I get asked a lot about how am I so good at being impromptu with strangers. People ask me how I am able to so easily and effortlessly communicate with people, and how I am able to take a simple observation and turn it into a conversation.
My response is this: It’s very easy, because I am not censored. I don’t censor myself.
I basically see something and I walk right over to it. It’s almost like when you were a little kid and you first learned how to catch a ball.
Your dad would be standing there, you would be standing there holding out the glove. Your dad would wind up, and your legs would be shaking as the ball came toward you.
What would you do? You would essentially put the mitt out in front of the ball to try and catch it, or you would cover your face and let the ball hit you in the head (depending on your athletic ability).
In reality, though, all you had to do was allow yourself to react to each pitch as it came toward you. That’s the same thing you have to do with conversation situations.
All I do is allow myself to react to every single situation. I don’t monitor myself. I don’t censor myself. When I see something, I react to it and it comes across as being very genuine.
The problem with most guys is that they’re always over-thinking, trying to figure out what to say or how to say it. By doing that, it never comes across as natural.
You can’t stand there for five or ten minutes before finally spitting out what you hope is the “right thing” to say. It’s so awkward. There is so much apprehension because you spent so much time trying to figure out what the right thing to say is.
There is no right thing to say. It’s the way you own the words and the way you speak. It’s the way you come across.
You can say anything, as long as you say it right away and you say it with authority. When you do that, you are going to command attention. It’s just the way it is.
If you want to really learn this, one of the best things to do is go to any city and look at homeless people. Look at the ones who get attention and who get money. They are the ones who go to people and say, “Hey, you look like you’re having a great day today.” Watch homeless people and learn from them.
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Come to one of my Bootcamps and get coached by my coaches and I, and we will give you every skill you need to be successful. We will kick your ass. You will have every bit of information you need to create total success in your dating life.
That by itself, though, is not enough for you to actually become successful. You need to be persistent and you need to believe in yourself.
Look at the most successful professional sports teams, and you will see that each one has these two qualities. Take last year’s New York Jets as a great example. 52 players who all believed in their coach, believed in their team and believed in themselves, and they achieved so much more than anyone thought they ever could.
Mark Sanchez was a nervous rookie, but he is going to be a great quarterback because of the experience he gained playing in the playoffs during his first year. There were probably 25 quarterbacks who were better players than Mark Sanchez at the time he was playing in the playoffs, but there he was as one of only four quarterbacks playing in those playoffs.
It’s about being prepared and sticking with your plan. It’s called persistence. It’s called believing in yourself and the people with whom you surround yourself.
What do you want out of life? Write it down. Learn the skills to get it. Then be persistent and believe.
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The other day, I was walking down the street with Sonja. This guy came up to us and said, “Do you like poetry?” I looked at him and said, “No.”
I just didn’t feel like being hassled. Whenever I’m walking down the street, I’m walking down the street to get somewhere — maybe to get some food or to go to a shop. I might just be walking the dog, but I’m usually going somewhere.
I don’t like being harassed when I go somewhere. I hate being asked for money. I think it’s crazy.
I hate these guys who want to play music for you. I know they’re trying to hustle, but I’m just not in the mood to be hustled.
This brings me to my point for this blog, which both men and women need to understand.
Every man I’ve ever coached wants to know how to meet women on the street. They want to know, “How can I stop her when she’s walking? How can I stop her on the street and meet her?”
What I say to the guys who ask me this is always the same thing: How do you feel when people stop you on the street? It’s irritating.
Now, if someone tries to casually talk to me when I’m window shopping at a store, I might engage in conversation and I might not. To be stopped when I’m briskly walking down the street to get to a destination, however, is annoying.
It’s just like the man today who asked us if we like poetry. That was annoying.
To all the guys who are just so obsessed with meeting women on the street, why don’t you just stop a woman and say, “Excuse me, do you like to be picked up while you’re running down the street?” There are so many people to meet. Don’t bother people when they’re walking.
You can smile. You can say hello. If they respond, maybe a conversation could ensue. Otherwise, most of us are just going to a destination.
When we get to that destination we’re relaxed. We’re happy. We’re in a better place to probably communicate and talk.
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I have a great new app for iPhones. It’s perfect. It’s something you need to install and download right away on your own phone.
As a matter of fact, I am going to call Apple, and I’m going to get this thing done.
It’s an app that is called “Lower Your Standards Time!”
Picture it. It’s 1:00 am and you’re standing in a bar. You’re drunk. All of a sudden your phone starts going crazy — beeping and vibrating. You look at it, and it says “It’s Lower Your Standards Time!”
“Look, there’s a drunk girl leaning against the bar right now. She just made out with a random guy in the corner. It’s time for you to go over there and get her number. It’s time to lower your standards!”
It is hilarious what we do at 1:00 am. It’s almost like we’re one of Pavlov’s dogs.
It is 1:00 am and you haven’t been successful all night long, so you automatically lower your standards and go for whoever you can possibly get so you can validate yourself that night.
