You know what she’s thinking?  She’s wondering, “Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he stare at me?  Why is he constantly looking at me but never saying a word?  Is he mute? Is he terrified?  Does he speak Russian and not speak a word of English?”

Here’s what funny: every morning I wake up and I walk for a few miles and I see the same woman every single day.  I look at her, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I don’t.  

So today, I looked at her and said hello, and she looks at me—eyes light up, face lights up—and she says “Hi,” like it was a relief that I finally talked to her.  I mean, come on guys, stop trying to always think about what to say and just say, “Good morning. Hello.”

If you see somebody over and over again the best conversation starter is not the most clever thing you can think of, it’s just a simple “Hey, Hi, Good morning, I’m a normal human being.  I know how to say good morning. It’s one of the first things I learned when I watched Sesame Street when I was a kid.”

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Make it simple. And if you make it simple, you’ll start building up your confidence and your social network.  “Good morning” leads to “Hey, how are you doing today?” or “I see you all the time walking.” It leads to a conversation the next time.

So stop appearing to be this neurotic freak that scares her because you never talk to her and just stare at her, and start being the human being.

It’s that simple.

Yesterday we all went to Spitalfields Market, and everyone met so many cool women. For those of you who are in London, Spitalfields is a must. I ate so much great food again, I really stuffed myself. Then we sat to digest for a bit as I lead a really “heavy” discussion on dating!! Bo-bump-bump…pshhh!
You know that sound, that “bo-bump-bump” drum sound you hear at a bad comedy show? You know what “bo-bump-bump” is? That’s not just reserved for late-night talk shows, it’s also you when you become Punch-Line Guy.

Are you the guy that read somewhere on the Internet that women are really attracted to the funny guy? So now, in every conversation you have, you always want to make sure that you can show you’re funny, that you get the punch line out as quickly as possible? Basically you are punch line guy. You’re that guy who, within a minute of a conversation, whatever the topic, you have to end the conversation with this funny joke (well, at least that you think it’s funny).

Here’s the deal guys: That really takes both you and her out of a moment that could have been special. Punch-line guys tend to kill conversations because there’s not much to go on after you spew your cheesy punch-line. Especially if the punch line wasn’t that funny, maybe she’ll chuckle a little bit and then she’ll just realize the conversation is ending.
What most punch-line guys do is they just end the conversation with that mediocre punch line, they don’t keep it rolling. They take a perfectly good conversation and they feel like they have to spit the joke out somewhere to show her that they’re funny.

The reality is that you have plenty of chances to show her that you’re funny—at the right moments. But your problem is that you can’t risk waiting to be naturally funny, waiting to be funny at all the right moments. You have to do it now, you have to try to create the punch line moment because this is the ONLY moment to show her you’re worth getting to know.
I know what this is like because I used to be punch line guy. I was the class clown, I used to sit back and wait for my punch line in class. When I was first learning to talk to women, I’d always anticipate and wait for the punch line. I’d throw it out there and expect a big laugh but I never realized, when I was younger, that actually killed a lot of good conversations because I was killing the momentum.

All the punch line does is show that you’re not really listening and adding the conversation, it just shows that you want to be the center of attention, because that’s what punch line guy really is. He wants to be validated, he wants people to think he’s funny, and he wants to be the center of attention. So the next time you have your punch line guy moment, think to yourself, Is this really a proper moment for the punch line? Think about that. Will it keep the conversation flowing, or will it end the conversation like it has in the past?

So you’ve got her phone number. Now closing and sealing the deal, getting them to go out with you—that’s only part of the picture.

How good are you at building up sexual tension after the first date? Do you even understand what sexual tension is all about?

I have something really special for you guys on today’s podcast. It’s a phone call that you can listen in. My head coach Shogo—and he’s my head coach for a reason—he decided that he’d call a woman up who he just started dating and allow ALL of you guys to listen in, so you can understand exactly what it’s like to build real sexual tension. To get her absolutely excited to see him the next time and to really show you guys how to amplify sexual tension when you’re on the phone with a woman.

