A lot of people spend so much time masturbating – they spend so much time physically pleasuring themselves. But really, the best form of masturbation is mental masturbation.

How do you mentally get off? What do you do in life to really stimulate your brain? To stimulate your mind? To stimulate your soul? Are you constantly working, constantly building up a life, but yet not doing anything to mentally masturbate?

And what do I mean by the term ‘mental masturbation?’ I mean, how do you enjoy your mind? How do you enhance your mind?

Think for a second: when is the last time you went on a trip? When is the last time that you did something that you really wanted to do – without any rules and regulations?

How many of you work really hard but never take vacation time? How many of you make money but never really spend it on things that you want? Even when you’re in the store, you debate about whether or not you should buy it. You debate about whether or not you deserve it.

My motto is that if you work really hard, you deserve everything that you can do.

You need to start masturbating your mind. You need to start enjoying things. You need to make a list of five places that you want to go, five things that you want to experience that you’ve never done before.

You need to say – as Miles said to Joel in Risky Business – do you remember that scene in Risky Business when Joel had the hooker party and the guy from Princeton was there, and Joel was all nervous because he didn’t think he’d get into Princeton? And Miles looked at him and said, “sometimes you have to say, ‘what the fuck.’”

You’ve got to say ‘what the fuck.’ Instead of thinking about who you want to fuck, and instead of chasing people you want to fuck, why don’t you start saying ‘what the fuck?’

Why don’t you start enjoying your life in every capacity? Make a list of five things that you want to do. Make a list of the things that you really want to experience. Do something crazy. Buy yourself something that you’ve never bought yourself before – just because you can.

Enjoy yourself. Life is just not about chasing the opposite sex. Life is about fulfilling your mind, fulfilling your soul, and that is the real concept behind mental masturbation.

It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.

I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”

The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi?

Anyway, I really think it’s time that men stop rating women on the number scale, and started evaluating women on a whole new system.

I am going to explain this whole new system. This new system is so revolutionary, guys, that women are not going to look at you as man-boys anymore. Women hear you say that stuff. I’ve seen guys out in a bar, and they look at a woman and they…

Come on man, wake up! It’s unbelievable. We’re doing this blog as we drive, and if any of you have not driven in Los Angeles, the horn in LA is called the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. People love to just sit at that light. There’s not much to do at a light. You have two things to do: you stop and you stare at the light, and when it turns green, you go.

But in LA, it’s amazing how many times the light turns green, and they just sit there. Being a New Yorker, I’m going to use the horn, because I love that horn. And in Los Angeles, by the way, too, the directional blinker is optional equipment, because no one ever signals here. So you can save a thousand bucks off your car.

But let’s get back to that number system. So I was in a bar one night, and these guys were standing there and rating women, and women were hearing them. “Oh man, she’s a 6.” And that’s really classless. You’re 40 years old, and you’re rating women on a scale from one to ten? You sound like an immature child!

So how would you like a covert system where you actually can go and meet a woman, and afterwards you can say words that women will hear over and over again, but will have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about? Hell, you can rate these women right in front of their faces and they’ll have no idea what you are talking about!

It’s time to grow up, and it’s time to use the new system of rating people. I’m not talking about the Nielsen ratings, I’m not talking about the Arbitron ratings for radio; I’m talking about the new system here that Khiem is so proud of that he’s thinking of patenting it.

And he hasn’t even thought it up – it isn’t even his. But he’s going to share something with you guys that you need to learn. It’s called, for you technical guys, YMN.

Khiem: Thank you, David. You’re right, you shouldn’t rate women on a scale, because truthfully, at what number is a woman attractive to you? A 6? Above a 5? How about you simplify it to yes, no, and maybe.

Let’s be honest: would you want her? Yes or no. And if you’re not sure, then maybe. Maybe can be a lot of things. Maybe could be if she has a good personality, and you just might want to do her. But if she’s really bad, then she falls quickly into the no category.

Let’s be honest here. You’re a man, and you meet a woman. We’ll put you one-on-one in a room, and assuming that there are no distractions, how much do you desire her?

It’s so much simpler. And even when you wink at each other in the bar or wherever you are, she’s like, yeah – okay, I don’t even know what you mean, David, I can see it in your eyes!

David: It’s a yes or a no!

Khiem: It’s a yes or a no, there’s no ifs ands or buts about it. It’s just yes or no. Once in a while, you’ll get the occasional maybe, and that’s why you go up and talk to her. When you’re not sure, go find out! Go find out and be curious about her.

And then you can come home and say, “you know guys, I saw a yes girl,” or “no way, I saw a no girl.” And it’s so much easier.

It doesn’t matter what your guys tell you – it’s all up to you. Either you like her or you don’t.

David: Not only that, but think about this: you might run into a woman in the street, and you might see her walking to Whole Foods, and she might actually work in Whole Foods, or whatever, and she’s a maybe. You’re not quite sure about her yet. Guess what? You met a maybe! That means you can go back in there and meet her again. She might turn into a yes; she might turn into a no.

