Okay, I don’t know if those are the lyrics at all, but I know that it’s all about the sound of silence.

For so many of you, when you’re out on a date or in a new relationship, the sound of silence really bothers you. But in reality, there never really is any silence. You can be standing there looking out at the water on a date, listening to the ocean, and feeling the need to talk, but in reality what’s the issue? If you just stood there and looked into the water together you’re forming a memory, you’re forming a union, and you’re both enjoying nature.

There are so many beautiful sounds that are around you at all times, there’s never really complete silence.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Enjoy it. And after sitting next to your date in “silence” for 20 minutes, listening to the ocean, look at her and say, “God, that was amazing. I love listening to the ocean; it’s such an amazing, rhythmic, incredible sound.” You can share silence together; you don’t have to be afraid of it.

It’s amazing how we always feel the need to talk, or to fill the airspace with words, or thoughts, or anything. But through silence we actually get deeper in touch with our emotions and we connect back to the Mother Earth; we connect back to the way things really are.

I’m writing this as I’m sitting on Miami Beach listening to the water, listening to the birds, watching the people leave the beach, watching the sun get lower into the sky, checking out the art deco buildings, looking at the way that these lifeguard stands are painted, and just listening to the water and to the sound of the ocean.

It’s that easy. Get peaceful. Learn to enjoy the silence.

It’s almost like you’re comparing your weekend to their weekend. Maybe it’s just a phrase that we use over and over again.

What are you doing this weekend? The older you get, the more your weekends become very mellow.

I remember in my 20s, people would ask about my weekend and I would have a list of about forty things to do. “Oh my God, tonight I’m meeting some friends for happy hour and we’re going to go to this new bar that opened up on the upper Westside. Then we’re going to go to this club downtown. Tomorrow, I’m going to meet a couple guys for brunch. Then later in the afternoon, we’re going to go to this happy hour. Saturday night, we’re hitting some clubs. Then Sunday, we’re going to meet some more people for brunch.”

My weekend was so full, it’s no wonder I never felt relaxed in my 20s. I was always doing something on the weekends.

Now when people ask me what I’m doing this weekend, I say “Not much. Just chilling out. Watching a movie tonight. Getting some dinner. Staying home. Tomorrow night, maybe going out for dinner. Go for a bike ride maybe. Go for a walk.”

You kind of relax more as you get older. You tend to enjoy your weekends in a very different way.

When you’re in your 20s, you feel like you have to be doing so much on your weekends because if you’re not then your weekend is not going to be successful. I hated relaxing on my weekends when I was in my 20s. I really did.

Even when I had a summer share, I used to always make sure that I had eight million things to do. We’d go out drinking Friday night until 2:00 in the morning. We’d get up at 8:00, we’d play softball. Then, we’d go to the beach and go for a swim. Then, we’d go play some volleyball. Then, we’d pass out in the sun for a couple hours. Then, we’d start drinking at 5:00. Then, we’d go out again. Then Sunday, we’d wake up, play softball again.

By the time we left, all of us would be sleeping on the train. Of course, when we got back to the city we had to go see a movie. It’s always about doing things. But that’s what you do in your 20s.

You do much more on the weekends than you do in your 30s and 40s and 50s. Each time, though, is really good.

My relaxing weekends now are fantastic. My crazy weekends in my 20s were absolutely fantastic. It all depends on where you are at in your life.

So where are you at in your life, and what are you doing this weekend?

Do you know what that word means when a guy says it to you? It means that he is not listening to you anymore. He has not stopped listening to you because he’s bored or because he isn’t interested in you . . . in fact it’s just the opposite.

When I guy starts to respond to you with the word “cool,” it means he is very attracted to you and is nervous. Due to his nervousness he doesn’t know what to say, so all he says is “cool.” The “cool” guy will often have his hands deep in his pockets. He’ll roll his shoulders forward a little.

So how do you get these guys to come out of the “cool” zone? How do you get them to say something other than “cool?”

I understand that when men start doing the “cool” thing, it can be a quick conversation killer. You need to understand, though, that men need a little encouragement sometimes.

What I like to do is rephrase things. I tell women all the time that if they are in a conversation with a “cool” guy, they need to rephrase what they’re talking about with him.

For example, let’s say you are talking to a guy about dogs and he tells you about his Labrador Retriever. You say “God, I love Labradors!” to which he says “cool.” Here’s where you can rephrase what he was saying back to him in a question to get the conversation back on track. So ask him “What made you get a Labrador?” This will get him talking again and off the “cool” track.

If you can get a “cool” guy talking again, he will start relaxing. He’ll realize you don’t bite and that you’re actually approachable.

So the next time a guy says “cool,” don’t take it as a sign he’s not interested in you. Take it instead as a clear sign that he IS interested in you, but you need to dial it back a bit and pull the coolness out of him.

Women tend to be better conversationalists than men. It’s just a fact of life that when you come across a “cool” guy, you are going to have to get him to stop using that one word phrase that always seems to kill a conversation. Remember that once you get the “cool” guy talking again, though, you will be back talking to a guy who will be VERY grateful you did.