If you search the Internet you’ll always find an answer. There will always be somebody that will tell you that you can get your ex back, or they’ll tell you that you weren’t energetically aligned, or that your astrological signs didn’t match, or whatever. We’re always trying to find out why something didn’t work out. We need to find out.

Well here’s the deal: instead of looking at why it didn’t work out, ask yourself what you really need to experience that you were afraid of. Let’s go even deeper into this. What do you need to experience based on the experiences that you had with this person? Why do you keep attracting the same type of person in your life, and why are you so afraid to experience what you really desire? Why are you so afraid of become raw, open and vulnerable?

It’s really time to get Naked. I was told—by some great philosopher no doubt—that the question “why?” is one of the worst questions you can ask. “Why?” can almost never be answered alone, in your head—especially if it involves someone else. “How?” is a much better question. It’s more empowering. Instead of “why did they do that to me?” you could ask “how can I grow from this experience?”

We always try to figure out why something didn’t work out. But in reality, there’s a great message as to why it didn’t work out that can’t be rationalized by numerology or anything else. It’s a message that presents itself over and over again with a lot of our lovers and a lot of our relationships.

And until we figure out what that message is, we never move forward and experience what we really need to experience.  And that is where you need to look within.  Because looking deep within is going to enable you to really process it, in a way that you’ll grow instead of just saying it didn’t work out, because you weren’t “energetically aligned”.

Status: Single.
Status: It’s complicated.
Status: Single again.

Do you know how many clients I talk to who have been broken up with via Facebook without even getting a phone call from their Facebook “ex”?
What is wrong with our society? We don’t even have closure anymore. We’re so afraid of actually having to face our partners when we’re ending a relationship that we resort to alternate, virtual ways to break up with them. Facebook. Email. Even texting! It’s ridiculous.

First, unless you’re married, real men do not post their relationship status on Facebook. Unless you’re married, it’s nobody else’s business.
And more importantly, real men do not break up over Facebook.

And real women do not post their relationship status on Facebook either. Your actual friends already know what your relationship status is.
Enough with the Facebook relationship announcements. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of constantly seeing so-and-so’s relationship status who I haven’t seen in 12 years, or so-and-so who I met at some party last summer.

I’m tired of all the bullshit.
If you’re going to break up with somebody, do it face-to-face.
At the very least, before you go out and publicly announce a relationship with someone over Facebook, have the courtesy to announce that relationship to your “significant other’s” face first so they don’t wake up one morning to their that surprise they’re suddenly in a relationship with you on Facebook—when all they thought was that you two were dating.

Now you’re about to make one of the biggest decisions of your life. You’re in love with a fantastic woman. You think she’s the one.

You want her to move in, but you’ve heard stories from so many other people about how everything changes once you move in with someone. The truth is that this is one of the most fascinating times of your life.

I remember when I first lived with somebody. I was 23 or 24 years old, and it didn’t last longer than two weeks. At that time, I really wanted to just move in with someone. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to say that I lived with my girlfriend.

It was no longer enough for me just to have the relationship or to have sleepovers. I wanted to live with my girlfriend. I wanted to experience that. Unfortunately it didn’t work out.

Since then, I have lived with quite a number of women. I can tell you that living with someone makes the relationship take on a whole different dynamic.

You’re no longer playing sleepover games, or having those great 11:00pm phone conversations that end with you going over there late at night for incredible sex. You’re now part of their life every single day. Every day.

You wake up next to them, you have dinner with them, you share the refrigerator with them, you go to sleep with them, you learn their habits, and you learn what TV shows they like to watch. It’s not like spending the weekend together or spending the night at someone’s house three nights a week.

You are with them all the time. Their friends are in your house. Their phone calls are in your house. Their television shows are in your house.

You no longer can have that great signed football picture of you and Peyton Manning that was taken during the Indianapolis Colts’ training camp as the centerpiece of your living room decor. You are now going to become a highly domesticated man.

When you are living with someone, rules change. Sex will change. It’s not going to be as exciting as it once was.

It’s very hard to recapture those first six months of a relationship (when you’re not living together) once you are living together. You’re going to have to learn to make efforts with each other, and to be more aware of each other’s feelings, emotions, needs and desires.