I’ve had maybes that have turned into yeses, and I’ve had maybes that have turned into nos. Hell, I’ve had some maybes that have turned into long-term relationships! I wasn’t quite sure about her the very first time I met her. I wasn’t quite sure about her personality, and who she was. And I learned more about her the second time around.

So expand your horizons! Become a yes-no-maybe man. Lay off the number system. Numbers are great – on a calendar. Numbers are great on a phone. Let’s look at my car right now – it is 68°. Does that mean that the women around us are all 6.8s?

So let’s lay off the number system, guys, and let’s go to yes, no, and maybe. It’s going to make you sound a hell of a lot more mature in life. Really, the fact of the matter is that these numbers are just validating you anyway. Every guy wants to be with that “perfect 10.”

Really, the perfect 10 comes from inside out. And the perfect 10 is very different for each guy. You don’t need to tell your friends that she’s a 10, you don’t need to high-five, your friends don’t need to validate you; you need to validate yourself!

Go after what you want with a vengeance. If it’s a yes, go after her and ask her out! If it’s a no, then be nice to her because she may lead you to a bunch of yeses.

But, once again, be open to everything.

Alright, that’s it. I’m sitting at a green light right now, and I’m the lead car. In Los Angeles, it’s really important to be the lead car. If you’re the lead car, you don’t have to use the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. If you’re the lead car, the only you have to do is make sure that the person next to you doesn’t weave into your lane – they tend to be lane weavers here too.

Do you have lane weavers in your town?

Have you ever woken up with that morning erection? Most guys do.

But here’s the thing about it – the way to wake up with a morning erection is not to poke her in the back between the ribs and say, “look at my dick!” That doesn’t work. We’ve all tried that plenty of times before.

Hell, I’ve even written a blog about ‘morning boner,’ which really talks about all the ways to turn her off with your morning boner – here’s the link:

But how do you really turn her on in the morning?

Well, you should just act like the boner is no big deal. Ignore the boner! Act like you’ve already had it. Just like we talk about when you’re seducing a woman, make it seem like you’ve done this a thousand times – like you just had sex last night, but she doesn’t know it.

So what do you do with this morning boner?

You just kind of casually brush it up against her. You kiss her a little bit. You don’t acknowledge it – you let her acknowledge it. Because if she feels that throbbing member close to her, and you’re not acting like a four-year-old saying, “feel my dick!” she’s going to get really turned on.

So what’s a great way to turn her on, and keep her hot all day long?

Give her what she wants, but don’t release what you need to do. This means you should climb inside of her, and get her off a few times in the morning, but don’t cum. Tell her you want to build it up all day long; tell her you want to think about her all day long.

Tell her you want to have a fun, long session that night, but right now, it’s all about her. You just want to get her off and you want to make her feel really good.

That is going to get her amped up all day long. She’s going to be all over Mr. Boner later on that day. She’ll be thinking about that boner all day long, and she’s going to be dreaming about that boner all day long.

Make it about her for a little while, because when you make it about her, you’re really going to turn her on and make her feel great. You’re really going to go further sexually than you’ve ever gone before.

So the next time you wake up with a morning boner, get her off! Go side to side – which is one of my favorite positions – side to side, leg on top of her, rolled on the side. Take your morning boner, put it inside and start rubbing her clit gently. Get her to cum a few quick times. Give her that morning orgasm.

And then you just kick back and wait until later, because she will give you the ride of your life that night!

Hi David, it’s your old friend The Sultry Brunette here. A strange pattern has developed in my love life that I just had to share with you. I’m hoping you might have some words of advice – or at least be able to explain how this could be.

I know I became known on the website for my blog about how I was the world’s leading expert in “faking it” Boy has life changed since then!!

I am a woman who is very comfortable with herself and confident around men – once I know for a fact that a man is attracted to me. In fact, David, I have in recent months gone from the woman who faked all of her orgasms … to the woman who is having quite an active and very enjoyable sex life.

I have been spending time with a man with whom I share an intense chemistry. We went out on a date a long time ago but hooked up again recently after a random text message flirting session. I know he’s very attracted to me (as I am to him), and he does nothing to hide that.

The first night we got together, I had my first ever during-sex orgasm. That was amazing!! I’ve always liked a guy who knows how to kiss, but this guy feels like he just possesses you – and he gets turned on by how turned on I get. Plus everything he does is slow but intense … very hot combination. But of course I wondered if my orgasm might be a fluke…

Once that big milestone occurred, things just started to snowball. He and I have been getting together a few times a week and the sex (and the orgasms) not only have continued to get better and better, but I have found a “wild side” to me that I never knew I had.

We have had sex in virtually every position I know of (and a few that I’d never heard of before). I want him to have better and more intense orgasms every time we’re together – and he says the same about me. So our efforts to achieve this have been very fun!

