This Friday’s blog was going to be another tip from me on navigating the bar scene. I was going to talk about cockblocking, but I’ve been reading some of the recent comments on the blog, and instead I want to write today’s blog in response to some of the comments. We’ll talk about cockblocks next week.

So you’re on the blog reading all this great advice about how to meet women, how to date, and how to get yourself into a relationship. Problem is, when you go out there in real life, you can’t put any of the information we give you to use because you’re not actually meeting anyone. There’s no women around when you go out. Or you can’t approach. Or you do approach but you keep getting No-Thank-Yous.

Why is this happening to you? Maybe you think you’re ugly. Maybe you’re short. Maybe you drive a shitty, beat-up car. So you tell yourself that women are turned off by all of this. They’re so turned off by you. What women are really attracted to is a guy with a full head of hair, 6’2”, and a vacation house in Miami.

Do you have what it takes to get the woman you desire?

And you just can’t compete with a guy like that. You’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, and all the dating advice in the world isn’t going to change the fact that you’re just not attractive to women.

So you come on the blog and you say, “Screw you David, screw you Shogo, screw Intern Dan, whoever, you give us all this esoteric mindset advice on how to be confident, but all the confidence in the world is not going to make up for the fact that I’m short, fat, bald, and broke, and the cold hard truth is that women are turned off by that.”

You want to attract a lot of women? You want to be a lady’s man? If that’s what you want, here’s the news:

Looks matter. Height matters. Money in the bank matters.

That’s right, all these things–and much much more–do in fact make a difference when it comes down to attracting women. But there’s only so much you can do about any of that. You can’t change it, so why on earth spend another minute dwelling on it?

(And more importantly, all the looks and money in the world will only get you so far in your success with women, but that’s another blog for another day.)

What you need to do is take action and do something about the things that you can actually improve on. And more importantly, you need to let go of the things you can never change about yourself.

You really need to let it go.

You hate your height and you’re bitching about?

Fine. You’re short. I get it.

What do you want from people? Unless you’re willing to go to China to have metal rods implanted into your shins, there is nothing anybody in the world can do about that. There is absolutely no use in you dwelling on the things you don’t like about yourself and beating yourself up over the fact that some woman out there who you don’t even know isn’t going to date you for it.

Is it true that if you’re 5’6”, you will never have a girlfriend who only dates men over 5’10″?

Yes, if that is an absolute requirement for her, that is true. You will never date a woman like that.

Is it true that I, Shogo, will never date a woman who will not go out with an Asian man?

Yes, that is also true. I am Asian. I will never be able to date a woman like that, not for the rest of my life.

The difference with me is that you will never see me sitting around, bitching and moaning about it. I don’t dwell on that for a single moment. I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want me. It doesn’t upset me in the least.

And simply having that mindset automatically makes me more attractive to more women.

Here’s an exercise I want everybody to do:

Get out three sheets of paper. On one sheet, write down all the things about yourself that you don’t like. Take your time with it. And be specific. Don’t just write, “I’m ugly.” Write, “I don’t like the acne scars on my cheekbones.” Write things like, “I don’t like the extra flab on my belly.” “I am 4 inches shorter than I’d like to be.” “My penis is 2 inches shorter than I’d like it to be.” “I don’t like the fact that I have few friends.” “I don’t like my disheveled haircut and dandruff.” “I don’t like my glasses and my dorky wardrobe.”

Write all of that stuff out. Make the list as long as you want and take your time doing it.

Now review that list. Read through each item. On the second sheet, I want you to rewrite each thing that, with some work, you could actually take steps to change about yourself. On the third sheet, rewrite each thing that is a permanent part of you and that YOU CANNOT EVER CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Review that third sheet. Look at it and internalize it. This is who you are. This is who you are for the rest of your life and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

You need to embrace it. You need to love every single thing you wrote about yourself on that third sheet. This is who you are.  These are the things that will never change about you, so fuck anyone who is unwilling to accept you for that. But the first step starts with you accepting yourself and accepting all of your little ugly bits.

You are who you are, guys. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. Change the things about yourself that you can change, and embrace the things about yourself that you cannot change.

It makes me think about an email I get from so many people. An email that says, “There’s nothing abou tme that people find attractive.”

Let me tell you something. There is everything attractive about you.

We all have attributes and things that are uniquely “you” that are fantastic and amazing. The problem is, though, that people are not satisfied with who they are.

