The Superbowl.

Unfortunately, my J.E.T.S. did not make it this year, but as a fan of the game––I’ll still be watching; rooting against the ________s.

Obi said I should engage with you all while I’m sitting back with the chips and guacamole. So…I’ll do something new and tweetcast all my irreverent thoughts throughout the Superbowl! (I know, I’m so 2012.) Follow me @Davidwygant to get all the latest tweets.

If you’ve never had a coaching session, or been to any of the bootcamps, this may be your chance to get some one-on-one time with me––as much as you can fit in 140 characters! I’ll be tweeting and responding to tweets all day using the hashtag #WygantSB. (Make sure to tag your tweets with #WygantSB if you’re going to join the conversation.)

Football and dating. My two favorite topics.

Let’s tweet, tweeps.

Forty-two years ago the New York Jets won the Super Bowl. I was just a little kid then. I barely remember it. All I remember about it was my Dad watching it and Joe Namath celebrating — and that’s about it.

The thing about being seven years old is that we all have what I call “Young Alzheimer’s.” We tend to forget what happened even the day before, and it’s hard to bring back those memories unless you see pictures or videos of yourself.

It’s time for the New York Jets to take it to the next level. Forty-two years since the last Super Bowl victory. That’s a long time.

Last year they made it to the Championship Game, and they were happy just to be there. They were 9-7, and they only made it to that game due to catching a couple of lucky breaks at the end of the season.

This year, however, they dominated. They were 9-2, then they struggled in a few games, and ended up finishing 11-5.

This year, they made it to the playoffs and they beat Peyton Manning. As Rex Ryan said, ‘This time it was personal.’ They beat the Colts and it felt great.

The Jets could have quit there. They could have said, “At least this year we beat Peyton Manning.” They didn’t have that attitude. Instead they were thinking, “Up next is the juggernaut called the Patriots.” Up next they were facing the 14-2 Patriots who embarrassed them earlier in the season in a 45-3 blowout and then taunted them to try and make them feel worthless.

What happened when they played the Patriots in the playoffs? The Jets dominated them. They could have quit there and thought, “Well we dominated the Colts and the Patriots. We don’t need to beat the Steelers.” But they do . . . and so do you.

I think there comes a time when “just good enough” is not enough. There comes a time when you really need to put the other team away. There comes a time when you must take it to the next level.

you can’t be satisfied anymore with just being “good enough” or just being “okay.” There comes a time when you’ve got to deliver, and you have to believe and take your game to the next level in order to do it.

Mark Sanchez and the Jets need to do that. As Bart Scott said at the end of his interview, he can’t wait to get to Pittsburgh. I can’t wait to see the Jets beat the Steelers. I can’t wait to see them go to the next level.

It’s just a game. It’s just football. It means nothing in the long run. I’m not playing or coaching — I’m just a fan. In the long run, however, what is important is how you take YOUR game to the next level.

Are you tired of just going out and saying hello? Don’t you want to ask somebody out? Do you want to get the number? Do you want to date the person you most want to date?

Aren’t you just sick and tired of just being ‘in the game’ and being “just okay?” Don’t you want to dominate the game, own the game and become the powerful person you always wanted to become?

I don’t care if you’re a man or woman. It’s time to stop just showing up, and to stop congratulating yourself for just showing up. It’s time for all of you to dominate in the field of dating.

As of right now I would make you all underdogs in the dating game — not by much, maybe a touchdown. I truly believe, though, that each and every one of you can start dominating in the field of dating.

Get on that playing field every single day. If you’re a man, go out and talk to women every single day. If you’re a woman, go out there and flirt and make yourself available every single day.

Stop just showing up, and start to dominate the field of play. The only way you are going to do that is to believe in yourself.

In the NFL you have a team behind you. You have the coach (even though the coach might have a foot fetish — sorry I had to throw that in there), and you have another player who has your back all the time. That is part of what makes NFL football such a great sport.

In the dating game, I have your back. The blog and other members of this community have your back ready to help you.

It’s time to stop feeling like you’re alone, and and the blog, other people have your back, helping you, commenting. It’s time to stop feeling like you’re alone and to start connecting with the team that’s all around you.

Connect with that team. Connect with me. We’re here to support you every step of the way.

For those of you who have thought about getting some coaching or about coming to a Bootcamp, it’s time you came and joined the team so that you have some people to support you. You don’t need to do this alone. You can do this with the help of others.

