The other day, I was walking down the street with Sonja. This guy came up to us and said, “Do you like poetry?” I looked at him and said, “No.”
I just didn’t feel like being hassled. Whenever I’m walking down the street, I’m walking down the street to get somewhere — maybe to get some food or to go to a shop. I might just be walking the dog, but I’m usually going somewhere.
I don’t like being harassed when I go somewhere. I hate being asked for money. I think it’s crazy.
I hate these guys who want to play music for you. I know they’re trying to hustle, but I’m just not in the mood to be hustled.
This brings me to my point for this blog, which both men and women need to understand.
Every man I’ve ever coached wants to know how to meet women on the street. They want to know, “How can I stop her when she’s walking? How can I stop her on the street and meet her?”
What I say to the guys who ask me this is always the same thing: How do you feel when people stop you on the street? It’s irritating.
Now, if someone tries to casually talk to me when I’m window shopping at a store, I might engage in conversation and I might not. To be stopped when I’m briskly walking down the street to get to a destination, however, is annoying.
It’s just like the man today who asked us if we like poetry. That was annoying.
To all the guys who are just so obsessed with meeting women on the street, why don’t you just stop a woman and say, “Excuse me, do you like to be picked up while you’re running down the street?” There are so many people to meet. Don’t bother people when they’re walking.
You can smile. You can say hello. If they respond, maybe a conversation could ensue. Otherwise, most of us are just going to a destination.
When we get to that destination we’re relaxed. We’re happy. We’re in a better place to probably communicate and talk.
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I have a great new app for iPhones. It’s perfect. It’s something you need to install and download right away on your own phone.
As a matter of fact, I am going to call Apple, and I’m going to get this thing done.
It’s an app that is called “Lower Your Standards Time!”
Picture it. It’s 1:00 am and you’re standing in a bar. You’re drunk. All of a sudden your phone starts going crazy — beeping and vibrating. You look at it, and it says “It’s Lower Your Standards Time!”
“Look, there’s a drunk girl leaning against the bar right now. She just made out with a random guy in the corner. It’s time for you to go over there and get her number. It’s time to lower your standards!”
It is hilarious what we do at 1:00 am. It’s almost like we’re one of Pavlov’s dogs.
It is 1:00 am and you haven’t been successful all night long, so you automatically lower your standards and go for whoever you can possibly get so you can validate yourself that night.
Why? You do it so you can tell your friends you got a phone number. You, however, never tell your friends that it’s the phone number of a woman who was drunk, vomiting at the bar and won’t even remember who you are when you call her.
So, really, I think you know where I’m going with this. Why ever lower your standards?
The only reason why you ever lower your standards is because you don’t have the balls to talk to women to whom you are attracted. You get all full of panic because your ego wants something.
Your ego desires to get a phone number. It validates you that you actually could do something — even if it’s something that totally lowers your standards.
So, you know what? I’m going to have you download this new “Lower Your Standards” app from Apple. That way you can always kid yourself and think that you’re more successful than you really are.
The other option is for you to get on the ball and really start to meet the women to whom you are most attracted. Which option seems better?
CLICK HERE to find out the one way to never again be stuck settling and lowering your standards — and to always CHOOSE the women you want to meet.
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Still off on my vacation, and I wanted to give all of you a little motivation to get out there this weekend and start talking!
Do you ever see a hot woman working in a store, and wonder how to make yourself stand out from the pack of guys she sees all day long?
Attracting hot women in a store is simple, if you know this one trick to how to talk to them.
Watch this live in-field video to see how this store clerk ended up asking these guys out.
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Do you know what I love? Man, I love doing a Bootcamp.
I love cramming all the guys into my car. Usually I have to drive around with Daphne or Sonja.
I also love when a guy at a Bootcamp comes up with a scenario he thinks is going to be a huge challenge for me. Nothing is a big challenge for me anymore, at least in the area of meeting women (and the emotions and concepts behind it).
It’s something that I’ve mastered, and it’s easy for me. I so enjoy now showing guys how it can be equally easy for them.