The third night he and I were together, we were in the middle of having some incredible sex – in fact I think we were on our second or third time and our umteenth position – and all of a sudden I had not one orgasm …. but THREE! It was the way he looked into my eyes and created this very intense moment, and then when the first one happened he just kept our connection so intense from our eyes to every part of our body that the second and third ones seemed to be just released from out of nowhere. Incredible!

I have to admit that I thought women being multi-orgasmic was a myth. Let me tell you … I am a true believer now! I was literally trembling afterwards – and I’ve never seen a man look so proud to have created something

The next time he and I were together, I not only was able to repeat my triple orgasm, but in fact was able to add one more onto that! Not only that, but that last orgasm was so intense that I literally lost consciousness for about a minute. I didn’t even know where I was when I opened my eyes!

You know what’s so crazy too, is that what seems to trigger the third and fourth orgasms is the fact that we are totally connected during all this hot sex – and right when it’s about to happen he always seems to whisper in my ear how hot the sex is, how turned on he is … and how turned he gets being able to give me all these orgasms. That whisper in my ear just seems to put me over the edge.

Since then, he proposed, and I agreed, to have a threesome with another guy. It was great! And not at all what I thought it would be. It was amazing and hot to be touched by four hands at once, and to feel totally consumed.

I also now know that my ability to be multi-orgasmic is not limited to my chemistry with this one guy either. I loved the sleeping sandwiched between the two of them the most. It was so intense to be totally surrounded by these two guys. Plus, since this was more of a “taking turns” kind of threesome – I loved that it turned my guy on to watch me.

We are still experimenting and exploring … In fact, David, he and I the other night tried each and every one of your “sexiovascular” positions! While I liked the last one the best, I can testify that just as you said in the blog each and every one of those positions will make women cum (or cum multiple times like in my case).

So I’m writing you now not only to let you know that I am no longer needing to “fake it” – EVER – but I’m also writing you about a couple other parts to this story.

I am currently building a new business and so I’ve loved the arrangement I’ve had with this guy – which is that we see each other a few times a week and just enjoy each other’s company Because right now I need and want to put virtually all of my time and focus into my business. So, while I obviously want a relationship with someone at some point, right now I just want to be able to enjoy a connection with someone that is deep and fun – but that is not a relationship.

Last Saturday night, I went over to my guy’s house and after kissing me hello he says “You know, I don’t think we should have sex anymore.” I was like “huh?!?!!!!” at first …

I said “Why are you saying that? Are you not feeling attracted to me anymore?” Then he grabbed me, pushed me against the wall, ground against me while giving me this crazy passionate kiss … When we came up for air, he said “What do you think?”

I said – “OK, well if attraction isn’t the issue, why do you think we shouldn’t have sex anymore?” He said “Cause we can’t anymore.”

Then I smiled at him, pushed him away from me and the wall, and took him over to the couch where he immediately pulled me into his lap to hold me. Then I said “Just tell me what’s on your mind, and we’ll figure out what’s going on from there.”

He finally said “You’re a woman. I know how women are — no matter what they eventually want to have a serious relationship with you once you’ve been having sex … and I’ve been happily and intentionally single for 5 years — I don’t want a serious relationship. And I can’t keep my hands off you, so we have to stop having sex.”

I took a small pause – before I started laughing at him. Yes — I laughed.

Then I said “You’re operating under a very erroneous assumption here … that I want to have a serious relationship with you. Let me tell you where I stand on all this. I am very attracted to you. We have been having some of the most amazing and incredible sex I’ve ever had in my life. I’d like continue to enjoy more of that amazing and incredible sex with you — and to see how much more amazing and incredible we can get it to be. But I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I am putting all my energy right now into my new business and I don’t have the time or the interest right now in getting serious with anyone. So … it sounds like we’re on the same page there. If you want keep enjoying each other and our sexual connection together – I would love to continue seeing you. The only question for me is whether you feel that same intense chemistry with me that I do with you … if so, I think we’re good”

He said “Wow, I’m stunned. Most women, even if they want that, are not confident enough to just come out and say it. I’m speechless.” I said “Well, you think about it … but if you’re attracted to me you will let me know right now, and then I’ll know where we stand. You don’t make a move, then I’ll also know. It’s your serve.” Not two seconds later he leaped across the couch and was on top of me kissing me … that was the last word of conversation we had for a couple hours

Now although I thought his comments were noteworthy – here’s the part I need your help to understand (and hopefully fix!) — I think someone reading this might believe I am a woman who oozes confidence all the time.

Well, as you know about me already David, this isn’t always true. I am extremely confident professionally and, as I mentioned above, I am very confident and open sexually with men I KNOW find me attractive.

What I still cannot do is to smile, flirt, make serious eye contact with or approach men if I don’t know whether or not they find me attractive. So, while I am having all this crazy sex, I can’t approach a guy I find attractive in the coffee house and say hello!

