Let’s go back to the game and rewind just a little bit. The Jets found a way to beat Tim Tebow. I think they had eight three in outs on the Broncos. The Broncos couldn’t move. Tebow couldn’t run.

Tebow throws like a girl, I’ve never seen passes like that in the NFL. All his passes seemed to go absolutely nowhere but down to the ground or towards the stands.
But at the end of the game, the Jets became just like most guys are when it comes down to dating. They went into what is called the Prevent defense. And all the Prevent defense ever does in football is prevent you from winning.

I’ve seen it 1,000s of times. A team plays great defense for 55 minutes of the game, they give up no touchdowns at all. Then all of a sudden the quarterback, who’s been having a horrible game, will drive the team down the field and win the game. Because the defense that worked for 55 minutes is abandoned. Then the team is losing, and stays in Prevent defense mode, which of course, prevents them from winning.

I never understood why coaches do that, and I never understood why guys go into the Prevent defense when trying to go out and meet women.
Instead of trusting a new game plan, instead of going into attack mode, instead of going out and meeting women all day long, all guys seem to do (especially on a Friday or Saturday night) is go into Prevent defense mode. They think that just because they’re out on the playing field on a Friday night, that things are magically going to happen for them. That they will stumble across a win, stumble across a beautiful woman.

So what do they do? They wait, they kick back, stand around the room looking at everyone in Prevent defense mode. They wait for the right opportunity. They never go and approach. They’re playing it safe. Sure, they may be preventing themselves from getting rejected, but while they’re doing that, every other guy is swooping in ahead of them and talking to the women that they want to talk to.

The only way to meet the kind of women you want is to come up with a definitive game plan, a game plan that’s going to work, a game plan that’s aggressive and moves you forward. You’ve got to ditch the game plan you’ve had up until now, the game plan where you’re playing it safe.

Here’s the deal, guys. The year is almost over. You’re heading into the home stretch of the year, you’re heading into the final six weeks of the year. Do you have a definitive game plan? Or are you a guy who curls up and goes into Prevent mode? Are you a guy who lets everybody else run around you, advance down the field, walk away with the women that you want and then you’re left at the end of the day, basically being an arm chair quarterback, thinking to yourself, How could I have made this different? How could I have changed the outcome?
There’s no way to change that outcome unless you change the way you think. Unless you go at it aggressively and come up with a game plan that’s going to breathe success. By going out and talking to people openly and passionately all day long, you’re going to start leading people and you’re not going to let people walk all over you when the weekend hits and it comes down to Friday-Saturday night crunch time.

For those of you who are serious about meeting women this holiday time, if you’re sick of being single over the holidays, I’ve come up with a whole game plan for you to check out.
RIGHT NOW is by far the best time of the year to meet women. Why? Women are emotionally drained, emotionally looking to connect, looking to share the holidays with someone. It’s holiday time. They’re in holiday mode, shopping, out having fun and enjoying themselves.

They’re connecting with old friends. They’re available. They’re not going to make up the fake boyfriend. I explain to you why, I talk about all of this and much more in my gameplan on how to meet women for the holidays.

Not only that, they want to end the year with a bang. The question is, are you going to be the one banging them? Or are you going to be the one standing on the sidelines wondering, waiting, hoping, basically standing in the corner of the bar going into Prevent defense mode over and over again?
Click here to check it out. It’s a must if you want to get down with new women this time of the year.

Yesterday we all went to Spitalfields Market, and everyone met so many cool women. For those of you who are in London, Spitalfields is a must. I ate so much great food again, I really stuffed myself. Then we sat to digest for a bit as I lead a really “heavy” discussion on dating!! Bo-bump-bump…pshhh!
You know that sound, that “bo-bump-bump” drum sound you hear at a bad comedy show? You know what “bo-bump-bump” is? That’s not just reserved for late-night talk shows, it’s also you when you become Punch-Line Guy.

Are you the guy that read somewhere on the Internet that women are really attracted to the funny guy? So now, in every conversation you have, you always want to make sure that you can show you’re funny, that you get the punch line out as quickly as possible? Basically you are punch line guy. You’re that guy who, within a minute of a conversation, whatever the topic, you have to end the conversation with this funny joke (well, at least that you think it’s funny).

