So you are out on a date with somebody, it goes fairly well. Pretty soon, you’re waiting for them to call you back and you become obsessed about that person. You call up all your friends to try to figure out what you did right, what may have gone wrong, when they might call you, or why didn’t they haven’t called you yet.

“How come they didn’t call! What did I do wrong?”

And then all of sudden it’s six weeks later, you’ve been talking about this person constantly, and you haven’t dated anybody else since that date. You basically just wasted six weeks of your dating life.

Here is the deal: if you go out on a date and your date never calls you back afterwards––it’s over. Once it’s over, there’s no reason to think about it ever again. That person was not your dream person, that person was not your soul mate, that person was not the person you really wanted them to be since you went out on that date.

What you need to do is realize that all of that time that you’re wasting being obsessed about somebody you once dated and who doesn’t feel the same way about you is really just time wasted not going out and meeting anybody else. It’s time wasted not living your life the way you want to; time wasted on somebody that doesn’t give a damn about you; time wasted on a person who won’t even give you the time to call you back.

That’s the reality of it. This person who you’re obsessing over did not care enough about you to call you back. So now what do you do with that? You stop thinking about that person, you stop obsessing over that person, and you start realizing that there are so many more people out there. The world is abundant. There is an inventory of amazing single people to date everywhere you look.

I’m tired of the complaining, I’m tired of the obsessions.

Now is the time for you to get real with yourself, and stop the complaining, the whining, and start reengaging with the people around you.

Look at your life right now. Look at the people you’ve dated that didn’t work out. Look at how many hours and how many days you’ve obsessed about those people and think to yourself, “Why did I do it? Why did I drive everybody crazy talking about it?”

Stop.

. . .

It’s 2012. You’re all growns up now. Let the past be the past. Look around you and be grateful for all the attractive people you’re going to be dating soon.

Now get out there and engage life. Stop obsessing and get into your best relationship yet.

You deserve it.

PS. Whatever you do, don’t be this guy.

They’ll walk around and go, “cracker, cracker, cracker”. Whenever they’re learning arithmetic, they’re always counting, “one, two, three, four, five”. Whenever they’re learning the ABC’s, they’re always singing the ABC’s. Kids do this throughout their entire life in order to learn so that they may act subconsciously and naturally after that.

How come, as an adult, we stop doing it that way? Even though, as an adult, we tend to act like children—we really do.  We complain like a toddler.  We basically sit there and whine.

“Ah man, I went out and approached some women today and it just didn’t work. I’m never doing this again!”

We literally act like children when it comes to dealing with our relationships, and I don’t mean that in a positive way. We act like the two-year-old toddler that we just don’t want to deal with anymore.

Life is repetition. Life is all about repetition. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. You can recreate yourself in so many different ways, but you’ll need to apply that same childlike obsession in order to do it.

I want you to check out today’s video. It’s all about how you can literally recreate yourself like artwork on a wall.

I’ve also got a new book out called Naked. It’s a passion project of mine. It’s about really recreating yourself everyday and formulating new habits, so you’re able to become 100% open, raw and vulnerable and not care about what anyone else thinks.

Obsession is something that is not very healthy at all, especially when it comes to meeting the opposite sex. So many guys are so obsessed with the approach or so obsessed with trying to figure out what to say.

Women get obsessed with a lot of different things also. Some get obsessed and fixated when it comes to why the date went wrong and what the guy must be thinking and why the relationship is not working out and how it could not work out.

Today’s video is all about obsession. I think you’ll enjoy it because it’ll finally open up your eyes to what obsession is all about.

If you’re ready to stop obsessing and start having a healthy, productive, amazing dating life, I suggest you buy my book, Naked.

It’s Q&A day on the blog today and we have two more great subscriber questions that I’m going to answer here. Remember, if you are on my subscriber list and want to submit a question for me to answer in future blogs, simply respond to any one of the newsletter emails with your question.

If you’re not on my newsletter subscriber list and would like to be, all you need to do is go to the blue box at the upper right hand corner of each page of this website and submit your name and email. It’s that simple! Then as soon as you receive your first newsletter via email, you can submit your question!

So, without further ado, here are today’s questions!

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**Reader Question 1**
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David,

I have a rather unique question that I think you would have a helpful response about. There is an obvious attraction between my former/future professor and I. It was a big uncomfortable step, but I actually worked up the balls to ask her out a few months ago, and we ended up going out twice more afterwards.

While there is an attraction between us, I find myself always holding back because of the age difference (I’m 23, she’s 30) and the superiority she has in school. It’s very difficult for me to do a complete role reversal when I see her outside of school and be the one in charge and leading, even though I am CERTAIN that is what she wants. Can you suggest any possible ways I can get over the age and superiority issues and just be as I would around any other women?

Your advice is much appreciated. Thank You, R.

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**My Answer To Reader 1′s Question**
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Thanks for your question R!

Listen, you’ve got this age difference between the two of you. How you feel about the age difference is all in your head. If she’s attracted to you and you are attracted to each other, then what does the whole superiority thing matter? If she’s okay with the age thing, then it really doesn’t make a difference. The thing is, though, that you are giving her all the power.  You’re giving her the superiority. If this woman is interested in you then she’s interested in you.

