Do you want to be that guy who walks into a room and women are instantly mesmerized by him? How does that happen? Well, it’s actually very easy!
The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.
What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.
You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.
Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.
Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.
So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.
Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.
You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.
Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.
When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.
So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.
You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.
Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.
It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.
If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.
I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.
Do you know what “the magic of a story” is? The magic of the story is remembering that while you might be telling a story for the hundredth time, the woman you’re talking to is hearing it for the very first time . . . and being able to tell it like you’re telling it for the first time.
Recently while I was with some clients, I told a woman a story I’ve told probably at least a thousand times (that’s why the story is so good!). The clients who were with me were shocked when they found this out, and said it seemed like I was telling the story for the first time.
I have such enthusiasm for my stories because I like them. I also know how people will react to them because I’ve told them before.
So how do you tell a great story; how do you tell a story like you’re telling it for the first time? Well, you have to start somewhere in order to learn how to do it.
Pick five or six things that come up over and over again in conversations, and then think of stories that relate to those things. It doesn’t matter what they are about, so long as you enjoy telling them and can do so with passion.
Practice your stories, so they are natural and easy for you to tell. I would suggest that you record all your stories, and then listen to yourself tell them.
As you listen, ask yourself whether you are interesting enough as you tell each story. If you are not, then go back and record them again. Keep listening to those stories over and over again, because those are the stories that are going to come out when you meet people.
Those amazing stories will be what attract women when you talk to them. They love to hear them.
A man who can tell a great story is very intriguing to women. It will show you as a man who is passionate about who he is. A woman will think that if you’re that passionate about yourself and your life, then you will be equally as passionate about her if you start hanging out together.
If you’re passionate about everything that you do – even down to little things like sniffing fruit passionately at the farmer’s market — then women are going to realize how passionate you are about all sorts of things. It’s about living with passion, and it all starts with your stories!
I have been painted as one of the “pickup guys.” You hear things about men in general all the time. Men are always on the prowl looking for women. Men cheat on women. Men are only looking for sex. It’s funny how many stereotypes there are out there.
As all of you know and as you all can see, we’ve started to really change some of the focus here on the site. Not only are we trying to teach men how to meet women (and teaching them how to meet women in an authentic way), but we are teaching men how to have great relationships. We are teaching men how to connect with women more deeply when they start dating them. We are teaching men how to really please women sexually.
Women need to know that there are men who want to get married as much as women do, otherwise there wouldn’t be marriages. It’s funny how many women think men are “just after one thing,” when in reality so many men are after the same things women are: love, companionship and friendship. It’s just that men have been painted a different way.
So many of the stereotypes that are out there are just ridiculous. A lot of men think that women are just after them for their money . . . even the men who don’t have any money think women are after them just for their money.
I think it’s time we really stopped with the stereotypes. I can tell you that men who have coached with me are men with whom I would set up my sister. The men I’ve coached are all men I would call friends of mine. We get some really good quality men in here.
It may be true that there are all sorts of men out there who just want to get laid. Guys who come here to this site, however, are guys who are looking to have relationships and to make deeper connections with women. So, ladies, let’s give them some credit.
And if any of the other type of guys are reading today’s blog…..then this video is for you.
Craigslist? Do you know Craig . . . and have you seen his list?
Yesterday I decided since I have a great deal with T-Mobile that I don’t want to give up, that I would look on craigslist for an unlocked iPhone. I mean, I am a mac guy after all, so it would be great to have one.
When I looked at the iPhones online, the prices were all over the map. That’s when I started looking for one on craigslist.
so I go to craigslist and I email a few people about their unlocked iPhones for sale. In my emails, I said that I would like to have the warranty documentation with any phone I’d buy.
At first, no one emailed me back. It’s like buying a used car — absolutely no one tells you the truth. My old business partner used to say that buyers are liars (and so are sellers).
So when I woke up this morning, I had a few emails in my inbox about my iPhone inquiries. There were three of them. The first one said I had to send a Western Union money order with my address on it. Are people really that stupid?
The other two were the exact same email from two people named Movie and Doobie. You’d think they’d just call themselves something like Joe and Bob.
It’s amazing how many people fall for these money order scams. Sonja had a friend who fell for one about a puppy. For $500.00, she got a lovely plastic Chihuahua. I mean, really, are people that stupid?
Really, how many times are we going to win the African lottery and be told there is $22,000,000 waiting for us. Who knew you had four long-lost grandmothers in Africa who would die and leave you that kind of cash?!
I’ve always said we are America the gullible. So many people want to get rich quick and get money for doing nothing.
Look at all the people whose dating life hasn’t changed in a year, but they refuse to do anything about it. It always makes me wonder.
So back to Craig and his list. I’m still looking for iPhones. So if anyone has any leads or knows where I can get one, who knows what I might do to get one? I might do anything . . . even give away a free Bootcamp. You never know what I’ll do.
Today’s blog is all about something (other than the African lottery) that just doesn’t work in life.
As I was flippin’ around the channels the other night, I saw a re-run of Mystery’s show about PUAs, “The Pickup Artist.” For any of you who do not know, PUAs are a bunch of grown men who call themselves “pick up artists.”
I have never been a fan of the whole PUA thing for a number of reasons, but most importantly because I don’t agree with their methodology.
Their whole methodology is reaction-seeking. Everything they do is premised on seeking positive reinforcement from women. They’re not leading it.
They are always looking for something positive from women, so they can move forward. They’re looking for any of the described feedback contained in the PUA manuals. It’s all an illusion.
When they go up to a woman, they’re walking on eggshells because they’re solely focused on looking for some indication of interest (which they can an “IOI”). They are not leading the woman and having a conversation.
They are waiting for an “IOI” that the woman is going to allow them to continue talking so they can continue to move forward in the conversation. They’re looking for some type of body language signal.
The funny thing about this system is that it really is a joke. You HAVE to be able to walk up to a woman and lead. I have never walked over to a woman looking to see if she is interested. I am never looking for confirmation.
I’m going to say whatever I am going to say to her based on the situation around me, and I’m going to lead the conversation. I’m not sitting there and worrying the whole time.
The PUA guys are a bunch of worriers. They worry about what the woman is saying and doing, and all the while they are missing the whole conversation. When you miss that whole conversation, there really is no conversation.
Todays blog is for the women of my world. I am giving you some love and advice on this 100 degree day in October.
Those Santa Ana winds keep blowing in and cooking the world of DW!
Todays video is my thoughts on VH1 The Pickup Artist show with Mystery.
Women of all ages seem to have an unstoppable need to gather and heed their friends’ advice when it comes to dating – particularly when it comes to “analyzing” how well dates go (or don’t go as the case may be). Let me tell you – this practice is NOT helping you in your dating life. (more…)