Why? You do it so you can tell your friends you got a phone number. You, however, never tell your friends that it’s the phone number of a woman who was drunk, vomiting at the bar and won’t even remember who you are when you call her.
So, really, I think you know where I’m going with this. Why ever lower your standards?
The only reason why you ever lower your standards is because you don’t have the balls to talk to women to whom you are attracted. You get all full of panic because your ego wants something.
Your ego desires to get a phone number. It validates you that you actually could do something — even if it’s something that totally lowers your standards.
So, you know what? I’m going to have you download this new “Lower Your Standards” app from Apple. That way you can always kid yourself and think that you’re more successful than you really are.
The other option is for you to get on the ball and really start to meet the women to whom you are most attracted. Which option seems better?
CLICK HERE to find out the one way to never again be stuck settling and lowering your standards — and to always CHOOSE the women you want to meet.
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Still off on my vacation, and I wanted to give all of you a little motivation to get out there this weekend and start talking!
Do you ever see a hot woman working in a store, and wonder how to make yourself stand out from the pack of guys she sees all day long?
Attracting hot women in a store is simple, if you know this one trick to how to talk to them.
Watch this live in-field video to see how this store clerk ended up asking these guys out.
JUST 2 DAYS LEFT! I am offering something AWESOME just for my readers. On March 31st, I’ll be re-launching my “Become A Master Communicator” program on my site at its regular price. For the next 2 days, though, you can grab this product at the special introductory price (Come March 31st, you’ll NEVER see this price on this product again!). Also, anyone who grabs this product in the next 2 days, gets a slot on my upcoming “How To Succeed As A Master Communicator” Teleconference where I’ll be answering YOUR questions live on the call! CLICK HERE to grab your copy now!
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Do you know what I love? Man, I love doing a Bootcamp.
I love cramming all the guys into my car. Usually I have to drive around with Daphne or Sonja.
I also love when a guy at a Bootcamp comes up with a scenario he thinks is going to be a huge challenge for me. Nothing is a big challenge for me anymore, at least in the area of meeting women (and the emotions and concepts behind it).
It’s something that I’ve mastered, and it’s easy for me. I so enjoy now showing guys how it can be equally easy for them.
So it’s so great when I get challenged by one of the guys and am able to give them an easy solution. Then the biggest challenge is for that guy to actually go out and do what I say.
As you all know, being successful at meeting women is all about being in the moment, creating a moment and being real. So Adam, who came all the way from Australia to attend a Bootcamp here in L.A., had one of these “challenges” for me.
He said to me, “You know, I’m a workout guy. I go to the gym and I see women there, and it’s like they break my routine. It drives me bananas. There she is — on the treadmill, on the shoulder press. Here I am trying to make my body buff so all the women will think I’m a big guy and a stud.”
I told him I remembered that, because I was a big gym guy in my 20s too. I’d see that hottie and I just couldn’t concentrate any more. I’d be doing my sets, see her, and then I couldn’t concentrate at all because I’d be thinking to myself, “How can I continue to work out and get to know her?”
Well, once again, it’s all about the power of observation in this situation. How many times have you seen this woman before at the gym? What does she normally do for her workout? To whom have you seen her talking? Does she take any certain classes (like yoga)?
Ask yourself these questions. Once you know the answers, then you will have your approach.
Say you’ve seen that she uses the shoulder press every time she is at the gym, she likes to work her legs out hard, and you’ve seen her coming out of yoga class. Right there you have three different ways you can approach her.
You can walk over to her and say, “You know, I see you here all the time coming out of yoga class. How are the yoga classes here?” By saying this, you have opened up a line of communication.
You will then find out which nights she takes yoga, and then of course you will go and twist yourself into a pretzel on one of the nights she goes. You’ve already established a relationship – first contact.
Maybe you have noticed that she is aways hustling on the treadmill or the Stairmaster. So what do you do in that situation?
You get on the Stairmaster or treadmill next to her. She probably has her antisocial device (aka her iPod earphones) in her ears. So you point to them, and have her pull those out of her ears.
Then you look at her and say, “I’ll race you. Where do you want to go? You’ve already got a head start on me, so let me catch up.” Then you start running really fast to be a little comical. She will start cracking up, and you will start a conversation with her.
How do I know this? It’s funny, but I can hear you saying “Are you sure this is going to work?” I did this throughout my 20s, 30s and 40s.
Am I sure this is going to work? I am as sure as I know the sun will come out tomorrow (like Annie said in that play). I am as sure as I know I will have a morning hard-on. I am as sure as I know that I will be thirsty when I wake up. It will work.
Here is another thing you can do at the gym. Let’s say she is working out on the machines. You can look at her and say, “Man, you’re breaking a sweat. I don’t know if I can do that much weight.” You just be funny.
Then you ask if you can work in with her. When you get on the machine, you squeeze really hard pretending to be having a hard time with her weight and say, “One . . . that’s all I can do. You’re buff.” Have a good time with her and you will get her laughing and talking.
CLICK HERE to find out the EASY way I approach women at some of the other places you go to every day.
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