You can’t make commitments. You cancel at the very last minute. You say yes to something, but then you always tend to blow it off. Are you someone who decides you want to go to an event, but you blow it off at the last minute because no one else will go with you?

Do you know what flaking says about your personality? It shows a lack of commitment. It shows a lack of respect for other people.

I remember an event I did about a year ago. I had 35 confirmed attendees for a room that held 35 people. It was a very exclusive event.

I re-confirmed with these 35 people four times, because this special event had a waiting list of 100 people who wanted one of those 35 spots at the event. I even confirmed with all of these people just a couple hours before the event (because I know human nature and that there are people who don’t respect other people’s time).

Even with all of this, I still had seven of these people who had confirmed just a couple hours before who did not show up for the event. They did not show up because they did not respect my time.

The next day, I emailed those seven people and asked them why they did not show up. They all came up one stupid excuse after another.

The truth is that there was no real excuse. The reason they did not show up was because they neither respected me nor my time.

I received emails from many of the 100 people who were on the waiting list who didn’t get to attend, asking me how the event went and inquiring when I’d be doing another one. Every one of those 100 people really wanted to attend the event, and seven of them could have.

When you commit to someone, you are committing not only yourself but also that other person’s time. So when you flake, you are telling that person that their time is not valuable to you. You are telling that other person that they are not worth hanging out with, and that you don’t respect their time or them as a person.

Flaking says a lot about your personality. Guys ask me all the time whether they should continue to hang with a woman who has flaked on them several times. They ask me if they should continue to call her.

I always ask them, “Why would you want to call her? Why would you want to continue to call somebody who doesn’t respect your space, doesn’t respect your time, and doesn’t respect you? It shows a lack of respect for yourself.”

So do not flake when you’ve committed to something. Show up and be present. You might learn something, and you might actually have a good time.

I am talking about one of those people whose personalities transform whenever they have a couple of glasses of wine or other type of alcoholic beverage. They talk differently. They act differently. They may start talking in gibberish. You almost wonder if you’re hanging out with some kind of alien or something.

Then you think that perhaps they were just in the mood to “cut loose and go with the flow,” since they seem to turn into an entirely different person than the one you know. Each day you wonder which personality will show up to greet you.

Each day you may have a totally different person next to you than you did on the day before that. You’re afraid to take them to a cocktail party because you’re not quite sure who the hell is going to show up.

They could have one alcoholic beverage, and all of a sudden you’ll say that certain twinkle in their eyes and know that the psycho personality is about to show itself. They have their second alcoholic beverage, and the next thing you know you see your boss standing next them. You start thinking “Oh God, no!”

Then, to your surprise, your boss looks at you and says “Your girlfriend is really great. You never told me you like to be spanked in the bedroom.” From then on you are known in the office as “spank boy” all because she decided to blurt out some of your private business that was meant to be kept just between you and her.

Then when you go to have a conversation with her about that the next day, she says she doesn’t remember what she said or why she said it because she was too much under the influence of what she was drinking. The conversation is all but impossible because she has transformed back to her “regular self.”

You could also bring them with you to a function with your family. You see them have a few drinks, and the next thing you know they turn into another psychotic transformer. If you thought what happened with your boss was a nightmare, just imagine what they are saying to your mother.

I actually once dated a transformer. Whenever she was under the influence of anything, she would start speaking in some kind of mumbo jumbo gibberish language I couldn’t understand. Then one day she started saying things that scared the living hell out of me. It was at that moment I realized I was dating a transformer. We broke up shortly after that.

Have you ever dated a transformer?