There are things about myself that I don’t like. So what do I do? I make sure the things I like about myself look fantastic. That’s what everyone needs to do.

Maybe you don’t like your body, but there is something about your body that is amazing, fantastic, sexy and uniquely “you.” Maybe you have amazing eyes, or maybe your hair is great.

Whatever your strong points are, you need to emphasize them and not focus on the things you don’t like. By emphasizing your strong points, other people around you are going to notice those great things about you.

So I don’t want to hear any of you saying that you don’t like yourself. All I want to hear is what you love about yourself. What you love about yourself is all about how you project yourself to others.

The problem is that people do not embrace the positive, and they harp on the negative.

So in today’s podcast, I talk all about how amazing you all are.

Click here to listen now:

Click Here To Download The Podcast Now!

The first thing I would tell this guy is to re-read that blog. I herniated a disc in my back about a year ago. I can’t run anymore, and can only do fast cardio or spin classes. I can’t do yoga like I used to, but yet I still go to the gym. I just do less.

I work out with lighter weights and more repetitions. I do less aggressive cardio.
The point is that I’m still going.

In order to feel great about yourself, you have to continue to do things that make you feel great. I know that if I don’t work out for a week, I really don’t feel good.

I don’t feel great about myself. I don’t feel my most attractive.

So it doesn’t matter what my partner says. It doesn’t matter if she thinks I look hot. I still need to feel great.

It is really about practicing self love every single day. Make a list of things that make you feel really good.

If you can’t do your regular workout regimen, then you need to think about what you can do. You need to think about what’s possible for you.

There is nothing I would love more than to be able to sprint down the beach. It would feel so great to feel the wind in my face as I run from my house down to the water and back, but I can’t do it.

I do what my body allows me to do and I make the best of it. I do that so I can still feel really good.

So to the guy who sent me this question, I hope I answered it! As you guys know, I write a new blog every single day and a lot of my ideas for the blogs come from things around me and from your questions. I am always interested in your questions, so keep posting them in the blog!

IT ENDS TOMORROW! I am offering something AWESOME just for my readers. On March 31st, I’ll be re-launching my “Become A Master Communicator” program on my site at its regular price. Until TOMORROW, though, you can grab this product at the special introductory price (Come March 31st, you’ll NEVER see this price on this product again!). Also, anyone who grabs this product by tomorrow at midnight PST, gets a slot on my upcoming “How To Succeed As A Master Communicator” Teleconference where I’ll be answering YOUR questions live on the call! CLICK HERE to grab your copy now!

I grew up in a family of suppressors; a family that would sweep everything under the carpet instead of talking about it. When you’d walk into the Wygant household, you’d trip on everything that was under the doormat. I realized yesterday through one of our powerful conversations, that in my own personal life I do some suppressing of things when something bothers me.

When something bothers me, I’ll either make a joke or be sarcastic about it. Then I’ll hide it in the bowels of my subconscious, and walk around with a feeling of irritability inside me for several days. Now I know the warning signs and have to take action so I no longer sweep things under the Wygant rug.

We all are constantly working on ourselves. We all are constantly challenging ourselves. If you ever think the job is done, you’re so wrong. If you feel you’re done everything you need to do, then your life is full of people who do not challenge you to be a better, stronger and more dynamic person.

A nice, quiet and really amazing Indian man named Ajay is in the Bootcamp this weekend. He said to me “It’s nice to see David Wygant real, and that you actually have problems too.”

We all have problems. What makes me able to teach, coach and write about all this is that I’m still working through things in my own life as well. Everyone is. We’re all flawed.

So enjoy a nice little flawed Sunday (See, a little sarcastic remark has to come out!)

Oh…and one last thing. Daphne is flawed as well. She has low self-esteem issues at times. If you want to know more about Daphne’s occasional self-esteem issues, however, we’ll have to do a whole other blog on that!

I could not wait till tomorrows blog……I think all of you will enjoy this!

There is no reason in life to take things personally.

If you truly respect yourself – if you really think that you’re a great person – then if someone else doesn’t like you, you won’t take it personally.

It just means that you might have some stuff to work on. You have some stuff to do.

Life is just like a mirror – we attract exactly who we are so we can learn the lessons we’re ready to learn.

So if you’re getting blown off on a regular basis and you’re feeling really bummed and obsessing over it, there is a lesson there that you haven’t yet embraced. You haven’t looked deep enough into it.