So, I want to say “Go Jets!” this weekend. I predict that the Jets are going to win that game 23-14. I actually think they are going to not just win, but dominate, in that game because they believe in themselves.

You guys always ask me if the direct approach works.

Check out Joe Namath using the direct approach with women.

That is what an armchair quarterback does. An armchair quarterback will break down a conversation they had with a woman (or a man if you’re a woman).

If you are an armchair quarterback, what you’ll do is grab the ear of one of your friends and break down the entire exchange — line by line. What happens here is that you end up breaking down and interpreting the situation based on a want or a need, and you end up skewing it in your direction.

Here’s what’s crazy about being an armchair quarterback. You can never really do what you are trying to do, and you are doing nothing that helps you.

First, you have no idea what the other person is thinking unless you talk to them. So no matter how much time you spend dissecting a conversation, you will never know for a fact whether your guesses and speculation are correct.

Second, it’s such a waste of time going through this over and over again with your friends. A real quarterback is someone who leads his team. If you watched Mark Sanchez recently in the Jets’ game against the Miami Dolphins, you saw a great example of a quarterback who was not leading his team.

His shoulders were hunched over, and he was pissed off practically the whole time. Every time he threw the ball badly, his body language was awful. He’d roll his shoulders forward, he’d pout a little bit. He is an armchair quarterback.

Peyton Manning, on the other hand, is never an armchair quarterback. He may get really pissed at himself when he screws up, but he always goes back out there and attacks the field.

If you look at Tom Brady, he is the same way. He attacks the field of play. He owns the field of play.

So what do you want to be in your life?

Do you want to be like Mark Sanchez? Do you want to be a guy who is constantly thinking and wondering about everything people say, or do you want to be more like Tom Brady and go out there, take control and attack the field of life?

A real quarterback takes full control over everything in their life, and they don’t worry about what they think someone is thinking. In reality, you never know what someone is thinking until you ask them.

A real quarterback will do that. A real quarterback will ask a woman out. A real female quarterback will go after the man she wants and not worry about whether she’s playing it right or playing it wrong.

You can’t play it right or wrong if you only play it the way you want to play it. If you’re in complete control of your life, you will play it that exact way and never waste time being an armchair quarterback.

When asked to what he attributed the Saints’ Super Bowl victory, he basically told the world that he believed in everything the Saints were doing. He believed in his team. He believed in his coach. He believed in the city of New Orleans. He believed in himself.

He said it with such passion and conviction. I am putting a YouTube clip at the end of the blog of him making this speech after the game so you can see it for yourself.

He even showed emotion in this speech. At the end of the game, he had his son (maybe ten months old) in his arms. While his son was clueless about what was going on, Drew was not.

His son looked around the stadium like any ten month old would, with a look of “What the hell is going on here?” (Well, that is what he would say if he was talking on an E*Trade commercial). With tears streaming down his face, Drew Brees held his son because, to him, celebrating that moment with his son was more important than anything.

The bottom line is that it is called passion and desire . . . and it shows. The problem that most men have when it comes down to meeting women is that they do not believe in themselves.

They don’t believe in the game plan. I see this every day. I think of myself as the coach and you guys being my team.

I can’t tell you how many times I receive an email that says something like, “You know, I tried that one thing you talked about in one of your programs, but it just doesn’t work for me.” Do you know why it didn’t work for you?

The reason it doesn’t work for you is because you don’t believe in yourself. These principles and techniques work for me every single time, and they work for everyone else who believes.

When your coach tells you what to do, do you do it or do you just over-think things? Sean Payton told Drew Brees what to do. Drew Brees believed in Sean Payton 110% and did everything he was told, because they work together.

It’s called trust. It’s called confidence. It’s called faith, not only in yourself but in the people you go to for advice.

Do you want to be more sexy to women? Become Drew Brees.

Now, I’m not talking about you throwing the ball to Marques Colston in the end zone. I’m talking about living your life full of passion and belief.

Not one time did Drew Brees ever think that the Saints did not have the better team, even when they were down 10-0. You could see it in his eyes. All he wanted was to get back on that field, because he truly believed that the best team was his team.

When you walk over to a woman, do you truly believe that you’re the greatest gift she’ll every experience? Or, do you walk over with your tail between your legs wondering if she likes you and will accept you?

