Yeah, I know what you’re thinking right now, “Another blog post from David that has nothing to do with dating.” How do you know? How do you know this has nothing to do with dating, because—let me tell you something––it can have a ton of things to do with dating.

First off, when you sell something on Craigslist, you never know who’s going to come over and buy it from you. It could be love at first sight. Secondly, when you buy something on Craigslist, you never know who you’re buying from. She could be super hot, maybe she likes clothing swap parties, and the next thing you know, you guys are swapping clothes in your bedroom after meeting on Craigslist.

Yes, I said it. You can meet people on Craigslist. And it doesn’t have to be one of those cheesy Casual Encounters ads either.

But, I digress.

So, I’m selling my iMac on Craigslist and a guy writes back and tells me that he’s paying in CASH. Uh, well, what do you think we’re accepting on Craigslist? Credit cards? PayPal? Money order? Traveler’s checks? Of course you’re going to pay me in cash, dude—it’s Craigslist!

People are very funny. What, am I supposed to be impressed because you’re paying in cash? It’s just a way of negotiating. When I negotiate, I always tell them that I will come over with (usually much less than) what they’re asking for right now—no hassle, nothing. “It’s $500? Okay, I’ll be over there in 20 minutes with $400. Cash.”

That’s how you negotiate. You tell them you’ll be there in 20 minutes because they’re already dreaming about the money. And, they already know where the money is going. Maybe they’re getting a new computer. Or maybe it’s the Craigslist in LA and they have to pay their ridiculous rent for the month. Either way, they’ve already got that money spent in their mind and it makes the deal go so much smoother for you, the buyer.

So that’s the key to negotiating on Craigslist. And as for dates, well, you never know who’s on the other end.

Share with us today if you have any Craigslist stories. Any people that you’ve met on Craigslist via putting up an ad or if you absolutely fell in love with the person who you bought your car from or your new Mac computer.

You never know.

And I was thinking to myself, how should I address this person? Is he a “Hey” guy or a “Hi” guy?

All my e-mails always start with something like, “Hey Joe,” “Hey Amy,” “Hey Tom.”

But some people are not “Hey” people. Some people are a little more formal, and should be addressed with “Hi Tom,” “Hi Mary,” “Hi Joe”—that type of thing.
So I was thinking that when you send an e-mail, you really need to know the type of person you’re writing to, because a “Hey” may turn off a Hi person, and a “Hi” may turn off a Hey person.

A lot of people also have these signatures at the end of your e-mail. Some people have a “Thanks”, some of you are “Talk Soon,” and some of you write “Bye for now.” Some people write, “Regards.”

But the thing is, we wouldn’t actually refer to each person we write to with a “Talk Soon,” a “Regards,” or a “Hey There.” So many of us are not personal at all in our e-mails. We’ve got a “Hey” for everybody, a “Talk Soon” to everybody, or a “Thanks” to everybody.

Why don’t we kind of just kind of sign off and sign on the way we would in person? You don’t walk up to every single person and go, “Hey,” “Hi,” and end every conversation with a “Talk Soon,” “Regards,” “Thanks.”

We’ve gotten really lazy, and we basically try to take every shortcut with technology. I guess sometimes shortcuts aren’t good. Maybe it’s time to personalize things just a little bit more.

Remember the good old days and how life was back in the 60′s, 70′s and 80′s? Things were done more on intuition. There wasn’t nearly as much information out there.

Nowadays you can get millions of different pieces of information and opinions about anything and everything, from how to get rid of a hangnail to how to raise a child — and have that at your fingertips in mere seconds. It used to be that if you wanted to know how to get rid of a hangnail, you would ask people you know how they have gotten rid of theirs. You used to learn how to raise a child by asking other people, and by using a lot of your own intuition.

Now with the Internet, you can always find somebody who will agree with you and your opinion on any topic. You can always find people who are on your side, and find stats that back it up.

The question nobody ever asks is from where these stats come. People assume if they see a statistic online, that is must just be true and accurate. People are funny that way.

Addicted To The Internet

If someone online says that 33% of people are healthier because they did x and y, most people just believe it. Nobody seems to dig deeper to find out the source of these statistics.

Maybe someone is just plain making it up. Maybe it is just a bunch of marketers manipulating data so you will believe in their product. Maybe it is just someone who is very opinionated and passionate about something, so they make up a statistic to validate it.

We used to be about instinct. Now we can’t even go to the bathroom without first looking on the Internet to find out the best way to do it.

Everything I teach you guys to do involves you learning to trust your instinct. It involves learning how to really understand yourself and trust yourself in every situation.

