So you’ve got her phone number. Now closing and sealing the deal, getting them to go out with you—that’s only part of the picture.

How good are you at building up sexual tension after the first date? Do you even understand what sexual tension is all about?

I have something really special for you guys on today’s podcast. It’s a phone call that you can listen in. My head coach Shogo—and he’s my head coach for a reason—he decided that he’d call a woman up who he just started dating and allow ALL of you guys to listen in, so you can understand exactly what it’s like to build real sexual tension. To get her absolutely excited to see him the next time and to really show you guys how to amplify sexual tension when you’re on the phone with a woman.

Check it out and listen to the ex-lawyer do his thing.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

This blog is not, however, about Caller ID. It’s about what the guy said to me when he let me know he was on another call. He said to me, “I’ll call you when I get off.”

I thought, “I really don’t want to talk to you after you get off. I really don’t.” First of all, I don’t want to visualize you going to the bathroom, taking care of yourself, and then grabbing your phone with your greasy disgusting cum fingers. I really don’t need to know about you getting off.

Now if you are a woman and say to me “I’ll call you when I get off,” maybe that’s another story. Really, though, I don’t want to know that you have just gotten off.

It’s very funny the words people use. How many times has someone said to you on the phone, “Hey I’ll call you when I get off.” Well, great! I hope you enjoy that orgasm. Do you want me to listen to you have it too?

So the next time someone says to you, “I will call you when I get off,” be prepared with something good to say to them. Tell them, “Please don’t call me when you get off, because I don’t want to hear you cum. Call me when you’re off the phone.”

It would be interesting, though, if someone meant this literally. Can you imagine?

You pick up the phone and hear, “Oh, oh, oh!” as they moan and groan on the phone. If they have a significant other, you might even hear the climactic, orgasmic finish. This would really suck, however, if you haven’t had sex in a while and were constantly listening to people who call you when they’re getting off.

The perfect summer date!!

Anyway lets talk today about the convenience that things like cell phones, iPhones and BlackBerrys afford us, there is one major drawback: Our constant attention to them may be putting a serious dent in our love lives. There are so many people who spend virtually all day every day giving their cell phone, iPhone or BlackBerry 100% of their attention. Those people are missing opportunities to meet people every day, and in fact may not be meeting people at all.

These are likely the same people, by the way, from whom I receive emails daily complaining that they never see anyone to meet. The irony is that those people are being honest when they say they don’t see anyone to meet . . . but it’s not because people aren’t there. They are victims of “self cell phone sabotage.”

I don’t want any of you to be sabotaging yourselves from finding great connections all because of your cell phone. So to help you be aware if you unknowingly killing your love life by “self cell phone sabotage,” here are 6 ways your phone may be ruining your dating life:

1. You’re Stopping Them Mid-Approach: You’re in a store where someone is checking you out – someone you’ve also noticed and found attractive. Then that someone decides to approach you, but the minute they take their first step in your direction, your phone rings . . . and you answer it. Not only do you answer it, but you proceed to have the same unimportant repetitive conversation with the friend who called you. By doing this, you have stopped someone who was already interested in you from approaching – and they probably won’t wait around to do it a second time.

2. You’re Totally Programmed: Let’s put you in that same store, and that same person you were attracted to walks right by you and smiles just as you receive a text message on your phone. What do you do? Instead of reacting to what’s going on around you and reciprocating with a smile, you react like Pavlov’s dog to the “ding” of the incoming text and immediately look at your phone to find out who texted you. Not only did you miss that person to whom you WERE attracted smiling at you, but by not acknowledging their smile that person will believe you are not interested and they will walk away (and likely never smile at you again).

3. You’re Never “Here”: You could be out with a group of your friends in a great place filled with people you would want to meet. Instead of being present and talking with the people with whom you’re with physically, you are spending the entire time and devoting 100% of your attention to a full-blown conversation you are having with another friend via text message on your BlackBerry. Meanwhile a man or woman that you may have been interested in comes over and starts talking to your group. You are so involved in your text message conversation that you don’t even notice he or she is there. When you don’t acknowledge that person, they will assume you’re not interested and will walk away.

4. It Never Occurs To You To Look: It’s not that you don’t leave the house. You are in the grocery store, the gym, the book store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners EVERY DAY. So when I hear people say that they “never see anyone” to meet, I know immediately that they’re not “seeing” anyone because they’re simply not looking. If people want to meet people so badly why aren’t they looking? Well because they allow you to do virtually everything right from the palm of your hand, many people never stop checking their email, making business calls, doing Internet research and sending text messages. So even though they’re out in public, they miss everything (and everyone) around them. They also never interact with anyone – they don’t look at people, smile at people or flirt with people. It it any wonder they’re not meeting anyone?