You need to know when the other needs space or needs alone time. You have to understand each other’s moods.

You also have to “report in” when you live together. If you’re not going to be home until late one night, you’ve got to tell that person. You are not longer living alone, and you have to realize that you now have someone who will worry about you so you have to keep them posted.

You are now in adulthood. You are now living and breathing and wanting to be with that person every single day. You are in that adult relationship, and this is one of the biggest parts of being an adult.

This whole dynamic of what you thought relationships were is going to change right before your eyes. You’re going to have to become a person who not only thinks of themselves, but who thinks about somebody else (and sometimes thinks of someone else before you think of yourself).

There will be a lot of change from when you were living separately. You’re going to have women come over to your house for “girls nights.” You’re going to come home and have to listen to a bunch of women talking about things you have no desire to hear.

So what you need to do is to develop your own personal “man cave.” This is something I have determined is absolutely necessary if you are going to move in with a woman. Make sure your house is big enough so that you can have a man cave to go to when you need to just be yourself (and need to be by yourself).

You need to have a place you can watch football, read ESPN on the Internet, and talk to your friends on the phone. You need to have a place you can decorate any way you want. You need to have personal space in order to make a relationship work.

Moving in together is a big step. Moving in together is exciting. Moving in together is a part of your future. What you need to realize, though, is that moving in also means that you need to know how to coexist .

You need to understand that this woman you know now is going to change in a lot of different ways. When you are comfortable with each other, you change.

You need to realize that romance is not going to be something you not only have to think about, but you might even have to (gasp!) have to take a day or two a week and plan it. When you live together, you tend to take people for granted. So remember all the amazing things that you had together when you were courting each other — remember all the great sex and the spontaneity.

If you can remember all that — and keep that when you’re living with them — then the relationship has a great chance of success. Give each other space, make sure there is enough romance, and make sure that you continue to develop the friendship. When you do fight, make sure you have a space to which you can go back. Welcome to a real, good, fun and challenging time of your life.

So you’re in a relationship, and you do any of the following things:

• After getting a little tipsy in a bar, you swap spit and play some serious tonsil hockey with the hottie with whom you did a few shots

• You go to a happy ending rub ‘n tug massage parlor and, Heavens to Betsy, the female rubber tugs at you at you at the end of the massage.

• You go to a strip club, and the stripper grinds against you leaving a deposit on your jeans.

• You’re a woman who at a bachelorette party slowly kisses this cute guy you met that night.

• You are on vacation, and you perform oral sex but don’t have intercourse.

So where am I going with all this? What defines cheating . . . and what actions do or do not constitute cheating?

Some people think cheating only occurs if intercourse happens. Other people think cheating is when you just think about it.

Some people say just making out with someone is not cheating. Ask any man who goes to a rub ‘n tug, and he’ll tell you that he’s not cheating. He’ll say that’s not cheating . . . it’s a massage.

So today, we’re going to open up the forum and see what you guys think. What is cheating to you?
That’s the question of the day.

I want to correspond with all of you. I want to hear your thoughts on what constitutes cheating.

I once had this funny little thing that read: “It’s not cheating if you do it in another time zone.” This meant that if you live in New York City and you travel to Los Angeles, it’s 8:00 pm. Los Angeles time and 11:00 pm. New York time. So you basically have three hours to fool around before it’s 11:00 pm your time.

It’s like time travel. If you keep your watch on eastern time, then it’s like you never cheated (sort of like the five second rule – something falls on the floor and you can eat it if it hasn’t been there longer than five seconds).

Instead of the “five second rule,” this is the “three hour rule.” Other people have a different version of this rule: “It’s not cheating if you don’t speak the language.”

People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Let’s hear your definition of what cheating is, and then another day we’ll talk about why people cheat.

I don’t agree with either of the rules above. You can rationalize it any way you want, but my opinion is that the minute your lips lock with another person, you’ve cheated.

What’s your opinion on this issue . . . and don’t hold back! Looking forward to this discussion all day!

Do you know what ruins the possibility of most relationships taking off?

