David is out in Chicago today at his final Communication Seminar of the year! If you missed it but wanted to attend, don’t worry. There will be more coming next year, so stay tuned.

You know I always love giving you guys advice on how to handle going out on the weekends, making sure you have a good time, and being able to make sense of it all. The reason I can give you the insight is because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to go out on Friday and Saturday nights chasing women around, collecting phone numbers, not getting anywhere, and generally not having a very satisfying time by the end of the night.

But every once in a while, I still get swept up into the Saturday night fever myself. I still get sucked into the same traps, standing around in some bar, talking to some woman I just met over blaring music, not being able to hold any sort of real conversation, wondering, “Why the hell am I here?”

Last weekend, I took a trip out to Montreal with some good friends. We were five guys all together, no women in our group. All around, the weekend was terrific. Friday night? Amazing. We had a great meal and saw some cool live jazz in town. Saturday during the day? Had a great time walking around, meeting people, eating some great food, sitting out in the park, and checking out some of the sights.

How To Meet Women At Night

But then…by the time Saturday night rolled around, everybody started getting nightclub fever. It’ like as a single person you’re led to believe that on Saturday nights you’re supposed to go out to a bar or a nightclub. That’s just what you’re supposed to do. So we all met in the lobby, everybody wearing the same collared shirt, jeans, and black shoes combo. The infamous wolf pack. I wanted to kill myself before the night even started—way too many dudes in the same group. I’ve been in the situation many, many times before and I saw where it was headed: a whole lot of nowhere.

Now don’t get me wrong: I did end up meeting some cool people and generally having a good time, just because that’s my nature and I’ll have a good time wherever I go, but a couple of my buddies were so stressed out from the night. One guy kept wanting to go to a strip club. Another guy didn’t drink and didn’t want to hang around drinkers. Another kept texting his girlfriend every 15 minutes. Another hadn’t been laid in years and was totally unsuccessful in his attempts to chase down women. Everybody was in a different place in their heads and nobody was getting anywhere.

The fact is you don’t have to go out to a bar or club to meet single women. It’s not true at all. If you want to, great! I like a nice bar. I really do. But if you’re going out on the weekends, it’s frustrating you, and you keep repeating the same pattern over and over, you need to stop going to those places. You need to reevaluate what you’re doing and where you’re going. It’s time for some change. There are plenty of places you can go on a weekend night where you will meet a lot of other single people that don’t involve massive amounts of overpriced vodka, pumping techno music, and people standing around posing in their club gear. More to come on some fun alternative places for you to go on weekend nights in a future blog…

I say this ALL the time before we go out for the evening at our boot camps and seminars, and I’ll say it again: If you don’t actually like to go out at bars, don’t go out at bars to try to meet women. Don’t do it. Just like if you don’t like to read books, don’t hang around Barnes and Noble trying to meet women. If you don’t like basketball, don‘t get basketball season tickets to try to meet women at games. You get the picture…

Now get out there, have a great time this weekend, and enjoy one of our last weekends of summer!

Some of you need to think of your dating life as the stock market. Lots of ups, lots of downs. But the real question is, what is your ROI? Let’s talk about your ROI, your return on investment, when it comes down to dating and you.

And I want you to ask yourself right now, what is your ROI? What is your return on the investment that you make while trying to meet someone of the opposite sex? You go out Friday night, you go out Saturday night. I want you to right now write down on a piece of paper how much you spend and where you spend on an average Friday night, on an average Saturday night, going out trying to meet people. Write it down right now.

Now what I want you to do is write down the amount of money you spend on a vacation, and if you take that vacation to places where you try to go and meet people. Miami? Vegas? Cancun? I want you to write that down.

I also want you to write down how much you spend on online dating sites.

Now, add up your expenses, and from every Friday and Saturday night–times that by 52. Take a look at that number right now. How many dates is that yielding you? What is your return on investment?

Are You Undateable?

A client of mine, years ago, I did this formula with him. He was a big time investment banker. He decided he was going to get a house out in the Hamptons for a month. He didn’t even live in New York. He lived in California. He was ready to fly out to the Hamptons, throw some party every weekend, get lots of women over to his place to line up, and maybe one of them would end up moving to California.

Really? I thought that was crazy. But he had a lot of money so I figured, why not let him do it? It’s his money, not mine.

So he did it. And he threw some wild and crazy parties at the Hamptons. He even got written up in the New York Post. A month later, after moving back to LA, I asked him, “What’d you spend on that whole charade?” He said, “I don’t know, about 400,000 including the parties and the house I guess.”

So what was his ROI? He hooked up once, and he got a lot of women that said they wanted to come out to LA and visit.

And a month after that, I asked him how many of the women he met actually visited him. “Well,” he said, “one ended up visiting, but I had to fly her out. We didn’t really get along after a day or two, and it wasn’t really worth it.” He said, “I had a lot of fun, but it was a bad investment. I really believed I would meet somebody that way.”

