It’s a great thing to say. It’s a much more personal and friendly way to say goodbye. Most people will just say, “Bye,” and that’s fine, but there’s no personal connection about it. Saying “See you soon” implants in the person’s mind that you might actually see them again in the future.

People appreciate the warmth they get when you say that to them. Strive to end all of your conversations with “I’ll see you soon.”

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Eagles and the Chargers in the Super Bowl.

Client: So are you opposed to the idea of the first contact being through texting?

David: Yeah.

Client: Sometimes I feel like on the phone I can’t ever get my rap together. And nowadays, no one ever answers their phone!

Khiem: David’s a bit different from me. I don’t mind a quick text once in a while. I don’t mind the first contact to be via text but there needs to be a phone call very quickly after that.

David: I do like texting. Khiem, you just like to talk on the phone longer than I do. The other day Khiem got on the phone at 5:30 and rumor has it he wasn’t off of it until 11:30 or 12:00! When he wants to have a phone conversation, you might as well make plans for yourself for lunch, dinner, and a snack! It will be a while!

Khiem: With the girl that I’m seeing, I made a rule that I wasn’t going to talk to her every day. So then every time we talk, she wants more. I try to give her enough to last her a couple of days. I don’t want to talk to her every day!

Client: When you’re seeing somebody, how much do you think that they want to hear from you?

Khiem: I set a rule about what I want. Do you remember how I said earlier that you should make sure that you tell people how much you expect from them? Let them know what you want so that they know what to expect from you.

I tell women up front that I like my independence and that calling every day is too much for me. I tell her that I want her to grow and have her own life. I don’t like clingy girls, and I tell women that straight up. If you like clingy girls, that’s cool, but that’s not who I am, and I won’t do it.

And because I’ve laid that out to her, she accepts it. You have to tell them up front. For me, we can talk every two or three days – no more than that.

Client: But when you do talk to her, you have meaningful conversations, right?

Khiem: Oh yeah, it’s always meaningful, and many times it’s arousing as well. Not every phone call would include dirty talk, but many of them do.

Client: Do you think that there are special considerations when you are dating younger women?

David: How young are they? (laughter)

Client: Not like students, I’d say around 30. That’s the absolute youngest I would ever go.

Khiem: You have to understand their world.

David: Yeah.

Khiem: Try to understand their world, because each woman at different ages has different expectations in life. Based on their expectations and lifestyle, you can work from that angle.

You don’t want to try to accommodate yourself entirely to her. But if you’re dating a woman who is a lawyer or does something corporate, then you know that she has a busy schedule. You know that you have to set up a date at least three or four days in advance – if not a week.

But if you know that she’s more active and spontaneous, you can call her more often and be more spur-of-the-moment with your dates. That’s how you tailor your communication style to the woman that you are interested in.

At a younger age, she has a higher level of distractions. Women in their twenties have a high level of distractions, particularly around 23, 24, 25.

Client: 23 is like insane.

David: At 23, it’s like a Labrador Retriever on the beach! “Should I play? Should I sniff ass? Should I go? Should I get the ball? Oh my god, nobody wants to play with me? I’m going to go lie down and look sad for 20 minutes.”

Khiem: Yeah, at 28 you start to get settled. 28-year-olds still haven’t fully matured yet, but around that age they start to settle down. But again, what is she doing? What kind of life does she live? Is she working? Is she still in party-mode?

You can meet women in their thirties that are still in party-mode.

David: Oh yeah!

Khiem: But you can also meet 24-year-olds who are out of that, done with partying and looking for something more.

David: Let’s take it a bit deeper. I speak to all women in the same way, because I know that I attract a certain type of woman. I’m very careful about who I attract into my life. I like a certain type of woman.

Sometimes someone might slip through the cracks – because the sex is great or whatever. There are certain women you’ll put up with more shit from because you’re just in the mood for that type of sexual relationship or something.

But most of the time, if you like a certain type of woman, you’re used to dealing with that type of woman. Maybe you don’t like the hard, ball-busting, lawyer type of woman, so you avoid them. Maybe you prefer the creative types – or whatever it might be. You’re used to that type of woman, and that’s what you attract.

But I always tell a guy that if you’re looking for a woman a lot younger than you, you’re going to encounter a whole other language.

Client 1: I feel like on some of these online dating sites, the girls my age are always looking for men aged 28 to 45. What does that mean?

