And I’ve got to tell you something:

The crap—no pun intended—that I’ve been looking at for the price range that I want to spend in Los Angeles is ridiculous.

It makes me think to myself, “Why am I staying here exactly?”

Oh yeah, the weather, the people, the stories, and my entourage of course.

So I’ve been driving around with my wonderful real estate agent, trying to find a place to live. And I said to her, “Give me an idea for a blog.”

So she asked, “When do guys think it’s okay to fart in a relationship?”

Hmm.

That’s a great question. When is it okay to let the poof-poof out of the tush-tush? Or as we might say in Fartville, when is it okay to start farting? When is it okay to sit at the sofa and let one just rip out?

Well, we’re men—we think it’s okay all the time.

Now, most men—and you’ve got to admit it, all of you—think it’s funny when you fart. I know you do.

You enter an elevator and fart, and you see people make those little funny motions with their nose and stuff like that. I know you think it’s funny.

How about when you’re in an airplane and you just let one rip? And you know it smells and you know it’s you.

Men are wired as animals. We are no different than chimpanzees in the zoo. We think farts are cool, we think farts are fun.

But the problem is, most women are just not fart savvy. They don’t really enjoy that little toot-toot out of the butt-butt. They would prefer that you become, oh, let’s say “classy”. Let’s just say a little less farty and a little more open.

Or less open. J

So, when is the right time to fart in a relationship? When is it okay to just let one out, let one rip?

I’d like to hear from all the women today in the blog. When is it okay for a man to fart? Because we can’t keep it clogged up forever. It’s our rite of passage; it’s the way of being a man.

And the fact of the matter is, we do think it’s funny.

So, how long do we need to keep the cork in the ass?

So you are out on a date with somebody, it goes fairly well. Pretty soon, you’re waiting for them to call you back and you become obsessed about that person. You call up all your friends to try to figure out what you did right, what may have gone wrong, when they might call you, or why didn’t they haven’t called you yet.

“How come they didn’t call! What did I do wrong?”

And then all of sudden it’s six weeks later, you’ve been talking about this person constantly, and you haven’t dated anybody else since that date. You basically just wasted six weeks of your dating life.

Here is the deal: if you go out on a date and your date never calls you back afterwards––it’s over. Once it’s over, there’s no reason to think about it ever again. That person was not your dream person, that person was not your soul mate, that person was not the person you really wanted them to be since you went out on that date.

What you need to do is realize that all of that time that you’re wasting being obsessed about somebody you once dated and who doesn’t feel the same way about you is really just time wasted not going out and meeting anybody else. It’s time wasted not living your life the way you want to; time wasted on somebody that doesn’t give a damn about you; time wasted on a person who won’t even give you the time to call you back.

That’s the reality of it. This person who you’re obsessing over did not care enough about you to call you back. So now what do you do with that? You stop thinking about that person, you stop obsessing over that person, and you start realizing that there are so many more people out there. The world is abundant. There is an inventory of amazing single people to date everywhere you look.

I’m tired of the complaining, I’m tired of the obsessions.

Now is the time for you to get real with yourself, and stop the complaining, the whining, and start reengaging with the people around you.

Look at your life right now. Look at the people you’ve dated that didn’t work out. Look at how many hours and how many days you’ve obsessed about those people and think to yourself, “Why did I do it? Why did I drive everybody crazy talking about it?”

Stop.

. . .

It’s 2012. You’re all growns up now. Let the past be the past. Look around you and be grateful for all the attractive people you’re going to be dating soon.

Now get out there and engage life. Stop obsessing and get into your best relationship yet.

You deserve it.

PS. Whatever you do, don’t be this guy.

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

Do you practice abundance and help others with the power of that bulge?

So what I am talking about today.

Let’s talk about another kind of relationship right now: what is your relationship with money?

This should be one of your best and most well managed relationships.

What is your relationship with money?

Let me share with you what my relationship with money used to be. Growing up in my household, money was doled out when we were being good. You went to Grandma Frankie’s house, and if you were a good grandson, you’d leave with a couple of hundred bucks for a pair of new sneakers.