You have to look at yourself and think, why am I getting blown off? What am I doing to cause this pattern in my life? Something that you are doing is perpetuating that pattern.

Don’t take the rejection personally, just realize that there is something in your life that you have not done, there is something you need to do to work on yourself first.

You haven’t learned all of the lessons from the relationships you’ve had in the past. Every relationship in your life gives you a lesson that you need to learn from and embrace.

Since I posted this second blog today, I am putting up my podcast and announcement again on here so you don’t miss them! Here they are…

In today’s podcast, I am going to issue a challenge you like none other . . . and you will look at yourself in a way you never have before. I also reveal a SPECIAL OFFER in this podcast, so be sure to check it out!

Click the play button below to listen now:

Now for some great news and a big announcement…

==>Big Announcement<==

As some of you already know, my membership maxed out and has been full since soon after it launched. In fact, we had to put everyone who wasn't able to get a slot on a waiting list.

Well, due to me hiring an additional coach I am now able to accept an additional 125 Members on the membership site! (Because of all the individual coaching and personalized attention that members receive on the site, I strictly limit the number of members in proportion to the number of coaches)

If you want one of those slots, click here:

Once those 125 slots have been snatched up, the site will once again close and I will once again have to put everyone else on a waiting list. So if you want one of these slots, I wouldn’t wait too long to click on the link!

So if you’re getting blown off and thinking to yourself, god, why does everybody hate me, there is something that you are missing; you need to go deeper into it. Look deeper into why you are getting blown off and then work on that part of you.

It could be that you’re too needy on the first date. Maybe people are blowing you off because they see the desperation in you.

It could be that you haven’t gotten laid in a while, and you come in with way too much sexual energy that is overwhelming. Instead of letting the sexual tension build, the woman literally feels your dick growing under the dinner table – and it doesn’t turn her on!

There are a lot of things that you have to start looking at within yourself. Many times people don’t want to look within themselves, but remember that you are the cause and effect of everything you do.

You have to look deeper into it.

What the hell is wrong with people?

People on an airplane act like total animals. They read a magazine and then throw it on the ground. They drink a bottle of water and then throw that on the ground too.

What do they think? The flight attendants are just maids in the sky? That they are going to just clean up after them entirely?

People act like total pigs when they get on airplane. They bring on the most disgusting food, like McDonalds. McDonalds is the WORST thing in the world you could bring into an enclosed space. They never think about other people.

Not only that, but when people stand in line for the bathroom, they literally fart in your face. You’ll be sitting there and smell this horrific stink, and then the person will look at you like, ha! Yeah, so I did just fart in your face! No big deal.

Here is another thing I’ve noticed about people’s disgusting public habits: why are public restrooms always so wet? There is always urine on the toilets in public restrooms. You literally have to clean the seat before you even consider sitting down to use the toilet.

It’s the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. Do they pee on the seat in their house? Is there urine all over the seat in their house?

Why do people throw paper towels all over public restrooms? Why are people so disgusting in public? I’ve never really understood that.

So what makes all this applicable to the dating world? Nothing really! But sometimes I like to talk about things other than creating attraction and dropping your ego and great sex.

When it comes down to it, you might end up dating one of these animals. This animal might come into your house and pee all over your toilet seat!

So get some manners! It is disgusting. People are just gross, and getting more mindless by the second.

Maybe you think it’s funny not to flush and leave a present for someone in a public restroom. But I really don’t find it that interesting to look down and see your present!

When I was little I used to tell my mom when someone left shit in the toilet of the public restrooms. In response, she taught me to never look down. Now when I go to a public restroom, I never want to look down!

What is up with people and their ridiculous animalistic behavior?

When I talk to any other person, I’m not trying to get anything out of it. I don’t walk up to some woman and think, man, I want to get her phone number. Or, man, I want to sleep with her.

Why would I want to sleep with her? She’s a total stranger! I hate sleeping with total strangers! Why? You don’t know if they hog the bed or not, you have no clue. They could rob you in the middle of the night – she could be a convicted felon. You’re going to invite her into your bed tonight? Absolutely not.

So stop trying to get something out of everyone. Just walk up to a person and give them you. The ultimate gift is to give yourself to other people.

Deepak Chopra says this: walk up to one person every single day and give them a random compliment from your heart.