Life is really interesting. Friends of mine who had a kid got an iPhone App that allows them to check on their kid when they are away from home. These people don’t even trust anyone anymore. Why? They saw a story on television about nannies abusing kids which made them paranoid.

We have lost the innocence we used to have as a society because we don’t trust people like we used to in the past. We have come a long way in a lot of areas, but sometimes it is better to go back to your natural instinct and start trusting what resonates with you as a person.

That is what I teach. I teach you to trust your instinct and your gut, so you can live a fuller life as a less paranoid person who has not been affected by information overload.

I’m down to earth. What exactly does that mean?

Does that mean that they walk around with dirt on them 24/7? Does that mean that they like to roll around on the ground so that they can be really close to the Earth? Does that mean that they like to cover themselves with sand when they go to the beach so that they can feel the Earth?

Down to earth. I love that term. It seems to be the most abused term on Internet dating sites. Everybody puts it in their profile, especially women.

Do you know what I think when someone says in her profile that she’s “down to earth?” I think, “Glad that you’re down to earth. That sounds like a lot of fun. So when a picks you up, should he bring a shovel and a pail and a hoe, and be ready to do some gardening?”

Is that term supposed to mean that you’re real? I think sometimes we use generic terms to describe ourselves and it leaves things “iffy.” I mean, if every other person online describes themselves as “down to earth,” does that mean that 50% of these people are exactly the same? I think we need clarification for this term — down to earth.

A related term I also saw way too much on women’s profiles was the description, “I am real.” Really? I’m so glad you told me, because I thought you were a zombie or a robot.

I don’t get it when people write, “I’m a real person.” Everyone is a real person. Is that really the way you describe yourself, as a ‘real person?’ Well, great. Now I feel like I REALLY know you.

Another thing people say is, “I’m easy going.” Really? About everything or just about certain things, because no one is easy going about everything. There is always a trigger point on something for everyone.

When it comes to online online, I think people need to stop using all these cliches to describe themselves. It doesn’t tell people anything about you. Plus, when you look at fifty profiles and you describe yourself the exact same way 25 other people do, how are you ever going to stand out?

1. Take Action And Keep The Momentum Going: One of the biggest things I stress to people when they are dating online is to make a meeting happen with people you meet as soon as possible. Don’t write emails back and forth for two weeks. Don’t wait ten days before you will give someone your phone number. If you’re interested in someone, then you need to remember that online dating is a momentum based thing. The person in whom you are interested may be corresponding with six, seven or ten other people. You want to be the one that sticks out among the group. You want to be the person who is full of action. So immediately, the minute after you have exchanged emails twice, get a phone number, talk on the phone and set up a meeting. Set up something very simple. Go meet for a cup of coffee. Take a walk with your dog. Pick something really easy.

Online dating is dating by the numbers. So don’t go back and forth forever with someone via email or phone before you have your first meeting. You don’t want to do that. If you’re emailing back and forth with someone and enjoying it, then get on the phone with them because it is all about momentum. If you continue to just email back and forth you are going to lose the momentum.

2. Real Chemistry Happens In Person: A problem in online dating is that most of the time you are not going to have the chemistry with someone in person that you do over the phone or via email, so you always want to keep your first meeting simple. You want the meeting to happen quickly, and you want to make sure that you both drive to the place you’re meeting so you are able to leave when you want to leave. Once you decide to meet, pick a place like a coffee shop or an activity like taking a walk where you both of you can come to meet each other. Never have dinner on a first meeting.

Chemistry is all about the voice and the physical presence, so never engage in these ongoing email marathon sessions with someone before you meet them. It is likely to get you disappointed once you do finally meet up with that person. You need to realize that the faster you get together for that first meeting, the faster you are going to find out whether or not this is someone who is really worth your time. Just like with the emails, don’t spend two hours talking on the phone with someone you haven’t yet met in person. Remember that you haven’t met them, and when you speak on the phone talk only long enough to establish that you potentially have some chemistry before you set up your first meeting. Once again, it is worth it for me reiterate the point that most of the time you will not have the chemistry with someone in person that you do with them on the phone.

3. Put The Right Kind Of Photos On Your Profile: The minimum number of photos you should post with your online profile is five, and every single one of those photos must be current. Of those five pictures, three of them need to be full body shots. Your photographs on your online profile need to be such so you are clearly visible in them. Don’t post any of these ridiculous kind of photos where you are so far off in the distance you are totally unrecognizable, but the picture shows you off in the distance skydiving or something. Don’t post pictures of you from a distance surrounded by ten of your friends at a dinner table. Each of your photos need to clearly show who you are and what you’re all about. All of the photos you post also must have you in them. Don’t post photos just of your dog or of a waterfall you saw during your last trip to Hawaii. Your online profile is not a travel agent brochure. Instead, show clear pictures of you with your dog or on your vacation in Hawaii.

