mother’s pain.
If you go deep inside your core, you’ll discover the memories you find — those imprinted on you as a kid — you’re still living and still are affecting you.
For the next ten years after my brother’s death, I became the parent. I had a father who had no love for anything but the NY Jets and his golf clubs.
I had a mother who blamed herself for the death of my brother, and only gave love in short segments and only if I needed something. She’d give me a hug if I needed one, but it always had a time limit on it.
So I learned at a very young age to be very self-supportive, and to not ask for anything from anybody. I also at a very young age learned how to nurture and to take care of others. My mother even told me yesterday that the only thing that kept her living after my brother’s death was my love for her.
I’ve always been a better giver than receiver. So for the last four days, Sonja has done nothing but reach out to me and I’ve shut her down. Jacob flew in to help me work with a client (and to help me), and I’ve had him walking on eggshells the entire time. Kristen has done nothing but email to try to cheer me up, and I’ve done nothing but be short and angry with her.
I need to apologize, but not to the people who love me. When you have this situation, you need to love and accept yourself, because until you let go deep from your core you’ll still have the same things happen over and over again.
This may have been the most personal blog I’ve ever written and shared with you. The reason I can, is because I know you will appreciate it, understand it and be able to relate to it.
Every lesson you share with others gives them the courage to love and to grow. So be good to yourself, and apologize to yourself for whatever is deep inside your core.
Tags: anger management, apologize, crib death, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, inner love, love, love advice, root cause, self help, self-improvement
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce, Goals & Aspirations | 20 Comments »
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
Jason Voorhees is coming at you right now at summer camp holding a gigantic knife. Freddy Krueger is pulling you into the bed. Bruce, the mechanical shark from Jaws, is swimming right toward you at top speed.
The Bogeyman is actually in your closet. Remember when you were a little kid, and you were absolutely terrified to look under your bed because you thought the Bogeyman (or that evil clown from the movie Poltergeist) was hiding under it?
Remember all these terrifying moments as a child? You just couldn’t look inside that closet no matter what because you were truly afraid that the Bogeyman was hiding inside of it.
Do you know who the Bogeyman really is? Go to the mirror right now. Look in the mirror. Go ahead and take a good look in the mirror. YOU are the Bogeyman!
That’s right. You are the Bogeyman, because every fear that you have ever had in your entire life has been manifested in your own mind. Every fear. Every single one of them.
What is the Bogeyman in your head? Even more important, what is the biggest, scariest Bogeyman in your head?
You may have a fear of approaching the opposite sex. If you do, that is your Bogeyman.
You may have a fear of intimacy when you get close to somebody. If you do, then that is your Bogeyman.
You may have a fear of asking somebody out or calling them back. If you do, then that is your Bogeyman.
All of us need to learn how to eliminate the Bogeyman, because the Bogeyman is actually the scared little boy or girl that you really are.
Today’s podcast is not only going to blow you away, (and will make you think and laugh more than you have in a LONG time!) . . . but I have a very secret message that is at the very end of it. So be SURE you don’t miss it!!
Also, if you want to know how to get rid of that Bogeyman who lives in your head, check out my Men’s and Women’s No Excuses programs — In them, I take you through MY own journey and tell you how I got rid of my Bogeyman. I also show you step by step how to breakthrough and overcome every Bogeyman in your own head and get rid of them for good!
And for those of you who are a member of my private members site. Check out the video I posted today on the Bogeyman. This is a classic video!!
Tags: boogyman, confidence, fear, help, overcome fear, self help
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce, Goals & Aspirations | 121 Comments »
Thursday, April 16th, 2009
What do you do when you don’t meet your goals?
Many of you are really hard on yourselves, and I want to talk to you about this today.
So you set a goal. Let’s say your goal was to lose 20 pounds by May 1st. Or your goal was to go out and meet 30 women – or date 25 people – whatever it might be.
What do you do when you don’t meet your goal? Are you kind? Are you accepting of yourself? Do you reevaluate your goals and the path that you took? Do you make the necessary changes to meet your goals?
Or are you someone that is so hard on yourself that you basically beat yourself up for a week? Do you say to yourself, I can’t do this; I wasn’t even able to meet my goal!
If you didn’t meet your goal, it means that your game plan was not right. It doesn’t mean that you should quit, and it doesn’t mean that you should stop. You don’t have to stop the journey that you are on. You just have to reevaluate the game plan – there was simply something wrong with it.
But if you are someone who will give up just because you didn’t meet your goal – you have to look deeper. Look deep within yourself, and ask yourself this question: why didn’t I meet my goal? What happened? What were the circumstances that didn’t allow me to meet that goal? And what can I do differently to attain this goal in the future?
And you need to consider that your goal might not have been realistic. If your goal was to go out on 100 dates in three months, and the most dates you’ve ever been on in a three-month period was five, you have to be more realistic.
Make yourself smaller goals that lead to a larger goal. When you set your big goal, do you have small goals in between to keep you on track?
So what do you do in that situation? Instead of beating yourself up, I want you to take a look at your goal and create a whole new plan, including little steps along the way, so you can achieve that larger goal.
Tags: doubt, goal setting, How To Be A Better Communicator, insecurity, power, self help
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce, How To Be A Better Communicator | 51 Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
I am going to call some of you out by name today, and am going to call the rest of you out who are not being mentioned by name by challenging you to talk. To a.movie, you are 100% correct – you’ve come to this blog to be challenged.
That is how I set up the blog to be. I set up this blog to challenge all of you to get out of your comfort zones, and start meeting and experiencing people like never before.
(more…)
Tags: challenge, kickball, personal development, recess, self help
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce | 123 Comments »
Friday, March 20th, 2009
There is this rumor going around with all of these spiritual books, “Write down what you want, and you will attract it.”
I love that shit. They’re offering you a shortcut! Do you remember that book The Secret? Write yourself a check for a million dollars, and it will just show up!
(more…)
Tags: big dick, dating tip, inner confidence, mcdonalds, self help, the secret
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Divorce | 37 Comments »
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