If you weren’t a good grandson (or granddaughter) you wouldn’t leave with anything. And the whole time, she would sit there and make sly remarks about what a bad grandchild you were.

My dad couldn’t show love in any way. But when my dad and I were not talking, he was great at paying my car insurance bill. He tried to use his money to show me his love.

My mother has pissed away money four times. My brother and I are basically supporting her now. That shows you my mother’s relationship with money. I don’t mind taking care of my mom. I love her, but she has a bad relationship with money.

Most of my adult life I also had a bad relationship with money. I thought about it too much, I wanted it too much at times, and I hated spending it. Chalk it up to my Jewish upbringing. Chalk it up to my Grandmother, who taught us that we should save every dime and only buy things on sale. I would feel guilty if I bought something that I had wanted. I felt guilty if I stayed at a nicer hotel.

My relationship with money over the last four years has been phenomenal. These days, all I think of is abundance. I don’t let money control my life, and I won’t let the power of money suck me in.

There are always going to be people that are richer than you and there will always be people that are poorer, but your own personal relationship with money is very important.

As I wrote in a blog a while back, the definition of being rich is having enough money and enough love in your life that you are able to do anything you want without feeling the stress and pressure of life.

Think about that. That definition of being rich is very different for every person who reads this.

You have to have a healthy relationship with money. If you don’t, the next time you have a relationship with another person, your unhealthy relationship with money is going to make an appearance. The two reasons why most couples break up is sex and money.

Many times guys will come to me and want to do a bootcamp, but they will use the money as an excuse. It’s not the money that’s really the issue; you can come up with the money to do anything. It’s really the relationship that you have with money that is the issue.

You hold on to every penny because you fear that it will be your last. And if you’re grasping on to every last penny, the universe is not going to reward you with more money.

You have to create abundance in your life. Whether you make $30,000 per year or $4 million, you cannot be cheap with the person that matters the most: you.

Of course, don’t go out and buy that new car if you can’t afford it today. But if it’s something that you’ve wanted to do for a while, and you’ve made the excuse that money is what is keeping you from it, believe in yourself and do it. The money will show up as long as you work hard and believe in who you are.

If you’ve been holding off taking one of my bootcamps or you’ve been holding off buying a new pair of jeans – do it! The way you feel and the way you act after an experience is what is going to attract more positive things in your life – including more money.

Life is about energy. If you walk around holding onto every nickel, it will soon become your last nickel.

How do I know this? Because in 1997, I lost every penny I made due to my fucked up relationship with money. I lost three businesses.

It took me a long time to fully understand what a healthy relationship with money looked like.

Be healthy! Spoil yourself! And go watch the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep – one of my all-time favorites. For those of you that have listened to the Mastery Series, I talk about that movie at length. It’s a movie about having a healthy relationship with yourself.

Money is about experiencing things. Eventually, we all die. In general, he who dies with the most money in the bank is the one who experienced the least amount of love and happiness.

Of course, there are some very rich people out there (like Bill Gates) who travel the world and experience things. But many rich people are just saving for that rainy day.

Unfortunately, if you live in Southern California or not, that rainy day may never come!

Get healthy with your relationship with money and you will start to see some amazing things attracted into your life!

You’ve met somebody you’re really jazzed about. You’ve exchanged phone numbers. You notice the area code is different than yours, so you ask them with some hesitation, “Where do you live?” They immediately tell you, “Oh, I’m just in town for the weekend.” BUT–they visit often, and still they’d still like to get together the next time they’re in town.

So, now you call each other up on the phone, you have some good entertaining conversations, and….they’re coming to town in two weeks. You’re meshing, your’e building up a little friendship over the phone, you’re really enjoying it and now your mind kicks in AGAIN, and AGAIN you become another version of “future man”or- “future woman.”

Remember that blog about future man and future woman? Well, here we go again! You start obsessing and thinking: What do they want? What are they looking for? Do they want something deeper? Could this turn into the dreaded long distance relationship? Are they just looking for a fling? Do I need to clean my house up because they’re going to come over and we’re going to have crazy and wild sex all weekend? We are going out Friday night and he or she will be around the whole weekend…you start thinking again.