Here’s the deal guys: That really takes both you and her out of a moment that could have been special. Punch-line guys tend to kill conversations because there’s not much to go on after you spew your cheesy punch-line. Especially if the punch line wasn’t that funny, maybe she’ll chuckle a little bit and then she’ll just realize the conversation is ending.
What most punch-line guys do is they just end the conversation with that mediocre punch line, they don’t keep it rolling. They take a perfectly good conversation and they feel like they have to spit the joke out somewhere to show her that they’re funny.

The reality is that you have plenty of chances to show her that you’re funny—at the right moments. But your problem is that you can’t risk waiting to be naturally funny, waiting to be funny at all the right moments. You have to do it now, you have to try to create the punch line moment because this is the ONLY moment to show her you’re worth getting to know.
I know what this is like because I used to be punch line guy. I was the class clown, I used to sit back and wait for my punch line in class. When I was first learning to talk to women, I’d always anticipate and wait for the punch line. I’d throw it out there and expect a big laugh but I never realized, when I was younger, that actually killed a lot of good conversations because I was killing the momentum.

All the punch line does is show that you’re not really listening and adding the conversation, it just shows that you want to be the center of attention, because that’s what punch line guy really is. He wants to be validated, he wants people to think he’s funny, and he wants to be the center of attention. So the next time you have your punch line guy moment, think to yourself, Is this really a proper moment for the punch line? Think about that. Will it keep the conversation flowing, or will it end the conversation like it has in the past?

So today check out this fun video I shot on how to overcome one word answers when you first meet a woman or a man.

And keep in mind when watching this video, all the people who were involved in the making of the video were a bit stiff at times.

Check out how I loosen them up.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/6yvgYaG7uMg” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

How To Overcome One Word Answers

Then all of a sudden, you get in your head. You think to yourself, This is too easy. This can’t be that easy. This woman can’t be attracted to me. If you’re a woman, you think, This guy can’t be THAT into me, the way he’s looking at me. This is way too easy.

Then you start going deeper into your head, circling through all the bad neighborhoods up there. You basically start talking yourself out of the great things that are happening right now. All of a sudden, the conversation changes, the energy changes in the conversation. The attitudes of the people around you change, the way they respond to you changes. And then, it’s over.

They look at you. You look at them. You say, “Hey, it was nice talking to you.” They say, “Yeah, it was.” And then—because you broke the moment—they leave. If you’re a guy, you usually hit yourself over the head at this moment because you got into your head. You say to yourself, I can’t believe I didn’t get her phone number! We were having such a great conversation until I jumped into my head and broke the moment. If you’re a woman, you think to yourself, I can’t believe it! Why didn’t I tell the guy I had a good time talking to him? Why didn’t I just give him my phone number?

Can You Kill The Moment?

When you break a moment because the interaction is going too smoothly, you’ve got what I call “broken moment” mentality. You just can’t believe it could be going down this easily. You can’t believe it’s not as hard as you always thought it was.

So the next time, if you’re a man who breaks moment, look at the woman you’re talking to, look at her during those awkward 30 seconds before you leave, and say, “I’ve got to confess something. I just broke the moment.” She’ll look at you and say, “What?” “I just broke the moment. I was having such a good time and all of a sudden I realized, ‘Man, I’d love to get together with you!’ And I got inside my head for a second, and I basically stopped the train of conversation we were having.” Then you smile. She’ll appreciate your honesty. She’ll appreciate that you’re being real.

If you’re a woman, say the same thing. Say, “This is the moment that I always hate. Is he going to ask me out or is he not asking me out–because I’d love to get together with you. Here, take down my number.”

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Try to be vulnerable when the moment is broken, because most people are so afraid of being real, most people think that the slick, great, Hollywood-movie version of themselves is the version they need to be at all times. But in reality, it’s not.

In reality, all you want to be is real.

David is out in Chicago today at his final Communication Seminar of the year! If you missed it but wanted to attend, don’t worry. There will be more coming next year, so stay tuned.

You know I always love giving you guys advice on how to handle going out on the weekends, making sure you have a good time, and being able to make sense of it all. The reason I can give you the insight is because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to go out on Friday and Saturday nights chasing women around, collecting phone numbers, not getting anywhere, and generally not having a very satisfying time by the end of the night.

But every once in a while, I still get swept up into the Saturday night fever myself. I still get sucked into the same traps, standing around in some bar, talking to some woman I just met over blaring music, not being able to hold any sort of real conversation, wondering, “Why the hell am I here?”