I feel very insecure and nervous to approach (and especially to flirt) with men until I know they have an interest in me. My experience, too, is that men do not seem to show a lot of indication of this in these situations. I feel like if I’m smiling at a man he’s going to think I’m “coming onto him” which if he is not attracted to me will make him feel very uncomfortable.

So David, here’s where I’m asking for your assistance and insight. Does it seem odd to you that I can be so comfortable with men in some situations but so uncomfortable? Any words of advice or explanation?

Thanks! SB

So here’s what you need to do to perform excellent sexiovascular activities. There are a couple of different positions that you need to know, and a few different training exercises.

One is man on top, woman on bottom.

Alright – yeah, we’re talking about sex! If you want to get a great SEX-pack, listen up!

So what you do is get the woman on the bottom. What you do at that point is that get on top of her, you climb in and insert yourself into her – we need to get technical here for all of you work-out junkies – you then need to lift your body off of hers.

At this point, your elbows are locked, your chest is in a bit of an Upward Dog position in yoga – if you don’t know what that is, go to www.yoga.com and look up the position “Upward Dog.”

Then, at that point, you’re actually curling your spine – this is a great spinal thing – and while you’re curling your spine, you need to suck your back ribs in. If you suck your back ribs in, you’re just going to be moving directly from your hips and stomach.

At this point you start curling into her. You should do ten sets of ten.

She will cum before then, because it’s going to hit the clit really hard! But you need to do at least ten sets of ten.

It’s going to be a great workout for you. It will work the following muscles: your chest, your back, your shoulders, your hip flexors, and it will also build up your sex-pack (your stomach.)

Another great exercise is to lie on top of her, and put all of your body weight on top of her. Then you take your arms and put them underneath her shoulders. At this point, you should start curling your body into her.

Take your hips and move them; curl them directly into her. At the same time, you need to take your arms and start jamming her – start moving her and pushing her down. As you’re pushing her down, your hips are curling into her.

Not only is she going to have a huge orgasm, you’re going to build up great shoulders, arms, and abs. Not to mention that it’s a great sexiovascular workout because you’ll be breathing heavy and panting during the whole thing.

Another great sexiovascular exericise is to lay on the bottom with the woman on top. Get your woman on top and start curling those hips into her. She’s on top, and she’s riding you, and this is a great exercise for her inner thighs at this point – if she’s riding you correctly, you want her to straddle your penis and jump up and down on your penis using the power of her inner thighs and quad muscles.

But at the same time, don’t just lie there like a dead sack of wood. You want to curl your body into her. Curling your body into her uses a couple of different muscles. For one, you’re using your hips again, and you’re also working on your sex-pack.

Another great exercise when you’re on the bottom is to pull her close to you – of course, give her a good kiss at the same time – but then pull her close, hold her really tight, and just rock her back and forth. That’s an intense ab workout. Make sure you breathe at the same time.

Another great one when she’s on top is to dead lift her – this is a great chest workout. So while she’s on top of you, using her quads, you want to guide her body up and down. You’re going to get some good shoulder work there, and chest work; you’ll get a little bit of arm work at the same time.

Take your hands, grip around her waist and start lifting her up and down. Do ten sets of ten. Count to ten. Not only will she have a nice orgasm, but you’re also going to build your body up.

Now what’s the best part of sex? It’s after sex, when you’re done. You get to go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and see how pumped up your body is.

One of my favorite things to do all of the time is to check out how pumped up my body gets after sex. I like to just check out every single muscle, everything else.

And there are a few other things you can do. If you’ve got good gripping, you can put her up against the wall and you can start doing leg lifts into her. It’s very simple – you need to insert your penis into her vagina, and you need to thrust it upwards. At the same time, you’re holding her against the wall – that’s going to take a lot of chest and shoulder work.

At that same time, you’re basically balancing her hips on your dick. When you’re balancing her hips, you’re basically thrusting up into her, working on your quads, but you’re absolutely blowing out your buttocks muscles. By doing that up and down, you’re doing some great dead lifting.

Another great exercise when you have her hanging out over the side of the bed – she’s on the bed, lying flat and her legs are down on the ground, and you’re entering her from behind – no, you’re not anally pounding her to death, you’re entering her pussy.

A woman can get a great wrist exercise during this position by playing with her own clitoris – this will build her wrist muscles up so she doesn’t get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome – this is a great Carpal Tunnel exercise.

While she’s playing with her pussy, you’re going from behind and entering her in and out. You’re standing up, so you’re getting some leg work; you’re also getting some good ab work.

But you need to thrust her really hard and fast during this so it’s a sexiovascular workout at the same time.

Those are some fantastic ways to work out when you are having sex.

So the next time you go to work out: forget Pilates, forget yoga, forget cardiovascular – join us in a sexiovascular workout!

Here’s the thing: most guys are nice. There are a small percentage of guys that are assholes, but let’s forget about them. There are some guys who are bad boys as well, but let’s forget about them too.

