1.Not Reading A Woman’s Profile: Of all the mistakes guys make, this is one of the biggest. Guys will not read a woman’s profile, then proceed to email her anyway — even if they are not in her age range and don’t like any of the same things she likes. It’s amazing how many men will just look at a picture of a woman and send her an email, when that woman would be 100% not interested based on what she said she’s looking for in her profile. When you do that, you’re just wasting somebody’s time.

2.Being A Winker: If you actually read women’s profiles online, you would see that a lot of women request not receive winks or say flat out that they don’t respond to winks. Since a lot of men online are very lazy, though, they will go online and send out a hundred winks in a night hoping that one woman will respond. When you do that, do you know what that tells a woman right from the get-go? It tells her first that you didn’t read her profile, and second that you’re pretty desperate. Winkers are desperate. They don’t care who responds; they just want someone to respond.

3.Sending A Generic or “Cut ‘N Paste” Emails: Sending just a generic or “cut ‘n paste” email when you haven’t read a woman’s profile is one of the biggest turnoffs to women online. Guys will send an email to a hundred woman saying something like, “Hey, you and I are really a match. Read my profile and check it out, and let me know what you think. Looking forward to hearing from you.” When a woman reads this, she knows you have put no effort whatsoever into it. She knows it is a generic email, and she is not going to respond to it.

4.No Follow-Up: Lack of follow up is another huge mistake men make online. A man will send an email to a woman, she will send one back to him, and then he will wait and not respond to her email right away. He doesn’t follow up until three weeks later when he’ll email her and give some kind of excuse about being really busy at work. Do you know what a woman thinks when this happens? She thinks, “Well he obviously emailed ten people, and I was number four on his list. He was talking to three others, they blew him off, so no he’s decided he wants to go out with me.” You don’t make her feel important that way. If you email a woman, you had better follow through with it — both in terms of returning her emails and asking her out on a date. Women want men that act like men, have a plan and follow through it.

5.Commenting On Her Picture: Commenting on a woman’s picture shows her that you didn’t read her profile. If you write, “Boy, you look really great in that dress” or “Wow, you look hot in that bathing suit” it shows a woman that you are solely a visual guy. Doing it is too overtly sexual right from the get-go. It turns women off. Women want you to not only read their profile, but to comment on something she says in it. It shows them that something in their profile connects with you emotionally in some way.

6.Talking About Yourself In Your First Email: Talking about yourself in your first email (and first contact) with a woman and before you even ask her a question is a big mistake. It looks to a woman like you just cut and paste part of your profile into an email and sent it to her. What you are doing when you do this is being a “lister” — what I call men who have to list all their good qualities to sell themselves to a woman. What you should be doing in that first email is to flirt and get to know her better.

Online dating is a lot of fun, but you need to look at it differently. You need to look at your first contact with a woman as if you were meeting her live and in person.

If you look at it this way, you would never send a woman a list of all your good qualities or make a comment about how hot she looks in her swimsuit on the first conversation.

Think that way, and you may have greater success online and not turn any women off.

Get My Secrets Of Online Dating Now!

I’m going to try a new format on the blog on Tuesdays. It’s going to be a question and answer day.

So every Tuesday, I will answer two questions (one from a man and one from a woman usually). I regularly receive a ton of email asking me for advice. For all of you who want coaching, I’ve got a 3 Email Coaching Package that allows me to answer your emails in great depth.

A lot of people feel they can email with their questions and expect an answer. Unfortunately, and although I’m able to read every email, I am just not able to answer every email because I have prioritized my time for my clients, subscribers, and for providing amazing content for everyone in my blogs.

So starting today I am going to answer two questions on the blog every Tuesday. Whose questions will I answer? Well in order to submit a question to be possibly selected, you will need to sign up for my newsletter list (which you can do in the blue box in the upper right hand corner of any page of my site).

Here are our first two questions:

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**Reader Question 1**
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Hey David,

I was wondering if you could tell me how to get a sex buddy, cause I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Should I just be honest with the next woman I flirt with?

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**My Answer to Reader Question 1**
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Oh, how to get a sex buddy . . .

First, should you be honest with the next woman with whom you flirt? No! Let me tell you something. If you go and flirt with a woman and immediately say “Hey, how you doin’? Listen I am looking for a sex buddy – let’s have sex today.”

You don’t get a sex buddy that way. You’re not 100% open from the second you open your mouth. She’s going to think you just want to have sex.

Here’s how you get as sex buddy. You date. You go out on dates. You find out for what a woman is looking.

The when you are dating and meeting lots of women, one woman may say to you “I’m really not looking for anything too heavy right now” to which you can say “You know what? Neither am I.” That’s how you get a sex buddy.

When you’re on a date with a woman, you need to ask her what her intentions are and what she wants. Ask her what she is looking for right now in her life. Ask her if she is looking for a relationship or looking just to have fun. If a woman’s in a “have fun” stage, you can tell her you’re also looking to have fun and are interested in “no strings.”

No matter what, though, a woman has to feel comfortable with you for you to be her sex buddy. So you can’t just go and flirt with them to bring up the sex buddy issue. You have to get to know them.

There is no shortcut here. You still have to go out with them and find out who they are.

If you want a sex buddy, just be more fun on the date. Be more fun in the beginning. Once again, even if you’re being more fun on the date, she still might only be interested in a relationship. So you always need to learn for what a woman is looking.

Women are a lot more honest about what they want than you think. If you’re honest with them on that first date and you tell them you’re not looking for anything too heavy, they’re probably going to tell you if they are interested in that same thing. In that case, you’ll have a sex buddy.

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**Reader Question 2**
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David,

I am happy you wrote the article for tips for women about online dating, however, I have a question about the part when you speak of women when they receive a contact from men, to get right back to them. Isn’t that a double standard?

I hear from so many men, friends, clients etc… that if they are interested in a woman they may go out on a first date, they may not call for a few days to a week, kind of like testing them in a way, to see if their needy etc. There are many women out there professionally speaking as well that feel if your interested don’t play games! As that leads to more games and mistrust.

It shouldn’t be a thing well if this one or that one doesn’t call you back kind of thing, it’s just down right rude on both sides not to be upfront and honest with one another. The point is, people know pretty much from the get go, if it’s going to go or if it isn’t, it’s such a shame that the dating scene has gotten so out of hand where people have to try and read peoples minds, and assume things, then move on.
 
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**My Answer to Reader Question 2**
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Thanks for the great question!

Here’s the thing. I believe in not playing games. I think games are a waste of time.

I believe that dating is about momentum. I believe that dating is about getting to know each other.

If a man calls you on a Monday, I would call him back within 24 hours. If you call a man and he doesn’t get back to you for four or five days, he’s a game player. Think about your dating life as you conduct your business life. Would you ever leave a client hanging for four or five days because you got busy?

We’re all busy in our lives, but if you want to get to know somebody then you need to show interest, and you need to build that interest. So treat other as you would expect to be treated, and the real relationships will surface.

A lot of women think that if they call a guy back right away – if they call within 24 hours — and a guy doesn’t return their call that it was because they called back too fast. They think that maybe if they hadn’t called him or waited longer to call him back that it would have worked out with him.

There’s no way to motivate someone into a relationship . . . at least not a real adult relationship.

Hope these answers helped everyone today! If you have questions you would like me to answer, get yourself on my newsletter list so you can submit them to me. Then keep checking the blog every Tuesday to see if I might have answered YOUR question!