Here’s the deal: For some reason we’ve been led to believe that we need to spend money to go out there and meet people. That somehow, we can just go out to these places on Friday and Saturday nights, work out beforehand, put on our best outfits, and stand there, drink, spend money, and it’s going to happen. But if you look at that number, and you look at your ROI—you look at the amount of dates you get from that—you’ll realize it’s one of the worst investments you’ve made in your entire life.

My ROI has always been great. I’ve said it a thousand times. Supermarkets, video stores (when they were hot), coffee shops, parks, just walking around every day. Things I do for free anyway, meeting people casually. I was meeting people and not spending not a penny. My stock market, if we had to do the math, was probably at 100,000, levels never hit before. You get my point.

The bottom line is, what is your ROI, and how are you maximizing it? Add it up. Go ahead and share it in the comments section if you want.

You’re going to see that number is really scary. And you’re going to have to start re-thinking things and where you’re investing your time and money in your life.

You think your lonely check this out what lonely really is all about.

“I don’t know. Not much. I think I’m just going to stay home, watch a movie, maybe grab some dinner. Nothing special. What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m going to go dancing with all my friends. We’re going to go out partying and have a good time.”

How does it make you feel when you are the one staying home in a conversation like this? Granted, you decided to stay home.

That was your choice. You were really looking forward to grabbing some great take-out from that little Mexican place on the corner and watching that movie.

The minute you spoke to your friend who was ready to head out for a night of dancing and partying, though, you almost felt like they were having a more exciting evening than you were. In reality, your night might actually more exciting and here’s why.

Picture this. When you’re in a relationship, do you really want to be out dancing with a woman (or a man) seven nights a week — or would you rather be home watching movies and enjoying great food? Which scenario more resembles the person who you are?

Do you know what I did every Friday night when I was single? I would finish working around 7:30 pm, and then I’d go to my neighborhood Whole Foods or neighborhood Thai restaurant and I would get some dinner. I would sit down at the community tables at Whole Foods or go to my friend Barry’s clothing store, and I would hang out and talk to people.

I would get home by around 10:00 pm, because I am usually tired from the week. After that, I would maybe get online and answer a few emails or I would watch a little bit of television. Then I would go to bed.

I would wake up Saturday morning and go for a hike — sometimes by myself and other times with friends — and I would always meet people and talk to people when I was hiking.

Do you know what? I had an amazing social life.

My friends who were going out dancing and bar-hopping? Good for them that they were dancing and standing around in a bar. I’m glad that they were doing things that they love. I don’t enjoy that, and I’m never going to be able to attract people in that situation.

Did I meet great people the two years that I was single? Absolutely. Did I have a great dating life? Absolutely.

Did I meet other people at that take-out Thai place? Did I meet other people at Whole Foods on a Friday night who were just like me? Absolutely.

I sometimes would go to a bookstore on a Saturday night just to check out some of the new books. Did I meet people who were just like me? Of course I did.

I don’t want to meet somebody who wants to go dancing every Friday or Saturday night because you know what? That type of life is not exciting to me.

So if your friends are out dancing, partying and (supposedly) having so much fun, it is perfectly fine that you are having fun staying home. Just make sure that when you are out getting dinner on a Friday night, that you eat dinner out where you’re getting the meal — like at Whole Foods or at a great local restaurant — and aren’t just bringing it home to eat in the house.

On Saturday, do the exact same exact thing. Go out. If you were planning to have dinner at home on a Saturday night because you want to catch up on some work, go out and have dinner or at least go to a place from which you can take out so you can actually converse with other people who are staying home like you are.

You need to live with your lifestyle choices and be proud of them. So the next time someone asks you what you did this weekend, say “Man I had an amazing weekend! Friday night I went to Whole Foods to grab some dinner and ended up meeting some really cool people. We talked for a couple hours. It was fun. We ended up closing the place. Then I went home and watched a movie. Saturday, I woke up, had some coffee and read the paper.

On Saturday night, I ended up getting some Thai food, then I went to see a movie I’ve been wanting to see. I sat next to this great group of people, and I ended up having coffee with them afterwards and talking about the movie. I had a great weekend!”

You did have a great weekend, because that’s who you are. Does that sound boring to you? Because to me that all sounds amazing.

Don’t watch the movie; just listen to the movie and watch them.

When the leading character screws up – because that’s what we do, we don’t say what we should have, and we screw up. It’s the Hugh Grant moment where he realizes, why didn’t I tell her that I loved her at that moment? He’s just sitting there with his friends at a pub, and he realizes it.

And then he sees her out, and he still can’t tell her. When he finally goes and does it, watch the women’s reaction. Forget about watching the actors on screen; watch the reactions of the women in front of you.

Watch the way they sink down into their seats and almost sigh. Why do they do this?

Because all they want is for somebody to do that to them.

Every time I’ve ever been with a woman, I’ve had to claim her. Women will make it difficult, and they will test you. They will test you to make sure that you can be 100% vulnerable with them.