Check it out and listen to the ex-lawyer do his thing.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

Shogo here with another weekend blog!

For all you East Coast people, hope you’re keeping sheltered up for the vicious eye of the tiger that’s headed your way this weekend.

David and I are here in LA this morning getting ready for another amazing boot camp! I just went for a run on the beach, the weather is great out here this weekend, and I can already tell this weekend’s boot camp is going to be an amazing experience for everyone.

No to toot my own horn, but our events are always an amazing experience. Last month a very cool guy who came out to the New York seminar, whose name will remain anonymous, asked me how it is that I am able speak my mind in front of women with ease. He asked me how it’s possible that I can say whatever I’m thinking in the moment and not hesitate or be worried that I’m going to be offensive or sound like a pig.

This was a great question, and something that I want to share with all of you guys. It’s an important topic to address, especially if you’re out not just approaching women, but getting into real conversations, going out on dates, and talking to women in bars.

Shogo In Nightgame Mode

The thing that’s holding back a lot of guys from freeing up and speaking their mind is that they believe their own inner thoughts will be offensive to others. They think that if other people find out what they’re REALLY thinking, especially women, that they will be seen as a huge pervert. A sicko. An asshole who just wants to get in her pants.

So what happens is that guys get all nervous in front of women, afraid that the woman they’re talking to will find out about all those thoughts and all that chatter going off inside their brain, so they make something up. They come up with lines, they try to be funny, they pretend to be cool and disinterested, and then what happens is that they never let their true selves out.

But the fact is that you don’t have to be squeaky clean. If you really want to get good at this, you gotta let your true self out. You have to say what you’re thinking, no matter what ends up coming out of your mouth. You’re not an asshole or a freak, deep down inside you know you’re actually a really great guy, so start tapping into that part of you. You have to trust that part inside of you.

You have to be unapologetic for who you are. If you’ve never been able to get a girlfriend, or you can’t get past the second date, or you constantly get blown off at bars when you approach women, it isn’t because you’re deficient in something. It’s not because there’s some secret pickup information you don’t know. It’s because you’re covering yourself up. You have a hidden agenda when you’re talking to women that you’re interested in—sure she’s attractive, sure you’d like to have sex with her, sure you’d like to get to know her more—but that agenda really needs to come out into the open. And the rest will follow.

You will feel so much better talking to people.

For those of you who had the Fourth off, did you really maximize the three-day weekend?

If you’re listening in another country and you don’t celebrate American Independence Day, did you have a great weekend as well?

We’re six months into the year now, the new year is long gone. New Year’s Resolutions—do you even remember those?

Now that 2011 is in full swing, I want you to really ask yourself if you are achieving the kind of results you want to achieve with women? Are you going on as many dates as you would like? Are you getting out of the house, are you meeting new people, are you making great connections with the kind of women you would like?

How To Pickup Women

If your answer to any of those is “no”, I want you to listen closely to today’s podcast. You need to kick yourself into gear. You need to get motivated. You need to take action immediately and stop wasting time. Summer is in full swing now, and there’s no reason for you to waste another minute of it.

So take in today’s podcast and use it to get started on changing the course of your dating life today! The year is half over guys. Six months from now, you don’t want to be the guy making the same New Year’s Resolutions all over again pickup, pua, pickup women.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

“Wow I need to get sexual with her right now so she gets turned onto me”

So you space out for a second and you stop listening to what she is saying.

You then go into deep thought moment and think.

“How can i stop this conversation right now and start talking sexual”

So she is in the middle of a great story, sharing with you her travels across the world and all of a sudden you stop her in mid sentence and change the flow of a great conversation to something sexual.

She looks at you and thinks.

What the @$%^ is this guy talking about?

How many more questions am I going to get about “escalation”? So many of you guys are really just stuck on Pua Island–or PUA, as you call it.

I been asked this question about 10,000 times: Hey David, how do you sexually escalate on the first date?