Let’s assume you are a nice guy, and you think that women don’t really like nice guys.

Let me tell you something: women will go out with a nice guy any day of the week if that nice guy is the best guy they’ve had in bed. That is all it takes for a nice guy to keep a woman.

You could be the nicest guy in the world, you could be gentlemanly, you could be sweet, caring and honest, but let’s face the facts: if you don’t eat pussy well, you’re done!

There is nothing worse than a nice guy who can’t please a woman orally. There is nothing worse than a nice guy who can’t perform in bed.

So here’s the deal. If you are a nice guy, you’d better start taking some major sex classes, tantric classes, and other things. Because if you’re a nice guy and you’re a minuteman – a pumper and dumper – you’re absolutely correct: you’re gone, finished, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

But to keep a woman satisfied, you have to make sure she is sexually satisfied. Any nice guy can actually be a bad boy in the bedroom. A woman won’t be expecting you to be a tiger in bed.

I have met some women that seemed shy – so shy – and then all of a sudden, we start fooling around and the next thing I know it feels like I have a Hoover vacuum cleaner on my dick! And I’m thinking, who the hell is this? This mild-mannered girl in life can’t possibly be this kinky in the bedroom!

So if you’re a nice guy you’d better start learning how to be better in bed. You should learn everything you can about sex – every sexual technique there is. Learn tantric sex, learn how to control your orgasms, learn how to be orally talented. Learn how to do a lot of different things in bed. Learn how to please a woman.

So she meets you, figures you’re a nice guy, she’s intrigued by you and interested in you a little bit and she gives you an opportunity. Maybe she’s a little horny one night and then she decides to give you an opportunity in bed.

Do you want to blow her away, Mr. Nice Guy? Do you want to make her look at you in a whole different light?

Become an amazing lover. If you’re an amazing lover you’re going to keep her satisfied and intrigued for a long time to come. Most guys are shitty lovers.

So Mr. Nice Guy, this blog is all for you! If you don’t know if you’re a good lover, or you suspect that you’re not, you’d better start reading up on it. I expect my inbox to be flooded with emails today!

Todays video is all about how to have fun and become less uptight.
If you want to meet the opposite sex you need to watch this video.

It has a lesson and an exercise that is great for everyone.

If any of you have seen Leon on my site…he is the young black man on my home page bottom….I think he is the 5th or 6th video.

He was uptight before he did this exercise in the video. Check out how he is now.

That can be you!!

I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”

Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.

It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are.

For instance, if someone is in his or her late forties, they always write, “I’m 48, but I’m a young 48. I don’t look like I’m 48.” Nobody thinks that they look like their age. You either look good for your age, or you don’t.

I’m 46 years old, and I look good for my age. I know people who are my age that don’t – and they admit it. Some of us look good for our age, and some of us don’t. It’s the way life is. The way we are depends on the way we take care of ourselves – our exercise routines, our genes, everything.

So stop building yourself up on your profile. Let the reader make a decision based on your photo about if you look good for your age. When you build yourself up like this, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you say, “I really look great for my age,” and somebody upon seeing your photo disagrees, then you will take it as a personal insult.

Profiles are just fantasy – and often nothing more. People write whatever they want to write. They don’t tell you the truth! If someone is slightly overweight, they aren’t going to tell you that in their profile! They will give you this beautiful picture of who they are.

We’re people, and we all have our faults. We all have flaws. And the only way to find that out is to go out and meet people. If you took the amount of time you spend online dating and actually went out into the real world to talk to people, you wouldn’t go back to spending so much time with online dating.

You can’t make one thing your only resource. You need to do what I call the ’20-20-20-20-20 rule.’ 20% of your life can be online dating, 20% can be meeting men or women in supermarkets, 20% can be meeting them in coffee shops, 20% can be parties… whatever it is.

You have to diversify your portfolio – your dating and people meeting portfolio. If this year, all you invested in was the S & P 500, you’d be down about 20% in the stock market right now.

If you bought real estate in 2005 thinking the market would get better, you’d be down about 40% – 80% right now, depending on the market that you’re in. Life is all about diversification.

The next time that you are angry with the internet, or angry with people in their online dating profiles, ask yourself: are you diversified in the way you meet people? If you’re not, you are never going to meet anybody.

So get out there and diversify!

Today lets spend our Sunday talking about nice guys.

Are you a nice guy that always seems to be in the friend zone.

Todays podcast will open your eyes to say the least.

Click here to download…

Have a great Sunday.

Do you know what is great? Practicing your storytelling. Women are attracted – actually, people in general are attracted to people who are charismatic and can tell a good story.

I know I’ve written blogs about telling stories before, but I want to go even deeper into this today. There are so many emotions that you can convey to people through stories. They tell something about your personality.