Last weekend, I took a trip out to Montreal with some good friends. We were five guys all together, no women in our group. All around, the weekend was terrific. Friday night? Amazing. We had a great meal and saw some cool live jazz in town. Saturday during the day? Had a great time walking around, meeting people, eating some great food, sitting out in the park, and checking out some of the sights.

How To Meet Women At Night

But then…by the time Saturday night rolled around, everybody started getting nightclub fever. It’ like as a single person you’re led to believe that on Saturday nights you’re supposed to go out to a bar or a nightclub. That’s just what you’re supposed to do. So we all met in the lobby, everybody wearing the same collared shirt, jeans, and black shoes combo. The infamous wolf pack. I wanted to kill myself before the night even started—way too many dudes in the same group. I’ve been in the situation many, many times before and I saw where it was headed: a whole lot of nowhere.

Now don’t get me wrong: I did end up meeting some cool people and generally having a good time, just because that’s my nature and I’ll have a good time wherever I go, but a couple of my buddies were so stressed out from the night. One guy kept wanting to go to a strip club. Another guy didn’t drink and didn’t want to hang around drinkers. Another kept texting his girlfriend every 15 minutes. Another hadn’t been laid in years and was totally unsuccessful in his attempts to chase down women. Everybody was in a different place in their heads and nobody was getting anywhere.

The fact is you don’t have to go out to a bar or club to meet single women. It’s not true at all. If you want to, great! I like a nice bar. I really do. But if you’re going out on the weekends, it’s frustrating you, and you keep repeating the same pattern over and over, you need to stop going to those places. You need to reevaluate what you’re doing and where you’re going. It’s time for some change. There are plenty of places you can go on a weekend night where you will meet a lot of other single people that don’t involve massive amounts of overpriced vodka, pumping techno music, and people standing around posing in their club gear. More to come on some fun alternative places for you to go on weekend nights in a future blog…

I say this ALL the time before we go out for the evening at our boot camps and seminars, and I’ll say it again: If you don’t actually like to go out at bars, don’t go out at bars to try to meet women. Don’t do it. Just like if you don’t like to read books, don’t hang around Barnes and Noble trying to meet women. If you don’t like basketball, don‘t get basketball season tickets to try to meet women at games. You get the picture…

Now get out there, have a great time this weekend, and enjoy one of our last weekends of summer!

This week has been really hectic, I’ve been on a lot of coaching calls with clients, and few calls with some of you blog readers from all over the world as well. Just a lot of guys I’ve talked to this week.

There’s one common thread that runs through almost everybody. And that fear is what’s commonly called APPROACH ANXIETY. The moment you see somebody who you’re attracted to, you make a determination that you’ll go talk to them. But then the fear kicks in. Well, now you’re stuck in a situation where you CAN go up and talk to them, you’ve got no excuse not to, but you’re afraid of what might happen. Actually, you have no idea what might happen, and that’s what makes it so scary.

It’s like you get this crazy sensation in your stomach, your mind starts racing thinking all sorts of ridiculous thoughts, thinking of any excuse in the book why you should not go up and start talking to this person or just say “Hi, how are you today?”

So how about this for an invention: Anti-Rejection Specs.

Just like those cardboard X-ray Specs you used to get in the old comic books, you could put on these magic Approach Sunglasses when you enter the bar, or browse the supermarket, or you’re at the gym, and just like an X-ray, the Anti-Rejection glasses would tell you exactly who is going to be interested in you and who isn’t. Wouldn’t that be great? You would know exactly who to approach. You would never ever get rejected again. Wouldn’t that solve all your problems putting yourself out there trying to make a connection and meeting women?

But the fact is glasses like that don’t exist. In fact, it’s actually quite a scary thought if they did. Men everywhere would be running rampant like the lock to the chimpanzee cage just got cracked.

So many guys have this fear of the unknown, fear of getting rejected, fear of putting themselves out there and getting shot down. So many guys think their entire manhood is on the line if they get blown out and the woman he wants to talk to decides she doesn’t want to talk to him. “What if I approach her and she doesn’t like me? What if I get rejected? She’s really cute and I don’t want to look like a fool.”

But guess what? You’ll never know unless you try. There’s no such thing as Anti-Rejection Sunglasses, and yes, every woman will not be interested in you all of the time. That’s life. But there are plenty of great single women out there who WILL be interested in you. It’s up to you to put yourself out there and find them.

You’ll never find out if she’s interested in you unless you drop the games, stop trying to act cool and standoffish, and just be open and receptive and introduce yourself without putting on a front.