Client 2: What’s wrong with that? What site is that again? (laughter)

Client 1: But what does that really mean? Does that mean that they just want someone that is mature and confident?

Khiem: Probably. Usually what they mean by older is not so much age, but someone who is comfortable with themself.

A lot of younger girls who are looking for older men are tired of the guys their age who have no clue. They are looking for a guy who is really secure in his own identity. He might be established as well, but that’s usually coming from the maturity of being secure in yourself. Generally that’s what they mean when they are looking for older guys.

Client 1: Okay, I just didn’t know if I should take it at literal value, like, okay they are just looking for someone that is older.

David: It means that they are pretty much open. They are looking for somebody who knows himself. They are tired of meeting man-boys. They’ve dated them. They are sick and tired of guys that are indecisive.

But they don’t really realize that the older guys are often just as indecisive! We have more life experience to share with them, which they like, but age doesn’t necessarily mean you’re secure with yourself.

It’s time to declare your outcome independence! Here are ways to lose your outcome dependence and attract more women by connecting with them:

1. Stop Being A Predator: You can’t possibly meet every woman you see. Virtually every guy I’ve ever coached have asked me how they can meet women who are walking toward them on the street. Think about this though. You’re walking down the street. You see a woman you find attractive who is also walking down the street. You’re both in a hurry. You all of a sudden become very outcome dependent – you want to meet her right now and get her phone number right now. Let me try to put it into perspective: When you’re in a rush walking down the street, do you like to be bothered? You can’t bother every single woman as she walks down the street by stopping her to ask her for her phone number. You need to realize that you can’t have every single woman you see simply because you find them attractive, because women will not be attracted to you unless you know how to also connect with them. So stop being a predator who chases women, and start attracting them by engaging them in conversations.

2. Good Mechanics Don’t Ensure Success: Just because you walked over to a woman and opened her with some amazing words of wisdom does not mean that she will want to go out with you. When you speak with a woman you need to listen very carefully to what she has to say, because it takes more than a clever opener to really get a woman to be interested in you. You need to pay really close attention to everything a woman says so you can initiate conversation topics about what’s already in her mind. You need to be able to not only engage her in conversation, but also to be able to take the conversation deeper. So just because you arrived on the scene and delivered a perfect opener does not mean that you’re going to get the phone number. It takes a lot more than just showing up in life to get that phone number from a woman.

3. Stay In The Moment: One of the most important things to do to stop being outcome dependent is to make a significant mindset shift. What this means is that when you are talking to a woman, you need to stop focusing on getting women’s phone numbers and start focusing more on staying present in the moment. A lot of men will ask a woman for her phone number and to go out on a date with him mere seconds after they approach and start talking to her. That is the very embodiment of being outcome dependent. Remember once again that in order to get a woman’s phone number you must first connect with her emotionally and in a way that will make her want to give you her phone number. One thing you’ll need to do to connect with women is to be willing to share something about yourself.

Think about this from a woman’s perspective. You’re a complete stranger who has approached her and asked her out … all in fifteen seconds or less. She will first wonder why you are asking her out, but since you know nothing else about her she will assume that you are only asking her out because you are physically attracted to her. Plus since she knows nothing about you, she is unlikely to agree to give you her phone number. So if you want to connect with women when you meet them, you are going to have to spend some time being in the moment with them. Putting in this time also allows both of you to see if you even like each other. Plus, if you’ve been in the moment and connected with a woman when you meet her, if she does give you her phone number she will be excited to get your call (instead of feeling about you like she does about most telemarketers).

4. There Is No Call Back Guarantee: Just because you were able to get a woman’s phone number does not mean that she will call you back after you’ve called her. It is a simple fact of life that there are some women who will give out their phone number just because a man asks for it and regardless of whether she actually is interested in having him call her. There are other women who may genuinely be interested in you when they give you their phone number, but may decide later (due to changing their mind or meeting someone else) that they are not so interested in talking to you, and thus may not return your call when you call them. So to increase your odds of getting a call back, make sure you connect with a woman emotionally before you ask for her phone number. That will greatly increase the chances she will call you back. If a woman for whatever reason does not call you back, don’t take it personally. That happens to everyone. Just move on to meeting someone else. There’s always another woman to meet.

So are you a guy who believes that if you get a woman’s phone number that she is going to be your next girlfriend (or might even be “the one”)? Are you also a guy who believes that if that same woman doesn’t call you back that you must not have said the right thing when you approached her? If so, then you like so many men are very outcome dependent.

