I received an email from a woman who wanted to know how to get a guy to chase her. Chase – interesting.

I hate chasing women. I always hated chasing women. I thought it was such a waste of time. I really did. Either a woman is interested or she isn’t.

Even in college, women wanted me to chase. I got bored really quickly.

Granted, I’d ask her out. We’d hang out. We’d have a good time. I’d call her back. She would call me back. We’d get together again. We wouldn’t sleep together for a little while. You know, I’ve got to earn it (or build the trust). Whatever.

That, to me, is the version of chasing that I enjoy. It’s like a tennis game. It’s a volley. I like you. You like me. I call you. You call me back.

What I don’t like, and I disagree with, is the whole “I call you and you don’t call me back for three days” thing. A lot of women thing that by playing hard to get, that a man is going to want them more.

In reality, though, the only kind of guy who likes a woman who plays hard to get is the one who only is interested in sleeping with you. It’s a conquest for him.

I know in my 20s — in my “hound dog” stage of my life — that I loved when women played hard to get and would ignore me. I really did. It was fun when they ignored me.

I’d run into them a month later and say, “Man, are we ever going to hook up and go out?” I would just play the game right along with them.

After a while, I found the game to be such a waste of time. There are so many great people out there who don’t want to play games.

I think the majority of people don’t want to play games. So if you want a guy to chase you — if you want to play games — then you’re really just wasting your time.

The best thing to do is hand a guy your phone number and say, “Give me a call.” If he doesn’t call you, then your reaction should be “next!’

The best thing to do when a guy calls you to go out on a date, is call him back within 24 hours. Call him once. Don’t call a guy six times.

Call each other once. If the other person doesn’t call you back, then move on.

Really, stop playing all the games. Games are boring.

If you want to play a game, go play softball or tennis. Games are such a waste of time.

What happens most of the time when women do this, however, is that men will stop chasing. The guys who don’t stop chasing are generally the guys who just want to sleep with these women so they can be the guy who wins the chase.

One of the biggest misconceptions women have about men, is that men like the chase and like women who play hard to get. The truth is, though, that the only guys who enjoy women who play hard to get are the guys who just want to “get” them so they can sleep with them.

Now when I talk about women playing at being emotionally unavailable, I am not suggesting that women ought to dump all their feelings on guys the second they meet (because this WILL cause men to run for the hills). So it’s actually true that men DO like the chase . . . but not in a way that women may understand.

The kind of chase we like is what I call “encouragement chase.” Let me give you an example of this when I go and meet a woman. Let’s say I’m dating a woman and I text her. When I do that, I want a text back from her within an hour or two, not two days later.

Two days later to me shows that she is playing games, and I am going to lose interest. It also shows that she is not worthy of me paying attention to her. That’s exactly what I’m thinking in that situation.  

For another example, let’s say I call a woman on the phone on Monday and leave her a message telling her I’ve got a great idea for something for us to do that weekend that I want to run by her, and she doesn’t return my call until Thursday. She’s basically telling me she’s not very interested.  Not only that, if when she calls back on Thursday she asks me what my weekend idea is, then it means that she is playing games. It also means that she is going to lose me.

If I’m going to go and invest my interest in a woman, I want her to reciprocate an equal interest in me. So taking my ‘great idea for the weekend’ phone call as an example, I want a woman who will call me back that night and say “Really? What is it?” Then I’m going to want to keep things moving along with her, because what I’m doing is laying out a game of cat and mouse — I want to see whether or not you’re going to take the bait, and whether you’re going to to run with it.

If you’re available to me when I ask you out, that’s wonderful.  Granted, if in the beginning you’re available to me 24/7 then I’m not going to be interested.

The encouragement chase I want is you being interested in what I’m presenting to you. If you are not expressing interest in what I’m presenting to you in an effort to make me chase you, I’m going to go and find somebody else every time.

So this whole concept of how guys feel about “the chase” is something that most women don’t understand. What you need to remember is very simple.

If a guy calls you, call him back. If a guy texts you, text him back. If a guy comes up with something interesting he wants to do with you, be excited about that.

With all of these, just think about the way that you feel when men do certain things. If a man makes you wait four days after a date to hear from him, you know he’s not interested in you (and that you are no longer interested in him).

Be a little more open to things and learn this little secret.  Remember, guys are just gigantic Scooby Doos (which I explain in complete detail in my programs). Give us the ball, we’ll chase after it.  Throw too far, we may not chase after it anymore.