You can’t make commitments. You cancel at the very last minute. You say yes to something, but then you always tend to blow it off. Are you someone who decides you want to go to an event, but you blow it off at the last minute because no one else will go with you?

Do you know what flaking says about your personality? It shows a lack of commitment. It shows a lack of respect for other people.

I remember an event I did about a year ago. I had 35 confirmed attendees for a room that held 35 people. It was a very exclusive event.

I re-confirmed with these 35 people four times, because this special event had a waiting list of 100 people who wanted one of those 35 spots at the event. I even confirmed with all of these people just a couple hours before the event (because I know human nature and that there are people who don’t respect other people’s time).

Even with all of this, I still had seven of these people who had confirmed just a couple hours before who did not show up for the event. They did not show up because they did not respect my time.

The next day, I emailed those seven people and asked them why they did not show up. They all came up one stupid excuse after another.

The truth is that there was no real excuse. The reason they did not show up was because they neither respected me nor my time.

I received emails from many of the 100 people who were on the waiting list who didn’t get to attend, asking me how the event went and inquiring when I’d be doing another one. Every one of those 100 people really wanted to attend the event, and seven of them could have.

When you commit to someone, you are committing not only yourself but also that other person’s time. So when you flake, you are telling that person that their time is not valuable to you. You are telling that other person that they are not worth hanging out with, and that you don’t respect their time or them as a person.

Flaking says a lot about your personality. Guys ask me all the time whether they should continue to hang with a woman who has flaked on them several times. They ask me if they should continue to call her.

I always ask them, “Why would you want to call her? Why would you want to continue to call somebody who doesn’t respect your space, doesn’t respect your time, and doesn’t respect you? It shows a lack of respect for yourself.”

So do not flake when you’ve committed to something. Show up and be present. You might learn something, and you might actually have a good time.

The reason why you do is because you like to be a doormat. You continue to date these people because you enjoy being a doormat, and your self-esteem is so low that you’re willing to let someone walk all over you.

I’m sorry to be so crude and to just lay it on you so bluntly. It is really important, though, that you understand this dynamic and what the boundary lines should be.

Let’s say you’ve just started dating someone and they call you at 4:00 pm and say, “I’m being held up at work. I can’t hang out tonight like we planned.” That is okay. You can give them a one-time pass.

They are allowed to use work (or whatever else) as an excuse for flaking one time. If they come back a week later when you’re excited to see them saying that their boss is holding them up or they need to go to an appointment, then that is the second time. You cannot give them another pass.

If you keep giving them a pass, then they are going to look at you as a doormat. What I always say about people who are flakers, is that they are someone who doesn’t respect the time of someone who has committed time to them.

If somebody has rearranged their schedule planning to spend an evening getting to know you and is excited to see you, you show them absolutely zero respect by flaking on them. If you are someone who allows people to flake on you over and over again, though, you are also showing yourself zero respect.

Do not allow somebody to flake on you more than one time. You give someone a one-time pass, and that’s it!

Not only that, but if you end up in a relationship with someone you’ve allowed to flake on you multiple times, then you are going to likely have another problem. If someone flakes on you over and over but yet keeps telling you they want to see you, a year or two down the road you may find that quality time with you may not be anywhere near the number one priority in their life.

They may end up flaking on you a lot. They may always put work or something else first. Flaking behavior is a definite peek into someone’s personality.

If you are a person doing the flaking, then it’s time to get honest with yourself. If you were really excited about the person on whom you are repeatedly flaking and they were a person you truly wanted to get to know, then you would be changing your routine to make that happen.

There is nothing more exciting than getting to know someone new. If the other stuff you’re doing every day — work, appointments, watching the ballgame — is causing you to flake on someone, then clearly that other person is not intriguing you very much.

If that is the case, then stop stringing them along. Be a man (or a woman), let them go and don‘t play with their head anymore.

