You know what she’s thinking?  She’s wondering, “Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he stare at me?  Why is he constantly looking at me but never saying a word?  Is he mute? Is he terrified?  Does he speak Russian and not speak a word of English?”

Here’s what funny: every morning I wake up and I walk for a few miles and I see the same woman every single day.  I look at her, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I don’t.  

So today, I looked at her and said hello, and she looks at me—eyes light up, face lights up—and she says “Hi,” like it was a relief that I finally talked to her.  I mean, come on guys, stop trying to always think about what to say and just say, “Good morning. Hello.”

If you see somebody over and over again the best conversation starter is not the most clever thing you can think of, it’s just a simple “Hey, Hi, Good morning, I’m a normal human being.  I know how to say good morning. It’s one of the first things I learned when I watched Sesame Street when I was a kid.”

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Make it simple. And if you make it simple, you’ll start building up your confidence and your social network.  “Good morning” leads to “Hey, how are you doing today?” or “I see you all the time walking.” It leads to a conversation the next time.

So stop appearing to be this neurotic freak that scares her because you never talk to her and just stare at her, and start being the human being.

It’s that simple.

So when we walked into Sears, I told him to watch and learn just how playful you can really be.

So when I walked into Sears, Passion Optical, ready for my glasses to be done with repairs. I walked in, and this woman behind the counter says to me, she goes, “Are you here for a pick-up?”

I said “Absolutely, I’m here for a pick-up.” She goes, “What’s your name?”

“No, I’m here to pick you up,” I replied.

Then all of a sudden she realizes what’s going on. Little did she know the ulterior motives I had with my client watching but when I said so, she came crawling back, talked with me even more, and was cracking up the entire time.

Think about all the times you go and you pick up something at a business.

How To Meet Women At Sears

In a restaurant, you walk in and they go, “What are you here for?” “I’m here for a pick-up.” And they go, “What’s your name?” “No-no-no-no, no. I’m here to pick you up. I didn’t order any food. You asked me if I was here for a pick-up. Absolutely, I told you, I am here for a pick-up.”

Think about how much more fun you have and think about how creative that is. It’s about being goofy, having fun, and really just admitting why you’re even there in the first place.

So the next time you go to a restaurant and they ask you if you’re here for what you’re here for, just tell her you’re here for a pick-up, and then they’ll wonder what name. Just don’t fumble it, and get your own name wrong!

We have a lot of international followers and readers of the blog. We always get a ton of emails every day, and last week alone the emails we got from you guys came anywhere from the US to Sweden to Zimbabwe to Indonesia. They were great!

But a lot of your questions are cultural. A lot of you guys think that what “works” for us won’t work for you where you are because you live in a smaller town, or you’re Muslim, or you’re in Asia, or you’re European and Europeans don’t like being approached by strangers, or whatever the excuse is.

This week’s blog is coming to you live from Lebanon, where I’m coaching a client and we’re enjoying the incredible Beirut nightlife. Originally we had planned on a coaching weekend in NYC, but my client wasn’t sure if what I was going to teach him in the USA would “work” when he returned home. So I went to stay with him in Lebanon to show him exactly how having the right attitude and the right outlook on going out will “work” for him wherever he goes.

Here’s the deal guys: I’ve lived and traveled all over the world. I’ve dated people from all over the world, of different colors, different religions, different traditions. I’ve been in amazing relationships with women who, on the outside, were very different from me. And one of my greatest lessons has been that, at the core, we really are all the same. We all react to the same things. We all respond to the same attractive, confident attitude in the opposite sex. That’s what I teach and that’s why I get great results for my clients, wherever they are located.

So my lesson for you is that when you’re going out this weekend, whatever it is that you do, it WILL work if you trust yourself, you have the right attitude, and you have the right mindset. Remember my message last week about just cultivating good energy, having fun, and just being friendly? That goes for everyone, and I don’t care where on this earth you are located. A bar is a bar is a bar, whether you are in Toronto, Rome, Sydney, or Bangkok.

Now I’m sure that there are pickup-lines, and jokes, and cheesy routines that work in a bar in LA that won’t work in a bar in Tokyo. And vice versa. Bu forget about all of that because what you need to focus on is not WHAT to do when you go out, it’s HOW you do it.

This is something that a lot of men do wrong all the time. Men love to think there’s some magic formula, and some guys have it, while others don’t. They think there’s four magic words they can say when they go out at night that will turn them in to Mr. Charisma.

The fact is there is no perfect thing to say in every situation. There never has been and there never will be. There is no magic bible that will walk you through and guarantee success in your social life. There is no Lonely Planet “Guide to Meeting Amazing People” for every country.

I travel a lot and I really don’t need to waste my time coming up with the right thing to say based on cultural differences. I don’t need to act like a different person, or treat people any differently, simply because right now I’m in Lebanon.