Where is your mindset? Mindset is everything in life.

Without the right mindset, the Saints would not have won the Super Bowl. I talk all about that in yesterday’s blog.

They had the right mindset. They had the right beliefs.

Did the Colts believe that they were the better team? Absolutely. Do the Colts maybe deep down still believe that they’re the better team? Sure, because they believe in themselves too.

Belief is really important. It’s time that you are able to believe in yourself, and that you stop wondering what other people think of you.

Walk over to that woman, as Drew Brees would, and claim her for yourself. Walk over to her and be the most powerful version of Drew Brees that you can be.

So now, watch Drew in action as he made this great speech yesterday:

A lot of you guys see a woman, you can’t approach her and five minutes later she is gone. All the while that five minutes feels like two weeks to you.

Can you imagine the amount of anxiety that builds up over an actual two week period? Can you imagine during a period of two weeks how many scenarios you go through in your mind, how much game films you watch and how much over-analyzing you do?

A friend of mine played in the Super Bowl one year, and he said he didn’t even realize that he was actually there until the second quarter. The surreal feeling of being there was that overwhelming.

It’s kind of like getting all jazzed for that big New Year’s Eve party, only to get there and not be able to participate in the way you wanted. You knew I would turn this blog into one about mindset somehow, right?

So which team is going to win today? The team that will win today is the one that does not get into their head.

It’s the team that stays focused after a turnover. It’s the team that doesn’t second guess a play. It’s the team that doesn’t come in with a conservative game plan just because it’s the Super Bowl. Everything is magnified today — every missed field goal, every sack, and every interception.

It’s like someone telling you that you have four hours to get laid, but you’ve never even had a one-night stand before. As the clock ticks and you’re in the second half of your four hour deadline not even having approached a woman yet, each minute becomes more critical and each conversation becomes more pressure-filled.

The winner of the game will feel no pressure. Wait, I take that back. That team will feel the pressure, but they won’t let it bother them.

Football is all mental. Someone is going to get into the head of another player. Someone is going to blitz Brees and put some doubt into his mind. I’ve seen people try to do it to Peyton Manning, but it never works.

Someone is going to fumble as their team is driving towards a score. Someone is going to drop an easy pass over the middle that would have given them a badly-needed first down. The team that wins, though, is the one who forgets the interception, the missed tackle and the punt.

Do you see a theme here?

How many of you forget about a missed opportunity? How many of you get blown off by a woman you approach and are able to get over it immediately?

The team that wins today will be the one that has a short memory. Notice, too, that I say team.

Manning may get two interceptions today. Wayne may get hit and knocked to the ground. What they both will do if those things happen is forget about them and make adjustments in the next play.

I want all of you to watch the game and realize that it is not really a game just of skill. It is, in large part, a game all about mindset.

So how is the game going to end today? What will be happening when the clock runs out at the end of the fourth quarter?

It is going to end with one quarterback going to Disney World, and the other quarterback going through hell. One quarterback is going to get an ugly, oversized Cadillac, while the other one will have to be interviewed by ESPN with his hair soaking wet and that dejected look on his face.

Which team is going to win? Is it going to be Manning or Brees? Here is who is not going to win: Brett Favre or Mark Sanchez.

The Saints can win if they play a perfect game. Sean Payton has to call the perfect game, something he hasn’t done on numerous occasions this year. He tends to get frozen and conservative at times.

As for Jim Caldwell, he’s just the guy who stands on the sidelines. The real coach of that team is Peyton Manning. That is no knock on Jim Caldwell at all. Peyton Manning is just a genius.

My heart wants the Saints to win, because my love is from New Orleans. My brain and all my years watching football, however, tell me that no one is beating Manning and the Colts today.

Sometimes, though, the heart can really out-do the brain. So I am going to go out on a limb and predict that the the Saints will score 30, while Manning and the Colts will score 27.

I will, however, say this (and I feel a little like Shannon Sharpe here): The game can easily end up with the Colts beating the Saints with a score of 41-21. Having said that, I am going to predict that after 40 years in the NFL, the New Orleans Saints are due.

I may be right or I may be wrong, but in life it really doesn’t matter. It’s all about going with your heart. That is today’s lesson.

If your answer is yes, I say to you … Really?! Come on now.

The fact that you would even compare yourself to anyone else is a sign of emotional immaturity. The only person you need to compare yourself to is yourself.