Ego always ruins it.

Here you are, hanging out with a woman you’ve been out with three or four times. You’re getting along great, and you know it. You’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, one of you gets scared – which always happens. Someone always gets scared.

So all of a sudden, she stops calling, or she doesn’t text you back right away. And what do you do?

Your ego works to protect yourself, and you basically say to yourself, fuck it – it’s not going to work out.

In reality, your ego was actually just protecting you from becoming even more vulnerable.

Love Me Always

Then you rationalize to yourself by just submerging yourself in work or whatever it is. Your ego is just trying to protect yourself the whole time.

Life might just take one more phone call. Call that person out and say to them, “hey, what’s going on? I don’t get it. You and I were having a good time, and then you disappear. What’s going on?”

By calling somebody out on their shit, you’re going to get a response that will be far different than you ever imagined. Maybe she just needed that extra push.

Women like to feel safe. Maybe she did get a little bit scared, and when a woman gets scared, what does she want? She wants to be protected by her man.

A real man is going to make her feel protected and make her feel safe. That’s what women are craving – that feeling of safety and security. Women are nesters. Women are looking at you as a potential husband or father, and they want to feel very safe.

And by you saying, fuck it, and just walking away, you proved to her that that little doubt that she had about you was 100% correct. Just because you didn’t want to become vulnerable and you had to protect your ego. You wanted to save face.

And who might you be saving face from? Her friends if she talks to them? If you call her and just tell her what’s up, she’s going to go to her friends and say: “Joe called, and he just wants to know what’s going on with me. What should I do?” If her friends know that she likes you, all her friends will be encouraging her to call you.

So your ego just protected you from nothing.

You have to lose the ego. If you really want a true, spectacular relationship, drop the fucking ego. When you go to meet somebody, drop the ego. Stop worrying about what other people say and just live your life to the fullest every day by becoming vulnerable.

First off, I hate picking people up at the airport. I’ll tell you something, picking people up at LAX is a nightmare. They don’t allow you to park. Secondly, you don’t want to circle around waiting to pick someone up because LAX is a long track where traffic can get as bad as it is on the 405, and you can sit in your car at the airport for two hours, driving 1/8 of a mile.

But the fact of the matter is, when you pick somebody up at the airport, that’s relationship material. You do that when you’re in love. You don’t do that when you first start dating. That’s crazy.

“Yeah, I took her out on three dates, we haven’t slept together yet, but I’m picking her up at the airport.” Really? Why? I mean, you’re basically picking her up at the airport and driving her home, bringing her bags in and then she’s going, “Alright, thank you. We’re not sleeping together so you’re not staying here.”

So she’ll give you a glass of water and then find a way to get you to leave. The only way you ever pick somebody up at the airport is if you know you’re going to have massive crazy sex afterwards because you’ve missed each other. That makes it fun. That’s a blast.

I love pick-up sex. One of my favorite things in the entire world — airport pick-up sex after a trip out of town. It’s great. You pick her up, she’s all excited to see you after a few days, you play with her, fondle her a little bit on the way home, you get her all excited, you schlep her way-too-heavy bags (I mean, who needs that much stuff for a weekend trip?) into her place. Then you have amazing sex.

But if you pick her up from the airport and you’re not already sleeping together, you’re immediately in the friend zone. So unless you desire to be in that friend zone, I strongly suggest you wait to pick her up from the airport until you guys are intimate and committed.

I’m going to tell you exactly the way that I feel about something that is really personal to me.

I want you to have an open mind, an open heart. I want you to really feel what I’m feeling. When you read my words, I want you to take them in, and I want you to imagine what it’s like to be me in the situation I’m going through right now. Do I have your attention?

How do you feel right at this present moment?

Is your heart open?

Is your mind open?

Are you ready to read and listen without judgment?

Are you curious about what I have to say? Are you wondering what it is I need to share?

If you’ve answered yes to everything, yes to the open heart, yes to the open mind, yes to being curious about what I have to share, then it means you’re somebody who actually can listen to somebody with an open heart.