She tells you that she broke up with her boyfriend of two years and she called you. Now she’s sitting in front of you, looking into your eyes and telling you how hot everything is. You have to grab her right then and say, “ I have been thinking about you for the last year,” and just spit it out.

Many guys will try to avoid sounding needy. That doesn’t sound needy – it’s the truth! Speak the truth. You can stand behind the truth, and you’ll never have to backtrack.

You should never have to regret not doing something: I should have done this or I should have done that. That shoulda-woulda-coulda game will kill you. You want to eliminate the shoulda-woulda-couldas from your life entirely.

Don’t think, I should have done this, I could have done that. Some guys at the end of a bootcamp tell me, “I should have done this a year ago!” No, you weren’t ready. There’s that old saying, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” You just weren’t ready, and that’s okay.

I probably should have bought a house in 2002 when they were dirt-cheap. I had the money to pay the mortgage and loans were certainly easier to get. But I just wasn’t educated enough and I didn’t do it. Now I’m paying double for it.

You pay for your lessons a few years down the road. It might be in lost time, but it doesn’t matter. You did it when you did it. Don’t worry about the time that you didn’t do it – just do it now! There is never going to be “perfect” timing for anything.

I had one guy tell me he was going to wait for a while to do a bootcamp. What are you waiting for? Just do it! Make the decision and do it. Do it, own it, and be okay with it.

It’s all about being vulnerable. You don’t think I’m vulnerable? I have 210 videos on YouTube, and the shit that people write under those videos…

It’s at the point now that sometimes when I do a video that will be posted on YouTube, I will even look at the camera and say to them, “alright you people who think that this is funny or those of you who don’t understand try to open your mind!”

I put myself out there every single day. I write, I post videos – and these videos are often shot in my house, sometimes I’m even stuttering.

In response to a video I posted called “How to Appear Confident When Meeting Women,” some guy today wrote, “David, you’re so wrong. How to APPEAR confident? You have to BE confident to meet women!”

No, if you have no confidence, you have to fake that confidence first. He missed the point of the entire video, and he was giving me a lecture.

I love people who don’t want to post their profile on match.com: “oh my god, what if someone sees me?” Great, then they can walk up to you and ask you, “aren’t you on match.com?” and you can have an opening conversation!

You want to expose yourself. If you’re not 100% vulnerable in life, the day you die you’ll have a flashback and realize, holy shit, what have I missed?

When you die, you don’t want to feel like you’ve missed anything. You want to celebrate your life and everything you’ve done. Death is a celebration of your life and the things you’ve accomplished. When people say that a person died too early, that just means that the person didn’t do enough stuff.

We all die. Death and taxes, right? We can manipulate and cheat the tax system throughout our adult lives – the system is set up for entrepreneurs! We have so many write-offs that the rest of you don’t have, but we still do have to pay something.

Death is really the only thing that you can’t cheat – but life is what most people cheat.

So if you don’t go to sleep with a smile on your face every night, you’re doing something wrong. I don’t know about you guys, but when I go to sleep, I can’t wait for the morning. I hate mornings, but I can’t ever wait for it.

Some nights I don’t want to go to bed. If it’s two o’clock in the morning, I ask myself why I have to go to bed – I just want to keep living!

Of course, you need to recharge your batteries at night, but I can recharge during the day. You see me check out for five minutes every now and then, I take little catnaps in my head. I go into my own little world for a bit and rest. I don’t hear anything or see anything when I’m in me-world. It’s great.

But sometimes when you go to bed, you think, oh man, what am I missing?

It’s a good thing that there is not much going on in the world between about 3:00 am and 9:00 am. I go to bed at about two and I wake up at nine.

Every night when you go to bed, you want to think, what were my wins today? What did I do? How did I live my life to the fullest?

This ride is amazing. When you really embrace it, it’s the most amazing thing.

Life is the best gift you can give anybody. When my birthday comes, people always ask what they can get me, and I say, “nothing.” I don’t ever want to get gifts from anyone. (It’s July 1st, in case anyone wants to get me a… just kidding!)

I don’t ever want a material gift, because the best gift is just spending time with people. I usually like to spend the day by myself on my birthday. I like to walk the beach with my dog, hang out and don’t do shit.

Anyway, you want to celebrate life every day, and you don’t want to cheat life. Don’t ever cheat yourself. If you cheat yourself, you’re missing out on so many opportunities.

When I was in London doing a bootcamp, I was supposed to go up to the country to spend a few days with friends, but plans changed at the last minute!

So I was like, bummer, man, I’m stuck in London for three days! Oh, that sucks. Too bad for me. There’s so much to do there, and there are so many people to have fun with. I had to find another hotel room, but oh, that was certainly tough to do in a city!

My whole plans changed at the last minute, and I was digging it. I just thought, oh great – three more days to explore London? That’s awesome!

London is kind of like a second home for me now; I’ve spent two weeks there this year, and I’ve been coming twice a year. I’m learning the city and I’m so comfortable there now. Nothing is new anymore, but it is still all there for me.

Todays video is all about body language and not being so stiff when talking to women.

Enjoy your Saturday!!