It doesn’t matter what area of your life or yourself you want to be better. Ask yourself how you were one year ago compared to how you are now.

Have you grown in the last year? What have you learned? How have you progressed? What do you still need to learn, and what are you going to do to get there?

I receive emails all the time in which people will write things like, “David, I’m just not as good as my friends with women. I go out with my friend Bill and he’s so great at meeting women. I just wish I were him.”

Let me tell you something. With that attitude, you’ll never get good at it.

What you should be saying instead in your email to me is this: “God, I went out with my friend Bill the other night and it was so much fun. He’s amazing with women, and I just learned so many things from him and had such a great time! I’m so happy that he has this skill, and I look at him as kind of a role model.”

Never compare yourself to other people. Never look at somebody else and say “I wish I had as much money as my friend Tom,” or “I wish I had as good a marriage as my friend Jimmy.”

Instead, go to your friend Tom and find out how he made all that money. Learn his secrets, so you can incorporate them into your own life. If your friend Jimmy has such a great marriage, then sit down one night with him and his wife and ask them what the secret is to their happy marriage.

You do this so that you can learn from successful people. That is for what successful people are there. Successful people are there so that you can learn from them. They are not there to make you jealous.

If you are jealous of other people, you are never going to learn from them. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. If you’re happy about other people’s success, on the other hand, then you are able to sit down and ask them about how they achieved their success.

Everyone loves to share their journey, and life is all about paying it forward. If you pay it forward, then you are passing good lessons on to someone else.

So, the next time you’re comparing yourself to somebody and you experience those tinges of jealousy, remember this blog. Instead of comparing yourself to them, ask them what they did to make themselves such an expert in the field of women, marriage, money or whatever it might be.

That is what it’s all about. That’s what I’m here to do for you.

How did I get so good? Well I give you everything that I’ve ever done, and show you how I learned and overcame all of my own struggles, on my Community site and in my videos. I share everything that has worked for me.

I just want to continue to enlighten you and help you grow as people. It makes me happy to share my knowledge with all of you.

So take jealousy out of the equation, and put admiration into it. You’ll find life will become a lot easier and a lot more fulfilling.

CLICK HERE to hear me talk more about how I learned to be successful with women, money, my business, fitness and other areas.

In the NFC, I am going to stick with my preseason prediction that the Saints will make it to the Super Bowl. The score? Saints 34, Vikings 24.

Sorry Favre, but the team you should have stuck with will actually be playing the Saints in the Super Bowl. How ironic is that?

So what I am about to say next probably isn’t too much of a mystery. The Jets will win in a last second field goal, and edge out the Colts 23-20.

How did they get into field goal range? Sanchez hits Edwards for 27 yards and Edwards actually holds on to the ball.

Now let’s move onto to some talk of interaction with some other famous people…

It’s funny. I was just in Whole Foods filming a little undercover video for my Community Site members. If you don’t know about my Community Site, you can find out more HERE.

In this undercover video, Will was basically going around the store talking to people and then I would critique it. It has actually been really fun to do these undercover videos with Will.

Me critiquing him has really helped him grow socially, and I enjoy doing it. Picture Peyton Manning breaking down the “x’s and o’s” of your game or Bill Belichick designing your defense (well maybe not this year).

Anyway, while we were on this undercover shoot, we ended up in line next to actress Michelle Rodriguez (from the tv show Lost and the movie Avatar). When I asked Will if he wanted to talk to her, he said “Why not? She is a person. I can open her and talk to her just like I would anyone else.”

So he did just that. She wasn’t really all that friendly, just like some “non-famous” people are just not that friendly. She did, however, acknowledge him and talk to him a little bit and even gave him a little half-ass smile.

It’s funny. So many people are infatuated and/or intimidated by people they want to meet — whether those people are celebrities or business people. It reminds me of something that happened back in 1997 when I was living in San Diego.

I saw Tony Robbins sitting in a cafe. Everyone in the cafe was staring at him.

I called up a guy I knew, told him about Tony Robbins was there and asked him what I should do. He immediately said, “Go talk to him. When else are you going to have an opportunity to talk to Tony Robbins? Remember, everyone likes talking about themselves. Just sit down and just tell him that you are in the same business and are really curious about how he got started.”

So, I did exactly that. I talked to Tony Robbins for 45 minutes. I had a great conversation with him, and learned a lot about how he got started in his business. By the end of the conversation, I realized that Tony Robbins and I were no different.

