Do you know what I love about traveling? It’s when you drive into LAX and the four cops who are standing there as you enter wave at you. There are about five entrances into LAX, but they only stand in one. It makes me think that their function is not so much security, but more to be “meet ‘n greeters.”

I was in line at the car wash today waiting for my car to be cleaned which, by the way, I do only on very rare occasions. I’m just a bad car owner. Anyway, this woman comes out and starts talking to one of the guys who works there and says, “Everyone is sick. Everyone!” I am not sick. She was not sick. The guy to whom she said it wasn’t sick. Nevertheless, according to her EVERYONE is sick.