As I am approaching the entrance, there is a guy standing there holding one of the doors open (and blocking the entrance) as he is talking to friends of his who just drove up (thus making him face in my direction).

So here I am, clearly walking toward the door to the restaurant, and I know he sees me, but yet he still just stands there blocking the doorway and doesn’t move. I look at him and I say, “Excuse me.” He looked up like he didn’t realize there was actually anyone near him.

This kind of total lack of self-awareness when you’re out and about is the reason why so many of you have so much difficulty meeting people. Every time I coach a man on observations, I tell him to observe the world around him and then I take a look at what he tells me he sees. It’s amazing how many things a lot of guys miss.

You’ve got to take in the world around you. I’m not talking about when you’re in the middle of talking to someone so that your eyes are darting all over the place. There is a way, however, to tune into the world.

If you’re blocking a door, have a sense of self-awareness. Maybe there is someone coming and you can hold the door open and connect with another person. When you’re in the market and you’re looking at people, have a better sense of awareness and look at the big picture.

So many people don’t look at the whole big picture at all. They are so focused on whatever the project or task at hand is, that they tend to miss all the opportunities.

Self-awareness is one of the best ways to become powerful at meeting people. Self-awareness, and meeting people by really feeling their presence, is the way to truly connect with the world. Once you become in touch with everybody around you and you start recognizing emotions and opportunities, you’ll start seeing things differently and the world will become slower for you.

The world is very slow for me. When I go out and about and I talk to people, I can see the conversations before I even have them.

It’s not that I’m thinking particularly about what is going to be said, because I always remain present when I’m talking to someone. I can, however, see walking over and experiencing that conversation because I feel it. I see things so slowly, and everything is broken down for me slowly.

Can I Have A Bite Of That Apple

So if I see a woman in the market looking at apples and sniffing them in a certain way, I know she is experiencing the essence of the fruit. I know exactly to walk over there with a smile and say, “You’re really enjoying that apple.” I know I’ve tapped into her energy because I’ve paid attention to the world around me. It really does not matter what you say as long as it pertains to what is going on in her world at that present moment.

By doing that, I am able to have an amazing conversation and create an amazing connection. That is why I tell all the men and women I coach to be totally tuned into the world. It allows you to actually see conversations unfold before they happen. You don’t know exactly what the conversations are going to be about, but they are going to unfold before your eyes.

So wake up and be perceptive of everything around you. Walk around and start noticing things around you that you’ve never noticed before. Pay attention to the smaller details of life, and you will not only be more successful in dating but also in life.

I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today on the art of follow up.

The key is to follow up with everybody. This keeps you in a very social environment – it keeps you very socially engaged all day long.

Women should do the same thing; women should do follow up as well. Many women will not follow up with the guys that they have talked to, so in turn, the guys don’t follow up with them. You want to be able to go out, play, and just have a good time.

Even if you’re not interested in the person, following up is important because other people are always looking at you. Do you see how people have noticed us since we’ve been out here? You can see how people are checking us out, how people are stopping when they see us having fun.

If you’re walking through a mall and you see a woman that you’ve talked to before but aren’t really that attracted to, you can follow up and say, “what are you doing? Are you making laps around the mall?”

By either saying something playful or saying something based on what you remember from your previous conversation, the two other women that are walking in your direction will notice that – they will notice the woman smiling at you. This will give you instant social proof. Everyone wants to talk to the fun person. Nobody wants to be approached by the boring guy.

You’re basically building up your social energy. This is why I constantly stress how important it is to talk to EVERYBODY. You have to make yourself available – emotionally, mentally and physically.

This is where most guys make the biggest mistake – they wait and only talk to the one person that they are attracted to. Women make this same mistake. If you do this, you’re going to be so nervous that you won’t be able to actually speak to that person!

The longer you wait between conversations with people of the opposite sex, the bigger it gets built up and the more the monkey chatter increases in your head. You’ll get more nervous and the experience will become more traumatic.

Client: One of the techniques I use to help relieve the social tension or anxiety is much like you do – I compliment people or find something interesting to comment on. Once I’ve done that, I just let it go. Would you say that is a good tactic?

David: Compliments and comments are great because they have no outcome derivative. This is what we talked about earlier. Paying someone a wonderful compliment, like telling them they look great, basically opens up your energy. It’s like good karma.

You can just walk over to someone and say, “wow, that dress looks great on you” and don’t expect anything from them. You should never expect anything from anybody.

Client: It was like that girl with the tattoo last night. It was like the throw and go.

David: Exactly! The throw and go – that’s great terminology. This will keep up your social momentum, and it will also keep you in a good frame of mind. If you’re in a good mindset, you’ll feel good and you’ll stay open to opportunities.

Once again – the longer you wait between conversations the more difficult it becomes. You will start to lose your energy.

It’s a long day. If you think about it, going out and meeting people all day long is intense. By 7:00 at night, you’re exhausted. Let’s see what you guys feel like tonight at 8:00 when we sit down to have dinner. You’ll be beat.

This takes so much energy. You’re observing everything and you’re constantly aware. You’re fully awake all day long. Most people sleep through the day.

I had this talk with my cleint the other day and thought you would enjoy it….so what are you thoughts today?