I woke up this morning to a great email from a past bootcamp client. As part of my Monday routine I have to clear out a ton of emails from the weekend and then once I do that, I can actually read what is important.
I read this message and right away I knew it was today’s post. (more…)
I have a story I want to share with you, which does an excellent job of illustrating a communication problem from which so many men suffer. One of the main things I teach guys is how to communicate. I really don’t understand why so many guys continue not to communicate.
When you really learn how to communicate, you can read someone’s energy. Keep this in mind as I relay this story about something that happened the other day to my girlfriend.
So the other night my girlfriend went to pick up dinner from a little health food place. She was sitting outside, relaxing while she waited for her order to be ready when “he” appeared. “He” is the guy I don’t ever want any of you guys to be.
Just so there’s no misunderstanding, this has nothing to do with this guy hitting on my girlfriend. I couldn’t care less about that, because whenever guys do she always comes home and tells me all about it (so that I can see if all you guys are paying attention to what I teach).
Here’s my message to all you guys: Wake up! It’s all about reading energy when it comes to communicating with women. Let me tell you more of the story to show you what I mean.
So this guy walked over to my girlfriend while she was waiting for her dinner takeout to be ready. First he lingered by the menu. Okay, no problem here yet. Then he opened her with an observation “Hows the food here.” That’s fine too. He’s doing alright so far.
What he didn’t pay attention to, though, was that she responded to his observation with a one word answer and she didn’t give him any positive body language. She even got up and went back inside the restaurant to check and see if her food was ready yet. He stayed outside because all he was thinking about was how he could ask her out on a date.
He didn’t pay attention to anything that was going on in that interaction. First of all, she was not answering his questions. When a woman gives you one word answers to your questions, she is not interested. You don’t keep re-engaging her, because all that you achieve by doing that is to become annoying. He in fact did become annoying, which is why she went inside to wait for her food.
As she comes out with her food ready to leave, he was still out there staring at the menu. What he was really doing is so obvious here. She knew exactly why he was still standing out there. He wasn’t really looking at the menu at all and he wasn’t there to actually buy any food. He was still standing there solely because he was waiting for her to come back out of the restaurant.
What he was really doing was waiting for someone to come out of that restaurant who wasn’t interested in him. He did this because men are objective minded, i.e., he had one objective in his mind that he focused on without listening or paying attention to what was going on around him. By being solely objective minded, he becomes the annoying guy women have to avoid when they are leaving a restaurant with their takeout dinner.
So what happened next? When she exited the restaurant with her dinner in hand, he comes up with another pickup line and uses it on her. He says “You know, you look really familiar to me.” What does he figure? If at first you don’t succeed, try try again?
Guys, you need to read a woman’s energy. This is something I’ve talked about over and over again. Read her energy. If it didn’t work the first time, it certainly isn’t going to work with an even worse pickup line.
So in response to this guy’s “You know, you look really familiar to me” line, she says “Well, maybe.” Then they started talking a little bit. Then he says “I’ve seen you in yoga class. I teach yoga. My name is Fish Kadabubababadabuba.” It’s so funny, by the way, how when guys named Bill and Tom become yoga teachers they always seem to change their name to things like Odawanda Dickawanda Masatuba (and become “scary yoga guy”).
After he makes his introduction, she said “Okay, well it was nice meeting you. I’ve got to go.” So what does he do? After having no conversation with her and totally failing to read her energy, he decides to act like a typical guy and ask her out (all because he had thrown out two pickup lines at her).
He looks at her and says “Why don’t we get together and go out for some soy mocha lattes.” At that point she said, laughing really hard, “Okay, I’ve really got to go. I’m in a relationship.” He responded to that by saying “Well maybe we’ll see each other in the universe sometime.”
Guys, you really need to read women’s energy. Stop being so obsessed by the way a woman looks, and stop trying to claim her. Women will tell you if you they are interested by not running away like she did in this story.
If a woman’s body language is not facing you or if they are giving you one word answers, they are not doing it to encourage you to work harder. If a woman is interested, they will talk to you.
Believe me, if my girlfriend was interested in that guy she would have talked to him. She would have asked him what he was having for dinner. She knew he was lingering there. She knew he wasn’t going to eat there.
It is time you guys really started paying attention to women. Stop thinking about what to say all the time. Stop trying to pick them up and start reading their energy.
So what was my solution to this situation with my girlfriend? I put 1,000 of my business cards in her car. So, the next time a guy named Fish Kadabubababadabuba comes over, she can pass along the my business card and he can start reading the blog and realizing what he has been doing wrong the whole time.
And if he is really serious about meeting women he would buy my mens mastery series.
Hint hint to all of you that think you are going to learn this without investing in yourself.