When you are there and you are talking to somebody, and they are in quiet mode – sometimes we’re in quiet mode, sometimes we’re in talkative mode – but let’s say this person is in quiet mode. All of a sudden, you start doing the talking – you’d better be interesting! All of us are interesting because we’ve all done things in our lives – but the difference is in the way we share that story.

How do you share a story? How do you tell a story? Are you a fact person? There are two ways you can tell a story. You could talk about your summer vacation last year, and you could either a) do what many people do and just state the facts:

“My summer vacation last year was a lot of fun. We went to Norway, where my sister’s husband is from, and we all traveled together as a family, and then we went over to London, which I thought was great because it was my first time there. And then we went to New York and hung out with some friends before we came back to Colorado.” Those are facts.

Now, in order to really turn another being on – to turn a woman on – in order to get a new friend – you’d better be interesting.

So here’s another version of that story that I think you need to learn. You’re hanging out, and the other person says, “so what did you do for your last summer vacation?” You say in a very passionate tone:

“Last summer was amazing. It was so great, my sister married this unbelievably cool guy from Norway, and she’s been really happy with him. My sister is somebody that I really didn’t think would find somebody, but she found this guy, and he treats her great, and he’s really big into family. They want to have a big extended family.

So he invited me to come to Norway. Of course, I paid for my ticket and everything, I mean he was generous with his heart, but he didn’t, like, treat everybody….”

As you can see here, I’m using a little bit of humor also as I’m conveying and telling my story. So let’s go back to the story:

“…so it was amazing – I’ve never been to Norway before, and it was just so fantastic, especially in the summertime – it stays light. It’s unbelievable – you’re walking around at 10:30 at night, and the sky is this intense blue color, and the sun is still out, and it almost shimmers off of the buildings.

But people are still out, and it’s a whole different vibe. It’s not like the daytime vibe, where everybody is like walking around all hustle and bustle – but it’s like the nighttime vibe, but during the day. And it was really wild – I would sit there in these cafés, and I’d be tired, but it would be light out! And I couldn’t even imagine going to sleep.

It was great, because he took us on so many different excursions all over the place. We saw some of the most beautiful lakes I’ve ever seen in my entire life – lakes that were shimmering, they were so clear. But they were ice cold, and he told us stories about his family.

We met some of his family, his cousins – it was such a great trip. Not only because my sister was so happy, but because I met some amazing people on the way and made some great friends. The Norwegians are so open – they invite you in to dinner and they make you dinner, and they want you to eat, and be happy, and they share stories with you.

The whole trip was just intense. It was so intense that I really just wanted to go spend time alone. I had a round trip ticket from Colorado to Sweden, but I really just wanted to do something different – I looked at a map of Europe, I threw down a nickel, and I said I’d go wherever it was – even if I’d been there before.

Sure enough, with my luck – it was London. I’ve been to London like seven times, but I was like, fine – no big deal. I’m going to hop Ryan Air, go to London, and have a different experience.

So I booked this really great little hotel that was in Covent Garden – kind of central city if you’ve been to London – but really central city. What I did was just walked around and had a different adventure every day. I would go to different neighborhoods, I would explore different food, and it was just so great to have these three days by myself.

So I could go on and on and on about this, but that’s what I did during my summer vacation last year…”

So, as you can see, there are two different versions of it. I’m sitting here with Pete, a really good guy that is totally quiet one moment, and then starts entertaining me with stories the next moment. I just did one of my bootcamps, and I’m going to ask him right now: do you see the difference in the way those two stories are told?

Pete: Absolutely, man. You feel the difference. You experience one story, and the other one, you just hear.

David: What did you feel? I saw your eyes, but describe it. The first story, I was stating the facts, and the second story, what did you feel when I was telling it?

Pete: Let me pick out one thing. When you told me about how it was like nighttime calm, and nighttime relaxed, but the sun was shining – when you said that, I really recognized that feeling. And I felt it at that moment.

David: And that’s how you bond with people. That’s the big difference. For instance, we’re sitting here right now on a canal in Amsterdam – it’s beautiful. People are going by in boats, and it’s very intense and fun. It’s relaxing. It’s seven o’clock at night, and it’s the big chill, just kind of hanging out before dinner.

Pete, when you were jean shopping today – we took him shopping because we really wanted him to convey a new, hipper, and fresh, fun look – how did you not tell your story? What was that big lesson – that big aha – that you had?

We went into this Levis store, and we’d been jean shopping already – so he already knows what doesn’t look good on him, he knows what does look good. So we walked up to this salesgirl, and he just went into boring guy mode – he just said, “what jeans look good on me, ja?” Am I right?

Pete: You are right!

David: And he just stood there – she was showing him jeans and he was saying, “that’s a nice wash.” But what do you do in that situation when you have such mental block?