4. Look Within Your Area First: Another tip to increase your chances for a successful transition from online into real life is look in your own geographic area first. Don’t send winks to people who live 3,000 miles away from you. It is ridiculous. Search within your own geographic area. Try limiting your search at first to a twenty-five mile radius. Now, don’t do that for one day then declare there to be no one in your area to meet so as to give yourself permission to re-expand your search area. Instead, keep looking within that same mile radius. If you live somewhere and there’s not a lot of women there or a lot of men there, respect other people’s boundaries.

Also, don’t waste time trying to connect with someone who says they are looking to meet someone who lives within a ten mile radius of where they live when you live 500 miles away from them. Don’t waste other people’s time, just as you would not want someone wasting yours. Successfully dating online is all about being as time efficient as possible. If you do that, you are going to really be able to go out and meet more people. So respect other people’s boundary lines.

5. Remember to “Reapply”: When dating online, it is important to remember that going online to meet someone is very much like going to a giant singles bar. So just because you contacted someone a month ago (or two or three months ago) and they did not respond, does not necessarily mean they are not or would not be interested in you. There are a million reasons why they may not have responded to you the first time. They may have been dating someone else. They may have had their profile online but not have been checking it at all. They may simply have gotten a flood of emails the day you sent yours and your message got “lost in the shuffle.” So, in online dating it is perfectly okay to “reapply” if you are still interested in someone who did not respond to you.

There are a few important keys to remember when reapplying online. First, do not ever reapply with the exact same email as the one you originally sent. Type something different and something fun. Do not reference the fact that the person did not respond to you the first time. Also, only reapply once. Do not take the idea of “reapplying” as a justification to start online stalking someone.

6. Make Your Contacts Real Conversations: Online dating is about starting the conversation. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s about starting a conversation. So before you contact someone, make sure you read their profile. It’s very important to begin communication with someone you see online by addressing something substantive you liked or noticed about their profile. Remember that when that person (and ostensibly all people who put up a profile) wrote their profile, they did so to communicate certain pieces of information about themselves to you. That is, they gave you information so they could start a conversation with you.

So, imagine what someone is like when you read their profile. Read it aloud so you can actually hear their voice tone, and then take the first couple of questions that come into your mind and send them to that person. It will make for the start of a real conversation with them so you can see if they are someone you want to get to know better and to meet.

These tips will really make your online dating experience far more rewarding, far better, and will help you start to finally meet people from online that you want to get to know in the real world. It’s about being different, and not being the same as everyone else who is online looking to meet someone.

Many times people who are dating on the internet are absolutely terrified to see the person in real life. You never know if the person is going to look like their photo. You hope that they do, but many times they don’t.

I have a rule of thumb about internet dating: pick out the worst photo of the four or five that they post, and assume that this is how they actually look. If they look any better than their worst photo, then that’s great. That’s better than being disappointed!

It’s tough getting really excited about somebody on the internet and then meeting them to find that they look nothing like their photo. So I’d like to introduce a new form of dating to you: drive-by dating.

Here it is: you met somebody on the internet, maybe you’ve chatted on the phone with them for ten or 15 minutes, but you’re not quite sure about them. Perhaps they’ve intrigued you a little bit, but you don’t really know yet.

So what do you do? You download one of their photos, you print it out and tape it to your dashboard. Make an agreement that the two of you are going to drive by each other and check each other out.

Pick a busy street – for example, in LA I live near San Vicente Boulevard – and then plan to drive by each other in an intersection. If you like each other, you make a U-turn and you hang out! If you don’t like each other, you just keep driving along.

It’s drive-by dating! It’s the hottest new thing. Now you don’t have to invest any time in a coffee shop talking to each other, and you certainly don’t have to waste any time at dinner swapping life stories that you’ve already told 100 other people.

In this way you can figure out if you are attracted to somebody. It always comes down to the carnal: are you attracted to each other or not?

So I think that from now on, when it comes down to internet dating, instead of coffee, suggest a drive-by date! Make a decision of where you are going to drive by each other. Text each other: “I’m at the intersection of San Vicente and Barrington, and I’m about to drive by you.”

You wave, you look at each other and you do a Siskel and Roeper: thumbs up or thumbs down. If it’s thumbs up, make a U-turn and go meet at Starbucks. If not, no time wasted!

So there you have it. That’s how I think you should conduct your internet dating. It’s called drive-by dating.

Todays video is the truth behind what women really think when they see you on the street.

Have a great Saturday!