So go take her out and have fun like you would with any other woman. Don’t bring up the age difference. Don’t bring up the superiority issue. Don’t bring up the fact that she was your professor.

Just take her out and have fun like you would on any other date, and let her get to know you in that situation.  She can make up her own mind. If you go out with her feeling like she’s superior or some supreme being from another planet, then of course it’s going to be uncomfortable and won’t work.

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**Reader Question 2**
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Hi David,

Over the weekend I  attended a wedding to my aunt in which I was the best lady. I suddenly developed feelings for the best man on a Saturday morning at the church service. David, you know I love him so much that I would spend sleepless nights thinkming about him. But he doesn’t know I love him. All I know is that he’s been avoiding me, we had never remained together in the same place, he would leave if the person we are with leaves.

One thing I know is that I can’t tell him I love him. I have just recieved an sms from him telling me that he was still tired thou he had an honourable weekend. He told me I looked so beautiful. 

My question to you is, “How do I make him tell me that he loves me?”

Isabella

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**My Answer To Reader 2′s Question**
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Isabella,

How do you make someone tell you that he loves you? You’ve got to be kidding me. This is one of the most unhealthy emails I’ve ever received. I’m sorry that I have to say that, but anyone who has this type of mindset needs deeper help. I’m not talking about just from a dating coach, but perhaps in terms of some kind of therapy.

You don’t make someone love you. You don’t look for ways to make someone tell you that they love you. First, a guy needs to ask you out on a date. Second, you need to have chemistry and get to know each other. To try to get someone to make a guy love you is just wrong. It’s wrong from every angle.

This is like some fantasy in your head. Where is your reality? You don’t even know this person, but yet you say you love him so much? You don’t know what he is all about. He was avoiding you. You’ve never remained together in the same place. So how do you love this person? It’s a fantasy in your mind.

Isabella, you’ve got to start living in reality here. What do you want out of life? Do you want to have real connections with men, or are you just living what I call the ultimate fantasy? You barely meet someone and you have this beautiful and perfect picture of him in your mind that doesn’t really exist.

Isabella, go out and meet men, have some fun, and let a man fall in love with you for who you are. Don’t ever try to make a man tell you that he loves you. This totally reminds me of Glenn Close the bunny boiler in Fatal Attraction.

I just don’t like to put my personal life out there. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.

But I want to talk today about not caring. So many of you care too much and I’m getting WAY too many emails about how much you care about this one person who blew you off.
I’ve written about this several times, but for some reason or another, I just feel the urge to write about it again. I find that many of you put all of your eggs in one basket and you just care TOO MUCH.

About 2 months ago I went out with a new woman I had met. I’d say that the first hour of the date was mediocre at best. It just wasn’t really that much fun. But the second hour of the date was much more interesting and I actually became quite intrigued by her as the second hour progressed.

So at the end of the date, I did my usual “walk away” – it’s rare that I’ll kiss someone I still don’t really know. I like to build the desire up a bit – those of you that have heard my Mastery Series and have read the blogs know that walking away is something that I do to create more desire and passion – not only in her, but in myself as well.

I sent her a great email the next day and told her what a pleasant surprise the date turned out to be. Email was how we had been corresponding back and forth. I told her that I had had no expectations, but I had ended up really enjoying the evening. And then I wrote something else very cute: “hope you have a great weekend, enjoy the ice cream that you were talking about,” because she was really obsessed with this ice cream she was going to have.

She never responded.

I was sitting in my office with my assistant and some other people, and they asked me, “wow, man, aren’t you bummed?” I responded, “no, not at all.” I don’t care. Why should I care?

I went out, spent two hours with someone, we had a nice night and got to know each other a little bit, and I guess that the chemistry just wasn’t there for her. That’s fine! It didn’t ruin my day or bum me out.

I didn’t email all of my friends obsessing about it, asking what I did wrong or lamenting about why she didn’t email me back. I didn’t overanalyze every second of the date, thinking that I shouldn’t have said this, or that I should have said that. I just let it go.

This is what I think so many of you out there have never learned. Let it go! Why are you obsessing about someone who doesn’t want to obsess about you? Would you ever go out with someone that obsessed about you? It’s not healthy!

You need to learn to let things go and not care. It’s really not that important. If you go out with somebody and you just don’t connect – it’s fine! Even if you think you connect and nothing happens – it’s fine! If the other person doesn’t feel the same way that you do – it’s okay!

You can always send another email or call them again in a few days in one last-ditch effort. Maybe they just needed to think about it. Who knows?

But you should never obsess about it. Every time you obsess about something, every time you over think something, every time you overanalyze something – every time you drive your friends crazy about something – there are more opportunities that you’ve missed to stay present, meet and connect with other people.

So stop caring so much, and start moving forward! The minute you begin to move forward, your life will become much easier to manage than you’ve ever imagined!

Todays video is all about how to have fun while meeting the opposite sex.

Stop being so uptight loosen up and enjoy!!!