You use the power of the story, again. You create that story. So you walk in and you look at her and say, “I hope you are going to be able to rescue me right now,” and she’s going to say, “why?” “Because I have been jean shopping all day long and I just can’t find one that fits my butt right” – you get playful too, in that sense. You turn around, you show her your butt…

Then you say, “I’m going to let you have the power of picking out the denim for me.” You just have a little bit of fun with it. She shows you some jeans, and you ask, “is that the best you can do?” and challenge her a little bit. You get playful a little bit, “is that the BEST you can bring out? Come on, I know you can do better than that!”

We did that in the shoe store tonight – we challenged them with shoes, remember? I said, “show me your favorite pair. Oh, you could do better! Show me a different pair,” and we were playing around with them.

But you create that story. If you’re shopping for shoes, you could talk about how you had a quest for shoes all day long, but we happened to have used jeans. So you see the difference?

You don’t just walk in and wait for people to amuse you – you walk in and that’s how you have great conversations every single time. If that person can’t keep up with you, it doesn’t matter, because it’s obviously not meant to be.

So do you get the difference?

Pete: Absolutely.

David: Alright, we’ll let’s go walk around and get some dinner!

Todays video is all about how to create powerful openers. The whole idea is to have fun and be playful!!

Over the weekend at the bootcamp i was asked by one of my clients how I lost my virginity and if it was a special night.

Lets just say it was and still is a very funny story that i love to tell.

Todays video is all about how to expand your social network.

I have been asked this question so many times that today i decided to share with you one of my most comical days ever!

I was in college, and I remember my roommate was named Jim – he was a big football player for Northeastern, and we were freshman. We’d drink on the weekends – he’d get a case of beer and sit in front of my black-and-white television. Black-and-white: it was 1980!

He’d sit in front of my little 13” TV – he watched that TV so much, he burnt the bulb out! So he sat in front of my TV, and we’d drink a case of beer. One night, Cindy Cassman and I got high, and we were stoned out of our minds. I’d did not have much to eat, and I was stoned.

We’re walking around the dorms, and we went back up to the room, and we get naked. We’re fooling around, and she asked, “so, do you have any condoms?” Of course I did – I had 36 of them! When I went to college, I bought three dozen condoms because I was thinking, college girls? I’m going to get laid! I was the low man on the totem pole.

So I had 36, but they were the red box – the unlubricated ones. The cheaper ones. So I said, “sure I’ve got some rubbers,” and I grabbed one and put it on my dick, and I start to feel it getting softer, and I’m thinking, oh shit, I’m nervous…

So I quickly get on top of her and as I’m getting on top of her, it was like my dick saw the vagina and just freaked out – it just fucking lost it. I came before I even got inside her. And I started mumbling something because I was so embarrassed, and I was just mumbling.

I took the condom and I threw it across the room. And you know – at 18 years old, you’ve got big loads! You could hear the thing thudding against the wall. At 45, your loads are pretty light – they could fly for a while. So I threw it across the room, and it might have hit Jim – but he had a case of beer, so what the hell did he know?

So Cindy looked at me, and asked, “well, what happened?” “Oh, um..” I grumbled and pretended to pass out. And I lay there, and I remember the whole night thinking, holy shit man – 18 ½ and I almost got laid, and I blew it – literally. This is ridiculous!

The next night, we decided to go out again, and we went to this place that served pu-pu-platters and scorpion bowls. In Boston, it was a bitch to drink – in New York, the drinking age was 18, but in Massachusetts the drinking age was 20. So I had my paper license from New York – every other state had picture licenses, and so I couldn’t get into any bars.

I was the low man on the totem pole – except for this one Chinese restaurant, which served everybody. And it was a stereotypical Chinese restaurant: you walk in there, broken English, “oh we help you very much tonight.” Everything was very stereotypical. The umbrellas in the drinks – it was hysterical. So we went and got a scorpion bowl, and we got loaded.

At this point, you’ve got to think about my stomach – now my first 21 or 22 years of my life, I was known as “diarrhea Dave.” You have to realize a night of drinking the night before with some beers and a scorpion bowl coupled with bad Chinese food – you have to figure what was going to happen.

So here we are, we sucked down the scorpion bowl, we sucked down the Chinese food, and we go to her dorm room. We get there and we’re naked again, fooling around, and all of a sudden I saw a diaphragm. I knew she had a boyfriend back home, but I guess the diaphragm was reserved for him – that’s what you do at 18, you reserve your diaphragm for your boyfriend, but you can still have sex someone else!

She looked at me and asked, “do you have any condoms?” And I said, “no. Do you want me to get one?” She answered, “absolutely.” I’m thinking, great!

It’s 1981. I put on my tight jeans, my white and brown-tipped cowboy boots, and my leather jacket. I’m in Boston, and it’s February. I walk out of her dorm, which was right around the corner from my dorm room. I walk out and around the corner, and I start running. I’m thinking, I’m getting laid finally! I’m so happy.

And as I turn the corner, I wipe out on a patch of ice, I go flying up in the air and land right square on my hip – BOOM. I’m lying there, with the wind knocked out of me in the middle of Huntington Avenue in 5° Boston ball-breaking weather, trying to get a deep breath.