If you are sick and tired of being a dating doormat? Let me show you how to stop this behavior in your dating life for good! CLICK HERE if you are a man and CLICK HERE if you are a woman to read more about how.

What are your beliefs? What are you willing to do, and how much are you willing to take?

Who do you respect? Who do you honor? Do you honor yourself? Do you honor who you are as a person?

Do you have beliefs that are so strong that you’ll stand up for yourself no matter what? Or are you a pushover in every way – you’re just taking the scraps of life as they come to you?

Man, this sounds like a harsh blog – but it really isn’t!

I want you all to step up for yourself today and I want you to write down what you believe in.

I want you to write it on the blog right now. Start it off with this: “David, my name is _____, and I believe in…” Tell me what you believe in.

I’ve spent the last year writing blogs for you guys, and you know what I believe in. You know what I stand for: I stand for truth, justice, and the American way. Am I Superman, or what?

But what do you believe in? What are you going to stand up for? How do you want your life to be?

I want to hear from you guys today. I want to hear what you are all about.

You write me a blog today. Write me a long post and tell me what you believe in. Tell me what you’re fighting for. Tell me exactly how you want your life to be six months from now – and what you’re doing every single day to make that happen.

I challenge you to stand up for yourself today on this blog. Only the gutsiest people are actually going to stand up. Most of you are just going to read it, think about it, and wait for the perfect thing to write.

But there is no perfect thing to write.

I just want to hear what you believe in; I want to hear what you stand for, and I want to get to know you even deeper.

Whenever you are on the subway – the tube in England – or in a crowded restaurant, and a British person bumps into you, they will immediately look at you and say, “sorry,” or “pardon me,” or “excuse me.” But Americans seem to have this incredible lack of knowledge about the term “excuse me” or the word “sorry.”

So I was walking through the crowd at the Coldplay show and this woman walks directly towards me. I looked at my buddy and I said, “I bet you a bottle of water,” (since we’re both such big drinkers,) “that she doesn’t say excuse me. I bet you she will just walk right into me and I’ll just stop.”

I’m walking towards her, I stop right in front of her, and she walks right into me. I looked at her, and I said, “excuse me!” and she didn’t say a word. I looked at her again and said, “the term is ‘excuse me.’ If you use this term, people will get out of your way.”

She looks at me again, and then walks into me again. I said, “the term is ‘excuse me,’ right? Did anyone ever teach it to you?” So she looked at me one more time, said, “I have to go find my friends,” and I said, “that’s not very close to ‘excuse me.’” She responded, “get out of my way?” And I said, “well, I guess that’s close enough!”

And I was thinking to myself: is this an isolated incident? I realized that it’s not.

I was recently in Sante Fe, New Mexico, a great, laid-back, beautiful mountain town. I was with a British friend of mine in Whole Foods. I said to her, “god, it’s like nobody says ‘excuse me’ here!” We had been walking by the salad bar, and a woman grabbed the utensils next to us, picks up the lettuce, dropping a piece onto my plate – and doesn’t even say a word! She didn’t say ‘excuse me’ or anything.

So I said to my friend, “let’s just walk right in the middle and when people are coming down with their carts, let’s just walk directly towards them and see if they say excuse me first.” Not once did anybody say ‘excuse me.’

What’s up with the manners? I just don’t get it! Are we so self-involved? Are we so caught up in our own little world? Are we thinking that we are the only person that exists?

I always say ‘excuse me.’ Good manners are really attractive.

Now the question that I’m going to pose to all of you today is this: are you an ‘excuse me’ person, a ‘pardon me’ person, or, anonymously, are you one of those people that don’t say a single thing? You just walk right through people, not saying ‘excuse me’ and you have no manners?

There seem to be a lot of you types running around, and I don’t understand the epidemic that seems to be spreading around the country. We’re going to start getting people to say ‘excuse me’ again.

People no longer have approach anxiety, but excuse me anxiety!