Like the woman trying on boots I walked up to today in Harvey Nichols in London during a bootcamp – I told her, “those boots look great.” I didn’t actually see the boots on her, but she was beautiful – anything on her would have looked great!

She asked, “which ones?” I said, “those,” and she asked, “aren’t they too shiny?” And I said, “no way,” and I shared a story with her about my own shiny shoes. She was really happy, and then I helped her daughter put these mittens on her teddy bear.

I didn’t do this because I wanted to go out with her mom, I didn’t do that because I wanted a relationship – I did it because I saw her confusion when she was trying to decide which shoes to buy. I really wanted to basically tell her, “you’re hot! Any pair is going to look good on you!”

And that is true! She had a great smile. And I didn’t “try” anything. I didn’t ask her for her phone number, I didn’t creepily slip her my hotel room number – I didn’t get anything out of it.

But you have to be nice to every single person and expect nothing in return. When you expect nothing, you actually get the greatest gift: the genuine gift of themselves.

When someone gives you the gift of themselves, you’re getting that which you wanted the whole time: a true connection with someone else. It’s not something that was forced or creepy – it’s the real, true essence of someone.

So the next time you see a woman, don’t think about how bad you want her. Think about getting to know her and think about giving to her.

Don’t expect anything from anyone, ever – and you’ll get the best gift back.

And then you meet someone who turns you on more than anyone you’ve met in a long time and they don’t respond to an email right away.

First of all, you have to start thinking to yourself, how many times have I gotten a lot of emails? And then you don’t check for a few hours and they just get buried. Or you read an email, you smile, but you’re in the middle of doing something else at work and can’t respond?

Shit happens. Stop standing on principle – you might miss a connection. Your ego gets in the way of so many great things.

If you meet someone and you have great chemistry, it’s worth it to lob in another text or email. You have to be willing to go the extra distance. If you don’t, you might miss out on something spectacular.

The reason why meeting people and dating is so difficult is because we make it that hard. Our egos get in the way all the time. We just don’t go the extra distance.

We say to ourselves, fuck her, man, she didn’t text me back, I’ll go find someone else!

Okay, great, go find someone else. But you thought she was spectacular before. Now you rationalize to yourself that she’s not that spectacular anymore – oh, I didn’t really like her that much anyway.

Yeah, you did! But you spend all of this time convincing yourself that you didn’t, just because she wounded you and you want to save face.

What are you saving face for? Lob in another email or text, or even call her up. She might say, “oh my god, I forgot to respond, I am so sorry, I got so busy at work.”

That ego kills you every time.

You’ve got to understand something about this guy. You think this guy is so cool, calm, collected and confident. The truth is that if he’s nervous around you, then he’s interested in you.

Just look at his personality. That’s something that I always tell women.

A lot of times when a woman is attracted to a guy and he acts like this, i.e., confident and friendly with his friends but nervous around her, she interprets this seemingly stark change in his behavior as an indication that “This guy isn’t interested in me.” She will interpret his nervousness as deliberate unfriendliness toward her.

In reality, this guy IS interested in you precisely because he is not acting like himself . Watch what this guy does and think about it for a second.

The minute he stops talking to you, he goes back to talking to his friends and he immediately becomes the confident guy again. Then you see him talking to a woman to whom he’s not attracted, and he becomes that confident guy again. When he’s talking to the waitress, he’s the confident guy.

The minute he starts talking to you, however, he seems to get really nervous. His hands go in his pockets. He might rock back and forth a little bit.

So what do you do in this situation? You’ve got to bring it out of him a little bit more.

For one thing, you can always ask him “Do I make you nervous?” You can confront him right away if you feel like taking the direct approach.

You can also just be really calming and ask him questions about things. When you’re in a conversation with him, maybe go a little deeper and start asking him more questions about what he’s saying. Get him to relax a little bit. You could laugh at one of his jokes.

The fact is that life is about energy, and whatever energy someone brings into a dynamic can affect the energy of the others. So when this guy is nervous, you become nervous and then the two of you will become nervous together.

So if you like this guy or you think you might like this guy, it may be up to you to bring a calming energy into your conversation to draw out his calmer side. Life is a two-way street ladies. It really is.

Once again, too many women sit back and wait for that guy to come over to them. They wait wait for that guy to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Sometimes the reality is that you’ve just got to pull it out of them. It’s just the way things are.

You need to embrace that you are in control of your dating life, and I’m here to help you.