Men Checking Out Women At Starbucks In Lebanon

The secret is for you to be “the same you” wherever you go, and whatever you do. The secret is to not let a change in your environment create a change in the way you walk through life. Don’t change how you act simply because you stepped foot into a bar or lounge. Wherever I go, I act exactly the same (save for some basic local etiquette rules).

Every cultural barrier that you believe exists, every invisible barrier that’s preventing you from having an amazing dating life and meeting people of the opposite sex, it’s only there because YOU put it there.

If you believe that women and men in bars in Germany are unfriendly and not willing to talk to strangers, guess what? They will be. If you are living in China and you think that women only want a tall foreigner but you happen to be a short foreigner, then to you, women will only want a tall foreigner. If you’re in the Middle East like me right now and you think that a Middle Eastern woman will run away from you for thinking sexual thoughts, then she will run. And she will run far.

We are people. Every person, man and woman, black and white, thinks sexual thoughts. And when we as people go out at night, we all want to meet someone friendly and unique, who is interested in us, and who knows how to have a good time.

Happy Sunday!

Still off on my vacation, and I wanted to give all of you a little motivation to get out there this weekend and start talking!

Do you ever see a hot woman working in a store, and wonder how to make yourself stand out from the pack of guys she sees all day long?

Attracting hot women in a store is simple, if you know this one trick to how to talk to them.

Watch this live in-field video to see how this store clerk ended up asking these guys out.

JUST 2 DAYS LEFT! I am offering something AWESOME just for my readers. On March 31st, I’ll be re-launching my “Become A Master Communicator” program on my site at its regular price. For the next 2 days, though, you can grab this product at the special introductory price (Come March 31st, you’ll NEVER see this price on this product again!). Also, anyone who grabs this product in the next 2 days, gets a slot on my upcoming “How To Succeed As A Master Communicator” Teleconference where I’ll be answering YOUR questions live on the call! CLICK HERE to grab your copy now!

In the NFC, I am going to stick with my preseason prediction that the Saints will make it to the Super Bowl. The score? Saints 34, Vikings 24.

Sorry Favre, but the team you should have stuck with will actually be playing the Saints in the Super Bowl. How ironic is that?

So what I am about to say next probably isn’t too much of a mystery. The Jets will win in a last second field goal, and edge out the Colts 23-20.

How did they get into field goal range? Sanchez hits Edwards for 27 yards and Edwards actually holds on to the ball.

Now let’s move onto to some talk of interaction with some other famous people…

It’s funny. I was just in Whole Foods filming a little undercover video for my Community Site members. If you don’t know about my Community Site, you can find out more HERE.

In this undercover video, Will was basically going around the store talking to people and then I would critique it. It has actually been really fun to do these undercover videos with Will.

Me critiquing him has really helped him grow socially, and I enjoy doing it. Picture Peyton Manning breaking down the “x’s and o’s” of your game or Bill Belichick designing your defense (well maybe not this year).

Anyway, while we were on this undercover shoot, we ended up in line next to actress Michelle Rodriguez (from the tv show Lost and the movie Avatar). When I asked Will if he wanted to talk to her, he said “Why not? She is a person. I can open her and talk to her just like I would anyone else.”

So he did just that. She wasn’t really all that friendly, just like some “non-famous” people are just not that friendly. She did, however, acknowledge him and talk to him a little bit and even gave him a little half-ass smile.

It’s funny. So many people are infatuated and/or intimidated by people they want to meet — whether those people are celebrities or business people. It reminds me of something that happened back in 1997 when I was living in San Diego.

I saw Tony Robbins sitting in a cafe. Everyone in the cafe was staring at him.

I called up a guy I knew, told him about Tony Robbins was there and asked him what I should do. He immediately said, “Go talk to him. When else are you going to have an opportunity to talk to Tony Robbins? Remember, everyone likes talking about themselves. Just sit down and just tell him that you are in the same business and are really curious about how he got started.”

So, I did exactly that. I talked to Tony Robbins for 45 minutes. I had a great conversation with him, and learned a lot about how he got started in his business. By the end of the conversation, I realized that Tony Robbins and I were no different.

Celebrities are only celebrities because we put them in that “celebrity box” in our own minds. They are just regular folks who happen to be acting, running a corporation or playing a professional sport.

The bottom line is that everyone likes talking about themselves. So say you see a celebrity and say “Hi, how is your day going?” They are going to answer you.

At that moment you may feel like saying, “God, I saw you in that movie and it was phenomenal! Was that your favorite role you’ve ever played?” You should say it!

When you do, that person is immediately going to start talking. I’ve done it before.

You have to realize that the universe put you there — in that place and time — for a reason. As I talk about all the time in the blog, you can learn so much from strangers. So why not approach people and talk to them?

You never know. Some of you might actually end up dating a celebrity. We might end up reading about you in US Magazine.