Celebrities are only celebrities because we put them in that “celebrity box” in our own minds. They are just regular folks who happen to be acting, running a corporation or playing a professional sport.

The bottom line is that everyone likes talking about themselves. So say you see a celebrity and say “Hi, how is your day going?” They are going to answer you.

At that moment you may feel like saying, “God, I saw you in that movie and it was phenomenal! Was that your favorite role you’ve ever played?” You should say it!

When you do, that person is immediately going to start talking. I’ve done it before.

You have to realize that the universe put you there — in that place and time — for a reason. As I talk about all the time in the blog, you can learn so much from strangers. So why not approach people and talk to them?

You never know. Some of you might actually end up dating a celebrity. We might end up reading about you in US Magazine.

Others of you might run into Donald Trump and start working for him. Who knows?

It’s all networking and growing your network. Just because someone is a celebrity, doesn’t mean they can’t be in your network and doesn’t mean you can’t join theirs.

So now, check out this video to see if Will is going to end up dating celebrity Michelle Rodriguez:

Also, if you want to check out more of my “undercover in-field videos,” click HERE.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

Yesterday, however, I received the best Christmas gift of all. The Colts decided to sit Peyton Manning in the middle of the game, allowing the Jets a defeat against a third string quarterback.

It also gave the Jets an 8-7 record, putting them in charge of their playoff destiny. Next week I hope Marvin Lewis decides to sit his best players too so that the Jets can win again. It’s the Marty Schottenheimer style of coaching – get into the playoffs and lose.

My Christmas break was great. I was in New Orleans looking for a place to get married. I saw some really cool venues. If any of you know a great band or a great photographer down there, let me know. Or, if any of you are a professional photographer, let me know and perhaps we can work something out.

Over the holiday, Yahoo! published an article of mine and put it on its homepage. I really love when Yahoo! publishes my articles. It’s great. It gives me massive amounts of feedback in about a six hour time period.

It also, however, makes me realize something very sad. It makes me realize that there are a lot of people out there who hide behind their laptop and criticize people all day long.

Whenever I look at comments on any article which appears on Yahoo!, I’d say at least 50% of them are full of anger. It doesn’t matter about what each person is writing, people will find fault with it.

They are the blamers in life. They are always blaming other people for their misfortunes.

They are also very negative people. They are always looking for the opportunity to say, “Aha! I told you this wouldn’t work!”

These people often say things like this because they don’t realize they are the cause all the negative things in their own life. They are responsible for every decision they make, every mistake they make and every relationship they’ve had.

They are 100% responsible for these things. Instead of confronting themselves and taking responsibility, they hide in forums, chatrooms and message boards and blame others. Instead of going out and working on themselves, which they should do every day, they spend hours and days online blaming everyone else.

The Internet is wonderful. You can reach the masses by pressing a few buttons., but too often you realize that a lot of the members of the masses are very angry.

Sometimes I read comments about technology items — items that work perfectly fine — and yet people will find eight things wrong with them and spend their time and energy spewing their anger on a message board about them. Why?

Why waste so much time on anger? If you’re angry, it is your own fault. Take responsibility for your anger.

I have a friend who constantly bounces checks and is somewhat of a financial mess. He is always blaming Bank of America for his problems.

The bank is against him he believes. Really? Bank of America, which probably has about ten million accounts, is against him?

If you bounce checks, it is your fault. It means you don’t know how to handle your finances. It’s not that my friend doesn’t make money. He makes money and he is still a financial mess.

I can understand if someone is buying food for their family, and they bounce a check because they need food to survive. This person, however, actually makes a good living and he still blames the bank for his problems.

As we close out 2009 and head into the 10′s, isn’t it time you stopped criticizing or harping on things and started taking responsibility for yourself? You are 100% responsible for your life. That is what being an adult is all about.

For my young readers who still live at home with their parents (and maybe battle their parents on a daily basis), one day you will be 100% responsible for your life. You can start right to prepare yourself for that by seeing every decision you make as a lesson being taught to you.

I remember the first time a friend of mine got drunk and threw up. He blamed everyone, saying they forced him to drink.

We use the term “peer pressure” when we’re young. In reality, though, you are the one in the end who has to make the decision.

