Next week, I’ll be launching a brand new design for DavidWygant.com. I can’t wait to show you.

In the spirit of newness, we’re also going to change the format of the blog a bit. We’re doing more videos, we’re answering questions, we’re recording podcasts, and we’ll have this: The Friday Challenge.

The Friday Challenge will consist of actions that I’ll encourage you to take, in an effort to help you improve your dating life. You’ll be required to perform the action on Friday, and then report back to us on Monday in the comments section of the blog.

THE CHALLENGE

Do you remember the episode in Seinfeld when they had the masturbation contest to see who could go the longest without masturbating? I’d like to do that challenge here on the blog.

I want to see how long all of you can go without masturbating.

I want to know how you feel every day you take masturbation out of your life. How do you feel when you don’t masturbate for a few days? How do you feel when you don’t masturbate for a week? How do you feel if you don’t masturbate for two weeks?

Let’s find out. If you want to enter the contest, post “I’M IN” in the comments section below.

Whomever can refrain from masturbating the longest, will get a free half-hour coaching session with me and the praise and acclaim from our friends here on the blog.

I think I’m worth not masturbating for. What do you think?

There are about five entrances into LAX, but they only stand in one. It makes me think that their function is not so much security, but more to be “meet ‘n greeters.”

Yes, I know they are supposed to be ferreting out would-be terrorists. They stare at you as you pass by and assess based on that look whether you have a bomb in your car.

What is funny, though, is that any cab driver will tell you about the other four entrances at LAX at which there are no “meet ‘n greeters.” It’s like the cab drivers know about a secret back door to a club about which the cops don’t even know.

So here in Los Angeles we have the “meet ‘n greeters” at the airport. They are there to wave hello to you when you enter LAX.

You are probably wondering why I am ranting about “meet ‘n greeters,” and what they have to do with today’s blog. I actually am not ranting about them.

I think they’re funny. They are something that would be part of an episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Can you imagine telling people about that job if you worked as a “meet ‘n greeter?” Someone asks you what you do do for a living, and you would say, “I’m a “meet ‘n greeter” at LAX . . .”

Then when they ask you what your job entails, you would say “I take my hands and put them in the air, moving my fingers back and forth all day long. I wear sunglasses as I stare at your car so I can look intimidating.”

Somewhere along the line in meet ‘n greeter school, these folks were supposedly taught how to find a bomb. Oh really, Mr. Meet ‘N Greet? What exactly are your experience and qualifications? Were you a meet ‘n greeter at Wal*Mart first?

You would, however, get to tell people all about the interesting things you get to do as a meet ‘n greeter. You could tell people, “I get to check out people in really interesting states of mind. I get to see people stressed out and rushing to get to their planes. I get to search cars with a flashlight and a cool dental-type mirror that turns upside down so I can see underneath the car.”

Is that really going to ferret out all the bombs? Really, I’m sure there aren’t any terrorists who know how to hide a bomb. I’m sure they would hide the bomb in that four inches that little mirror can see under the car.

So if you are looking for a new job, have I got a line for you! Think about looking into being an LAX “meet ‘n greeter.”

Anyway, this woman comes out and starts talking to one of the guys who works there and says, “Everyone is sick. Everyone!” I am not sick. She was not sick. The guy to whom she said it wasn’t sick.

Nevertheless, according to her EVERYONE is sick. It just made me realize that so many people out there are over-exaggerators.

Ask someone how far away something is from home and they will tell you, “It’s a million miles away.” Really? A million miles? You’re going to drive a million miles?  Okay, sure.

Ask someone how good a restaurant is and they will say, “Everyone says it’s great.” Who is ‘everyone?’ Have you spoken to every single person?  

I also love when people tell you that everyone is sick — like the whole world is sick. Everyone on the planet is walking around sick.

These over-exaggerators are funny because they’ll over-exaggerate about everything. Everything.

How long does it take to get there?  According to the over-exaggerators, “Oh, at least ten hours.” Meanwhile, it only took two hours. They over-exaggerate about every little thing.  

Hearing so many people over-exaggerating made me feel compelled to write this blog. It’s not just that people over-exaggerate, it’s that these over-exaggerators come in all different shapes and sizes.  

An over-exaggerator goes out on a Friday night, and the next day you ask them, “How was your night?” The over-exaggerator will inevitably say, “Oh, everyone seemed to be having a bad time. Everyone thought it was a horrible party.”

Over-exaggerators somehow seem to know everyone’s opinion about everything and everyone’s state of being. Everyone is sick. Everyone had a terrible time.

So it was funny. Just as I was thinking about writing this blog, I sneezed (away from everybody of course). There was a woman about 25 feet behind me. She got immediately uptight and walked to the other end of the parking lot . . . because everyone is sick.

The bottom line is that it’s the over-exaggerators who are the people who usually get sick. They over-exaggerate themselves into sickness.