5. You Make Your Date A “Third Wheel”: You’ve met someone you think you might really like, and you go out on a date with them. So there you are enjoying their company and feeling like there might be an amazing potential connection. Then the red light on your phone starts flashing or your phone starts vibrating alerting you that a text message has just been received. What do you do? Despite the fact that you’re in the middle of a great date, you just can’t resist picking up your phone to see who sent you that text. When you do this, you immediately turn off the person with whom you’re on the date. Nobody likes having a date interrupted by text messages, and nobody likes to feel that their date’s attention is not focused on them. You’re date will feel like a “third wheel.” You’ve also shown your date that your first priority will always be your phone.

6. You’re Always Available But Never Free: When someone tells me that they don’t get approached, or that they never “see” anyone to meet, I know that most of the time this is because that person does not make themselves available. In the case of people who are glued to their cell phone, their BlackBerry or their iPhone, what is happening is that they are “available” in that they are in places where they can meet people but they aren’t ever free. People won’t approach them, because they always seem busy with whatever they’re doing on their phone. They also won’t ever notice potential opportunities to meet people because they never look up from their phone.

So while I love the flexibility and the convenience that my BlackBerry affords me in being able to conduct so many of my business and personal affairs from ANYWHERE, I want to caution everyone to not let them take over your whole life. By doing so, you may be unknowingly killing your dating life.

Start being conscious about how much time you are spending glued to your phone, and try to avoid behaviors like these. Just think how many people you may have completely missed who wanted to meet YOU. Start paying attention to what’s going on LIVE around you. You won’t believe what (and who) you’ve been missing!

But anyway, then we went for a hike, we’ve probably written about 30 blogs today, we did some audio – we did a new audio confession, another one of my Girls Tell All series tonight – which is a very interesting product that is coming out that I’ll tell you about in a week or two.

Yakub and Khiem were asking me tonight how have I become so good at dirty talk. And really, I love dirty talk. And let’s not say ‘dirty,’ I’d rather use the term ‘naughty.’

So how did I get so good at naughty talk?

I have to thank my college girlfriend. Not Amy Alterman, Amy Alterman was my college girlfriend junior year. I used to call her FISP – which stood for Flicking Itching Scratching and Picking – she was definitely very neurotic, and I teased her, of course. I’ve always been teasing women since I was a child!

But I have to thank Ellen Weinberger. Ellen Weinberger was this hot, sexy girl from Livingston, New Jersey, that I went to American University with. And Ellen Weinberger – every guy in school wanted her. I met her when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman. She had one of those incredible bodies – 5’3”, natural big breasts, thin little body, brunette, big eyes, and she just reeked of sex appeal.

She was one of the sexiest girls you’ve ever seen. Every guy wanted her in school, but the problem was: she had a boyfriend.

Her boyfriend was this guy named Norm. Norm walked with a limp because he got into some car wreck, so we called him the Limping Boyfriend from Brooklyn (of course, being immature 19-year-olds, that was about the most clever thing we could come up with.) Ellen and I had instant chemistry, but she had this boyfriend.
I used to go to her room, we used to catch a buzz, and we used to talk dirty to each other. We would literally sit there and tell each other what we would do to each other if we were both single. So I would leave her room, after getting her all hot, and she’d go sleep with her boyfriend (because every weekend she’d go to Brooklyn to see Norm.) I’d go out and have sex with some random little college babe that I’d tried to hook up with – sometimes I’d get lucky, sometimes I wouldn’t.

At the end of the weekend, I would always see Ellen again, and we’d catch a buzz, and I’d look directly into her eyes and tell her, flat out, that I’d thought about her while I was sleeping with someone else. And I’d tell her about the things I’d want to do to her, and how great it would be if she’d just dump Norm.

This went on for two years. We just talked dirty to each other for two years! It was unbelievable. It was the most freeing, fantastic experience. I couldn’t have her because she kept dating Norm, but the conversations got deeper, more erotic, and more sexual – I knew everything about her sexually.

Then, halfway through my senior year, I went to Florida and came back. It was 1984. January 1984 – the start of my last semester of college. That was the year that old man coats were in style – if you remember those long woolen coats you could get at thrift stores.