Well, here’s an option: you can sit there across from her like Chester Chester the Child Molester and stare at her and tell her how wonderful her little titties look and how that great little sweater she picked out for the day really cups her breasts. You can recite some ridiculous made-up story that you spent 15 hours infusing with subliminal sex words to trick her into bed with you. Or when she goes to the bathroom you can look at her and tell her how you can just picture her G-string and what you would do with it, how you’re going to rip it off with your teeth and use it as dental floss later on.

How To Create Romance

Then, as she’s calling the police or texting her friends about the freak sitting across from her, you can apologize to her and say, “Gee, I’m so sorry for being such a pathetic pervert trying to escalate with you like a typical Pua.”

Or you can do what a man would do: you can look directly in her eyes, you can listen to her because you’re actually interested in who she is and what she’s all about as a person, and you can smile confidently because you’re having an amazing time together.

When she stands up to go to the bathroom, you can give her a sly look, an intriguing little smile, and she’ll wonder what the hell is going on in your mind. When she gets back, you can give her another smile again, and she’ll wonder what that smile is all about. You can continue to listen to her and share what’s really on your mind and build on the conversation, learn a little bit more about each other, actually talk to her and connect with her like a person. You can behave like a human being, like most people, instead of a sex-starved escalation machine.

Or you can continue to be some Pua wannabe, talking about how wet and hard you are and how you want to floss your teeth with her G-string after dinner.

That’s it for today.

I can tell you one thing.

Insomnia is brutal! Anyway here are my quick thoughts for today.

So you went out on a Saturday and you talked to 47 women, and you didn’t connect with any of them.

You did everything right.

You commented based on a real observation, you responded to what she said in the moment, you spoke what was on your mind, but yet,it just didn’t click.

You didn’t click with any of them.

You know why? It’s because you haven’t met anybody who appreciates you yet, so who gives a shit? Who cares?

You’ve got to appreciate you. No one’s going to appreciate you unless you appreciate yourself first.

Look at all the people you do business with, all the people you interact with professionally. Do they do business with you, do they think you’re cool as hell? It’s because they see you as you really are.

When we look at ourselves, we all see our neurotic sides.

So when we walked into Sears, I told him to watch and learn just how playful you can really be.

So when I walked into Sears, Passion Optical, ready for my glasses to be done with repairs. I walked in, and this woman behind the counter says to me, she goes, “Are you here for a pick-up?”

I said “Absolutely, I’m here for a pick-up.” She goes, “What’s your name?”

“No, I’m here to pick you up,” I replied.

Then all of a sudden she realizes what’s going on. Little did she know the ulterior motives I had with my client watching but when I said so, she came crawling back, talked with me even more, and was cracking up the entire time.

Think about all the times you go and you pick up something at a business.

How To Meet Women At Sears

In a restaurant, you walk in and they go, “What are you here for?” “I’m here for a pick-up.” And they go, “What’s your name?” “No-no-no-no, no. I’m here to pick you up. I didn’t order any food. You asked me if I was here for a pick-up. Absolutely, I told you, I am here for a pick-up.”

Think about how much more fun you have and think about how creative that is. It’s about being goofy, having fun, and really just admitting why you’re even there in the first place.

So the next time you go to a restaurant and they ask you if you’re here for what you’re here for, just tell her you’re here for a pick-up, and then they’ll wonder what name. Just don’t fumble it, and get your own name wrong!

So after the weekend, this morning, we met up again for a big breakfast and hung out and walked around. But I digress….

Yesterday we all went to Spitalfields Market, and everyone met so many cool women. For those of you who are in London, Spitalfields is a must. I ate so much great food again, I really stuffed myself. Then we sat to digest for a bit as I lead a really “heavy” discussion on dating!! Bo-bump-bump…pshhh!

You know that sound, that “bo-bump-bump” drum sound you hear at a bad comedy show? You know what “bo-bump-bump” is? That’s not just reserved for late-night talk shows, it’s also you when you become Punch-Line Guy.