Just enjoy it. You have no idea what may happen. This person you’re talking to might travel into town every week or every month. Maybe it’s because in the back of their minds that’s where they want to eventually settle down, and meeting somebody to be with would make it much easier and safer for them to move. Maybe they are just looking for a fling, maybe they just enjoy being able to getting out of their town and into a new town, and just want to have fun. Maybe they don’t even know themselves!

The only way you’re actually going to find out for sure is if you go out with them, and while you’re out you talk to them, you’re interested in them, and you find out more about them. Obsessing about it and planning ahead of time NEVER WORKS!

This person could turn out to be a future relationship, or a future fling, or it could be a future nothing. But you just don’t know, and you won’t know, until you two connect when you’re out on that date. Unless you make a real connection by keeping your head in the present moment, you will never have a handle on the future of whatever it is that you’ve got going on or whatever it could become.

So, stop worrying and thinking about what the other person wants. Talking it out with someone else can be good to help you sort out what you want, but if you’re so curious about what they want, you have to ask them. Don’t be afraid, when you’ve got some private time say, “Hey, you live out of town, and I like what we’ve got going on here. What are you looking for, are looking for a relationship, are you just looking to have fun…where are you at right now in your life? I’m interested, let’s talk about this.”

What happened to honesty? Why are we so afraid of it?

Why do we love to sell portraits of ourselves over and over and over again?

The point of this whole message, the reason for it, is that it’s really not healthy to consistently torture ourselves with our own thoughts. If you’re interested and you’re genuinely curious about somebody, ask them, “What are you looking for?” They will tell you, you will find out a lot about this person, and it will lead to a whole kind of different conversation—an honest conversation, a real conversation. It will give you an opportunity to get to know them on a much deeper and authentic level.

That’s what I want to give you, that’s what this blog is all about, and I hope that you really embrace today’s message.

You find yourself really starting to forecast what’s going to happen in this not-yet-a-relationship situation. You think about how you are going to take them home for Christmas and what a blast the party you’re going to go to with them on Halloween is going to be. You think about how great it will be to have someone to go sailing with on your birthday this year.

Do you find yourself always falling too quickly for people before you even get to know them? Do you find yourself saying things to someone you’ve just met about what the two of you should do together two or three weeks from now? You are out on your first date with someone and all you do is talk about the future with them.

Do you know why you’re doing that future planning on a first or second date? It’s because you are needy, you hate being single and you don’t have an abundance mentality.

What happens is the minute you get somebody to say yes to a date with you, all you think about is being rescued form this horrible experience you’ve been having called being alone or being single. So what you do is to immediately start forecasting, because it makes you feel better that you might have a relationship that is going to work after it’s been so hard for you to meet someone.

Because it’s been so hard for you to meet someone, now that you have you don’t want to blow it. So you try really hard not to blow it, and end up putting a lot of pressure on it which makes you come across as being very needy.

When you’re out on a first date with somebody and you’re talking about all the things you want to do with them in the future, you look desperate and needy. That will turn them off. It scares them.

All someone wants to do on a first date is learn more about you. They want to learn what is special about you. They want to learn about what makes you tick.

They don’t want to think about what might happen three weeks from now. On a first date, they are not in the planning stage of a relationship. The truth is that you’re not even close to the planning stage of a relationship yet.

You can consider yourself in the planning stage of a relationship when you’re sleeping with them, when you you’re both committed to each other and when you’re enjoying each other’s company on a regular basis. That is when you know there is a relationship.

If you bring this stuff up from the beginning — and especially on a first date — you’re going to look desperate and needy. That is what makes these things not work out. So many people self-destruct potentially good relationships before they even have a chance to happen.

So the next time you’re with somebody on a first and second date, stop your desperate energy. Stop being so needy, and just enjoy them for the moment. You’ll get the end result that you’ve always desired if you stop thinking about the end result and stop looking for confirmation.