I bought an old man coat, I had a little suntan, and I walked into Ellen’s apartment. It was on a Thursday night – we used to go out on Thursday nights, we’d catch a buzz and then go out and drink some more. We used to just flirt and tease each other, and then I’d pick up another girl and she’d go to see Norm the next day.

I remember picking her up, and doing our usual thing, flirting, teasing, talking dirty to each other, and then I dropped her off at her apartment. I asked her if she was going to see Norm that weekend and she said she was actually going to stay around here. I said, alright, cool, and told her we should get together. She said alright, and then she grabbed me, and she kissed me!

Now this was like two years of dirty talk culminating in this fantastic kiss. I was kissing Ellen Weinberger, the girl that everybody at school wanted, and I finally had her!

Ellen Weinberger and I ended up going out for the next two years.

She taught me how to be free with my words. How to push the envelope – how to not care – because our situation was safe. I was busy turning her on for two years with dirty talk, and she was having sex with her boyfriend and thinking about the things that I’d said – and then she would tell me about it.

That’s how I learned how to talk dirty – that’s how I learned how to push it. That’s how I learned what to say, what not to say, and how to say it.

I have to thank Ellen for allowing me to be free. Ever since then, I’ve always been able to say what’s on my mind sexually. Always. Being sexually free is really what it’s about. When I talk dirty I’m not talking in a very graphic way, I’m talking very subliminally. But that’s how it all started.

I really believe that when you’re growing up, it’s the experiences that you have with the first couple of women that really set the stage to what kind of man you’re going to become. And I had fantastic sexual experiences with my first few girlfriends.

My high school girlfriend wouldn’t sleep with me, but we had foreplay all day long. So when all my friends were trying to get laid – thinking about it all the time and then not getting laid – I was getting some great education in foreplay. I learned the importance of foreplay at the age of 17!

And I learned the importance of dirty talk at the age of 19. I had to get really good at talking dirty to get Ellen to break up with Norm. It took me two years of dirty talk to get her to breakup. Two years of practice allows you to perfect it! Once I got her to breakup with Norm, I had the confidence to talk dirty to any woman out there.

So that’s my story of how I learned to talk dirty. What’s yours?

I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”

Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.

It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are.

For instance, if someone is in his or her late forties, they always write, “I’m 48, but I’m a young 48. I don’t look like I’m 48.” Nobody thinks that they look like their age. You either look good for your age, or you don’t.

I’m 46 years old, and I look good for my age. I know people who are my age that don’t – and they admit it. Some of us look good for our age, and some of us don’t. It’s the way life is. The way we are depends on the way we take care of ourselves – our exercise routines, our genes, everything.

So stop building yourself up on your profile. Let the reader make a decision based on your photo about if you look good for your age. When you build yourself up like this, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you say, “I really look great for my age,” and somebody upon seeing your photo disagrees, then you will take it as a personal insult.

Profiles are just fantasy – and often nothing more. People write whatever they want to write. They don’t tell you the truth! If someone is slightly overweight, they aren’t going to tell you that in their profile! They will give you this beautiful picture of who they are.

We’re people, and we all have our faults. We all have flaws. And the only way to find that out is to go out and meet people. If you took the amount of time you spend online dating and actually went out into the real world to talk to people, you wouldn’t go back to spending so much time with online dating.

You can’t make one thing your only resource. You need to do what I call the ’20-20-20-20-20 rule.’ 20% of your life can be online dating, 20% can be meeting men or women in supermarkets, 20% can be meeting them in coffee shops, 20% can be parties… whatever it is.

You have to diversify your portfolio – your dating and people meeting portfolio. If this year, all you invested in was the S & P 500, you’d be down about 20% in the stock market right now.

If you bought real estate in 2005 thinking the market would get better, you’d be down about 40% – 80% right now, depending on the market that you’re in. Life is all about diversification.

The next time that you are angry with the internet, or angry with people in their online dating profiles, ask yourself: are you diversified in the way you meet people? If you’re not, you are never going to meet anybody.

So get out there and diversify!

Today lets spend our Sunday talking about nice guys.

Are you a nice guy that always seems to be in the friend zone.

Todays podcast will open your eyes to say the least.

Click here to download…

Have a great Sunday.

Do you remember the movie Swingers….well i f you think Jon Favreau was a bumbling idiot when he called that woman on the phone at the end of the movie and left a message.

You have heard nothing yet. Click here for so you can listen to Mr Clueless.

This man has no clue at all and this was one of the funniest things i have ever heard.

Thanks Max from London for this great recording…..you have made my day and i know everyone will appreciate this great find!!!