So many men perceive approaching a woman like a rite of passage which entitles them to favorable responses from the women they’ve approached. This is the outcome dependent mentality. It’s time to declare your outcome independence!

Understand that you may have to approach a lot of women before you find one who really relates to you. Also, the next time you walk up to a woman, don’t think about how badly you want to go out with her. Instead, get to know her first to see if you really do want to go out with her.

1. Take Action And Keep The Momentum Going: One of the biggest things I stress to people when they are dating online is to make a meeting happen with people you meet as soon as possible. Don’t write emails back and forth for two weeks. Don’t wait ten days before you will give someone your phone number. If you’re interested in someone, then you need to remember that online dating is a momentum based thing. The person in whom you are interested may be corresponding with six, seven or ten other people. You want to be the one that sticks out among the group. You want to be the person who is full of action. So immediately, the minute after you have exchanged emails twice, get a phone number, talk on the phone and set up a meeting. Set up something very simple. Go meet for a cup of coffee. Take a walk with your dog. Pick something really easy.

Online dating is dating by the numbers. So don’t go back and forth forever with someone via email or phone before you have your first meeting. You don’t want to do that. If you’re emailing back and forth with someone and enjoying it, then get on the phone with them because it is all about momentum. If you continue to just email back and forth you are going to lose the momentum.

2. Real Chemistry Happens In Person: A problem in online dating is that most of the time you are not going to have the chemistry with someone in person that you do over the phone or via email, so you always want to keep your first meeting simple. You want the meeting to happen quickly, and you want to make sure that you both drive to the place you’re meeting so you are able to leave when you want to leave. Once you decide to meet, pick a place like a coffee shop or an activity like taking a walk where you both of you can come to meet each other. Never have dinner on a first meeting.

Chemistry is all about the voice and the physical presence, so never engage in these ongoing email marathon sessions with someone before you meet them. It is likely to get you disappointed once you do finally meet up with that person. You need to realize that the faster you get together for that first meeting, the faster you are going to find out whether or not this is someone who is really worth your time. Just like with the emails, don’t spend two hours talking on the phone with someone you haven’t yet met in person. Remember that you haven’t met them, and when you speak on the phone talk only long enough to establish that you potentially have some chemistry before you set up your first meeting. Once again, it is worth it for me reiterate the point that most of the time you will not have the chemistry with someone in person that you do with them on the phone.

3. Put The Right Kind Of Photos On Your Profile: The minimum number of photos you should post with your online profile is five, and every single one of those photos must be current. Of those five pictures, three of them need to be full body shots. Your photographs on your online profile need to be such so you are clearly visible in them. Don’t post any of these ridiculous kind of photos where you are so far off in the distance you are totally unrecognizable, but the picture shows you off in the distance skydiving or something. Don’t post pictures of you from a distance surrounded by ten of your friends at a dinner table. Each of your photos need to clearly show who you are and what you’re all about. All of the photos you post also must have you in them. Don’t post photos just of your dog or of a waterfall you saw during your last trip to Hawaii. Your online profile is not a travel agent brochure. Instead, show clear pictures of you with your dog or on your vacation in Hawaii.

4. Look Within Your Area First: Another tip to increase your chances for a successful transition from online into real life is look in your own geographic area first. Don’t send winks to people who live 3,000 miles away from you. It is ridiculous. Search within your own geographic area. Try limiting your search at first to a twenty-five mile radius. Now, don’t do that for one day then declare there to be no one in your area to meet so as to give yourself permission to re-expand your search area. Instead, keep looking within that same mile radius. If you live somewhere and there’s not a lot of women there or a lot of men there, respect other people’s boundaries.

Also, don’t waste time trying to connect with someone who says they are looking to meet someone who lives within a ten mile radius of where they live when you live 500 miles away from them. Don’t waste other people’s time, just as you would not want someone wasting yours. Successfully dating online is all about being as time efficient as possible. If you do that, you are going to really be able to go out and meet more people. So respect other people’s boundary lines.

5. Remember to “Reapply”: When dating online, it is important to remember that going online to meet someone is very much like going to a giant singles bar. So just because you contacted someone a month ago (or two or three months ago) and they did not respond, does not necessarily mean they are not or would not be interested in you. There are a million reasons why they may not have responded to you the first time. They may have been dating someone else. They may have had their profile online but not have been checking it at all. They may simply have gotten a flood of emails the day you sent yours and your message got “lost in the shuffle.” So, in online dating it is perfectly okay to “reapply” if you are still interested in someone who did not respond to you.