Others of you might run into Donald Trump and start working for him. Who knows?

It’s all networking and growing your network. Just because someone is a celebrity, doesn’t mean they can’t be in your network and doesn’t mean you can’t join theirs.

So now, check out this video to see if Will is going to end up dating celebrity Michelle Rodriguez:

Also, if you want to check out more of my “undercover in-field videos,” click HERE.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

Then Jeff started telling me about a woman who works as one of the “meet and greeters” at Wells Fargo (the people who welcome you when you walk in the door). Jeff spent some time talking to her, but he wondered how he can ask this woman out without being noticed by everyone at the bank.

I’m sure this is a scenario to which many guys reading this blog can relate. How do you stay “under the radar” in front of a lot of people? Wrong question!

You have to adopt the mindset that everyone around you couldn’t care less about you or what you’re doing. So, really, it doesn’t matter what other people will say or think even if you get rejected in front of them.

Even if you ask someone out and they reject you in front of a room full of people, no one is going to go home and say, “Oh man, you wouldn’t believe what happened today. I was in Wells Fargo today, and there was this guy who asked out the “meet and greet” girl and got turned down.”

That just isn’t going to happen. People simply aren’t paying that much attention to you.

So you’ve got to put that out of your head. You’ve got to get that mindset out of your head completely, because that mindset is just an excuse that allows you to not go over and ask someone out. It’s just a different form of an excuse.

So once you’ve identified that you have no excuse for not asking this person out, how do you do it in this setting? It all comes down to what you know about her.

Have you talked to her a few times? Do you know what she likes and what she likes to do for fun?

If not, then you need to find out all these things. Then next time you see her, you can say something like, “Hey, did you get a chance to see that movie you were talking about the other day?”

If she says she never got a chance to see it, then it’s very easy from there. You can say something like, “You know what? Why don’t you and I catch that flick next weekend. Let me take you. That way you don’t have any excuses not to go see the movie.”

That’s how you do it. This is how you always ask out people like this (I call them “common area people”). You always ask them out based on things you already know about them. You already have a rapport with them, so they are a warm (and not a cold) lead.

So this skill of getting to know things about people before you ask them out is important. The mindset component and getting rid of this excuse, however, is what you need to get first.

Your state of mind is everything when you go out to meet women. Everything.

If you go out to a bar with some friends after your boss has ridden you all day long and made you feel insignificant, then that is precisely what your state of mind is going to be at the bar. Then your night will really be about cleansing, vomiting and regurgitating the anger and all the feelings you have built up that day.

Say you are going out to the market first thing in the morning. You had a bad night the night before, you are not feeling well and you are in a bad mood. Your state of mind will be exactly that.

Your intent may be to go out and meet women at the market. Your intent may be to go to that bar, flirt and meet women.

If your state of mind is not positive and feeling good about yourself, though, then it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. You will never accomplish anything if your state of mind is not in line with your intent.

It’s amazing how much frustration people have and feel about meeting people due to other sources and stimuli in their life. A little trick I tell people all the time to help with this, is to put a picture on the home screen of your iPhone or BlackBerry of something that makes you feel incredibly wonderful.

It could be a picture of your dog. It could be a picture of the first girl you ever kissed. It could be a picture of the mountain you just climbed last weekend. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Whatever image you choose, look at it whenever you feel funky or nervous before you approach someone. Look at it so you have a smile on your face and feel joy.

That is just one thing you can do. There are so many things you can do to create an amazing, peaceful and joyous state of mind. Whatever way you use to get there, without your own version of the New York state of mind, it doesn’t matter what technique you use to meet people. They will never work.

It’s the day after Christmas,
and all through the mall,
everyone is stirring
because everything is half off…

It’s a great time to buy next year’s decorations, because everything is half off. You can store them in the attic where you won’t be able to find them next year.

Today really is a great day to go out there and meet people.

There is one thing you can say to everyone today. Isn’t that what people are looking for – the one thing you can say to everyone that will work every time? Well, today is the only day of the year you can use this.

So here is your “magic line” of the day. Make sure you say this with a smile. Now you know how I feel about using “lines” when you talk to people, so I’ll call this a “magic opener” (or a “magic conversation starter” would be even better).

So whenever you see anyone today, you can say “Did Santa get you everything you wanted, or do you need to rely on the American Express card today?”

That’s it. That’s all you need to say.

Everyone can use this, and you can say it to everyone — men, women, children, dogs, cats, hedgehogs, cartoon characters, muppets. It’s by far the best thing you can say to people today.

It’s a great conversation starter. It’s your “day after Christmas conversation starter” that allows you to talk to people everywhere.

Say it with a smile, have fun and enjoy the day. I’ll meet you at the mall.

The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.

What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.

You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.

Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.

Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.

So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.

Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.

When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.

So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.

You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.

Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.

It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.

If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.