It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.
I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”
The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi? (more…)
Back from London and enjoying every second of the Jet Lag!!!!
The following is a conversation we had at a recent bootcamp about bullying yourself. This will give you some sort of an idea of what we do during bootcamps.
David: Are you a bully?
Do you enjoy constantly teasing people? Do you like to sit there and push people through the cootie door?
You remember the cootie door from grade school – you picked a door and if someone walked through it, they had cooties for the whole day.
Do you remember cootie shots? The only form of immunization…
But the question remains: are you a bully?
Most of us adults are no longer bullies to other people. We stopped being bullies to others a long time ago, except many of us are still bullies with one specific person. And I’m not talking about your younger sibling.
Many of us are bullies to ourselves. We are own worst enemies.
Do you tend to look only at the negative things about yourself and are you constantly making fun of yourself cruelly and making excuses? You’re being a bully.
I bully myself about my chicken legs, and I constantly use them as an excuse: “man, I don’t want to put those pants on, they’ll make my legs look too skinny. I’m not wearing those.”
We are always our own worst enemies. We love to make fun of ourselves.
You’re sitting here laughing, what are some ways that you bully yourself?
Client: Well, I take myself way too seriously. In my line of work, it’s important to anticipate what people are going to say, so I always expect big things out of myself when I’m in a conversation with a woman.
I’m never listening to what the other person is saying, but more trying to out-do that person. Then I wind up not listening to them at all, and they lose interest. That’s what I bully myself about.
David: Rey, how do you bully yourself?
Rey: I bully myself about everything! “You’re not good enough, you’re not being loud enough, you’re not being interesting enough, you don’t have your personality out,” everything like that. “You’re not letting yourself out, you’re too stiff!”
David: And by doing that, Rey, you don’t ever let yourself out because you’re constantly thinking about it.
Every time you approach a woman, you’ve got that mindset, and then of course, you become that.
What about you?
Daniel: I guess I bully myself when I don’t meet the expectations I have for myself.
David: Like how?
Daniel: I bully myself with the typical monkey chatter: “I’m not going to be able to escalate intimacy in a conversation!” I’m also always thinking about the end result and having that fear of what to say next or how to transition to the next topic.
David: It’s interesting. You think so much that your monkey chatter is saying, “you can’t escalate, Daniel, you can’t escalate,” and then, because you worried so much about it, you can’t.
The only escalating we should think about is the escalators we ride on in the stores. Women will get sexually turned on to you by you being charming, real and in the moment. She’ll start to connect with you.
‘Sexual escalation’ is a term that men think they need to be so aware of, but in reality, it will just happen naturally if you’re strong, powerful, and you don’t think. The real sexy side of you is the side that isn’t thinking about everything. It’s the side of you that just lives and responds to things in life. The side of you that goes with the moment, and goes with the flow.
Our bully is unbelievable. We love to bully ourselves constantly. We are constantly ripping ourselves apart. We’re trying so hard to be perfect and say the ‘right thing.’
In reality, nothing in life is perfect. Your imperfections are the things you need to embrace and learn to love. If you don’t embrace and love your own imperfections, nobody else ever will.
I’m an OCDer. I’m looking to buy a house right now, which you all know, and I am having so much trouble. I just cannot pull the plug. I bully myself in so many different decisions that I can’t even think of, yet everything else I do in life is very simple and easy.
We all have our things that we need to work on. You need to embrace those imperfections, make fun of yourself and have fun with it.
We did that exercise last night where we made fun of ourselves and it was a blast. We all made fun of our dumb little faults.
You got dressed up in clothes you thought looked great, and then you made fun of yourself for being some big metrosexual.
But in reality, you look like a guy that is nicely dressed and that women would notice. You’re thinking, oh man, I can’t pull this off, I can’t look sexy – but you do.
That’s how we stop bullying ourselves.
Todays video is perfect for the weekend.
You really need to think about this for a few minutes: when you get a brand new gas grill and you’re going to put it together, do you read the directions or do you just figure it out?
When you go and buy a brand new big screen TV, do you just figure out what plugs into what or do you do it by the book?
When you go and get a brand new car, do you ever crack open the owner’s manual? (more…)
Its Saturday and we are having a great bootcamp. One guy already had this amazing breakthrough, he was so shy when he flew here yesterday and last night he was able to approach any woman he saw.
Its awesome when I see someone transform and really break through their fears.
Today’s blog is something we go over in all the bootcamps.
Also check out the bootcamp schedule on the home page. Only 3 more left this year!
I’m all about creating positive energy wherever I go, because to me, life is a party. If you’re not going to go out there and enjoy every single moment of every single day, then you are just wasting your time. (more…)