So the next time someone comes to you, and tells you that they really need to talk to you about something,

I want you to remember this blog. And I want you to remember what it’s like to stay open. I’ve got nothing to share today. I just wanted to see how open you were. I wanted to see what your reaction was to this. If you felt like you were waiting for something, or you didn’t have the time to listen to my stuff right now, whatever it might be and that’s okay also. But remember, over the next 30 days of your life, somebody is going to come to you, and they’re going to want to talk and they’re going to want to be heard. So you have to drop your shit, and really listen and really figure out and really take in what it’s like to be them in that situation. They’re the biggest keys to relationships, successful relationships, all relationships.

Guess When This Was Taken

Thanks for listening.

You know what my favorite part of a relationship is? The part of the relationship where you have to prove that you love the other person. Prove that you love me. If you love me, you will do this for me. People are nuts when they do that crap.

Prove it? You know, it kind of makes me scratch my head a little bit and makes me think. What, everything I have done up into this moment does not say that I love you? Are we misinterpreting each others’ actions so much that you just don’t understand anything that I do?

So many times, somebody will say that. If you really love me, you will cancel your night out with your friends tonight, and you will come and take me out to dinner. Or, if you really love me you won’t go visit your friends this weekend. You will fly around the world to go see me. Prove that you love me.

How To Prove Your Love

Let me tell you something. You don’t have to prove anything. If they don’t believe that you love them — if they don’t believe that you are into them, then you know what? Those relationships are not worth pursuing. They really aren’t. Any relationship that causes you grief — any relationship that just drives you off the wall and you have to consistently prove yourself to somebody is a relationship with a very needy person. An extremely needy person. Needy people always want things proven to them.

In reality, though, the reason why they always want things proven to them is because they don’t trust themselves in the first place. Prove that you love me. Have you ever dated somebody like that where you have to prove everything, and you are constantly on edge? Share with me today.

Whether you are currently married or are recently divorced, I want you to think about whether there was ever a time that you really forget that you are someone’s husband or wife. This is a really important thing that most of us don’t think about nearly enough — or at all.

We have so many different roles in our lives. Some of us are bosses, and some of us are employees. Some of us are parents, and some of us are not. For those of us who are married, though, we always have to play the role of husband or wife.

I am a firm believer that when you are married, your spouse is number one. Your kids came into your life because they were created by you and your spouse. Also, by showing your kids that your spouse is number one — someone you find amazing whom you honor — you are showing your kids how to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex as they grow older.

I think a lot of couples split up because they forget about how to be each other’s husband and wife. A mother becomes a mother and she forgets to be a wife. A man becomes a father, and maybe he becomes a workaholic who forgets to be a husband.

How To Be A Good Husband

I truly believe that there are times in relationships when couples do this to each other. When they do this, it becomes very destructive to their relationship because it makes the other person feel not wanted, not needed and not desired.

So ask yourself if you have ever made your spouse feel this way. If you and your spouse have separated, ask yourself if this might be one of the causes. Maybe you forgot how to be the other person’s husband or wife.

Today’s blog is all about taking responsibility for everything that has happened in your life (or that is happening in your life right now). Stop blaming other people — stop blaming your spouse — and start looking in the mirror.

It is just really shitty mind set as far as I am concerned. Being single is great. It is amazing. No one to answer to, all the food in the fridge is yours, you don’t have to leave the toilet seat up, you never have to change anything about yourself that you don’t want to. You can always pick the type of food that you want to eat that night, you can go on the type of vacations that you want.

Most importantly, you never have to change the car seat because someone else drove your car. And you don’t have to bitch and complain because they left stuff in the sink.

Being Single

Being single is wonderful.

It means it gives you the opportunity to do whatever you want, maybe do whoever you want, date whoever you want, experience whoever you want and it also gives you the opportunity to go out there and meet great people and get it right. Being single means that you have the opportunity to go out there and meet people and figure out what you want out of a relationship. It gives you the opportunity not to screw up and get involved in a bad relationship, because you know you are on a path right now to figure out who you are.

Being single is phenomenal.

So the next time you hear somebody bitch and complain about being single, give them this blog and tell it is some of the best times of your life. It is all mind set folks. It is all attitude.