You’ve heard so many nightmare stories about it. You’ve heard about children acting up. You’ve heard about the lack of intimate one-on-one time.

There are so many things that can potentially go wrong. There is no spontaneity. Everything you’ve heard about children is multiplied by twenty because this kid isn’t even yours.

You’ve also heard about the tenacious sex drive that single moms have. Because they’re with the kids five days a week and they only have two days free, in those two days they need to satisfy all their urges. They want to have sex, but they’re not about wasting time because their free time is so limited.

So here you are. You’ve met an amazing woman and you’re dating “the single mom.” This is something you’ve never wanted. Welcome to one of the toughest times of your adult adolescence, because this is the time that you are forced to grow up faster than ever before.

I remember when I was living in Boulder, Colorado. I met a great woman named Denise who was beautiful and sexy. Everything about her was perfect, except she she had a four year old kid (and a boyfriend at the time too).

I remember that I would flirt with her every time I saw her. About a year later after flirting with her and being friends with her boyfriend, she came to my office one day and told me that she wanted to take me to dinner.

We went out to dinner. At dinner she looked at me and basically told me she was in love with me. I didn’t know what to do. I just really never wanted to adopt someone else’s kid, and she knew this.

So a few weeks later, she actually dropped her kid off for a few hours at my office. It was torture. It was hell. I was exhausted. I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.

I moved to San Diego. About six months later, I actually called her and said, “Moving to San Diego and walking away from you was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life.” By that time she had met someone else.

I wasn’t ready to date a woman with a kid. I wasn’t really mature enough. I realized, though, that not doing it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

It’s true that there are going to be limitations when you date a woman who has a kid. She is still a woman, though, and she still has needs, wants and desires.

Also, it’s true that the child isn’t yours and that it is not a dream situation. In life, though, we can try to live the dream situation or we can just live life and take things as they come.

In life, everything doesn’t go according to plan. Everything doesn’t go the way you think it’s supposed to go.

So if you meet an incredible who has a child, and the child has a father who is in his or her life, then all that woman is looking for from you is to be a great man for her. When you spend time with the kid, enjoy the kid.

Kids are beautiful. Kids are great. You can learn a lot of things about yourself through the child.

She doesn’t need a substitute dad. She just needs you to be her boyfriend, to be her man.

So if you’re dating a single mother, enjoy it! This woman may have a child, but you may not be able to meet another great woman like her.

This is a great time in your life. It enables you to grow and experience things that you never thought you would experience. So, enjoy that single mother!

So at the Hollywood Bowl last night looking at the two visible stars in the sky, we got to watch Depeche Mode play a concert. It was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.

Not only was the band great, but crowd moved right along with them. Everyone stood for the entire concert.

The opening band, The Whistlers, was good too. You know The Whistlers — Peter, Paul and Bjorn? I’m just joking, but they were good.

Something that happened last night was really funny. We went to the concert with another couple. They brought so much food, it was incredible.

We also learned something about Sonja’s friend Angie. We learned that she always has an emergency stash of almonds in her purse.

Do you know people like this, who always have some kind of emergency food — raisins, nuts or trail mix or something — in their bag? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had emergency food in my bag.

I mean, there always is a convenience store nearby if you really need something. I guess if you were trapped on a desert island, then having the emergency food stash is smart. Or, maybe, if there’s an earthquake that knocks all your food on the floor and your dog eats everything but the emergency nuts, then it’s a good idea too.

Really, though, there are just some people who are going to make wonderful mothers . . . because a good mother always has an emergency bag of almonds. My mother always had an emergency Valium. So whenever we were hungry on a road trip, my Mom would say “There’s no food” in a not-so-nice tone of voice and then pop the emergency Valium. So, clearly, some people are better prepared to be mothers than others.

On the subject of children, I have a question. Is it just me, or does it seem like everywhere you look women are pregnant?

That brings up another children-related topic I wanted to talk about today. . . I truly believe there should be a DPB (“Department Of Better Parents).

You know, you’d go in there and tell the child experts why you want to have kids. You’d take a test to see if you can parallel park with kids in the back seat. Then the child experts would determine whether you should become a parent.

I think this is a great idea, because I’ve got to tell you that there are a lot of people who wouldn’t pass if they had to get a parent’s license. I don’t think it’s right to have a child just because you want one.

I want a boat, but I don’t think I’ll take care of it. I also want an old car, but I think it will frustrate me and break down too much.

Children are people, not things or possessions. They are not put on this earth so you can relive your frustrated childhood through them, and be made to do all the things you wanted to do as a kid. You need to embrace that, and allow them to be the people they want to be.