There are a few important keys to remember when reapplying online. First, do not ever reapply with the exact same email as the one you originally sent. Type something different and something fun. Do not reference the fact that the person did not respond to you the first time. Also, only reapply once. Do not take the idea of “reapplying” as a justification to start online stalking someone.

6. Make Your Contacts Real Conversations: Online dating is about starting the conversation. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s about starting a conversation. So before you contact someone, make sure you read their profile. It’s very important to begin communication with someone you see online by addressing something substantive you liked or noticed about their profile. Remember that when that person (and ostensibly all people who put up a profile) wrote their profile, they did so to communicate certain pieces of information about themselves to you. That is, they gave you information so they could start a conversation with you.

So, imagine what someone is like when you read their profile. Read it aloud so you can actually hear their voice tone, and then take the first couple of questions that come into your mind and send them to that person. It will make for the start of a real conversation with them so you can see if they are someone you want to get to know better and to meet.

These tips will really make your online dating experience far more rewarding, far better, and will help you start to finally meet people from online that you want to get to know in the real world. It’s about being different, and not being the same as everyone else who is online looking to meet someone.

David: What would I say on my first phone call? The first phone call should always be based on something that we talked about the night before – always. I want to bring her back to the moment that we had before.

I don’t “date” that much at all. I’m very much about just hanging out; connecting… so my first phone conversation is always based on something we talked about the last time.

Jonathan: So let’s say I met her on the street when she was handing out fliers, and we bonded over Sweden. She’s from Sweden, and I’ve been there before.

David: Okay, what else?

Jonathan: Music, movies – she’s also a musician and an actress.

David: So how did you ask for her number? What did you say to her?

Jonathan: I don’t know, I don’t really remember.

David: Okay, well here’s the thing: it all starts with the way that you ask for the number. The way you ask for her number is the same way you start the phone conversation.

So if you said, “oh my god, I’ve really enjoyed talking music with you. Give me your number, I want to continue this conversation,” you’re giving her something to look forward to.

Then you call her up on the phone, you can say, “hey, how are you doing? You know, I was thinking about what we were talking about the other night and I was really curious and wondering whether or not you listen to the Postal Service?” or something.

You want to make it as if the conversation has almost never stopped. You want her to feel like it’s just a continuous conversation from the last time until now.

So many guys don’t relate to women very well. They will get her phone number and then call her up and telemarket her: “so, I’m the guy that you gave your number…”

It’s all about creating that moment. It’s the only line from Jerry Maguire that actually made sense – “you had me at hello.”

Women are looking for that magic “hello” or whatever it might be. They are looking for something to help them build that story up. It’s a continual story.

So that Swedish musician? That story is Jonathan and the Swedish Girl. The story started with music and meatballs – she was handing out fliers on the street and she met this cool guy who asked for her number. He called her the next night and remembered the details about the conversation (which excites women, because their biggest complaint is that men don’t listen.)

You bring that real conversation into the phone conversation. That is how I would do it.

Today is also all about how to relate to her when you first speak to her. Check out todays video.

First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldn’t be looking at her profile if you don’t have a mutual friend. You’re not cruising Facebook – you’re just looking through other people’s friends.

Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you don’t know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.

And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend – because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.

But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Don’t you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, he’s got two friends! It’s ridiculous; it’s such a popularity contest.

So anyway, you go to this woman’s profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.

Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be…

I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write “hello.” What the fuck, hello? Delete.

But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you don’t want to open it, and when you do open it, you’re like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.

And then the body of the email: …that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that you’re my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and I’m hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith. ☺

You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.

She’s going to open it, giggle and laugh, and she’s going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.

You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.

It’s amazing how many people I call, and the first thing I learn about them is their phone number recited by a computerized woman’s voice. Do you realize that your first “meeting” with and introduction to someone might be via your voicemail message?

You may thereafter hand somebody a business card with the intention of introducing yourself to them for business purposes, but their first impression of you will remain hearing “You have reached 310-555-1212 . . . ” Do you know what type of first impression that makes? None.