When you’re young, it’s harder to make an independent decision because you want to be cool and go with the flow. When you’re older, however, you just have to make up your own mind about yourself and make your own decisions.

So spend the next few days thinking about how you blame others for what has happened and how things are in your life. Start writing it all down. Write “I blame so-and-so for this” and “I blame such-and-such for that.”

Then I want you to amend all those and substitute yourself in those sentences. At the end write, “I am fully responsible for everything that happens in my life due to my choices.”

Have a great Monday!

I read my emails every day and I listen to what people are saying, but when I read between the lines what I really see is bullshit. Every day someone emails me and tells me that they can’t do something, or they won’t do something or that change is too hard.

The truth is that they don’t want to do the work because the work is too hard. A lot of people are lazy. A lot of people don’t want to do the work.

A friend of mine has been complaining for the last fifteen years about how fat he is. Every year when I go see him in Manhattan he complains about this and tells me that he needs to lose weight.

Then he’ll go on some miracle 48 hour diet expecting it to fix the problem. I tell him all the time that if he’d just go to the gym and do cardio four days a week, that he will lose weight. I tell him that if he’d just eat healthy that he would look good.

I’ve had this same conversation with him probably at least one thousand times, but he’s always looking for the miracle cure to the problem. We’re all looking for the miracle cure, which is why I see bullshit.

There is no miracle cure to losing weight. The only way to lose weight and get great muscle tone is to work out.

There is no miracle cure for anything. There is no miracle way to meet men or women unless you practice and do the things necessary to develop the muscles in your brain (your personality and inner confidence).

There are no shortcuts. So when I find a person who is looking for a shortcut or who falls for shortcuts, I usually say to them “I see bullshit.” I see bullshit every single day.

You want to be a great lover? What you need to do is practice. How do you practice? You learn, you read and you practice with people. You open yourself up and you tell the truth.

I recently had a client at a Bootcamp who is a fantastic guy, but didn’t have much sexual experience at all. I told him he needed to practice. I told him to find some great women that are attracted to him and learn how to be a great lover.

You’re never going to become great at anything unless you practice. Ask any athlete about this and they will tell you the same thing.

Do you think Lance Armstrong wanted to ride his bike 35 miles every day? No, he didn’t. Do you think Peyton Manning wants to throw the same route over and over again to Reggie Wayne in practice when he’s already done it 10,000 times already? Probably not.

I remember reading on the Internet one time that Peyton Manning had thrown something like 123 touchdown passes to Marvin Harrison. Really, though, he’s thrown over 10,000 touchdown passes to him if you count all the times he’s thrown those same passes to him in practice (so that those passes would be successful in the games).

Do you want things in your life to work for you? Then you’ve got to work at it.

Whether you want to lose weight, meet women or be a better lover doesn’t matter. Whatever you want to achieve in life, you need to go out and practice. You need to work hard.

You need to be willing to do things you’ve never done before. Otherwise, all you’re going to hear me say is, “I see bullshit.”

So when I write about what women do wrong online, I am not ignoring the fact that men are also guilty of doing wrong things online. I just like to address the sexes separately, because the mistakes men make online are either different from those women make or are “the same with a twist.”

Are you ready for the twist? Here are 8 of the most irritating online behaviors committed by men:

1. Athletic & Fit?: It’s time that all men realized that they are not Peyton Manning or Marvin Harrison. They’re not an Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer. Your body type is exactly what it is. So you really need to look in the mirror and make a determination of how you really look, because when you say “athletic and fit” in your online profile and only put up dazzling head shots of yourself, a woman is expecting a swimmer’s body to accompany that dazzling face. When what shows up instead is a dazzling face with a middle-aged body, the expression on a woman’s face is usually one of discomfort. When you post an accurate full-body photograph of yourself, you’ve already been exposed. Then you just let women make the choice if they are interested or not. It’s that simple. Lying about your body type never produces good results.

2. Stop Being A Salesman: When you contact a woman online, do not send her a cut and paste email telling her all the reasons why she should want to have a relationship with you, why you’re a gift to mankind and why she is a fool if she doesn’t answer your email. She can read your profile if she chooses. Your profile is intended to intrigue her. It’s not a sales brochure of all the reasons she needs to be in a relationship with someone she hasn’t even met yet. When you send a woman a message online, say something intriguing that will make her want to go and read your profile. Women do not want to read a cut and past email telling her how amazing you think you are. Let her find that out for herself.