I understand the games. The games are there for a reason. You tiptoe around, you pretend not to be interested in her, so that way if you find out that she’s not interested in you—well, you never had to put yourself out there now you don’t look foolish.

But that’s not going to get you the girl you want. To really grow, to radiate confidence, to be with the kind of woman you really desire, the fact is you have to make yourself vulnerable. You have to drop the games and the gimmicks. You have to go out and approach women even if you don’t know what the outcome is going to be. And yes, you have to experience rejection.

You’ll never know unless you try, and that’s the hardest part. But it’s also the best part. Because when you do approach, and you are successful, and you do get the digits, or the date, or the lay, or the girlfriend, or whatever, you’ll know that you had the guts to approach her just the way you are, without any silly games—and without any Anti-Rejection Specs telling you every time it was safe to approach.

Shogo here with another weekend blog!

For all you East Coast people, hope you’re keeping sheltered up for the vicious eye of the tiger that’s headed your way this weekend.

David and I are here in LA this morning getting ready for another amazing boot camp! I just went for a run on the beach, the weather is great out here this weekend, and I can already tell this weekend’s boot camp is going to be an amazing experience for everyone.

No to toot my own horn, but our events are always an amazing experience. Last month a very cool guy who came out to the New York seminar, whose name will remain anonymous, asked me how it is that I am able speak my mind in front of women with ease. He asked me how it’s possible that I can say whatever I’m thinking in the moment and not hesitate or be worried that I’m going to be offensive or sound like a pig.

This was a great question, and something that I want to share with all of you guys. It’s an important topic to address, especially if you’re out not just approaching women, but getting into real conversations, going out on dates, and talking to women in bars.

Shogo In Nightgame Mode

The thing that’s holding back a lot of guys from freeing up and speaking their mind is that they believe their own inner thoughts will be offensive to others. They think that if other people find out what they’re REALLY thinking, especially women, that they will be seen as a huge pervert. A sicko. An asshole who just wants to get in her pants.

So what happens is that guys get all nervous in front of women, afraid that the woman they’re talking to will find out about all those thoughts and all that chatter going off inside their brain, so they make something up. They come up with lines, they try to be funny, they pretend to be cool and disinterested, and then what happens is that they never let their true selves out.

But the fact is that you don’t have to be squeaky clean. If you really want to get good at this, you gotta let your true self out. You have to say what you’re thinking, no matter what ends up coming out of your mouth. You’re not an asshole or a freak, deep down inside you know you’re actually a really great guy, so start tapping into that part of you. You have to trust that part inside of you.

You have to be unapologetic for who you are. If you’ve never been able to get a girlfriend, or you can’t get past the second date, or you constantly get blown off at bars when you approach women, it isn’t because you’re deficient in something. It’s not because there’s some secret pickup information you don’t know. It’s because you’re covering yourself up. You have a hidden agenda when you’re talking to women that you’re interested in—sure she’s attractive, sure you’d like to have sex with her, sure you’d like to get to know her more—but that agenda really needs to come out into the open. And the rest will follow.

You will feel so much better talking to people.

What? Even if you’re actually busy? I can’t believe that. They are constantly threatening, but the funny thing about ultimatum girls — and they are always so dramatic — is that you originally tried to make plans with them in the beginning.

They just like to cause drama, so they basically ignored you, and then all of a sudden you go and make alternate plans, and then right when you are in the middle of your alternate plans, having a good time, trying to relax — because you are basically pretty pissed off that they blew you off all day long — all of a sudden, then they throw the ultimatum ball right at you:
“If you don’t leave right now…”
“Well, I really can’t go anywhere right now. I am out to dinner with my parents.”
“Leave your parents right now!”

They are ultimatum girls. They are all about drama. They get off on it. They really do. And, if you think about — when you are dating ultimatum girl, think about when the best sex is. The best sex with them is when they have given their ultimatum, they threaten you a little bit, they get in a little fight with you, and then all of a sudden they fuck you like a maniac because they love it. They love the drama. They get off on the drama.

Are You Dating A Drama Queen

Ultimatum girls cum a lot harder when they have drama. They really do. You want an ultimatum girl to be multi-orgasmic? You know what? Basically, when she ignores you, go out. Do the thing you wanted to do. She is going to send you an ultimatum, and then boom. The sex is going to be off the charts.