Finally I get a deep breath, and I get up and realize I’m hurting – it’s throbbing a lot. I landed right on my hip! I’m like limping my way back to the dorm, it’s cramping up, and I’m thinking, goddamnit this hurts! This is going to bruise; it’s going to be ugly.

So I get back into the dorm and all of a sudden I feel the scorpion bowl start to move around a little bit. I hear this sudden noise and I realize, oh, man – I have diarrhea! I don’t even make it to my floor – I make it to the third floor men’s room, and I go in the toilet and I’m basically hanging out for quite some time.

I’m there for like 20, 25 minutes –i was so nervous and my nervous stomach was acting up to say the least. I came the night before and I couldn’t even get inside her – now we’re going to try to have sex again and this is 18 ½ years of pure pressure building up!

So finally I emerge from the stall, and I was white as ghost. I go up to my room and I get a couple of condoms. At this point, it’s about 45 minutes later.

As I walk back to her dorm room, I see the patch of ice and walk AROUND it. My hip is still killing me, my stomach is burning, and I’m dehydrated from having the runs for 45 minutes!

I get there, and she asks, “what took so long?” Now I can’t tell the girl that I’m about to have sex with for the very first time in my life that I slipped on a patch of ice and had diarrhea – these are the reasons it took me 45 minutes!

So I said to her, “I couldn’t find the condoms.” So I get undressed, and I’m looking at my dick, and it’s starting to get a little bit bigger. I’m thinking, thank god that’s still working! Sometimes when you get painful diarrhea anyway you lose all sense of sensation in the rest of your body!

So all of a sudden, I look at her, and she says, “well aren’t you going to warm me up again?” I said, “fuck no! Let’s just do it, I’m ready,” I’m still turned on. Meanwhile my stomach still hurts, my mouth is completely dry and I have an awful taste in my mouth from getting sick.

And you only do this in college – I put the condom on, I’m still somewhat hard, so I do the Popsicle stick method: where you take your dick between your fingers and you start jamming it in there? You figure that the warmth will get you nice and turned on.

So I jam my dick in there, I move once, and I cum! I’m thinking, man, this is crazy. I was in there for three seconds! She looks at me and says, “I thought you’d said you did this before?” I then learned the greatest excuse ever, which we use throughout our entire lives (some of us): I said, “well I’ve never been so turned on. Don’t worry about it. It will bounce back up in 15 minutes.”

Fifteen minutes later, it bounced back up – I’m rock hard now. This time it’s going to be good. So I put the condom on, and I get inside of her, and after five seconds, I fucking come again! I’m thinking, This is ridiculous! I couldn’t wait to get back in, and this is how it ends? I was so embarrassed; I couldn’t ever see her again.

That was the end of Cindy and I but she had a cute friend that I also like.

I should ask out this girl Maryanne, who was really cute. She was Cindy’s friend, and I asked her out. We had a date, and she cancelled at the last minute. Do you know why? Because my nickname was “one pump!”

So I transferred to American University because I could not stay there with the nickname “one pump.” That and I hated Northeastern.

But that’s how I lost my virginity. It sucked. The worst.

And my high school girlfriend, who didn’t want to sleep with me? When I came home after quitting Northeastern in March, I had like seven jobs that summer. One of them was a delivery guy for a pharmacy. My high school girlfriend decided it was time for us to sleep together, so we had sex like six or seven times a day.

So I made up for it! Every morning I would pick her up before high school. I had to drive my dad to the train station every morning by 7:35, and hustle from Mamaroneck all the way to the other side of the town to Scarsdale.

My girlfriend had first period free, and her dad would be pulling out of the driveway as I’d be pulling in – he wouldn’t see me. We would have sex, I’d drive her to school, and then I was the delivery guy. So whenever she had a free period, I’d pick her up and fuck her. So we’d have sex like three or four times already by 3:00. It was great.

She used to say to me, “god, do we have to do it this much?” And I’d say, “that’s what you do when you’re in love: you have sex all day.” The typical depth of a 18-year-old!

So by the time 3:00 rolled around, I’d smell of sex the whole day, sweaty – I was always sweating. I was stealing a box of condoms a day! This guy Dwayne and I would take everything we wanted – condoms, mints, other things. We would just take it out, throw it in the garbage, and pick it up on our delivery run.

I was the condom broker with all of my friends too. They all needed them, and nobody wanted to buy them, so I was always driving around in my Toyota – actually, I had my car by then so I didn’t have to drive my dad to the train anymore. I was driving around with boxes of fucking condoms – cases of them in the back of my Celica.

And that’s how I spent my summer..

So I made up for it. But virginity, man, that was the worst. God, I hated being a virgin. It was the absolute worst.

Todays question is how did you lose your virginity?

On a more serious note todays video talks all about expanding your social network and why it is the only way to meet more members of the opposite sex.