And for those of you who never ever saw Swingers with Vince Vaughn.

This is equally a classic.

It is unbelievable that men still think that they can instant message a woman, and immediately suggest perverted acts without even setting the scene and seducing her. The man who uses the technique of the GEICO caveman and the chap below are the same type of man, ladies, who won’t do ANY foreplay with you. It’s all about him getting off.

Most men just don’t seem to get it. The way to seduce a woman via IM is to do a slow, verbal tease. It makes for a lot more fun, and it turns her on a hell of a lot more than the caveman below. If you want to learn how to successfully seduce and intrigue a woman via instant messaging, then you need to stay tuned for another blog down the road.

Today’s blog is to read what transpired between my reader and the GEICO caveman. Everything that this man did in this instant message session is 100% wrong! Enjoy . . . and this is not for the faint of heart. You’ve been warned!!

MH: wassup
SK: Just got home from a LONG meeting . . . wassup with you?
MH: tv
SK: Anything good on?
MH: naw
MH: u
SK: I haven’t even gotten to turning on the tv yet
MH: still wanna hookup?
SK: Maybe . . . what do you have in mind??
MH: crazy f&%*#ing
SK: A lovely thought . . . but not for tonight
SK: R u up for anything slightly more tame tonight?
MH: bj is less
SK: No . . . not quite less enough for me tonight If you are still up for
the kissing/cuddling thing however . . .
MH: finger?
SK: huh?
MH: can i finger f#$^ u?
SK: Um…I don’t think so tonight …
MH: can i lick?
SK: If you’re up for the kissing/cuddling with a possibility of a little more, then I’m in . . .
MH: how bout i put my penis in your mouth
SK: exactly how is that different than a bj???
MH: i dunno
MH: sounds fun though
SK: I’m sure it does . . . I’m still waiting to see if you’re acceptable to my offer …
MH: what is that?
SK: the cuddling/kissing thing . . .
SK: long pause there – thinking . . thinking . . .
MH: i want u to make me cum somehow
SK: hmmm . . . well, I guess that would depend on how much
you enjoy the cuddling/kissing So… it’s a possibility I guess
SK: Long pause again … you seem unsure . . .maybe you should think about
it and get back to me
MH: how?
SK: how should you get back to me?
MH: how would u make me cum
SK: well . . .
MH: how
SK: I’m sensing a theme here … OK well maybe next time we’re together
I could reach down while we’re cuddling . . .
MH: jerk me off?
SK: it’s a possibility . . .
SK: Are you still up for the kissing/cuddling part?
MH: yup
SK: So . . . what are you thinkin’?
MH: i can beat my own meat
MH: lol
SK: Hmmm . . . sounds like you don’t need me then
MH: u need to be a little more compelling
SK: Look, dog in heat, I don’t mind making out and cuddling
the first time we hang out . . .
MH: do u wear a bikini
SK: huh?
MH: do u wear a bikini
SK: why do you ask?
MH: curious
SK: Do you?
MH: no u
SK: Not unless I’m at the beach …
MH: u wear one though?
SK: yeah . . . when you and I go to the beach, I’ll wear
the littlest bikini so you can see my ass
MH: do u wear one
SK: enough with the bikini . . . you’re boring me
MH: simple y/n?
SK: yes i wear a bikini
MH: kind of underwear
SK: no . . . i wear the big granny underwear that you
find in the 99 cent bin at kmart
MH: what kind?
SK: red silk grandmother panties . . . that’s what I wear
MH: ok
SK: ok?
MH: what kind of underwear
SK: [no answer]
MH: i have an idea
SK: What’s your idea?
MH: we can shower
SK: I’m already clean
MH: wanna do that
SK: no I don’t want to shower . . . my offer
of cuddle stands . . . final offer
MH: shirtless for you?
SK: fully clothed in the grandmother flannel . . . I don’t trust u
MH: time do u have to get up
SK: 6:15-6:30 ish
MH: do u want me to bring condoms?
SK: what part of cuddling do you not understand?
MH: just asked if u want me to bring them
SK: thanks . . . but no . . . cuddling means cuddling
. . . cuddling doesn’t mean humping
MH: titty f&^%?
SK: [no answer]

Even after all this, and even after she said cuddling (which by the way she was not going to do anyway because she didn’t trust him), he still persisted and asked if he should bring condoms. The key to any successful flirting is to listen, and obviously this GEICO caveman does not listen!

Read some of my actual IM sessions with women I met online — and who did want to get hot and sexy with me the very first night I met them! CLICK HERE to check them out.