The other terrible thing about this ever-so-sexy computerized voice reciting a phone number as your voicemail message, is that as the caller you sometimes think you may have dialed the wrong number because there is no way to know whose voicemail you’ve reached (since today we don’t usually memorize everyone’s phone number). So you don’t leave a message. Thus, even though we know we dialed 312-555-1212, we might have hit the wrong button and we didn’t memorize it.

I don’t care whether it’s your business or your personal voicemail, you need to leave a warm personally recorded message so people who hear it can get an idea of your personality. For example, I’ve been using basically the same voicemail message for years. In mine, I say:

“Hey, it’s David. Great to hear from you. Looking forward to speaking with you, but I can’t get to the phone right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I get into the office. Take care, and make it a great day!”

Your voicemail message should at a minimum be something that’s strong. I have excitement in my voice in my message.

I want people to be excited to talk to me. I want people to be interested in talking to me. I want them to know that I’m a warm person.

It’s amazing how lazy most people have become. This is a problem that is equally prevalent in men as it is in women.

There is no reason you should have a computerized voicemail message at work. It’s unprofessional in every way. Let people know about who you are.

If you’re dating, then having a computerized voicemail message is simply ridiculous. If I call a woman and get the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” voicemail, then I wonder if I was handed a wrong phone number and very often I will not want to leave a message.

Why should I leave a message in that situation? I don’t know whose phone I’ve reached. I don’t know if I’ve reached Amy, Lisa … or some weird 90-year old guy in prison somewhere who just likes to listen to voicemail messages.

So when you record your voicemail message, make it warm and friendly – but don’t make it stupid. I can’t tell you how many times I have called someone and, after hearing their dog barking in the background, their message in their cutest tone of voice says “Fred says ‘leave a message!’ Ha Ha Ha …” That is really annoying.

Also, what about when you call up a family home and after the voicemail begins “You’ve reached the Wilsons ….” you hear each child in turn yell their own name like “Timmy! Amy! Joe!” followed by the dog barking after being introduced. How cute … if you’re a part of that family.

How about the people who put an excerpt of a tv show or song as part of their voicemail message? Like that makes sense. Why in order to leave someone a message am I being forced to endure 30 seconds of a tv show that I don’t watch?

It’s time we all grew up. It’s time we all stopped being lazy. It’s time we all recorded a personal voicemail message.

So for all of you who have the “You’ve reached 310-555-1212 …” message on your voicemail, it’s time you decided to say “hi.” As for me, I’ll end this blog by saying “This is David . . . and welcome to my voicemail!”

Going further into voice. Do you know how to create powerful emotions with the tone of your voice.
Todays video explores that and more!

So with the weatherall toasty hot, it’s time for you to change your whole attitude on where to go and what to do on a date. Forget about the old standbys of dinner, drinks or a movie. They’re boring . . . and we also need to save those things for those cold winter months when we’re stuck with planning indoor-type dates.

It’s time to think summer dates, so let me get you started with some suggestions. These are not only going to be fun and different, but they will give both of you lots to talk about while you’re doing them. Here are 8 great summer date ideas to try:

1. Take A Cooking Class Together. Cooking is fun. Not only that, but doing things together – like chopping the vegetables or playing with the meat – can be a very sensual experience. This is a great way to share something with someone . . . whether your joint culinary effort results in something edible or not. Doing something fun like this on a date creates lasting memories, and this is definitely the kind of date you can joke about with each other for a long time.

2. Take A Trip To Target. Another date that I like I call “The Target Date.” What I like to do is ask a woman to go out for a drink, but then I tell her that I need to run an errand and pick something up at Target before we go. Most people enjoy going to Target – it’s a lot of fun to roam around there. When we get to Target, I’ll grab my basket and say “You know what? Let’s play a fun game. I feel really generous today, and I’m willing to buy you anything you want in the store that costs $1.29. But here’s the catch. It has to cost exactly $1.29. You can’t have three extra cents if it costs $1.32 and you can’t cheat yourself out of three cents by picking something that costs $1.26.” Then what you do is conduct your own scavenger hunt inside Target. You’ll see her looking around and start filling her basket with things that cost $1.29 while she debates which thing she wants. What happens here is you create a fun and very interactive date. Not only that, but you will create memories that will last a long time because it’s different.

3. Check Out Your Local Farmers Market. A date I love to do when when the weather starts getting warm is to ask a woman to go do some food sampling at a Farmers Market. You walk around together, check out all the different stands, and start sampling the food. You can sample some of the wine there together. Start sampling different kinds of vegetables. Sample the fruit and decide which one is each other’s favorite. It’s fun. It’s an active date. It’s also different and something you don’t do very often.

