First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldn’t be looking at her profile if you don’t have a mutual friend. You’re not cruising Facebook – you’re just looking through other people’s friends.

Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you don’t know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.

And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend – because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.

But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Don’t you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, he’s got two friends! It’s ridiculous; it’s such a popularity contest.

So anyway, you go to this woman’s profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.

Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be…

I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write “hello.” What the fuck, hello? Delete.

But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you don’t want to open it, and when you do open it, you’re like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.

And then the body of the email: …that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that you’re my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and I’m hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith. ☺

You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.

She’s going to open it, giggle and laugh, and she’s going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.

You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.

Mine was great. I laid low and relaxed and had my Fantasy Football draft last night. As usual it looks like I will be the best team!!!

Today I want to share with you something that I find really wrong. A mans mother sent this to a friend of mine who is dating on Match.com

She of course forwarded it to me right away!!

From: saxxbh (xxxbh@talkmatch.com)
To:xxxfully1111 (xxxx1111@talkmatch.com)
Date received: August 31, 2008
Subject: its eric’s mom — your darling

Hi,
You may think this is odd….but my son is reluctant to search for someone special, because he’s a bit jaded of the whole dating scene. He does really want to find that special woman.

I thought I would act as my son’s matchmaker. I think you could be a good match for him.

Let me know if you would like my son (Eric) to email you some info about him and his photo. He is not on Match. Thanks.

Sandy

sanxxx
61-year-old woman
Beverly Hills, CA, US
Seeks men 58-68
Active within 24 hours

He is jaded by the whole dating scene.

Great so he does not have the guts to get out there and play the game like everyone else.

So his mommy is looking for dates. I can only imagine when you hang with this mommas boy and move in together.

Does mom come and move into the guest room?

Does she pick out all the furniture?

Does she tell him when and how to have sex?

In order to date you need to find your own dates and have a great attitude!!

What do you guys think of meddling mommies and jaded daters?