So it’s so great when I get challenged by one of the guys and am able to give them an easy solution. Then the biggest challenge is for that guy to actually go out and do what I say.
As you all know, being successful at meeting women is all about being in the moment, creating a moment and being real. So Adam, who came all the way from Australia to attend a Bootcamp here in L.A., had one of these “challenges” for me.
He said to me, “You know, I’m a workout guy. I go to the gym and I see women there, and it’s like they break my routine. It drives me bananas. There she is — on the treadmill, on the shoulder press. Here I am trying to make my body buff so all the women will think I’m a big guy and a stud.”
I told him I remembered that, because I was a big gym guy in my 20s too. I’d see that hottie and I just couldn’t concentrate any more. I’d be doing my sets, see her, and then I couldn’t concentrate at all because I’d be thinking to myself, “How can I continue to work out and get to know her?”
Well, once again, it’s all about the power of observation in this situation. How many times have you seen this woman before at the gym? What does she normally do for her workout? To whom have you seen her talking? Does she take any certain classes (like yoga)?
Ask yourself these questions. Once you know the answers, then you will have your approach.
Say you’ve seen that she uses the shoulder press every time she is at the gym, she likes to work her legs out hard, and you’ve seen her coming out of yoga class. Right there you have three different ways you can approach her.
You can walk over to her and say, “You know, I see you here all the time coming out of yoga class. How are the yoga classes here?” By saying this, you have opened up a line of communication.
You will then find out which nights she takes yoga, and then of course you will go and twist yourself into a pretzel on one of the nights she goes. You’ve already established a relationship – first contact.
Maybe you have noticed that she is aways hustling on the treadmill or the Stairmaster. So what do you do in that situation?
You get on the Stairmaster or treadmill next to her. She probably has her antisocial device (aka her iPod earphones) in her ears. So you point to them, and have her pull those out of her ears.
Then you look at her and say, “I’ll race you. Where do you want to go? You’ve already got a head start on me, so let me catch up.” Then you start running really fast to be a little comical. She will start cracking up, and you will start a conversation with her.
How do I know this? It’s funny, but I can hear you saying “Are you sure this is going to work?” I did this throughout my 20s, 30s and 40s.
Am I sure this is going to work? I am as sure as I know the sun will come out tomorrow (like Annie said in that play). I am as sure as I know I will have a morning hard-on. I am as sure as I know that I will be thirsty when I wake up. It will work.
Here is another thing you can do at the gym. Let’s say she is working out on the machines. You can look at her and say, “Man, you’re breaking a sweat. I don’t know if I can do that much weight.” You just be funny.
Then you ask if you can work in with her. When you get on the machine, you squeeze really hard pretending to be having a hard time with her weight and say, “One . . . that’s all I can do. You’re buff.” Have a good time with her and you will get her laughing and talking.
CLICK HERE to find out the EASY way I approach women at some of the other places you go to every day.
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Here is something that I want every guy in the world to remember, and it’s something really important. Once you get this, it is something that will help you to grow immensely.
Here is what I want you to remember: Every woman is wired the exact same way. I don’t care if she is tall, short, fat, skinny, yellow, green, purple, orange or blue. It doesn’t make a difference. Every woman is wired the exact same way.
It is how you look at their mask that determines how most guys talk to them. When you walk up to a woman to whom you are not attracted, she is not thinking “This is guy is talking to me because he is not attracted to me.” What she is thinking is, “I’m a cool girl. This guy is talking to me because I’m a hot and sexy.”
Ask any single woman to set you up with one of her friends, and do you know what she’ll say to you? She will say something like, “I’m going to hook you up with my friend Mary. She’s so cute, it’s unbelievable.” Then you go and pick Mary up for the date, and Mary is not cute at all. When you tell the woman who set you up that you didn’t think Mary was cute at all, she will disagree and say that she is very cute.
Every woman thinks that all of her friends are beautiful. That is because every woman is beautiful.
For every woman out there that you don’t find attractive, there are a ton of guys who will think she’s very attractive. There are a ton of guys out there who will think that woman is hot.