3. Respect Her Age Range: If you’re a 50 year old man looking at a 25 year old woman’s profile that says she is looking for a man between the ages of 25 and 35, then you should not contact this woman. Period. You need to respect a woman’s stated age range for the men she’s looking to meet (give or take no more than five years). Nothing turns a woman off more than having her Father’s friends chasing her online. If a woman says she wants to date someone who is no more than five years older or younger than she, then she does not want to date someone twice her age. Men get visually impaired when they see pictures of beautiful women. Some men somehow think they have the right to date hot younger women half their age. Now there are some men can do this . . . but online is not the right place to try and do that. In online dating, you don’t stand a chance of dating women if you are outside their stated age range. Even if you would be able to completely dazzle a woman in person, online you’ll just be viewed as an old guy chasing younger women. If you want to meet younger women, get out of the house and dazzle them with your charm and wit – you’ll stand a much better chance.

4. Read Her Profile!: I’ve lost count of the number of women who email me saying “David, what is up with all these men who don’t read our profiles? I get so many men who wink at me when my profile clearly says ‘NO WINKS!’” Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who does not read her profile. Women are all about an emotional connection. So when you contact them, pick out something interesting in their profile and respond to it. By cutting and pasting a form letter to women without having read their profile, you are simply wasting your time. Online dating works, but you have to put a little effort into it by doing things like reading a woman’s profile so she knows you made some effort.

5. Nix The “Possession Pictures”: Before some of you get angry about this one, understand that I’ve ripped women on this same picture issue for putting up certain kinds of pictures with their friends or pictures of them from a distance. Men tend to put up pictures of their possessions – everything from their car to their Super Bowl tickets. The fact is that women don’t care about your possessions when they’re looking at an online profile. Now, granted, some women are looking for men to take care of them, but women still want to be able to see who you are when they look at your online profile. So put pictures up of you in different situations. Just be sure any picture you post is clear, up close, and current! If you have no hair, don’t put pictures up of yourself with a full head of hair. It’s just not going to work. Once again, you are who you are. There’s no need to go into salesman mode to get to meet women. There are plenty of women to meet out there – so represent yourself accurately and you’ll find them.

6. No Email Stalking: You contacted her once, and she didn’t respond. Why? Well perhaps she didn’t like what you wrote to her. Perhaps she’s busy. Perhaps there’s no reason at all. It doesn’t matter. If a woman doesn’t respond to your first email to her, email her again a week or ten days later just in case there was some snafu the first time (and so you won’t have to wonder if there was some snafu the first time). Doing this is perfectly fine. To send a woman a barrage of increasingly nasty emails for four or five days asking why she isn’t responding to your emails (or something similarly nasty), however, is behavior guaranteed to get a woman to NEVER want to communicate with you or see you. It’s frankly tantamount to email stalking. Two emails with no response equals you needing to move on to someone else.

7. Lose The One-Liner: I can’t tell you how many women have forwarded me emails they’ve received from men online whose first contact with them is something akin to a “hello” subject line with a one-line email body containing his phone number and an invitation to call him. It’s usually something like “Sally, give me a call sometime – my number is 301-555-5555.” How do men expect women to respond to this – by calling them? If a total stranger on the Internet sent you their phone number and asked you to call them sometime, you wouldn’t call them either. Women like to be intrigued and pursued a little bit. By sending this one-liner email, you did nothing to intrigue them. Get creative in your first email to women you meet online, and they’ll be offering their phone numbers to you.

8. Don’t Be An IM Stalker: Some online dating sites allow you to instant message with people you meet. This can be great! If you’ve emailed a woman several times and she’s never responded, however, do not start instant messaging that woman every time she gets online. You’re going to freak her out! Allow someone to answer you (or not answer you), but don’t become so obsessed over one person. Take a look at Yahoo! Personals. There’s TONS of people to date on there. TONS! So don’t start stalking one person with instant messages, and making them wish they would have never tried online dating in the first place. Respect when someone is not attracted to you or interested in you.

Online dating is fun. It also may be challenging at times. The best thing to do is to think of it as a party on the Internet, and don’t engage in behaviors online that you would never engage in at a real-life party.

If you want more online dating tips and/or a way to make your profile and contacts better, send me an email. I’ve told you here what to avoid doing . . . but there’s plenty you can do to make yourself a more successful online dater.