Are you the guy that read somewhere on the Internet that women are really attracted to the funny guy? So now, in every conversation you have, you always want to make sure that you can show you’re funny, that you get the punch line out as quickly as possible? Basically you are punch line guy. You’re that guy who, within a minute of a conversation, whatever the topic, you have to end the conversation with this funny joke (well, at least that you think it’s funny).

Here’s the deal guys: That really takes both you and her out of a moment that could have been special. Punch-line guys tend to kill conversations because there’s not much to go on after you spew your cheesy punch-line. Especially if the punch line wasn’t that funny, maybe she’ll chuckle a little bit and then she’ll just realize the conversation is ending.
What most punch-line guys do is they just end the conversation with that mediocre punch line, they don’t keep it rolling. They take a perfectly good conversation and they feel like they have to spit the joke out somewhere to show her that they’re funny.

The reality is that you have plenty of chances to show her that you’re funny—at the right moments. But your problem is that you can’t risk waiting to be naturally funny, waiting to be funny at all the right moments. You have to do it now, you have to try to create the punch line moment because this is the ONLY moment to show her you’re worth getting to know.

I know what this is like because I used to be punch line guy. I was the class clown, I used to sit back and wait for my punch line in class. When I was first learning to talk to women, I’d always anticipate and wait for the punch line. I’d throw it out there and expect a big laugh but I never realized, when I was younger, that actually killed a lot of good conversations because I was killing the momentum.

All the punch line does is show that you’re not really listening and adding the conversation, it just shows that you want to be the center of attention, because that’s what punch line guy really is. He wants to be validated, he wants people to think he’s funny, and he wants to be the center of attention. So the next time you have your punch line guy moment, think to yourself, Is this really a proper moment for the punch line? Think about that. Will it keep the conversation flowing, or will it end the conversation like it has in the past?

Are you the shot buyer? That’s my favorite guy to watch when I go to a bar.

You walk into a bar and there he is. You’re standing next to this guy who says to everyone around him, “You guys want a shot?”

He’s always in a group of a few guys who are basically laughing at all of his jokes because he is a fun, jovial guy. He’s the shot buyer. He’s the guy who is buying drinks for people all night long.

So whenever women come around his general direction, he is always buying them a drink. He’ll say things like, “Come on girls, I’ll buy you a drink (or a shot)” or “Do a shot with me.”

Wheres Bill

The shot buyer is always a really nice guy. The problem is that getting people drunk usually doesn’t mean you’re going to connect with them.

You’re the fun guy. You’re the mixologist. You’re the party guy.

In reality, though, a lot of women don’t want to hang out with the shot buyer. They don’t want to hang out with the party guy. You’re fun for about ten or fifteen minutes.

When you get to a certain point in your life — when you’re 35 or 40 years old — you don’t really want to be the shot guy anymore. Women aren’t looking at you as the fun guy at this point. They are looking at you and wondering if you’re ever going to outgrow your college years.

Being the shot guy at 22 or 24 years old makes you the fun guy. You are a blast. You are the guy everyone calls and curses the next morning because they are so hungover from all the shots you bought them.

When you’re a bit older and you’re still the shot guy, however, it is probably the reason you are not meeting quality women. Most women can’t and don’t want to be drinking as much as you do.

So look deeper, Mr. Shot Buyer, and tell me if you’re REALLY happy buying everybody another round — or whether this behavior is masking a general disappointment in how you feel about your social life.

When you find that person you are like, take some time and watch ‘yourself.’ See how you act. See how you come off to people. See how people respond to you.

If you are not successful in a bar, then you probably are a lurker. So go ahead and watch ‘yourself’ as the lurker — watch a fellow lurker so you understand why you are not having much success.

Connecting with women is very simple. Make an observation, react, talk about the observation further. Speak with clarity, conviction and confidence. It is no different in a bar than anywhere else.

I don’t write about bars that often, but in reality they are a blast. They are a blast when you understand the dynamics of human communication. If you are a lurker, though, you don’t get it yet.

So look in the mirror. If you are a lurker, admit it and go seek medical help. Okay, you probably don’t need medical help — but you do need to seek my help!