So many guys can walk up to a woman they find unattractive and talk to them with no problem. If those same guys walk up to a woman they find attractive, though, they talk to her like she’s an alien.
Those two women are wired the exact same way. If you can talk to a woman to whom you are not attracted, then you can talk to a woman you think is hot.
Attractive women and unattractive women are are all attractive women to someone. You might look at my girlfriend and not think she is pretty at all. I don’t really care, because I know what I think about her.
So when you approach a woman, you need to remember that if you can talk to any woman then you can talk to all women. I tell guys all the time to go out and flirt with 80 year old women.
Find the ones who are wearing makeup, because they are the ones who still see themselves as the beautiful 20 year old girl they once were. If you can talk to them and be charming, they will smile and laugh with you.
They are no different than the 25 year old woman you want to approach. They’re all the same. That is something that took me a long time to realize. Women are all exactly the same. So if you can talk to one, you can to them all.
If I put masks on every woman out there so that all you could see was long hair, you would never “choke” when you tried to talk to any of them. You’d be able to talk to each and every one of them.
It is only when I took off their masks that you would realize to which ones you are attracted and you would start freaking out. Think about in that hypothetical how silly it is that you freak out when you see a woman you find attractive. You can talk to any woman right now, so go out there and do it!
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So you walk up to a woman and you start talking to her. It could be about anything. It could be about something really simple.
Say you are looking at a sushi bar and you say to her, “Man, there’s a lot of different colors here” and she ignores you. What do you do next?
A lot of guys run. They play the “oops I spoke and you didn’t respond right away so I’m going to run and hide” game. The guys who run in this situation do so without realizing a lot of things.
They do so without realizing that the person they talked to might be shy. In fact, that person might even be shyer than you.
You might have taken her off guard, and she wasn’t ready for a conversation. She might have been thinking about something else. You have no idea because you are not inside her head.
So let’s go back to the sushi scenario. In that situation, here is how I would handle it.
If when I say the observation about the colors the woman looks taken aback, then I would say to her, “What are you getting? What’s good here?” I would give her the opportunity to respond.
Think about yourself and how many times you are out somewhere — at the market, a coffee house, a clothing store or wherever — and you are trapped in your own thoughts. You might be thinking about your day, about work, about what you have to do when you get home or even about your underwear. Who knows?
Just think about how many times you are stuck in your own thought process. So, with that in mind, give someone another shot to respond to you before you bail in these situations thinking someone blew you off.
You may not be getting blown off at all. You might have just caught her stuck in her own thoughts and shocked her for a moment.
That is all it takes. Give it another whirl. If she still ignores you, then maybe she isn’t interested.
If that is the case, then you move on and say “no chemistry” to yourself. Then you think, “They weren’t interested. Who cares? Next!”
Listen to LIVE interviews with some of the hottest women in L.A. as they confess to me what they secretly want and desire from men, and what really works (and turns them on). CLICK HERE to check it out.
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It is your energy that dictates how someone feels around you, and how someone feels about you.
Have you ever walked up to someone and you’re just so nervous? You are so nervous that you are squeezing your ass together like you are holding in your own shit?
So when you do walk over so scared like that and say what you think is the right thing, what happens? You are going to scare off the person you are approaching.
You could say something to a woman as simple as “Nice dog!” If you are nervous when you say it, though, you are going to make that woman (and her dog) nervous.
People’s reactions to you are all about you. They are all about your body language. They are all about your attitude, your energy and what you convey.
The next time you are about to walk up to someone, ask yourself this question: Am I relaxed? If you are not relaxed, then hold off on walking up to them. Breathe deeply. Take a minute to calm yourself down.
Don’t go up to that person until you have calmed down your energy. Otherwise, when people run away from you, it will be because you walked up to them looking like you are holding in your own shit and it scared the shit out of them.
Hear women tell all about what they want when they are approached, and how they perceive what guys do. Also, hear them confess what turns them OFF most — mistakes so many guys make. CLICK HERE to listen to what they reveal that all guys need to know.
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