Don’t look for confirmation. If you talk on a first date about what you want to be doing with them three weeks from now, you might as well look them in the eyes and say, “I’m so needy and desperate. Do you like me? Do you like me? Do you like me?” That is what you’re communicating to them when you do that. That is why they’re not calling you again, and why you’re having a lot of “one and done” dates with people.

I’d say about one hour. Yes, why not go out there an hour after breaking up — crying, tears running down your face, insecure and full of emotion — and start dating again.

Of course an hour is too soon. Honestly, though, the answer is that it’s a different time period for everyone.

It depends how long it took for you to break up. It depends on who did the breaking up. Most importantly, it depends on how long you need.

You need as long as it’s going to take for you to process everything. You need to get all the anger out, process what went wrong in the relationship, what you need to learn from the relationship, and what type of person you want going forward.

When you go through a break up with somebody, regardless of whether you’re the person being broken up with or whether you do the breaking up, you need to take time to process everything that went on before you move forward and even think about dating again.

I think it’s really important during that processing time to do things for yourself, to spend time with yourself, and to spend time with your friends. Doing these things is important because when you do start dating again, you need to be 100% open to what comes into your life.

If you’re still wounded, you’re just going to find another person who is equally as wounded. That’s not what you want. You want to really be the most positive, amazing version of yourself so that you can attract an equally positive and amazing person.

So take your time after a breakup. Take as much time as you need, however long that might be, before you start dating again.

So the guy who fixes the heat came by the other day and finally looked at the thermostat. He said that the problem is that the thermostat is not communicating with the heat, i.e., that there is a communication breakdown between the two.

It’s interesting. If you really look at the way life is, it is a series of communication breakdowns.

Here you are just standing there wanting to approach a woman. Even though you do everything right — you observe, and you walk over and say something great — she may not respond to you the way that you imagine.

She doesn’t respond the way you want her to respond, so there then is a communication breakdown and you don’t know what to do next. Your brain is like a computer, and it starts firing off all sorts of things, but really it’s just a communication breakdown.

Communication breakdowns happen between people and things every single day. It could happen during the first approach, it could happen between two people in a relationship, and it could even happen with the water heater not communicating with the thermostat.

When it comes to communicating with people, though, you need to listen in order to avoid communication breakdowns. You need to listen to everything going on around you.

If it’s your first approach, you need to listen to every verbal clue that’s around you. You need to be observant, open, and talk to her based on something that’s going on around you. Then you need to listen very carefully to what she says so that you can react.

If you are not truly listening, there will be a communication breakdown and you won’t know what to say. It also means that you are approaching that woman just hoping that some words will come out of your mouth to say to her.

When you do this, you are no different than the thermostat that is not communicating with the radiant heat. You’re no different than when you’re on a Mac and that wheel of death spins because the Mac is not communicating with whatever program it’s trying to open.

The key to avoiding communication breakdowns in life is to listen — every time you talk to someone. I don’t care if it’s on your first approach or if you’re in a relationship.

Here’s a great exercise for all you to do. Take a look at somebody with whom you are in conflict. It can be anyone from a relationship partner to a co-worker to a family member.

The next time you speak with that person on the phone, record the conversation and listen to it after the call is finished. Then you need to learn what your part is in the communication breakdown that is taking place between you.

You can also do this with emails between you. Read an email exchange in which there is conflict between you and someone else and find where the communication breakdown occurred.

Who is to blame? It’s always right back at you.

This is going to really help you communicate better all the way from the first approach to long-term relationships. Life is just a series of communications, and without listening you are going to have a constant series of communication breakdowns.

I go through in depth how to have better communication with your partner in my Dating Principles For Great Relationships product. CLICK HERE to find more about it.

Understanding how your actions affect others could be life’s biggest challenge. I know I’ve written about this before (and probably a lot) in the blog, but I think this is something we all need to learn.

In a relationship, if someone comes to you about your behavior, you need to look deep into why they came to you in the first place. Relationships are about compromising, really understanding each other and how we make each other feel. There is no perfect relationship out there.