That is what ultimatum girl does. Ultimatum girl gets off on the whole thing and she knows it. But yet, usually, she is not that in touch with herself to know why she does this. She says she doesn’t like this dramatic behavior, but in reality, she does like it. It turns her on.

Because the average guy would bore her. She likes a guy that is a mind-fucking challenge to her. She likes to try to control a man, and then she finds a man that she can’t control, and then what she tries to do then is she tries to threaten him with ultimatums, but the problem is she usually runs into somebody who is very stubborn and she gets off on it. It’s a game.

Ultimatum girl isn’t looking for the bad boy. Ultimatum girl is basically looking for the guy that just doesn’t put up with her fucking shit.

Let me know if this sounds familiar:

It’s Friday, you decide to meet up with your regular group of guys and hit the bars tonight and see if you can meet some new women. You have a couple beers to pregame, maybe watch the game, maybe play some video games.

A few hours later, you’re out with your group of buddies, standing at the bar having a couple drinks. You’re all taking to each other, looking around the room to see if there are any women to talk to. After a while, you start getting a little bored. No cute girls at that bar, fine.

So you go to the next bar and have a couple more drinks. Damn, it’s wall-to-wall dudes at that bar. So you go to the next place and have a few more.

Before you know it it’s last call, you’ve scoured every bar on Main St., you’re out $80, and you’re drunk standing in line holding your dick in your hand waiting to get an overpriced slice of greasy pizza at 3am. You didn’t meet a single woman tonight. Or one of your friends actually got up the courage to go talk to a woman, while the whole group watched him do it and that was the mediocre highlight of the night. But basically nobody worthwhile crossed your path. The right opportunity just didn’t come your way.

How To Meet Women In Bars

So what went wrong?

Here’s the rundown: You can’t wait for the right opportunity to come to you. You have to create it. You guys were running around town, basically trying to chase a good time. You didn’t find that good time you were looking for at the first place, you got frustrated, so you went to the next place looking for a good time.

You guys are all trying so hard to have a good time, waiting for the right girls and that perfect situation to basically fall into your laps, but you didn’t really end up having that good of a time.

Why? It’s because you’ve got “desperate bar energy.” You can feel it, and the women around you who you’re trying to meet can feel it. You and your buddies are all out together trying to (a) meet new girls, and (b) have a good time and let loose. That’s great. But the problem is that nobody’s succeeding at either one of those so you all end up being really uptight. Nobody’s saying it, but everybody’s feeling it. So you go to the next bar trying to chase the Friday night good time you’re supposed to be having. And the next bar. And the next. That’s desperate bar energy.

The thing is that all those great women you’re trying to meet . . . they’re everywhere. There is no one bar or one place that’s better than the other. Every place is a great place. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: what you need to do focus on is having a good time first. If you go out and have an amazing time with your friends, whether it’s at a bar, a restaurant, a party, a coffee shop, wherever—the women will follow.

So go out with less friends. Don’t go out on a Friday with the hungry wolf pack of five dudes chasing the good time. You need to create the good time. Go in a mixed group: couple guys, couple girls. Go out with one cool friend who you really vibe with and who you know you can have a great time and great conversation with regardless of whether or not you meet women that night. Go out with a cool wing girl and go around talking to everybody together. Or befriend the bartender and go out by yourself, which is what I do all the time. Stand on your own two feet, go out a little bit earlier by yourself, and see where the night takes you.

Try it out this weekend, break your usual “desperate bar energy” habit, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you in the comments section today!

For those of you who had the Fourth off, did you really maximize the three-day weekend?

If you’re listening in another country and you don’t celebrate American Independence Day, did you have a great weekend as well?

We’re six months into the year now, the new year is long gone. New Year’s Resolutions—do you even remember those?

Now that 2011 is in full swing, I want you to really ask yourself if you are achieving the kind of results you want to achieve with women? Are you going on as many dates as you would like? Are you getting out of the house, are you meeting new people, are you making great connections with the kind of women you would like?

How To Pickup Women

If your answer to any of those is “no”, I want you to listen closely to today’s podcast. You need to kick yourself into gear. You need to get motivated. You need to take action immediately and stop wasting time. Summer is in full swing now, and there’s no reason for you to waste another minute of it.

So take in today’s podcast and use it to get started on changing the course of your dating life today! The year is half over guys. Six months from now, you don’t want to be the guy making the same New Year’s Resolutions all over again pickup, pua, pickup women.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!