I think having a child is not a right. It’s a gift. It’s a gift for which you have to be ready. You have to be someone who embraces that gift. You know, the emergency almond woman from last night would definitely be a good one.

I’ve been on a journey for the last couple years learning about self-love. Self-love is one of the most important things you can ever have, because you will never be able to truly love someone else until you learn to truly love yourself.

The reason this is true, is because until you learn to truly love yourself there will always be a wall up around you. There will always be something the prevents you from giving yourself freely to someone else.

A lot of us give of ourselves freely to our animals. Some of us become crazy cat people, while others become crazy dog people. A lot of us can give freely of ourselves to our children.

Many of us have trouble giving freely of ourselves to another adult of the opposite sex, however, because we are so caught up in protecting our emotions. Until you are able to give yourself freely to somebody, though, you will never experience love.

You actually may be able to experience some depth of love, but you’ll never experience powerful love. We all deserve to experience powerful love.

The personal journey of self-love I’ve been on has been unbelievable. What is most unbelievable about it, however, is that it all stemmed from a “Brady Bunch Greg Brady falling off my surfboard in Hawaii” moment.

I think there is an actual mark on the surfboard showing where I fell. I was truly channeling Greg Brady and his Hawaiian surfing episode: I went down in the reef, I had the tiki idol necklace around my neck, Marsha and Cindy were yelling from the beach . . . Ok, maybe not that last part. In all seriousness, though, something did happen to me in Hawaii.

Hawaii is a very spiritual place. When I was surfing in Hawaii this past summer staring at a waterfall, I noticed that if you lined up the surfboard correctly you’d be surfing directly into the waterfall and the mountains.

There is a lot of energy in Hawaii, both spiritual and emotional energy. For reasons unknown, although probably because I was trying to show off to people on the beach, I decided while surfing to jump off my board into the shallow water . . . and ever since that day my hip has been aching.

Once I went deeper into it, I realized that I was on an emotional journey to have and experience the most incredible love I ever wanted: the love of myself. I realized that until I was able to do that, I would not be able to meet and experience someone amazing.

The “I Want More” blog I wrote was all about the feelings and emotions you have for someone that are so amazing that you just constantly desire more. A man named Joe (Mr. “DarkEnergy” himself in fact) posted a comment to that blog asking me how you can tell the difference between the feeling I described in the blog and a simple “crush.”

My answer to Joe was that you want to have a crush . . . just a crush that lasts forever. That’s the magic of love. The magic of love is having a crush that lasts forever and ever, but also knowing and being able to do the necessary work to nurture that relationship to allow it to go the distance.

I want a crush that lasts forever. I want to look at someone and always think they’re the most beautiful person in the world. I want every kiss to be magical.

The only way to make that happen and to make a crush last forever, though, is to be totally conscious about the other person. You need to find someone who is effortless to be with and with whom doing the right this is easy.

The only way to make a relationship like this last is to have both of you want to make it last. You both must recognize the gifts. You both also must recognize your relationship to be comprised of two souls which connect on a deep level. Most importantly, you must have done enough work on yourself to realize that such a connection doesn’t happen every single day.

You may still have more work to do on yourself, but we all need to be working on ourselves every day. If you do and you have already found a crush, the great thing is that you have the other person to support you, accept you and embrace you for everything you are working on about yourself.

Granted, every relationship has a honeymoon phase, but I’ve seen couples who are still “ga-ga” about each other after seven or eight years. They may no longer be having sex seven days a week, but when they make love it’s still absolutely amazing. It is still so amazing because they are still making love to someone on whom they have a crush, someone with whom they’ve created a level of comfort where they know each other on every level and have given every part of themselves to each other.

So all of you should be looking to have a crush on someone, the kind of crush that lasts forever. The only way to make a crush last forever, though, is to first have a crush on yourself. Start getting a kick out of yourself. Start enjoying yourself.

More importantly, get on the same page as someone else’s soul, and let your souls connect. When two souls are connecting, you are going to have a crush . . . and a crush far greater than the kind you had at age sixteen.

Over the age of thirty, you truly know that when you find this it is a gift being presented to you that doesn’t happen every day. You are emotionally mature enough to embrace it and have fun with it.

For all of you who don’t believe in the magic of a crush, you are missing out on something. For those of you who still want to find someone on whom you have this “forever” kind of a crush, the only way to start is to first have a crush on yourself. Remember that nobody can have a crush on you unless you love yourself.