I know the majority of my readers are single. For those of you who are single, if you are searching for a perfect relationship, let me tell you something. You will be searching forever. There is no perfect relationship because we are imperfect people.

If you believe that you are perfect, then you have a lot of growing up to do. If you believe everything you do is okay, then you also have a lot of growing up to do.

Actions that effect people you love and make them feel a certain way are ones at which you need to look. You need to look deep into whether you believe those actions are harmless, and you need to listen to people you respect and love.

Are you like some couples who battle more than others? Why is that?

It could be because certain people bring out the battler in you. The reason why they do is because there is a lesson you need to learn.

So instead of getting angry at the other person and defending yourself, start to look at your piece and part you played in causing the battle.

Once again, dropping your ego is good not only for your personal growth, but because doing that can help love grow even deeper. Being able to drop the ego is a huge challenge.

If you are able to look at how your actions affect others every day, though, you will find that your love for yourself will grow even more. The more you love yourself, the more someone else can love you.

This is a great lesson for all of you who are single. I know a lot of you who are single and reading this are thinking that this blog doesn’t pertain to you. The truth is that it very much pertains to you.

It pertains to you in so many ways, because you still interact with people — friends, business associates and dates — every day. There are things that you do every single day about which you can look deep inside yourself and from which you can grow. Life’s biggest lessons happen when you drop the ego.

Do you realize that Super Bowl Sunday is the man event of the year? Now, I know a lot of women also watch it and enjoy it, but this is a man’s event.

This is an “Oh my God, why doesn’t Hallmark have a line of Super Bowl cards?” type of important event to men. This is a day that a man wishes his girl could find a card to give him that says:

To My Honey On This Super Bowl Sunday…
Enjoy it even though I know I know your team is not in it.
Enjoy it even though you are neutral.
May your love of the game outweigh your sadness that the Jets lost in the Championship Game.
So may this Super Bowl XLIV be a special day for you.

Imagine if Hallmark did it like that. Hallmark is missing Super Bowl cards. That would be amazing.

Do you know what Super Bowl cards would be? They would be for men the equivalent of a woman getting a Valentine’s Day card.

Not only that, there should be Super Bowl gifts like there are on Valentine’s Day. You could buy your man some man-lingerie. Think about it. You could get him a tighter fitting NFL Jets jersey (or a jersey from his favorite team) and some matching New York Jets underwear. It would be the equivalent of women’s lingerie.

Can you imagine that on Super Bowl Sunday? The man wakes up to a present of some great man-lingerie. There it is . . . his favorite team’s logo on some tight shirt and shorts that he can wear and show off his muscles to you.

Then maybe there could be other gifts to go with the man-lingerie. How about some Jets Soap On A Rope? Perhaps some New York Jets cologne.

Who knows what could be created to celebrate this most amazing of man days? I’m telling you, the NFL and Hallmark missed a huge day, because men all over the world could have been getting cards and man-lingerie from women.

Here’s the thing. Valentine’s Day is women’s Super Bowl Sunday.

It is so many men’s failure to see Valentine’s Day this way that causes them to put no effort into it and make lame reservations. It also causes them to not understand how doing that leaves women feeling really disappointed.

Picture you as a man meeting your girlfriend at your annual Super Bowl party with all your friends, and she shows up with a can of cheap bean dip (instead of actually making the amazing bean dip from her Grandmother’s recipe). How could she do this to you on your special day?

Well that is the same type of feeling a woman gets when you make lousy reservations or lame plans for Valentine’s Day. So all of you men need to think about Valentine’s day this year.

I also know that some of you are not in the “Valentine’s Day Mode” because you do not have a girlfriend or a date on Valentine’s Day. So instead of being depressed and angry that you don’t have a date, call one of your friends and say, “Let’s do a Valentine’s Day pub crawl” or “Let’s have an anti-Valentine’s Day party. But here is the rule: Everybody has to invite a new person who is single and that no one in the group knows.”

This way, you can have a great time and expand your social network at the same time. You know I talk all the time about important this is to do.

I talked more about this in this week’s podcast. If you missed it, you can listen to it HERE.