4. Cruise For Barbecues. Another fun date I like is to drive around your neighborhood on a Saturday afternoon or early evening, and start sniffing for barbecues. Your goal: to crash a barbecue. Find one where you see a bunch of cars parked near the house. Then you both walk around together to the backyard, and see which of you is exposed first as the “barbecue crasher.” It’s a lot of fun. On one date where I did this, we both made up stories about how we knew “the cousins.” We were both eventually found out, but the funny thing was that people really didn’t care. A lot of people at barbecues are strangers anyway that were invited by a guest. On another barbecue-crashing date, I actually didn’t get caught the entire night until the very end when the host thanked me for coming then looked at me and said “. . . but who are you??”

5. Have A Different Kind Of Picnic. Everybody does a picnic in the park. Here is a great twist on this old favorite. Tell your date that you are going to go have a picnic. When you get in the car, however, just take a quick ten minute drive around the block and park back at your place. Then go up on the roof. When they say “But I thought we were going to have a picnic,” you say “We are . . . we’re going to have a picnic on the roof.” Hopefully your house or your building has roof that’s high enough that you’ll have a great view of your city. Doing this will be different and unique. Instead of being in the middle of a park with kids running around and having to search the park for “that perfect spot,” do something close to home and head to the roof! This is a new way of rediscovering where you live and seeing things from a completely different perspective.

6. Relive Your Childhood. A really fun idea is to bring your date into a “kid moment.” Ask them “What is one of your favorite things you used to do when you were a kid?” If, for example, the person says they used to love to draw. Tell them “I don’t care how well you draw, I know you like to doodle so we’re going on a field trip.” There’s a lot of fun little stores nowadays (I think one of them is called “Color Me Mine”) where you can take your choice of pottery and paint it as many colors as you want. Then you can come back a week later after they’ve “cooked” it for you. Guess what? This ensures a second date because you both have to go back there to pick up your little art pieces. Then you can compare how your pieces turned out. How much fun would it be to share a kiddy moment with your potential significant other?

7. Be A Photographer. Try going on a date walking around your city like tourists – except don’t do the “tourist thing” and pretend you’re visiting. Instead, do it like you are a photographer and a model. One of you can be the photographer and the other can be the model. You can then switch roles, or even split the roles if you want. Have you each choose five spots you think would be fun to take a picture of the other. Then run all around the city just like a model and a photographer looking for the next best spot. You’ll be surprised at how fun it is. Not only do you get to explore new areas of the city, but it will really push you to be super spontaneous . . . and nothing is more fun than when you’re each trying to figure thing out, trying new things and trying to come up with things on the spot. The fact that nothing is planned is what makes a date like this exciting.

8. Arrange A Scavenger Hunt. This date brings in the spontaneity ingredient I talked about above. So, go out and explore your city except instead of taking pictures you make it a scavenger hunt. This is a great idea in particular if you are the man making the plans. It’s intriguing. First tell her to dress a certain way and to meet you at a certain place. For instance, you could call her or send her a text message saying “Hey, meet me at 3:30 pm at the park wearing sneakers.” Once she gets there, you can leave a little gift or note for her and then tell her where to go or what to do next. By the time she comes to see you, she’s going to be happy because you’ve led her to multiple experiences all in one date. This is a great way to use imagination and engage her desire to be playful with you. Trust me, she’ll love the fact that you’ve been so creative (because likely no one else has done that for her!).

The good thing about non-traditional dates like these is that it gives you the opportunity to engage your senses. It could be your sense of smell, your sense of hearing or your sense of taste. It’s bringing those into a date that makes a date fun and memorable.

Also, the more senses you can bring into your date is more opportunities where you can develop a connection with your date (whether emotionally, physically or sensually). To the guys, remember that by stimulating a woman’s senses you are also stimulating her mind. This will make a woman more attracted to you just by being around you.

These are all fantastic ideas for dates because, don’t forget, more than anything else a date is supposed to be fun! A date is not meant to consist of just sitting across from each other at a dinner table exchanging resumes, watching each other chew, and making decisions about each other.

Activity dates are always a lot more fun, a lot less pressure-filled and something that I always recommend. So try out these ideas, or get creative and think of some great creative dates to enjoy this summer!

Now I know I missed some good ones so please share some of your favorites!